Man... time is marching on, alright. In a couple more days can
you beLIEVE I'm going to be 67 years old?? Whoa. I don't know whether to be
freaked or to be thrilled. I guess I should be thrilled. Better on this side of
the grass rather than under it, right?
The other day a friend of mine was over and took this picture you see of me up above there. Which I guess is as good a way as any to show what
67 looks like nowadays. Hence my conclusion: things could look worse. Way
worse.
Yet I do have to say that there are plenty of other people my
age who still look pretty damn good. I'm not implying that I myself am necessarily one of them, but on the other hand... I can hold my own pretty well,
I think. In other words... I'm totally not my Grandmother's 67. Actually I don't
even think she lived to be that old. Whatever. In the meantime...
Yippee for me. I think I'll make this shot my official Birthday
Portrait for 2015. It is what it is and besides. My sister always says that
today we look at ourselves in pictures that were just taken and go: ugh. However ten years from
now we'll probably look again at the very same pictures and wind up saying: Hey. Who knew we looked so
decent way back then? We could have been so way worse.
In closing... let me just say that while May is my birthday
guess what June is? NINE YEARS THAT I'VE WRITTEN THIS BLOG!! Holy ba holy.
Granted, nothing I think or say is of any importance whatsoever... but even I am
stunned that I had this much about which to write in the first place. Talk about time
flying when having fun. Oh yeah... and how cool is it that this was published at 5:19 p.m.??
Yay. It's May. Which means: yippee. It's my birthday month! I
totally love my birthday month and more importantly, I love my birthday. I also
love celebrating it with friends and even more... I love presents! Oh yeah...
and I REALLY love birthday cake and ice cream. All in all, my birthday is an
excellent event for me each and every year. Besides... who the hell even knows
just how many birthdays I may have left.
Which is why I like not only getting gifts from others, but in
case those gifts may suck, I always make sure to buy mySELF a present, too.
Kinda like: having a built in precaution to assure I get something outstanding.
This year I decided to buy some driving moccasins... exactly like the ones you
see in the picture up above. How much do I love the red color!! I adore each
time I wear them.
I saw these in the catalogue so I called my local Talbot's to
see if they had the red color in stock and naturally... no they didn't. So I had
to order them online which I did last week and yippee. They arrived here within
days and I'm am going to love them for summer wear. So much so, btw... that I
decided to go for broke and spend big bucks for them. Uh... regular cost:
$139.00. Luckily however... they didn't cost me nearly that much. For some
reason this Candy Apple Red pair were on sale for $109.00. Then... even better I
think I got some sort of a code discount PLUS I was able to use my birthday
discount that Talbot's sends me each year. Next thing I know... my wonderful new
red shoes come to a total of of about $65 which is a perfectly acceptable amount
to spend on myself for such a happy occasion.
The funny thing about this shoe is that I NEVER wear moccasins.
Ever. Girlie flats? All the time. Moccasins? Never. Until that is, last March
when I couldn't help myself and bought a pair of these driving shoes in blush pink. Totally beautiful.
And... they match my blush pink everyday pocketbook that I got last December.
I've been wanting a pale pink purse for years and whammo. I finally found one
that fits my requirements perfectly. Am thrilled, believe you me. Plus... I'm
almost thinking that I can wear these red and pink shoes in winter, too. Just
add a pair of spiffy socks and yippee. I'm off to the races. Granted... they
can't replace a much needed boot in the thick of winter but still. I should be
able to find plenty of days to wear this new look.
Don't get me wrong. I can never possibly give up all my favorite
flats. That's not even on my radar whatsoever. But I'm kinda looking forward to
breaking outside of my fashion box and going with these driving moccasins every
once in while. Totally comfortable, btw! Besides... red? An outstanding color
for so many outfits. And speaking of red...
I am utterly heartsick over the fact that Summer is here which
means: time to don my adored red framed glasses. The ones I loved wearing for
six months last year until it was way into Autumn. It was probably at the
beginning of November when I switched up my frames and went back to my tortoise
shell glasses only to find that guess what? I put on my regular glasses alright
but.... WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WITH THE RED ONES WHEN I PUT THEM AWAY?? The ones
I want to wear right smack NOW! I can not TELL you what sort of searching I've
done throughout my entire house, closets, clothing, drawers, cabinets over,
under, EVERYwhere only to realize: they are GONE! Forever. Kaput. Ain't never
coming back. And trust me...
I am sick over this loss. I mean... yes. They'll be found
ONE day alright, but... it will a day after which I am long gone and
when someone comes in, removes all my belongings and buys my house. I just can't
iMAGine where they are, but it's not for my not trying. After all, wouldn't they
look fantastic with my new red shoes??? DEAR GOD... I LOVE THE COLOR RED AND
WOULD BE FOREVER GRATEFUL IF YOU PLEASE BRING BACK MY RED
FRAMES LICKETY SPLIT. Thank you God. Amen.
OOPS. NEWSFLASH: THIS WAS WRITTEN EARLIER TODAY BEFORE A
SUSPENSION WITHOUT PAY WAS ANNOUNCED. And with that said:
I know that I'm in the minority but I can't help it. My take is
pretty much the way I raised my kid. You lied? Cheated? Stole? Boom. That's it.
You get punished. And... I also made pretty sure that the punishment fit the
crime. In addition... I figure this sort of credo goes for not only child
rearing but also for business, politics, relationships, etc.
Which is why I am so disgusted with sports heroes of today. In
particular... Tom Brady. I don't care what other people say... he totally knew
about the football inflation rules as well as the fact his Superbowl balls were
purposely deflated. Thus guess what. Tom Brady is not only lying but should
totally just be kicked out of the game forever. HE CHEATED. He cheated in the
most important game of the season, too. What's the big argument here? Who cares
how many bucks he brings to the game? Who cares what his record is? The guy
didn't play by the rules and the guy needs to be punished. REALLY punished. ITS
OKAY TO THROW ALL VALUES TO THE WIND, LET ALONE THROW THE GAME ALTOGETHER? IN
HIS OWN FAVOR NO LESS? I'm just so damn disgusted by all the lying and cheating
that this world today now finds so prevalent and yet sorta
acceptable.
You know Ray Rice? The guy who beat up his fiancé in the
elevator? Get this... she's still madly in love with him! WHAT? IS SHE OUTTA HER FREAKIN' MIND?? Violence is now an okay thing with women? Like just how low can one's
self esteem be that they find it necessary to decide a month after the
incident... YOU KNOW WHAT HONEY. I TOTALLY LOVE YOU AND WANT TO BE YOUR HAPPY
BRIDE FOREVER AND EVER. LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THE BLOOD OOZING FROM ME,
OKAY? BESIDES... YOU PROBABLY HAD A GOOD REASON TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Jesus. This just makes me sick.
Then of course there's Manny Pacquiao who kinda sorta forgot to
tell fight higher ups that uh... oh yeah. He had a sore shoulder or something
and oops. He forgot to mention it while zillions of fans were shelling out
zillions of dollars assuming he'd be in tip top shape to maybe beat
Mayweather. Well gee. Isn't that special. Thanks Manny for screwing lots of
fans. As for business and Congress... don't even get me started. I'd NEVER be
able to find enough time to get on soap box for THAT.
And btw... I've had many discussions with my kid lately about
the all the recent police brutality, too. I am sick and tired of the
mentality of the police force where it appears to be so okay to shoot black
men... armed or unarmed. My kid on the other hand often feels that: Hey... you
fuck with the police, don't be surprised if you run into major trouble with
their treatment of you. To me... treatment is one thing. DEATH IS TOTALLY
ANOTHER.
And in this vein... this crap of suspension with pay makes me want to
throw up. You fucking killed a guy with mere bullshit cause?? GET THE HELL OUT
OF THE POLICE FORCE THIS MINUTE. I don't care WHAT the reasoning was. And... I
don't believe the policemen for one minute whereby they were scared for their
lives. THEY'RE SIMPLY LYING. My take is: in the past few years they've got this
killer instinct no matter what, and they're going to let it play out with ease.
I submit... killer instincts are pretty much for the Navy Seals only. Not for your neighborhood
policemen.
I know, I know. Many will totally tell me I'm off my rocker, but
the fact is: I'm not. I'm merely so disheartened that today's society is filled
with such anger and hostility and lack of judgment, honesty and values. Our
country is going down the tubes but fast as is, but decent behavior and sensible
calm appear to have gotten down there decades ago. I mean seriously... STILL
we're dealing with rampant racism?? Has NO progress been made since the days of
George Wallace? Okay. Granted... SOME progress has surely been made but man.
Talk about a mere tip of the iceberg.
I have always been anti gun and I still am. I have always been
for the death penalty, too. I also hate that Congress has long ago decided
representing the interests of the lobbyists were more important than the
interests of their constituents. Oh yeah... and about this separation of church
and state business? WTF is with that?? Who cares what our Congressmen think
about rape and abortion unless it's in their own personal lives? Keep religion
out our laws! Same goes for gay marriages, too. Let consenting adults live and love legally, already. And as a byline: Congress should TOTALLY be
thrown out on their asses! Why? Simple reason: they have no interest nor any
clue in compromising whatsoever.
Yeah. Yeah. I know. I'm just an old lady writing a blog about
getting even older. On the other hand, I've had the pleasure to grow up during
the most prosperous age of our nation. I've seen so many wonderful things occur
during my lifetime but as I look around NOW... holy ba holy. It's all gone to
hell in a hand basket with no turning back, if you ask me. And... stop
breaking wholly reasonable laws regardless of what your position, how you earn
your money or where you pray. Most of all... stop lying and stop cheating
and stop resorting to violence. Oh yeah... and stop hating. So let me close with:
I admit... I'm no lily white. I've made plenty of decisions in my life with which you may not be thrilled. But then again... they never affected YOU. Thus... don't judge me and don't worry about me. I've lived a perfectly fine, decent life so far and as for those maybe iffy decisions? Sorry... but I'm thrilled I made each and every one of them, afterall.
Ever see those ladies getting makeovers at the cosmetic
counters? Or women who have the make up artist arrive two hours early for a
bride and her entire entourage? Or even the hostess of a snazzy event have the makeup done at her own house before a fabulous party? Trust me... these artists can take sadly plain women and
turn them into MAJOR makeovers. Well... okay. Not always necessarily starlet
like makeovers, but still... totally improved. Which is probably why Glamour
Shots was such a fantastic craze back in the 80s. It was way up my alley,
btw.
In the meantime, I so loved the other day, when I came across a
bunch of pictures about makeUNDERS. As in: some guy who decided to take movie
stars and re-create them as normal looking people. It was simply amazing!! I
couldn't stop laughing because I see people all the time, walking around
everywhere, begging the question: Jesus. Don't these people... women in
particular... ever look in the friggin mirror? Would it kill them to take five
minutes and apply some mascara, blush and lipstick? Or how about... get to a
hairdresser and figure out a style that's even HALF way becoming?? All I'm
saying is okay... we can't all be movie stars. I get that. But at least make
SOME effort.
Anyway, who cares. People can either make themselves as
attractive as possible or they can't. It's up to them. But regardless... you
totally have to check out the samples of makeunders, down below. They make me
chuckle but plenty! I think my favorite is Madonna and Paris Hilton. I could
name each of the stars for you, but 1.) I'm too lazy and 2.) you should
definitely be able to figure them for yourselves. Oh yeah... Scarlett Johansen
is pretty good, too.
Uh... not him. ME!
Granted, not many men love getting to that stage in life where
being totally erect is a bit of a challenge, if even feasible anymore. But me???
Uh... I am definitely into proper erect posture and take great pride in doing
so.
Which is too bad given that now, standing only semi erect is pretty much
where I am at this point in my recent crisis. Which yes is good, being that at
least I'm not bent over like a caveman anymore. But still... I am not completely
standing totally erect either, like most other homo sapiens roaming this planet.
I detest slouching, in both myself and in others. Unless of course they are
suffering from Lumbar Scoliosis, like me. In THEIR case, I empathize with great
sincerity.
In the next couple of days I have full faith I'll be returning
to standing straight once again, thank God. Even more importantly however is
that... lo and behold... the bone doctor actually knew what the hell he was talking about
when he told me that within five days the pain and torture I was experiencing
would subside considerably. Oh man... I had so little faith in THAT last Monday. Yet bingo. I'm no longer in major pain... merely constant mild ache.
In my thighs, my lower spine and part of my lower back. Last night I figured I
was headed into feeling depressed about all this afterall, but frankly I'm now thinking
MAYbe I can put that on the back burner for a little while yet.
Yippee.
BTW... you should have seen me watching Bill Maher Friday night.
So not attractive. It was the end of the day, so naturally the discomfort of my
lower back had gradually grown to a not so sweet crescendo. Therefore... I
retreated to my 40 year old remedy that I've used many times before, with great relief,
actually. I pulled up a dining room chair, faced it towards the TV, laid down on my wooden
family room floor, raised my knees so that my calves rested over the seat of the chair, thereby
alleviating pressure on my back and laid in that position for an hour. SOOO good in not
only numbing the entire lower back area but also in radiating the pain outwards
from the central point of discomfort. It's like a miracle procedure if you ask me. Anyway...
Once again I have to thank TV for airing not only Bill
Maher, but also Shark Tank AND Beyond Shark TanK. Totally delightful evening for alleviating pain and viewing television. THEN of course... I got the news the Duchess went into labor
and I was beyond psyched. Two and a half hours of labor, btw?? Whoever heard of
such a thing!! Talk about lucky.
In the meantime, there just may be some light at the end of this
tunnel, afterall. Although I still want to make an appointment at the Mayo
Clinic to get a REAL diagnosis of this debilitating deal. On the other hand...
per usual, I let little stand in the way of my favorite Sunday brunch at the
country club, and I definitely headed there today for feast and frolic.
Thankfully it was at noon so I totally was able to pull off the walking with
some degree of ability to once again become part of the homoerecti species.
Speaking of which... sorry, fellas... I now feel your pain.
