MUSICAL HEAVEN

I can't even tell you what the last two hours have been like for me. Other than it's been sheer ecstasy. And yes... even withOUT doing the deed. You won't even believe this.

I got all my chores done for the evening, prepping for the week ahead. Doing laundry, doing some tailoring, showering, eating, filling in my weekly calendar, etc. etc. Then... I sat down at the computer, going through my Bookmarks Manager and I found a whole bunch of songs that I love on YouTube. Bingo. I just sat here, listening to hordes of songs that simply devoured me.

I started out with IF YOU LEAVE by OMD. Then I moved into YOU NEVER CRY LIKE A LOVER by the Eagles. Then I wandered into Elvis singing AMAZING GRACE which naturally led me to Judy Collins singing the same song. Then somehow I got to the Pointer Sisters singing JUMP, clicking on all kinds of different musical videos again and again, having THE time of my life. THEN somehow I moved right into Bette Midler singing THE ROSE, doing a duet with my alltime favorite, Wynonna Judd. It was then that the REAL pleasure began. Yes... I was loving every second of all the songs I heard.... but when I got to Wynonna, my heart started pounding.

Because I got to the video where Wynonna was singing THE song of my heart, NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twN-gnrh4jA&list=RDtwN-gnrh4jA#t=13 

I was nothing short of mesmerized. I stared at my screen, astounded at the power of this voice I was hearing. I had the volume blasting and I was like THERE with Wynonna, feeling exACTly what her words and performance were trying to invoke in me. I was totally in my fucking GLORY. I swear to God. I watched this video at least 4 times in a row, until I got my absolute fill. But... as if THAT wasn't enough...

The next thing I know boom! YouTube automatically begins playing Wynonna singing my REAL alltime favorite... hands down... YOU'RE SIMPLY THE BEST. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h85XE04u33I

Oh. My. God. Soooo fucking great. I so thought I died and went to heaven. Which I decided would be a fanTAStic way to go out... hearing these two songs as I'm taking my very last breath. DEAR GOD... PLEASE LET SOMEONE PLAY THESE TWO SONGS TO ME OVER AND OVER WHEN I'M JUST ABOUT TO KICK THE BUCKET SO I CAN GO OUT IN ROUSING BLISS. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN. In fact, they can begin playing it to me a day ahead. Anyway... 

Now... don't get me wrong. NO one sings this song like Tina, but Wynonna's rendition is by far the best second runner up. I can't even explain what all this does to my soul. All I know is that as soon as I watched these two renditions, I had to watch every OTHER rendition of someone singing Simply The Best, that I could possibly see on YouTube. Meaning that in the end, I bet I heard SIMPLY THE BEST about 10 times straight in a row. Now I've got say...

I've had some really really wonderful evenings lately but you can be SURE nothing has sparked me the way tonight did, merely sitting at the computer, all by myself, listening to some of the best music on earth. It WAS simply the best. My racing heart has hardly come back to normal, even yet. What joy I had watching all these. 

The funny thing is that not once did I watch Elton John or Billy Joel which is pretty unusual. I always said that Elton and Tina are my favorites and they pretty much are. EXCEPT... I also have to say that I'm afraid Tina takes first place and Elton is second, but... Wynonna definitely shares a position with each of them.  


So basically, okay Downtown Abbey. F.Y. for having only one more season left to go. On the other hand, however... on Sunday nights I'll totally be thrilled to watch fantastic rock and roll videos on YouTube instead... and therefore only minimally miss you. In fact, I'll be thrilled to watch these videos ANY night of the week. They take me to a musical place that thrills my stupid ass musical soul beyond belief.   

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME

I know. I write a lot about me. On the other hand, given the title of this blog, if you're not interested in learning about me, then why in the hell are you reading this blog in the first place? For I promise... it will serve you no good, whatsoever. Of course I can't imagine who WOULDN'T want to read all about me, but to each his own. In the meantime...

I downloaded this great new app onto my iPad. I totally love it because I can take any picture of myself and create a whole different look than that in the photo. Trust me... I can spend hours playing with this sort of app. You name the options, I've played around with it. Tonight I was watching the news, playing around with the app and boom. I created two new pictures of myself. I totally love them.

Considering I am on a new quest to replace the bullshit LeRoy Neiman looking picture of me hanging in my family room, I'm thinking I've hit upon something here. The old picture is maybe 3'x4' thus I can also blow up one of these new creations as well and bingo. Replacement problem solved. Granted... it sounds a bit vain but in the meantime every grand mansion I've ever seen has a painting of the miss and/or mistress of the house hanging front and center. Enter: Me. True... I don't live in a grand mansion, but why get bogged down with minor details.

I have always loved photography ever since I took a class at the Museum of Art when I was about 28. Don't ask. Back then I took pictures of anything and everything. I even won a couple of stupid awards. I learned how to develop my photos in a darkroom, too. Then as cameras became way easier, I eventually wound up adoring my point and shoot digital one. I carry mine in my purse every day of my life, exactly as I do my wallet. I can't tell you how many times I've seen something I wanted to capture, grabbed the camera from my purse, pointed and whammo. I shot a snapshot.

In fact, I'm so loyal to my digital camera I almost never use my smart phone to take pictures. They totally suck if you ask me. My iPad on the other hand, does take pretty good pictures, I have to admit. Which is the camera that was apparently used to take the original shot of these photos. The original is up above.

Down below however, are the two I created while playing with my new app. Aren't they great?? I mean seriously... had I paid a well known artist to paint and/or sketch me, I would have laid out plenty of bucks. But for about $2.99 I could do the job myself! I'm totally tickled pink. Oh... and get this...

The last picture here?? THIS is my favorite! It shows what I'll look like when I'm like 80. I have no clue whether or not I'll even be LIVing when in my 80s which make this even better. For then you can pretend I am in fact still kicking and know almost exactly what I look like! Sheer genius if you ask me. In fact... I'll bet this app is what the police use to help the public find a missing child, who hasn't been seen in 10 years, let's say. Talk about artistic help for a major lead, right? Okay...

So if you wish, everyone can send email to me and let me know their choice for which picture I should use in my family room. Of course I won't necessarily listen to you, but what the hell. Advice, I don't really need. But on the other hand... opinions are good.

SPEAKING OF HOTELS...

For the past three weeks, on Sunday nights, I have sat mesmerized at my television, watching THE most fantastic PBS series ever. Well... not counting Downton Abbey maybe, or Selfridges or Call the Midwife. But I will say this... even though I adore all of the above, none of those shows even come close to how CLARIDGES makes me feel. While watching this, I swear to God... my heart pounds with excitement and imagination for a full hour, not to mention with the sheer fantasy of  wanting to be back there once again.

For in fact, I have stayed at this London hotel... while on a two month tour of Europe when I was 17 years old. The only glitch was, that back then I had no clue whatsoever what total splendor was all around me. What a  fucking idiot I must have been. Ahhh... the innocence of youth. In the meantime, watching this series makes my heart beat 140 times a minute, I'll bet. My mouth waters at the stately magnificence of the hotel, let alone the service one receives while there.

So I made a decision while watching the show tonight. I decided that as soon as I get some sort of really horrible medical news that I've got a really horrible, life threatening disease, no matter how long I have yet to live... I'M BOOKING A ROOM IN CLARIDGES IMMEDIATELY FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS. No matter the cost. Which might be monumental, but I don't even care. In fact, if I just plain die there, I'd be totally thrilled to kick the bucket not only in England, but certainly in this hotel. And... if I do live, then the memories alone will help me to eventually go out with a delighted smile on my face. 

Well unless I just say to hell with the flight to Heathrow airport and use those monies instead, for booking a room at the Ritz Carlton in New York, let's say. Or The Plaza. Or the Trump Hotel. Or ANY five star hotel. Hell... I'll even be thrilled with the St. Regis Bal Harbour Resort in Miami, which btw, has a minimum cost of $800 per night. My real mission here, being not only palatial elegance but unequalled service as well. As in: being treated like a Princess. Wait. Let's make that: Queen. Seriously... who needs Hospice with me at the very end when instead I can have a lavish room and sensational guest staff at my beside instead?  

I can't even IMAGINE what it must be like to be waited on hand and foot. To have hotel personnel servicing me, attending to my every wish and/or desire. But while I can't imagine it, you can totally bet your sweet ass, I certainly want to try. Trust me... I bet I take to all of it like a fish takes to water. Which goes to show yet again, what an idiot I am given I have also stayed at the other most elegant hotel in London: The Dorchester.

It was on another trip to Europe several years later, that I stayed there. And again the sheer grandeur and refined service just flew over my head. I HAD to have been impressed, I'm sure. But... I am also pretty sure my impressiveness was way way below what it actually should have been. Both these hotels deserved far more accolades than I have since spoken. It's like: EVERY conversation I have had since those trips should include my raving about it constantly. Yet alas... I don't even reMEMber the last time I've alluded to these hotels. Yeah. Well guess what. That's all in the past my friend. Because from now on...

I'm going to work these two hotels into whatever I speaking about, no matter what! OH. YOU LOVE YOUR LONDON FOG? HMMM... THAT REMINDS ME OF MY VISIT TO CLARIDGES AND THE DORCHESTER HOTEL IN LONDON. WAS MAYBE THE MOST FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. That sort of thing. Finally... these two hotels will get the late justice they so surely merit. 


Which only means: I'm kinda thinking that maybe I should soon begin a quest of the finest hotels between me and New York immediately. Now THIS is a project I could learn to love. Plus, THIS time I shall DEFintely be mindful of all that is about me, soaking up every inch of indulgence and assistance with delight and appreciation. Only the stupidity of being a young adult could have kept me from doing so originally. All I can say is: fuck Marriot and Hilton. I WANT WHITE GLOVE SERVICE AND PLENTY OF IT! If only. 

MR. LAS VEGAS

Years and years ago I went to Las Vegas. Way before Seigfield and Roy. Way before the Wynn Hotel. And way before the implosion of the Desert Inn or the Sands. Turns out this was a city that was pretty much up my alley. A lot of glamour. A lot of glitz. A lot of celebrities. And a lot of comfort. As in: my hotel and room. I was at the MGM Grand, which at that time was THE place to stay. Oh man... did I ever love what I felt to be the sheer opulence of this place. Not to mention the food and amenities. This kind of hotel was then, and is now, just the sort of luxury I so adore.

I don't remember a lot of what we did while there, but a few things do stand out in my mind. I ate up the room service but good. No pun intended. I loved the day trip we took to the local ski resort. The gambling was fun too, however I didn't do a lot of it given I hate taking huge risks with throwing money around only to possibly lose it. And I totally loved the entertainment. Which brings me to my reason for writing today.

I remember two shows that I particularly loved seeing while in Las Vegas. One was Paul Anka. Both he and I were way younger then, so the two of us looked pretty damn good at the time. His show was amazing and thankfully, he sang every damn song to which I knew every word. Seriously. It was simply worth every penny we spent on it. 

I also remember going to see a show starring the one and only: Mr. Las Vegas. Better known as:

 I know. I decided I didn't even need to tell you his name since I am hoping you'd have known who I meant right off the bat, the minute I said Mr. Las Vegas. Without actually needing to say: Wayne Newton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Even back then it was kinda weird being in the audience with a huge amount of oldie goldie ladies drooling all over Wayne, but I guess we figured what the hell. The entire world talked about his show, so when in Rome, do as the Romans. Meaning: we went. We saw. We conquered.

And let me just tell you... the show was breath taking beyond belief. Had it been Elton John, Tina Turner or Elvis Presley... all of whom btw, have performed in Vegas, too... I couldn't have loved it more. It was so damn electrifying, you can't imagine. In the meantime, I do have to say that Wayne looked pretty much like his picture up there. Maybe 15 years older but still, pretty much like that. Which brings me to what shocked the shit out me yesterday. Have you SEEN this guy recently?? I am so telling you... were you sitting next to him in an airplane, which of course you can't given he only flies on his private jet, you would never ever recognize him. Seriously. You wouldn't. How do I know this??

Because yesterday, when I saw what he looks like now, I had NO CLUE WHATSOEVER who the hell the guy was. Ready to check him out in 2015?? Sitting down? Get a load of this:

Really?? This is you, Wayne? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? What the hell did you DO to yourself, anyway?? You're a John Kerry wannabe?? Because really. John is the only other guy I know who totally went overboard with his plastic surgery. Well except Michael Jackson, I guess. But YOU, WAYNE, HAVE OUTDONE THEM BY FAR. It's totally borderline FREAKY!! Whoa... even the eyebrows aren't even close to what they used to be. Okay. Look...

I know zillions of people who have had their eyes and/or faces nipped and/or tucked. Myself included. BUT THIS?? Not a one of us have ever turned into a completely different person like Wayne has. Jesus. It's as if I had my own face lift but boom. I went in with my normal face and came out looking like Marilyn Monroe or Catherine Deneuve. Holy f-ing smokes. Talk about no resemblance to my original self whatsoever!  


Which is why I just have to say... man oh man, Wayne. You have gone WAY overboard and turned yourself into one hell of a bizarre looking guy. Why you look so damn happy in the after shot I can't even imagine. Plus... how much you paid for this transformation, I have no idea. But I do know this: you so overpaid. 

Either get your money back or sue the doctor. Just saying. 

RETIRED FOR THE SEASON

What can I say. All good things must come to an end. Damnit. 

In this case however, it's not something just plain good. It's simply something amazingly magnificent. Well wait... to be really really accurate... it's a magnificent thing that is not necessarily ending; it's merely RETIRING. Big difference. But still... believe you me, I am soooo sad to see it go into hiding. In the meantime, just what IS it that's going away for a bit? Something that I've worn almost every single day since last Thanksgiving. 

IT IS MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSION! MY ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND OH SO UTILITARIAN WINTER COAT WHICH HAS KEPT ME WARM FOR THE PAST FOUR MONTHS! AS IN: MY STUNNING FLOOR LENGTH MINK COAT!

Oh... how I love this winter coat, I can't even tell you. AND... if ever there was a winter when I needed it, THIS winter was it! SOOOO DAMN COLD, IT WAS CRAZY. Days and days and days of temps, probably averaging just about 32 degrees. Granted, many days/nights were way below that but some days/nights were a little above that, too.

Actually I sort of made up a rule, btw. Below 45: Boom. Definitely wearing it. Above 45: be careful about wearing it, so I don't look like an idiot. Thankfully... I got to wear this pretty much every day. Yippee. Yippee.

The best part of the coat is that it was totally gifted to me. I can't beLIEVE how lucky I am! You feel nothing short of an empress whenever wearing it. Just the sort of feeling I'm definitely into I might add. So... okay, yes. Animals lovers may want to shoot me on the spot. Europeans may want to spray paint the coat should they pass by me. The only trouble is: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. Afterall, it wasn't me who did the animal in. I merely got the... ahem... spoils of the shoot, shall we say. And am I ever glad I did. Because basically...

THIS IS BY FAR THE WARMEST WINTER COAT I'VE EVER WORN. Forget about how luxurious you feel when you put it on. It totally does the job you need it to do. IT KEEPS THE LITERALLY BONE CHILLING TEMPS FROM MAKING YOU FREEZE TO DEATH. Which by the way is good, since I get cold but FAST in the winter. I also get HEATED but fast in the summer, but alas, my days of wearing a two piece bathing suit are way over. But, whatever. 

In the meantime it is with deep appreciation to this coat that I retire it until next winter. It did it's job for me like a f'ing pro. Let alone being the most beautiful piece of outer wear I've ever owned. People stopped me to admire the coat constantly when I was out and about although I do believe it's the length that makes as much of an impact as the beauty of the design and the fur. I sometimes almost felt I needed to apologize for wearing it but I got over THAT crap lickety split. Especially whenever it was like 22 degrees outside. OH? YOU'RE COLD?? SO SORRY TO HEAR IT. NOT ME, THANKS. AM FEELING PERFECTLY TOASTY IF I SAY SO MYSELF.

Anyway... thank you stunning mink coat for doing your job these past few months. I adored every single second of wearing you. Well, except for when I had to store it while in a restaurant or something. I would NEVER have checked it given it's worth a pretty penny and there is no way I was going to let it out of my sight and have some idiot traipsing away with it. I so look forward to next December when we get to meet yet again. Until then, believe you me... I'll take major good care of it, hanging it in one of my closets, til I get to don it once again. With total pleasure I might add. 

DEAR GOD. PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE ANY TIME SOON, SO THAT I GET TO ENJOY YET ANOTHER SEASON OF ADORING THIS MAGNIFICIENT COAT. THANK YOU GOD. AND OH YEAH... THANK YOU DEANNA AND MARSHALL. AMEN. 

I MUST BE PREGNANT

I swear to God... you'd think I was pregnant or something. I have had such ridiculous cravings in the past year, you wouldn't believe it. Way stronger than when I actually WAS pregnant. Way back then, I couldn't get enough of Pillsbury white cake mix, white Idaho baked potatoes, and the infamous garlic shrimp at my alltime favorite Vietnamese restaurant.

This past year however, my cravings are way crazier. Not to mention, way pricier. About a year ago, I had had it with salmon and chicken and went on a crazy ass streak of wanting nothing but beef... for about four months straight no less. ANYthing beef. From thin sliced crappy salami to a scrumptious standing rib roast. Then after that craze, I spent about another four months wanting nothing but tilapia fish fillets. With an added addiction of frozen corn, I might add. 

NOW however, I can't seem to get enough of... tada... the big fat sea scallops that I normally order only at fine restaurants. Like the kind I get at the country club which could may well be the best scallops I ever tasted in the whole wide world.

Until that is... I learned how to make these delicious scallops MYSELF. Just like they do! Bingo. I'm in scallop heaven. Thank you Stephanie, btw, for going to the kitchen to find out about the recipe.

So by now... I'm a bona fide sautéed scallop addict for SURE. My cravings are almost... but not quite... at the point of being satiated. No wonder. I no longer have to limit my intake to the five or six scallops each serving may give me when I dine out. NOW, when making them at home, I can eat about 18 with absolutely no problem whatsoever! Which basically means: even preparing them at home, they are still costing at least $25 per meal. 

It also means that after each meal I am STUFFED TO THE FRIGGIN' GILLS. But I don't care. They are sooooo worth it. AND... I've been making them at LEAST 3 times a week. Oh man. This is so outta control, it's nuts. Oh yeah... I also love that whenever scallops are left over, I can then store them in the refrigerator and whammo. I can then pop several into my mouth any time day or night for a mighty tasty snack. TOTALLY DELICIOUS.

In fact, just tonight I made two pounds of scallops. Uh... yes, I do have some leftover, but trust me... not all that much, and even those aren't long for this world given they will probably make a perfectly fine snack in about a half hour. Naturally, I figure my cholesterol is probably right smack through the roof or something but I could care less. Scallops have mercury?? If so, I don't care about that either. My priority here is definitely to: feed the need. And my cravings have totally taken over the need.

By the way... tonight's meal was exceptionally excellent since I decided to kick it up notch by deglazing the sauté pan with a mixture of white wine and some mango preserves sauce I was given for Christmas. After the deglazing and thickening, I then poured the mixture over the scallops. Don't even ask. I thought I died and went to heaven. Next time I might even add some squeezed lemon for a sweet/tart sort of taste. Which simply means: this recipe is SO on my list of what to cook for my next dinner party for six. Which will totally cost a zillion dollars, but who the heck is counting. The taste tonight was just too damn outSTANDING. To hell with salmon from now on. And fish fillets. These scallops surpass that bullshit EASILY.

Granted... whenever I make scallops for two of us let's say, I have to also make salad and a veggie. Afterall, I haven't comPLETEly lost my ability of being a good hostess. But if it's just for me alone, Boom. I bypass those other fillers lickety split and make the entire meal just scallops. As in: the first four can be my salad. The next four can my vegetable. The next two can be my bread. And the last four can be my actual entree. All in all... what can be bad?

Well... I guess my addiction to scallops can be bad. But it so doesn't matter. For the moment, this particular fixation is bringing me the greatest delight, ever. Today I was even trying to figure out eeks... like how long can this scallop deal possibly last?? I'm thinking a pretty long time, actually. But then the bigger question actually becomes: what will my NEXT obsessive craving be? I've sort of already gone through the fish, fowl, and beef period. I've even gone through the desserts phase. And I'm happily over the pre bedtime two navel oranges a night stage. What's even LEFT?? 


Whatever it winds up being there is one thing I can guarantee you. It will NEVER be as delicious as my scallops. Nor as expensive. Well... maybe. Unless of course I find my addiction is due to pregnancy since I'll make billions, given it would be an out and out miracle of all time.