Friday, December 28, 2012


This is the second week in a row that I have no clue whatsoever what the F day it is. I'm serious. I've lived four Sundays already this week. Absolutely no day has yet felt like the correct day. I'm like coming home on Tuesday nights thinking maybe I'll turn on SNL or something. Man, am I ever in trouble.

Plus, if I've asked people once, I've asked them 19 times... WAIT. WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY, ANYWAY? I'm usually off only by a couple. If I'm lucky, that is. I'm telling you... this bit with holidays on weekdays throw me off TOTALLY.

Celebrating all this holiday cheer on crazy ass days other than weekends is indeed making a mess of my mind. And, even looking at my calendar doesn't always help, either. Thank God I remembered to even BUY a new calendar. I can't live without one, even on normal days.

Speaking of which, I begin putting GET CALENDAR on my shopping list way before the end of the year. I need to, given it takes me that long to find the one I want. Which is always a Marilyn Monroe calendar. I'd much rather look at her than say kitty cats. Or cars. Or whatever. And, for the past ten years... bingo. I've always found one.

Thank God. I LIVE by my calendar. I have the monthly one hanging near my kitchen phone and then every Sunday I fill in a weekly kind of calendar that I hang ABOVE the phone, on a cabinet door. This way I know exactly where to be when. Except for weeks like this, however. Case in point: I have on my calendar that there is an Open House I'm invited to on Sunday, Dec. 30th. I so have to wonder what my chances will be that I actually GET there on the correct date, given I'm so outta sync here with what day is what. I'll have to pay extra close attention however, since I'll REALLY be pissed if I miss out on some great food and some great company.

And tomorrow I have GOT to get to the bank. Without fail. I've been meaning to get there ever since Monday, but I swear... every day feels like a Saturday or Sunday to me. It WILL be Friday tomorrow, won't it?? And they WILL be opened, right?? Oh geez. That's all I need. In fact, maybe I'll even stop first and pick up a cookie tray to bring to the bank, since the bank officers there really ARE so nice to me all year round.

In the meantime, whatever the hell the day is tomorrow, I just hope I'm wherever I'm supposed to be. The good news however is that today is Thursday and yippee. There was no Core Training today. THAT of course I got down pat 1-2-3.

Thursday, December 27, 2012


See this picture? I totally love it. It's a picture of me which I've doctored up, but good. In fact, I purposely doctored it so that it would wind up mimicing a painting done with actual WATERCOLORS. One of the features my imaging software offers me.
I play around with these features all the time. I also have another program that does the same sort of thing and many times I'll mix the two up. Pictures often come out so damn cool. In fact, I did one of me several years ago... ala LeRoy Neiman... and I have it hanging above my family room sofa. I blew it up to about 4'x3', had it framed, etc. and totally love it, too. But now I'm thinking: maybe it's time to hang something new altogether.
Exactly what, I don't yet know. But, I think LeRoy may have already seen it's better days. And, with my new picture, I think I'll even forge the signature of some fancy schmancy artist who is famous for a particular genre and bingo. I'll pass it off a major pricey original. Yeah. I know. What can I say... I'm heavy into scamming if it serves my purposes. But whatever.
Regardless... I do have to admit that I could spend HOURS playing around with all the different images I'm able to create from a photograph. I can make it look like a charcoal sketch, an Andy Warhol silk screened painting, or even go for a wildly major saturated colored look. Or with a zillion other kinds of effects. It's SO up my alley and I am telling you...  I get completely lost in whatever effect I'm trying to create.
So much so that if ever I'm working on something before I need to head out, I am often in big trouble. Minutes just fly away from me and I have no clue how much time has passed until I happen to see the clock at the bottom of my monitor and then I of course jump right up and say HOLY SH%T. I'M LATE!! Oh man... don't ask.
In the meantime, I used several different options for the final picture up above; but I started first, with the Watercolor option. From there, I tweaked, undid, tweaked again, undid again until finally I got to a point where I loved the result. Oh yeah... this sort of deal is definitely only for those who want to spend mindless hours of downtime. Which of course is right up my alley. I've even created some OUTSTANDING images... Oops. I mean paintings... for several friends of mine. THEY LOVE THEIRS, TOO.

So basically... be forewarned. Should you ever walk into my house and see a fantastic signed painting of me... I will DEFINITELY tell you that I in fact sat for a really famous artist. And then I'll even prove it... I'll show you their signature. 

Now imagine that.  

Monday, December 24, 2012


For some reason, I can't remember whether or not I have already written about FUN... so I figured now is as good a time as ever. And no, I'm not referring to HAVING fun. Instead, I'm talking about the musical group FUN.

I saw them about a couple of months ago on SNL and flipped out when I saw them sing a song called: SOME NIGHTS. I wished I could tell you what about this tune drew me in so completely, but alas... I can't. For, I just don't know. What I CAN tell you however is... it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The energy, the sound, the lyrics... they all made my ears perk up imMEDiately. Which of course then made me run to YouTube, watch the video and then of course read the lyrics.

After which I had completely forgotten about the song.

Until about an hour ago, that is. I saw an ad for an upcoming show on HBO and bingo. I heard SOME NIGHTS playing in the background. Whammo. In a mere heartbeat... I was drawn in all over again.

What also fascinates me about this song is the supposed controversy as to what the hell the song even means. I've Googled several sites and it seems to boil down into two separate camps: 1.) its an anti- war song or 2.) it's about the inner conflict of a man in love. Even maybe about frustration of the band itself, working so damn hard to bring home the bacon via their music.

I myself am not really sure yet into which camp I may fall. I want to say: indeed... it's anti war... yet something inside strongly calls me over to the idea of a man who has loved and lost. I suspect a good argument can be made for either interpretation. On the other hand, if this IS an anti war song, then I'd be thrilled. Musicians of today SO should be putting their feelings of anti war, anti violence and anti corruption out into the musical world. It was such a potent theme in the 60s and 70s and God knows, if ever we need young voices once again... it's now.

However... being the ever romantic that I am... I really do think this song is probably about a conflicted love. Love is strong. It can be hard to address. It can hit you like an emotional bomb and even leave you totally shattered. Yet through it all, nothing on this planet can possibly ever be more treasured than the feeling of genuinely loving someone down to the very soul of your being.

In the meantime... you decide for yourself. Here's a link to the lyrics and see what YOU think. Or I guess, you can decide whether or not the song even speaks to you. 

Either way... then go and figure out some way to simply HAVE FUN tonight! God knows I am!

Friday, December 21, 2012


I decided I'm really really lucky. I get SUCH nice compliments almost every day that I almost can't believe it. Whether it's just me or it happens to everyone, I don't know... but regardless, I am really so grateful that each day brings me such lovely smiles. I'm so telling you... total and complete strangers have just the nicest things to say to me. And I mean it... EVERY day.

There are one of four things that I can count on each day of my life about which someone always has a kind word to say. It almost always begins with my necklace. Which btw, I wear every day and have for... oh, I don't know... the past five years at least. It's my big gold initial L around which I happened to have added a fabulous gold open cut heart that I got at a totally different time. I just sort of threw the two together and boom. They've been around my neck for years. The necklace measures about 36 inches and IS one of my alltime favorites. 

The second thing about which I am complimented on continuously is my diamond like pinkie ring. I LOVE THIS RING and there has never been a day I've worn it when SOMEone hasn't told me how just how unique and beautiful it is. Some have even gone so far as to ask me where I got it or even questioned it's authenticity. I had a manicure recently where the lady totally went over the top in the gushing department. I almost had to tell her to hold it down, please, since she was carrying on WAY too much. On the other hand, the people are in fact correct... it IS stunning.

The third thing about which I'm complimented on almost daily are my new eyeglasses. Which I've had for a total of only about four months so far, but which apparently are a real hit with the public at large. Not to mention... with ME, too. I fell in love with them the moment I saw them. Which is good since those too, I wear each and every day. 

The funny thing however is that it's soooo interesting to learn which of the four items people will comment on. Some are really into one of the four, but never any more than one at a time. Case in point....

If no one notices any of the aforementioned, then you can almost BET they will say something about how much they like my black fur infinity scarf. Which I love as much as I love the other three items. And which I double wrap around my neck every daytime in winter. It has some slight sparkle in it's fur too, which although hardly noticeable, does in fact add a baby bit of punch. I'm telling you... these are complete strangers giving me all these great compliments.

It's nuts... I could almost start my own sort of Admiration Society if I wanted. Which I don't, I might add. But I just find it so weird that people have such nice things to say to me. Which brings me to the day before yesterday. YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS ONE.

I had to wait for the lenses in my sunglasses to be fixed, so to kill 20 minutes, I went next door to my favorite sandwich shop and sat down to order a tuna fish sandwich. When I went to pay, the cashier... whom I adore... happened to ask what my Christmas plans were. It took me a minute to work out in my mind just what I was doing on which day so my response was just a bit slow. Which then meant....

OUT OF THE BLUE, the lady behind me... very nice looking woman about my age, I guess.... said to me: IF YOU HAVE NO PLANS, WHY NOT COME FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER AT MY HOUSE. I'M SERVING AN OLD FASHIONED ENGLISH DINNER.... STANDING RIB ROAST WITH YORKSHIRE PUDDING!! Whoa... I WAS SO STUNNED BY THIS VERY KIND INVITATION. Can you friggin' beLIEVE it??? OMG... now THAT'S what I call Christmas spirit! I was seriously flabbergasted.

Turns out she's having 12 people over for dinner and told me she noticed me having lunch because she felt I looked so "well put together", etc. WOW was all I could say. I told her that I thought it was a VERY sweet invitation, but seriously... I DID in fact have plans already and naturally thanked her very much.

Like how often does something like THAT ever happen?? Man... I was this far from blowing off my original plans just so I could taste a fantastic prime rib bone, believe you me! Anyway, add this invitation from a stranger to all the other things that I encounter each day and I'm telling you... I'm totally smiling. And I'm totally blessed.

And I apparently have totally great taste. Or... I simply live in the nicest city on the planet. Take your pick. And oh yeah... let's ALL say nice things to strangers, come 2013. ReGARDless of their accessories. Now... wouldn't THAT be a great resolution for the New Year!

Thursday, December 20, 2012


Okay... so supposedly the entire world, as we know it, ends tomorrow. Which means THANK GOD I got my 24 hours of fame in.... just in time. Get this... I WAS ON TV TODAY!!

Want proof?? Here... click on the link below. You'll see for yourself. Oh yeah... as point of information... I WAS ABSOLUTELY SCARED OUT OF MY EVER LOVIN' MIND. I mean it. Before the tape rolls... I was sorta myself. The second the tape rolls?? OMG... I have no clue whose voice nor words were coming from my mouth. NOW I know for the first time, what the meaning of something feeling surreal is all about. Regardless... check it out.


I wished I had more time here right now to tell you all about this, but apparently celebrity has already kicked in. Thus, I have hordes of phone calls to return from those congratulating me on my new found fame. And oh yeah... in case we DO have to meet our maker sometime tomorrow, let me just say:

I have loved almost every minute of my life. It's been fantastic. I have no regrets, no complaints, no heartbreaks. Well, okay. Maybe a couple. But still... life has been wonderful to me and I wish that EVERY one I know could have been as blessed as I have been. You'd be smiling but plenty!

Besides... I have loved and been loved. Who could ask for more?? Oh yeah... one last thing. To my kid... you were always my alltime favorite, bar none. I love you.    


Monday, December 17, 2012


Well... America does, maybe. God knows I don't. However, why let a little thing like that stand in the way of some Xmas cheer. Which means:

OMG... are you guys ever in for the shock of a lifetime. Just WAIT til you hear this holiday greeting of mine. And NO. You can't hurl raw eggs at me. I created this with great appreciation for all of you... world wide I might add... who follow my blog and beg to hear instead of just read. This is the second time I've ever done this but who knows? I just may be onto something afterall.   

Sunday, December 16, 2012


Yesterday I decided to pleasure myself. I know... sounds kinda sexy... but get over it. I'm not talking about what you're imagining. Instead, I'm talking about a decision I made to enjoy myself by going to the big city shopping mall ALONE and spending the day browsing just the stores I wanted, at my own leisurely pace with nary a worry of what others wished. Nor what others needed.. nor what others time schedule might be. It was fantastic.

Basically, I was on a mission. I had a bra to return which as it happens I DID do last weekend. Uh... except one small glitch. I returned the WRONG BRA. What an idiot I am. I had originally bought three, but only wanted to keep two. Therefore, I not only had to return the correct one, but also, buy back the one I returned in the first place. Don't ask.

So the first thing I have to say is: OMG. I WAS IN CULTURE SHOCK. I could not beLIEVE the traffic leading into the mall. IT WAS CRAZY. And... it took me a good ten minutes to even FIND a parking space. Serves me right to begin with however, for even thinking of going into the city so close to Christmas. But... I survived.

Second of all... THE PEOPLE! Whoa. Who ever said there was an economy problem here in the U.S.?? Have they even BEEN to a store recently? I happened to glance into the huge windows of the Old Navy store and there were hordes of people happily in way long lines, willing to wait and wait until they got to a cashier. So much for money woes.

Third of all, I was THRILLED to see on way back to my car, a sign across the street... another mall altogether... that a JO-ANN FABRICS store had opened. Who knew?? I was in my glory. I headed over there, walked in and was surrounded by bolts and bolts of alllll kinds of fabrics! Best of all, thanks to my self pleasuring decision, I could walk around the store, with no need to hurry, eyeing and touching all the fabrics that caught my fancy. It was wonderful. I love the sensuality of feeling the silks, the chiffons and the satins. I also love seeing the glittered, blingy fabrics. By the time I left, I bought a yard and a half of three separate knitted fabrics to make slacks.

Fourth of all, I was then able to head back towards home, stopping first at the Verizon store. Seems as if I needed further instruction on how to upload a video given I was in PENDING mode for over a week. Boom. I met Jonas who told me what my deal was AND he threw in the fact I could call him anytime, night or day. To which you just KNOW I had a comeback. Talk about setting me up for a hilarious reply.

Fifth of all, next I headed over to Moe's Southwestern Grill to retrieve my alltime favorite black fur scarf that they FOUND after all. I was sure it was gone forever. Man... was I ever thrilled. Not enough though, to stay and grab something to eat. THAT I did on my next stop which was SUBWAY. I decided having a turkey sub on whole wheat was better than some sort of burrito with everything known to man layered into it.

I figured I arrived back home maybe five hours later feeling every bit of pleasure for which I had hoped. I meandered anywhere I wanted and did so with having to please only one person... ME. Naturally, somewhere during the evening news, I fell right smack to sleep for at least an hour, but whatever. In fact, I was so alert after my nap that I was up until exactly 2:20 a.m. at which time I fell into a total, complete, happy slumber.

Which was good given today, I was invited to a FANTASTIC Christmas Musical Celebration with dinner to follow. YEA. And tomorrow I'll be with 8 others for a few hours of Canasta. Throw in another four or five more holiday parties on the agenda and boom. I'll be surrounded by all SORTS of people once again. 

So much for going solo in the pleasuring department.

Friday, December 14, 2012


I can't even find the words... and nor can you... to imagine what the families of the slain children must be feeling tonight. It's a sheer tragedy and one that will define the parents of these children for the rest of their lives. It's heartbreaking to the core.

I am anti gun. I always have been. I would NEVER have allowed a gun in my home, whether my kids be young OR grown. There is only one purpose for aiming a gun. To kill. And if it's killing you're in to, then for SURE you shouldn't have one. Oh yeah... for those who own a gun for "protection"... here's a heads' up... I can almost promise that you will never be any where near wherever you keep the gun, when the protection is actually needed. You're in the kitchen when you discover you're face to face with danger?? Boom. The gun will be somewhere in the bedroom, with no chance of retrieving it in time. 

If you know anyone who already has a gun, my suggestion is you tell especially them... OKAY. HAVE YOUR DAMN GUN, BUT... DO SOMETHING IMMEDIATELY to help fight gun control as part of countering your ownership. DO ANYTHING, but do something. This country is in desperate need of winning it's fight for gun control laws. When we need to begin protecting our children while in elementary schools, this is a major sign that we are f'ed but good. Let alone protecting yourself and/or your children when off to a shopping mall. Don't ask. I am simply sickened by this entire bulls^%*t.

No words can describe how I feel. Nor is there any possible argument you can offer up to defend the need of a fire arm. We should be ashamed to be a country known for having more guns than any other country, world wide. Thus... what a surprise... our citizens kill more fellow citizens than anywhere on the planet. 

This is nothing short of a shame. A bloody shame. Bless those children in Connecticut. Bless their teachers. Bless their families.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


See this picture? Know what it is?? Well... I'll give you a clue: it's a transplant of sorts. And I'm really proud my surgical skill, I must admit. MAJOR proud, to be exact. To be clear, this is the "before" transplant. The "after" is way better looking, given it's brand new and correctly installed. 

Turns out, the other day I performed surgery on my sewing machine and I am SHOCKED I figured out how to do it.

Normally, whenever I have a problem with the machine, I'm forced to travel about a half hour away, leave the machine for at least a week, drive back home another half hour, then of course make the trip all over again to it pick up all spiffy and repaired. True... the place does an entire fabulous spring cleaning on my machine but I'm still forced to go this sewing store for even the smallest of troubles. Plus, of course, I have to ante up plenty of bucks.

But, it's worth it. This is a sewing machine my Mother had given me YEARS and YEARS ago, and I love it despite it's age. In fact, after Mom passed away, I took her updated machine, but I never even opened it yet. I'm still sticking with my old tried and true one. Who needs all the fancy schmancy computerized buttons, anyway?? 

Besides... while my mother was a master seamstress, I am nothing but a pretend sort of sewer. I do my own tailoring of ready to wear clothing, yes. But I do it the alltime easiest and/or most simplistic way known to man. My Mother on the other hand, created fantastic, fine styled clothing from scratch. If pressed, she could even sew a gentleman's sport coat for instance. Me?? I'm more into sewing leggings from scratch. They come out damn good, but it's a completely different approach than my Mom's.

In the meantime, my recent surgery was a HUGE deal to me. It's probably Mickey Mouse to most others but who cares. Get this...

I had to change the light bulb above the presser foot! So I could actually SEE the stitching as it was moving right along. I can't believe it... after allllll these years, the light bulb burnt out. EEKS. Enter: surgical procedure.

How in hell DOES one replace that bulb, anyway?? There was absolutely NO WAY whatsoever I could find an opening to allow me to do so. How does one even GET to it?? I was totally stymied. And was totally too lazy to drive a half hour back and forth to find out how.

Soooo... while I was in a fabric store the other day, a light bulb... no pun intended... went off in my head. As in: Ask them if they sold bulbs for a Bernina Sewing Machine and then come home... and Google how to do it myself! Bingo. I was half way through Sewing Machine Medical School.  

I got the correct bulb, came home, indeed Googled the info I needed and THEN... I went to YouTube to watch and learn exactly how how this procedure was to go down . OMG... THIS WAS SHEER GENIUS. Best of all, there actually WAS a video showing me EXACTLY how to perform the replacement... in easy step by step instructions no less!

Talk about being in heaven. I WAS IN MY GLORY. I watched the video... got out the tools I needed to open a part of the sewing machine I'd never even noticed before AND WHAMMO.... SWITCHED OUT THE LIGHTS. It was nothing short of miraculous. I'M A MECHANICAL SURGEON. Who knew??

Which only  means that NOW... I have a brand spanking new light bulb in my machine AND I can see my stitching. WHAT A DEAL. Anddddddddd... best of all??? IT COST ME ALL OF $1.99!!! Oh man... I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see this all work out so well. I only WISHED my Mother could have seen this! On the other hand, I'll bet SHE would have known how to tear the entire machine apart and do all the maintenance ever needed for a lifetime.

No wonder. She was my Mother. She knew everything.

Thursday, December 6, 2012


I swear... I felt like Forrest Gump today. I can't believe it. I could have walked MILES and MILES.

For my core training class today, I left my house about 11:20. Which means... I must have put my athletic shoes on about 11:10. Once I got there, Deanna was talking to me about how comfy our shoes are. I had to agree... but unlike alot of other people, I would NEVER wear these shoes anywhere but to exercising. They may be comfortable as hell, but man, are they ever not pretty looking at all. WAY too un-feminine for my taste.

Truth be told... I have lots of shoes. I love shoes. And I love flats, in particular. Especially since I basically had to give up heels years ago, but whatever. In the meantime, I have zillions of flats and most are pretty damn spiffy looking if I say so myself. My favorite ones are probably the ones I bought at Talbot's about six months ago... made of a black lace like fabric through which you can see the toes. VERY sexy looking. VERY pricey, too, but it was a sheer pleasure spending the bucks since the shoes ARE stunning. Up above you'll see what they look like.

My athletic shoes on the other hand, are way clunky and totally unattractive. BUT MAN, ARE THEY EVER A DELIGHT FOR THE FEET. Which is why Deanna and I were comparing shoes in the first place. Anyway... as it happens I had a lot of places to go after our workout.

Naturally, lunch was first on the list. I hooked up with two friends... had a nice long lunch and chit chat. Then I had to take one of them to pick up their car, so therefore... we all decided to get some dessert and meet up yet again. This time... at the fresh yogurt place almost next door to the car place, to continue our eating and/or our chit chat. THEN, I had to do several errands, and by the time I got home, I still had my ugly athletic shoes still on. SO NOT LIKE ME.

In fact, at some point I sat down to watch the news, and by the time it was over, at 7:00, I noticed the shoes were still on my feet and I thought... OMG... I COULD BE FORREST GUMP. Meaning: given I had worn these shoes all day long, I immediately realized... with THESE??? OH MAN. I COULD WALK AND WALK AND WALK AND WALK FOR MILES AND MILES AND MILES AND STILL... MY FEET WOULD FEEL GREAT.. Of course Forrest was heavy into running, but THAT I would never ever consider, even from room to room. Believe me... I don't normally like to break a sweat, if I can ever possibly help it.

Anyway, no sooner had I realized I could be Forrest, than I picked up the phone, called Deanna and told her: from now on, my new name is FORREST. And I told her why. After which we both had a great laugh, but I mean it... these monstrosity of shoes are simply incredible!

On the other hand, they are for core training only. Give me my black lace flats ANY day. Or even my black Anne Klein flats with the beautiful gold initials. Or better yet, my black sequined covered smoking shoe flats which are now all the rage. THOSE shoes may not be made for walking all day long but whoa are they ever pretty! Just the way I like it.

Sunday, December 2, 2012


I've been reading a biography of the Bronte" family. As in the most well known of the clan: Emily, Anne and Charlotte. I'm learning alot about this family, too and how these famous authors even came to be. It's kind of amazing, I must say. Anyone else would have given up on this book after the first 30 pages, but me?? I've plodded right along and lo and behold... turns out there's way more interesting a story in their lives than one would have imagined.

Which is why tonight, I sat down and decided maybe there could be yet ANOTHER literary sister... one who has yet to discovered. ME. Which is also why I wanted to try my hand at poetry. As I was showering tonight, I had the first line already in my head. It just kind of popped in, so I figured I'd run with it. You can too, by reading the poem below. 

Granted... an English Lit teacher might think it deserving of a poor mark... but what the hell do THEY know, anyway?? Besides... if you're writing something from your own head, at least you get points for even TRYing. So here... go ahead and read this and see what YOU think. If it sucks... don't tell me.

SUNSHINE   A Poem by Linda Bronte" 

I saw the sun once... and oh, how it had shone.
I saw the rays of love upon me... they felt like mine alone.
He too, saw the sun... and we'd gaze at it together.
For all the days left to us... I thought we'd see this sun forever.

I felt the sun once... as it's warmth spread over me.
Deep down to my soul our joyous love... would dance with sparkling ease.
He also felt the sun once... especially when we'd touch.
The sweet, sweet heat was always there each time that we would clutch.

We always felt this shining sun would never leave our heart.
That nothing in this world of ours would ever tear apart.
Both he and I created something... we'd never known before.
We'd dream and talk and plan and yearn... in ways that made us sure.

The sun gave me laughter... joy and friendship, memories galore.
I couldn't get enough of it. I craved it more and more.
The sun gave him music... with words of love he never sang til then.
Oh yes, indeed... what bonded comrades surely we had been.

We were sailing like two lovers... always meant to be.
I his dearest treasure... my greatest bliss was he.
A jeweled world within our reach... the prize calling with true affection.
But ah, how now the clouds do cover... the sun from it's detection.

I search within my aching well... wondering where it went.
Like a fallen tree about to break... near the ground, so low and bent. 
How and when did the sunshine fade? Oh this I'll never know.
For I love him now as I loved him then... and just once more I'd tell him so.

I must be brave I tell the sun... I must allow he's no longer mine.
And pray for strength to pass through life... with calm to realign.
Perhaps one day we'll see the moon... and all it's twinkling stars.
Knowing that deep inside us both... we've never been afar.

Oh yes, a fool I just may be... I sadly must admit.
For long before, his heart and voice... offered me such lift.
So I wonder now if this fool I am... will ever warm his soul.
Like that shining sun we once knew... and fill our broken hole.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


According to the Linda School of Meteorology, WINTER IS HERE. Forget that it officially begins on 12/21. As far as I'm concerned, it's here and it's staying here.

AND, I'm celebrating its arrival by going shopping today with a bunch of friends at the BIG mall. In the BIG city. Which is the closest I can possibly get to feel like I'm shopping in Manhattan. It's a poor excuse, true; but trust me... I am sure I'll find plenty of potential purchases that will make make me as happy as a little lark. Maybe I'll find yet ANOTHER pair of fantastic winter boots or even a cashmere sweater in the department stores. Regardless... what really tells me winter is here, is easy. I have several clues. Case in point:

1.) The leaves are all gone. As in: Fallen. Down. Kaput. And if there ARE any left, they're all brown. Plus, they won't return until late next March which is a major bummer but believe you me... seeing all the coloration of the leaves during autumn almost makes it all worthwhile. Soooo stunning. 

2.) I've bundled up many a day thus far, but have worn my REALLY heavy winter coat but once. That's because of my new discovery... the multi million dollar silk underwear I wear each and every day under my sweaters and/or tops. Man, what a difference it makes. I totally love it. Mainly because it frees me from HAVING to wear the really heavy winter coat. I can now get away with a much lighter one.

3.) I have had the fireplace burning pretty much every night the past month, just to get the house nice and toasty given the COLD temps. I can't tell you how fantastic it is to see the fire burning and it absolutely warms things up in a heartbeat.  

4. I've already attended a couple of parties, to get me in the holiday mood. One was Thursday night and I was tickled pink at the food the caterer served. Whoa, was that ever delicious. And yippee... I've gotten other invitations too, so I'm kinda thinking the food THERE will be just as delicious.

5.) Everyday I leave the house, I always grab my black fur infinity scarf, as I head out the door. I pop that around my neck a couple of times, and I'm SO good to go. I can live with cold hands... I CAN'T live without a warm neck or warm feet. I even sleep with socks every night... I know, pretty sexy, right??... under a new king sized plushie kind of blanket that keeps me soooo warm, it's unbelievable. You feel like you're sleeping under the softest huge stuffed animal fabric ever.

So basically, I'd have to say that yes... winter is here and so far, I'm grooving along with it perfectly well. Granted, I'm told that this is going to be a MEAN winter so right now, when there is no snow holding me hostage in the house and the power is working just fine and the sky is a brilliant blue outside, it's easy to groove. When all that OTHER stuff kicks in, I'll be bitching, plenty, believe me.

Oh yeah... for those of you living in Florida or California... I feel really badly for the scam you guys live with whereby you're told it's the holiday season. I lived with that scam myself for 55 years, knowing full well that if it's Christmas.. then it's supposed to be COLD and/or WHITE. In fact, we had a white Christmas four years ago and let me tell you... there's nothing like it to get you in the holiday mood for sure. But... the holidays in 80 degree weather?? Totally not the way it should be.

So YEA. I welcome winter. Two months from now, however... I could almost bet... I'LL BE ON MY KNEES PRAYING FOR SPRING. Which, btw, is possibly as beautiful as autumn. Or not.

Thursday, November 29, 2012


Yippee... I've got a whole new start in life. And I couldn't be happier. Guess what?


OMG. You can't imagine how thrilled I am that she has recovered from knee surgery. And... halle-f-ing-lujah... SHE CAN DRIVE AGAIN. And walk again. And help me again. AND BRING ME BACK TO THE LAND OF THE LIVING again. Man. I'm totally thrilled like you can't imagine.

Granted Bonnie's not yet allowed to pick up anything heavier than a phone book at the moment, but who cares. And true, she can't do my grocery shopping quite yet. But she CAN help me do all my bills once again and fight with the people on the phones once again and figure out my insurance claims once again and God only knows what ELSE once again. It's just soooo good having my assistant back. We're BOTH on cloud nine.

Particularly me. Because... get this. For MONTHS now I've needed to do a hard core cleaning of my freezer. I needed to go through it, throw out all the out of date crap, rearrange all the shelves and totally wash down all the interior. Today was the day I decided: BRING IT ON. THE TIME HAS COME. WE'RE DOING THE FREEZER.

With Bonnie sitting in a chair that I moved right smack up to the door of the freezer, we went through EVERYthing and I'd say about 45 minutes later, my freezer looked practically brand new once again. AND... I could actually SEE whatever the hell I had in it! Who KNEW I had chicken thighs hiding way in the back? Or that there was cooked and sliced pork loin, enough to feed a family of 17?? Or three containers of frozen Guacamole instead of just two. Man. You just can't iMAGine how much food I had to get rid of.

Of course I saved every single one of the 11 half eaten party cakes that I froze after entertaining in the past year. THOSE I keep since you never know WHEN my sweet tooth may kick in. Coconut cake from a past luncheon? Boom. I've got it. Chocolate fudge layer cake from my BEFORE MY FACELIFT party? Yippee. That's there, too. White cake with white butter cream icing from my last birthday party? Bingo. It's in my freezer. I'm so telling you. I can host a dessert-only party any night I want, last minute or not... for the entire block! What could be bad??

In the meantime, what REALLY matters is that Bonnie is now back in the game. My game to be exact and she couldn't be happier. God knows... I can't, either. Yes, I made it through three months doing everything myself. Yes, out of necessity, I was a normal person there for a while. But with Bonnie now back in good health... I may not necessarily be normal but man, I AM happy!! Just the way I like it.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


I don't really HAVE a favorite number, although I used to think it was 4. Then I decided I think I like 2 better. I have no clue why I love that number but I suspect it's because it always make me think of a couple. As in: two people madly in love. I have no idea whether or not these numbers actually ever BROUGHT me good luck, but regardless... I do love 2 the best.

However, today I think maybe I should change the number to 12. Get this... I was at the nail salon today which was good since man, did I ever need a manicure! And... this is the second time in my life that I had a MAN give it to me, given my regular operator was apparently called for jury duty. The guy does a pretty decent job, I must say, but trust me.... chit chat during a manicure with a male is way different than that with a female. Like it's pretty hard talking to a man all about... what else?? MEN. 

In the meantime what I loved best about being there today was that when I went to make my NEXT appointment, for two weeks from today... it turns out that particular Wednesday falls on the 12th. Of December. In the year of 2012. Which means: OMG... my appointment is for 12-12-12!! How often does THAT HAPPEN??? I totally loved it! AND... wanna guess for what TIME I made the appointment?? Why of course. I just HAD to make it for 12 o'clock!!! Which is what you see on my appointment card up there in the pict. This is just soooo great, if you ask me.

And, if you also ask the lady standing next to me, making HER next appointment. SHE was smart however. SHE made it for 12:12 p.m!!! WHOA. I COMPLETELY LOVED THAT IDEA. Which is why I naturally tried to copy her immediately thus told the guy... WAIT. I WANT 12:12, TOO. He didn't fall for it though, I'm sorry to say. I have to show up at noon. Although the lady DID tell me to kinda forget him and show up at 12:12 anyway. I love the way this lady thinks, right?

Which now makes me imagine that since tonight's Power Ball is for something like $14 billion, maybe I should run out and play the number 12!!! Can you even IMAGINE if I were to win??? Hell... in that case, I'd begin having all my manicures at HOME. And, my biggest problem would then become... at WHICH home. For believe you me... I'd have a home here, there and everywhere.

In fact, there's been several segments on TV the past couple of days talking all about the idiots who win these huge lotteries only to then end their lives altogether or get sent to jail or spend it on the most outrageously ridiculous things possible or... just show sheer stupidity in one way or another in spending the loot. Not me, however. Me?? First thing I'm going to do is call my accountant lickety split to set up revocable trust funds for every person I ever loved. And you can bet your bottom dollar...

I'm definitely making that call at 12 o'clock midnight.

Monday, November 26, 2012


Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's great having your kid home. It's ALWAYS excellent seeing him again. 

Yet even better, he helps to get alot of things done that I alone can't necessarily do. But man... what was REALLY great was the solid for me the other day.

Turns out I was able to upgrade my phone for a mere few hundred dollars instead of many hundreds, given my contract was up for renewal. And, I wanted to get a phone that had superb battery life. Since my kid is an Apple guy through and through, he of course always wants me to do an iPhone. But I tried that once. Bingo. I had to return it like two weeks later given the Android's screen was much bigger. My eyesight has a problem, so my son was happy to help me figure out which NEW phone I should get. Trust me, we checked out a slew of them. 

After uh... about three hours in the Verizon store, I walked out a happy woman. I LOVE MY NEW PHONE. Seriously. It's a 4G Droid Razr Maxx HD and I'm so  telling you... I could almost swear it's faster than my desktop. It's soooo great. I'm like on cloud nine over this deal. And major in love. Best of all, the battery life is unbelievable!

Plus... I can't beLIEVE how patient my son was in the phone store, either. I mean.... waiting for the waitress to bring our drinks? He could go nuts. But hanging with the phone guy? Hell, take your time. No need to rush. 

In the meantime, my kid did all the finagling for me and even stood with the guy the entire time the phone was being all set up. I myself was major antsy so I went outside to take a break during the hours we spent there. Hmmmm.... about four breaks, if you really want to know. I basically said: HERE'S MY CREDIT CARD. JUST GET IT DONE, PLEASE. I'M GOING OUTSIDE. THANKS!

Bingo. He obeyed me. By the time I walked back in from my last break, yippee. My phone was ready to roll. I in turn was ready to play and begin downloading all the apps I can't live without. Like Huffington Post, Checkers, QVC, Fat Booth, HBO GO, etc. etc. I am telling you... the downloads took mere SECONDS. I was totally stunned. AND... THE SCREEN?? OMG... the HD is amazingly fantastic. Check out the picture I took with it while in the store! Not bad, right?? AND... GET THIS.

No sooner had we installed Skype than OMG... my nephew from Australia called us! WE SKYPED IN PICTURE PERFECT HD on this phone and none of us could get over it. The two boys grew up as close as brothers so they were both happy as little larks. I was thrilled for them AND for me. No wonder. I NOW HAVE MIRACLE PHONE.

So if I were you, talk to Santa. Beg him to please drop this phone down your chimney ASAP. You'll never regret it. Then of course... once he does... HEY, THIS IS CRAZY. BUT HERE'S MY NUMBER. SO CALL ME MAYBE.

Sunday, November 25, 2012


I used to be so smart. About lots of things. But especially about romantic love which for some reason I've been thinking about a lot today. And, all about falling in love, too. I'm pretty much a sucker for every angle of it. 

I've had plenty of practice with all this for indeed I've truly been happily in love a several times in my day. And for that I feel really blessed. But only once... did I REALLY ever fall deeply, madly, crazy ass in love.

Which is why it strikes me as so odd that even to this very day, and apparently not being as smart as I once was... I ache still for the loss the of that one genuine deep love that apparently was never meant to be. What's even odder is I sometimes forget all about the two absolute truths I discovered several years ago regarding love.

One: You'll never have to guess whether or not he's way interested in you. You'll always know it. Because basically... he'll make SURE you know it. 

Two: You'll never have to wonder whether or not he's fallen out of love with you. You'll always know that as well. Because THAT he'll make even plainer than truth number One.  

So it's pretty strange that while intellectually I accept that the single true love of my life will of course never be lived out, emotionally I have never yet been able to totally shake the feeling of disappointment he and I are kaput. That's nuts, right? In fact, they say that time supposedly time heals all wounds, yet I'm kinda thinking... bulls%$^. Especially now since at my age, my days are pretty much numbered. Thus, the countdown to time healing me is, as I see it, becoming shorter and shorter. That SO can't be good.

On the other hand... any love story, any movie about love and/or any love song... trust me... I'm already way into it. It completely knocks my socks off. I've read them all, seen them all and sung them all. Which is why I'm still very much a romantic at heart. I believe in love. I trust in love. I'd even lie for love.

I can't really tell you which book, song or movie is my all time favorite since to be honest, I adore so damn many of them, you wouldn't believe it. I've even cried over some too. And... of course laughed. 

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY was sheer genius in the hilarity department, but oh man... did Harry ever love Sally when he went to chase her down at the New Year's Eve party. Totally up my alley. And seriously... my eyes still well up everytime I see the last scene of YOU'VE GOT MAIL only because both Tom Hanks and I just KNEW ShopGirl was the authentic love of his life. And, those aren't even the classics, either. Oh yeah... go listen to Roberta Flack one day sing FIRST TIME EVER I SAW YOUR FACE and boom. You'll know what loving means to HER, alright. 

I have a theory btw. In my book... if you pass up on your one genuine love, you then probably pass up on life, too. For, to me... that's exactly WHY God gave us emotions in the first place: TO FALL MAD PASSIONATELY IN LOVE. Which btw, IS the strongest emotion in the human species. Second probably being the painful loss you feel when your said love slips away. Which naturally is why Valentine's Day is such a success. A MAJOR success I might add. Besides, you're SUPPOSED to live happily ever after. 

I sort of have to smile when I think about my own personal zest for life and love. Cause when you have zest, you always have a chance for falling in love all over again. Living on memories is great when let's say your parents pass away. When it comes to romance and passion however, it's all about moving forward and being guided by the truest joy known to man. And to woman. 

Which only means maybe it IS time for me to stop pining away for all that which has since passed. Afterall, truth can only set me free. As in: One and Two. 

Yippee. Maybe I'm not so dumb afterall.


I'm pretty damn thankful this entire weekend. No wonder. MY KID IS HOME. How much do I love that?? It's just so great when he is around. Even though as we speak... he's taking a time out, screwing up our entire dinner schedule by sitting and watching the Florida/Florida State game in spite of the fact he told me ten minutes ago... OKAY. LET'S MOVE IT. Naturally, I got ready to do so, bundling myself all up given it's 39 degrees outside, only to find out... uh... he's rescheduling the departure time altogether since Florida just scored. Duh... I finally got the message and had to get all de-bundled.

Still... it's fantastic having him here, though. We had a simply delicious Thanksgiving Dinner with 12 of us gathering together and man, was I psyched about the stuffing that I had been looking forward to days before. I don't know what got into me... I was like CRAVING the stuffing this year. Anyway, I ate that and all the other goodies and let me tell you there were goodies gaLORE. I was in feast heaven.

Yesterday my kid and I spent what? Like three hours maybe at the Verizon store?? But it was totally worth it since... Yippee. Thanks to my kid's excellent knowledge of all things techie, I got a fanTAStic new HD phone and I absolutely love it. After dinner tonight, apparently I'm also getting an external hard drive. Naturally, not for me... but for him. However, who cares. I love seeing my kid happy. Which btw, he is right this minute given ANOTHER touch down just occured.

Anyway... we were outside a bit ago, staring at the GREAT job he did in hanging our Xmas lights earlier today. As of three years ago, I never in my entire life, had Xmas lights outside my house. Boom. My son, out of the clear blue sky, then decided one Thanksgiving, he's beginning a whole new tradition. BINGO. HE'S HANGING A BUNCH OF LIGHTS. He does a damn good job, too, I must say. Both of us btw, want to shoot the people across the street, since every year they seem to up the ante by going all out with THEIR lights. You have no idea. Today they added a whole new deal with these two beautiful huge lit potted plants on the sides of the front door. AND they even string lights all up the walkway to the front door. SO NOT FAIR.

Oh yeah... we also had to make a stop this weekend at Piggy's... our favorite ice cream hang out. Since when does he love mint chocolate chip, anyway?? I couldn't even eat my own sundae damnit... was still too full from Thanksgiving dinner AND the lunch that we had yesterday at my favorite sandwich shop. 

OMG... THEY JUST SCORED AGAIN. Don't ask what's doing with the cheering that's going on in the family room. Even I had to go check it out.  

In the meantime, I am just so thankful for soooo many things but I'd have to say... at the top of my list is my kid. I'd kill to have him living back home once again but a.) he'd throw up at the idea and b.) I'd have to stock all 17 of his favorite salad dressings in my refrigerator once again. So not going to happen.

Sunday, November 18, 2012


Well... this was a pretty spiffy week, if you ask me, which included, amongst other things... my TV debut with my plastic surgeon. I SO can't wait until 12/20 when my brief... but should have been WAY longer... segment will air on our local TV station. The entire deal was amazing. In fact, when I first walked into the station itself, I walked up to the receptionist and said: HI. I'M THE BRAND NEW ANCHORWOMAN. WHERE SHALL I REPORT?? To which of course the lady laughed with a smile saying basically: YEAH, RIGHT. The entire incident made ME laugh right out loud.

I got a major tour of the station, saw lots the TV personalities in a briefing room of sorts and then naturally began to panic that I'd forget all the things I needed to say on air. Oh yeah...due to technical difficulties, literally, we had to tape the segment twice; but that merely helped to ease my nerves so actually... it was to my major benefit.

In the meantime, I've also had company the past few days this week and had a great time. We celebrated their 65th birthday and we did it in style, alright. We even got to see LINCOLN which was sorta new given I can't even REMEMBER the last time I got out of a movie at midnight. Talk about feeling like you're in your 20s once again! However....

The real star of our celebration was probably last night. No wonder. We went to see THE KING. Kind of anyway. We went to a cover concert of Elvis Presley and do I even need to TELL you what a fabulous time I had? Holy Baholy. Probably my ALLTIME FAVORITE rock and roll, ever. There's a picture of the singing star of the night up above, at the beginning of this entry. Nice, right?? 

The guy who did the concert was not trying to BE Elvis. He was merely SINGING Elvis. And boy did HE ever do an astounding job! The theater was going nuts with delight. His voice was spectacular and the band was INcredible! All within like what?? 30 feet in front of me, maybe?? Oh man... talk about being in sheer heaven. Having front row center seats didn't hurt, either. It was kinda like a theater in the almost round, but I did get to stare at the stunning guy singing throughout the entire show.

When first we sat down, I noted right off the bat, a BEAUTIFUL woman, about 40 maybe... sitting in the first seat of the front row to my right... and pegged her as the girlfriend of the pretend Elvis. Man. WHAT a couple they made. 

I thought I would DIE when he pulled her up to the mike to sing DON'T as she stared into his eyes and glowed in his words. I would have too. Now THERE is a song that I'd kill to have the love of my life sing to me. And... when he sang AMAZING GRACE I thought I HAD died and gone to heaven. SUSPICIOUS MINDS, BURNING LOVE and I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU also threw me straight up to the stars. LOVE ME put me right up in the stratosphere altogether.   

Anyway, I just can't begin to tell you how out of my mind I was during this entire performance. It was nothing short of magnificent. And mind you, I HAVE seen Elvis live, when he was at the Hollywood Sportatorium back in the 70's. I was just so happy spending the evening hearing some of my very very favorite music. 

Okay... so the guy sang his heart out and ended the show about two hours later. I wished I could tell you what song he ended with, but I simply can't. With good reason, too. Because... get THIS:

By the time the last song came around, the crowd was pretty much rocking. Including me, for sure. THEN... out of the clear blue sky... I look up and WHOA NELLIE. Right before me is the GIRLFRIEND! The singer's girlfriend!! And what does she do, but, whammo... PULL ME RIGHT SMACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE DANCE FLOOR WHERE SHE IMMEDIATELY BEGINS DANCING WITH ME ALL OVER THE PLACE. I'm telling you... I almost could have switched teams RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Well, not really, but she WAS hot. All I could think was: 


It was crazzzzy. She and I were having the time of our lives. Needless to say... the first thing I ask her above the loud music is: HOW LONG YOU TWO BEEN THIS MADLY IN LOVE??? She tells me: four years!! Has GOT to be the best f'ing four years of her LIFE. And... she was a GREAT dance partner, too, btw. Can you IMAGINE?? Which reminds me...

This is the second time in about a year that some stranger and/or actor has come and pulled me right onto the dance floor with them. The other time was when I went to see THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY and the Big Bopper grabbed my hand and HE TOO started dancing all over the aisle with me.

So I'm sorta thinking there's a lesson in all this. First... go listen to some fanTAStic rock and roll. Second... get front row seats, I guess. THEN...sit back and wait. Who knows? Maybe YOU too will rock your ass off while you're dancing all around the room to some of the best music EVER.

Better yet... go with ME. We could BOTH be singing and dancing to our hearts' content. Now... THAT'S what I call living!

FOOTNOTE: For you know who. Just LISTEN to the quality of his clear, deep, OH SO S E X Y voice on this soundtrack. Kill me now.

Sunday, November 11, 2012


So as I've mentioned before I've pretty much declared Sunday as the day I head out to the grocery store. Maybe Saturday, but not normally. Anyway, it is still becoming a real eye opener for me.

Case in point: had Bonnie ever come home telling me they no longer carry caffeine free Diet Coke I would NEVER in a million years have believed her. It's like IMPOSSIBLE that such a product is no longer to be found in this particular store. But, sure enough... THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENED. For three weeks straight now, I've marched myself to the Diet Coke aisle and holy baholy... IT'S NO LONGER BEING STOCKED. WTF??

I can't even believe it. To ME that's like saying: SORRY. WE'RE NO LONG CARRYING PAPER TOWELS. What can these people possibly be thinking?? And, to find out... you can be SURE I've spoken to every Ass't. Manager, Manager, stock people, cashier, etc. in the store. Yada yada yada. They all give me some song and dance, but the bottom line is: no more caffeine free Diet Coke. It's gone forever I guess.

Which is pretty disturbing news, if you ask me. I have been a COKE fan for the past 40 years. I snorted it once in my life in fact, in my early 20s maybe, but gave that up lickety split. On the other hand, I do love to drink it. Diet Coke has been my chemical of choice and about 5 years ago I became a devoted fan of the CAFFEINE FREE Diet Coke. Now, they are FORCING me to switch teams and move on over to Diet Pepsi. Thank God I still get THAT sans caffeine.

Granted I COULD go to some other grocery store and get the Diet Coke but what a hassle that would be. It's enough I even get to my closest grocer as is. Drive an extra 9 minutes out of my way?? So not happening. Besides...

How else could I have possibly seen the guy in the parking lot who could barely stand, walking with his walker VERY SLOWLY and hop right smack into his way beat up crappy looking truck... TO DRIVE OFF!! I couldn't believe my eyes. This old geezer can hardly walk, but he's able to operate a moving vehicle?? Almost borders on Al Pacino, playing the blind guy driving the Ferrari in Scent of a Woman. But whatever.

On the other hand, I WAS able to discover that this store sells lobster tails and some great looking prime rib roasts which I'll need for my out of town company next weekend. Who knew?? I'd definitely trade in the caffeine free for THOSE goodies in a heart beat.

Saturday, November 10, 2012


I so love poetic justice. Kinda like: getting what one deserves. Which is funny, now that I think about it... given that just within the past couple of months, I have actually had a situation whereby this entire concept came into play perfectly for me. 

Unfortunately, I had a little personal soap opera going on for a while but lo and behold... what'd ya know. I not only came out of all the crapola, but came out on top too! Yippee. Thus I pretty much feel totally vindicated and happy that once again, poetic justice shone down upon me. Trust me... doesn't happen often enough, if you ask me 

In the meantime, forget about poetic justice. Tonight I'm talking it's counterpart, so to speak. As in: just desserts. LITERALLY. Because get this. I'm soon headed out to possibly my alltime favorite kind of party... DESSERTS ONLY!

Oh man... already my mouth is salivating just trying to imagine what will be on the serving tables. I can almost promise you that I will bypass the puny little vanilla cookies, should there be any, and move right smack over to the decadent chocolate cakes and brownies. And, cheesecake and lemon pie. And, God only knows what else. Mentally I'm almost daring the hostess to serve me something that will knock my freakin' socks right off.

I'm thinking that I'm supposed to have actually eaten dinner first, before I show up at this party. But sorry Charlie. The desserts are damn well going to BE my dinner. Kinda like: key lime pie can be my salad. Chocolate layer cake with butter cream icing can be my entree and oh, I don't know... maybe chocolate covered date nut squares can my veggie?? THEN for dessert... I should only BE so lucky as to find cherry cheesecake! A huge, way oversized, fancy schmancy cup cake perhaps??

I know... I know. The best part of the party SHOULD be enjoying all the other couple dozen guests and mingling and chit chatting with them. All of which I will in fact be doing... but for ME?? The main draw is definitely going to be: just the desserts. Now... if they happen to serve champagne along side all this?? WHOA. A NIGHT IN SHEER HEAVEN.

Indeed, I will miss the host and hostess who are returning to Florida for the winter. And, I'll be really thrilled when they return once again next Spring. But... for NOW?? All I can say is THANK YOU LINDA AND PERRY for this absolutely wonderful Good Bye Evening. Maybe upon your return you can consider a LobsterFest?? Now THAT would be sweet.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


Oh man... I can't even believe this. FINALLY. My 15 minutes of fame is apparently on the horizon! Well, okay. More like 15 seconds, but who's counting. Matters not for it's going to be great, regardless.

So last night, out of the blue I got an email from my plastic surgeon. Whom I love dearly and for whom I would do almost anything. So when he described his proposition to me, I WAS ON BOARD WITHIN A HEART BEAT. Get this...

Dr. Harley is going to do a couple of very brief interviews on our local TV station. I of course already told him they need to be way longer, but whatever. In the meantime, the first interview will be all about his Biltmore Lift procedure which basically takes crappy looking people like me and then recreates them into the most shockingly improved, almost very pretty faces you ever saw. I'm living proof, as you well know.

So... the proposition Dr. Harley had for me was: if he does the first interview by himself, would I be interested in doing the second interview WITH him?? OMG. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE MY REPLY?? SIGN ME UP. IMMEDIATELY!! This is soooo up my alley.

Apparently I must be the most DRASTICALLY improved face in his practice, for believe me... there are zillions of other people he could have considered. However, Dr. Harley felt I would fit the bill just fine since he finds my personality just the right fit for TV. Let alone for promoting his genius like work. Which believe me, I shall do with sheer PLEASURE. I've raved about this guy ever since my very first consultation.

Anyway... all I know is that a week from Friday, I shall join him at the TV station, sit down and give a three minute interview reiterating all my accolades of the doctor and his procedure... from the patient's point of view. Which I figure should be pretty easy. I'll merely look into the camera, put on a smile and simply say:


I'm pretty psyched about all this, I must say. I'll probably need heavy meds to calm my nerves, but who cares. I'm with a doctor! Who by the way, I can only pray doesn't hog my air time. HE can be on TV any damn time he wants. I on the other hand, get only a one shot deal.

Besides, I have yet to see my face plastered on every billboard in the city, so I can't really count on THAT venue for my becoming famous. Instead, I'll have to depend upon my local TV station to do the trick. And, yes... I've notified every human being I've ever spoken to, to be on the lookout for this infamous interview. What a life, huh??


So today I was pretty busy. Busy doing something I have been wanting to do for for over two years. As in: Go through my closet. Particularly... go through my black pants and my solid black tops, to weed out the undesirables, so to speak. Thus making things way less cramped.

For years... I have basically color coded my entire closet. Which by the way... I should also mention was one of three main reasons I bought my house in the first place. For the first time in many years, I now have a closet that actually fits all my clothing, which I will admit... is a wardrobe that could easily clothe at least 5 women beautifully. THUS I WAS THRILLED WHEN I SAW THE CLOSET SIZE. It measures 14 feet long and 6 feet wide. You'd think it would be large enough to house all my clothing, right?? Yeah... well guess what... NOT NECESSARILY.

There is about 12 feet of double rods on each side of the closet, double shelving above each rod, about 4 feet of shelving behind the door and then... I had additional shelving built, up against the back wall. Don't even ask.

Yet in spite of this wonderful space just how long you think it took me to fill it with all my clothes, accessories, shoes, handbags, hats, jewelry, nightgowns, etc. etc.?? And, that's not even counting my COATS which I keep in the hall closet. Oh man... I'm totally out of my mind. BUT... I'm also well dressed. So go figure. In the meantime, I have combed through the closet several times in the past six years, TRYing to shed all the unneeded apparel.

Lotta good that did me. BUT TODAY... today's task was to go through the 53 black tops I have. I already went through the 34 pairs of black pants. Unfortunately, when all that was said and done... I was able to discard only about 4. The tops on the other hand... whole other story. 

I LOVE MY BLACK TOPS. You can see them up above, all hanging on a garment rack which I rolled into my bedroom so I could REALLY carefully consider each. STAY OR GO?? I was able to get rid of about 15 tops, maybe. AND THESE aren't even the 10 black tunic tops I have hanging on the other side of the closet!! Nor does this include the 15 black PRINT tops I have, either. ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE IN MY CLOSET. So... back to my original question: IS THIS NORMAL???

Don't answer. I already know. F*$# NO THIS ISN'T NORMAL.

But, it does make it pretty easy to dress for any occasion and to pull an outfit together 1-2-3. And to look pretty damn decent every time I walk out the door. Thank GOD my mother isn't here to see this.

Mainly because these shirts in the picture above are only the BLACK ONES. Doesn't even account for the WHITES, REDS, PINKS, BLUES, YELLOWS, GREENS, and BROWNS... all of which are next in the color coded line of hangers. Oh man... I am soooo outta my mind. I know... it's major crazy ass... but I can't help it. I'm almost sure my Mother would tell me I'm way over the edge in terms of a needed wardrobe. My explanation however would be:

But Mom... I need light weight, heavy weight, dressy, casual, fancy fabric, everyday fabric, long sleeved, 3/4 length sleeve, round neck, vee neck, waist length, hip length... you name it, I need it. And uh... apparently I've got it.

So yippee. I AM making headway. Sorta. Which now only means: in a few weeks from now, I better then go through the OTHER two closets I have in the other bedrooms. Man... I SO have got to get these surplus garments to a woman's shelter lickety split. Or... buy a new house. Talk about separation anxiety.