Saturday, May 16, 2015


Man... time is marching on, alright. In a couple more days can you beLIEVE I'm going to be 67 years old?? Whoa. I don't know whether to be freaked or to be thrilled. I guess I should be thrilled. Better on this side of the grass rather than under it, right?

The other day a friend of mine was over and took this picture you see of me up above there. Which I guess is as good a way as any to show what 67 looks like nowadays. Hence my conclusion: things could look worse. Way worse.

Yet I do have to say that there are plenty of other people my age who still look pretty damn good. I'm not implying that I myself am necessarily one of them, but on the other hand... I can hold my own pretty well, I think. In other words... I'm totally not my Grandmother's 67. Actually I don't even think she lived to be that old. Whatever. In the meantime...

Yippee for me. I think I'll make this shot my official Birthday Portrait for 2015. It is what it is and besides. My sister always says that today we look at ourselves in pictures that were just taken and go: ugh. However ten years from now we'll probably look again at the very same pictures and wind up saying: Hey. Who knew we looked so decent way back then? We could have been so way worse.

In closing... let me just say that while May is my birthday guess what June is? NINE YEARS THAT I'VE WRITTEN THIS BLOG!! Holy ba holy. Granted, nothing I think or say is of any importance whatsoever... but even I am stunned that I had this much about which to write in the first place. Talk about time flying when having fun. Oh yeah... and how cool is it that this was published at 5:19 p.m.??


Yay. It's May. Which means: yippee. It's  my birthday month! I totally love my birthday month and more importantly, I love my birthday. I also love celebrating it with friends and even more... I love presents! Oh yeah... and I REALLY love birthday cake and ice cream. All in all, my birthday is an excellent event for me each and every year. Besides... who the hell even knows just how many birthdays I may have left.

Which is why I like not only getting gifts from others, but in case those gifts may suck, I always make sure to  buy mySELF a present, too. Kinda like: having a built in precaution to assure I get something outstanding. This year I decided to buy some driving moccasins... exactly like the ones you see in the picture up above. How much do I love the red color!! I adore each time I wear them. 

I saw these in the catalogue so I called my local Talbot's to see if they had the red color in stock and naturally... no they didn't. So I had to order them online which I did last week and yippee. They arrived here within days and I'm am going to love them for summer wear. So much so, btw... that I decided to go for broke and spend big bucks for them. Uh... regular cost: $139.00. Luckily however... they didn't cost me nearly that much. For some reason this Candy Apple Red pair were on sale for $109.00. Then... even better I think I got some sort of a code discount PLUS I was able to use my birthday discount that Talbot's sends me each year. Next thing I know... my wonderful new red shoes come to a total of of about $65 which is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend on myself for such a happy occasion.

The funny thing about this shoe is that I NEVER wear moccasins. Ever. Girlie flats? All the time. Moccasins? Never. Until that is, last March when I couldn't help myself and bought a pair of these driving shoes in blush pink. Totally beautiful. And... they match my blush pink everyday pocketbook that I got last December. I've been wanting a pale pink purse for years and whammo. I finally found one that fits my requirements perfectly. Am thrilled, believe you me. Plus... I'm almost thinking that I can wear these red and pink shoes in winter, too. Just add a pair of spiffy socks and yippee. I'm off to the races. Granted... they can't replace a much needed boot in the thick of winter but still. I should be able to find plenty of days to wear this new look.

Don't get me wrong. I can never possibly give up all my favorite flats. That's not even on my radar whatsoever. But I'm kinda looking forward to breaking outside of my fashion box and going with these driving moccasins every once in while. Totally comfortable, btw! Besides... red? An outstanding color for so many outfits. And speaking of red...

I am utterly heartsick over the fact that Summer is here which means: time to don my adored red framed glasses. The ones I loved wearing for six months last year until it was way into Autumn. It was probably at the beginning of November when I switched up my frames and went back to my tortoise shell glasses only to find that guess what? I put on my regular glasses alright but.... WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WITH THE RED ONES WHEN I PUT THEM AWAY?? The ones I want to wear right smack NOW! I can not TELL you what sort of searching I've done throughout my entire house, closets, clothing, drawers, cabinets over, under, EVERYwhere only to realize: they are GONE! Forever. Kaput. Ain't never coming back. And trust me...

I am sick over this loss. I mean... yes. They'll be found ONE day alright, but... it will a day after which I am long gone and when someone comes in, removes all my belongings and buys my house. I just can't iMAGine where they are, but it's not for my not trying. After all, wouldn't they look fantastic with my new red shoes??? DEAR GOD... I LOVE THE COLOR RED AND WOULD BE FOREVER GRATEFUL IF YOU PLEASE BRING BACK MY RED FRAMES LICKETY SPLIT. Thank you God. Amen.

Monday, May 11, 2015



I know that I'm in the minority but I can't help it. My take is pretty much the way I raised my kid. You lied? Cheated? Stole? Boom. That's it. You get punished. And... I also made pretty sure that the punishment fit the crime. In addition... I figure this sort of credo goes for not only child rearing but also for business, politics, relationships, etc.

Which is why I am so disgusted with sports heroes of today. In particular... Tom Brady. I don't care what other people say... he totally knew about the football inflation rules as well as the fact his Superbowl balls were purposely deflated. Thus guess what. Tom Brady is not only lying but should totally just be kicked out of the game forever. HE CHEATED. He cheated in the most important game of the season, too. What's the big argument here? Who cares how many bucks he brings to the game? Who cares what his record is? The guy didn't play by the rules and the guy needs to be punished. REALLY punished. ITS OKAY TO THROW ALL VALUES TO THE WIND, LET ALONE THROW THE GAME ALTOGETHER? IN HIS OWN FAVOR NO LESS? I'm just so damn disgusted by all the lying and cheating that this world today now finds so prevalent and yet sorta acceptable.

You know Ray Rice? The guy who beat up his fiancĂ© in the elevator? Get this... she's still madly in love with him! WHAT? IS SHE OUTTA HER FREAKIN' MIND?? Violence is now an okay thing with women? Like just how low can one's self esteem be that they find it necessary to decide a month after the incident... YOU KNOW WHAT HONEY. I TOTALLY LOVE YOU AND WANT TO BE YOUR HAPPY BRIDE FOREVER AND EVER. LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THE BLOOD OOZING FROM ME, OKAY? BESIDES... YOU PROBABLY HAD A GOOD REASON TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Jesus. This just makes me sick.

Then of course there's Manny Pacquiao who kinda sorta forgot to tell fight higher ups that uh... oh yeah. He had a sore shoulder or something and oops. He forgot to mention it while zillions of fans were shelling out zillions of dollars assuming he'd be in tip top shape to maybe beat Mayweather. Well gee. Isn't that special. Thanks Manny for screwing lots of fans. As for business and Congress... don't even get me started. I'd NEVER be able to find enough time to get on soap box for THAT.

And btw... I've had many discussions with my kid lately about the all the recent police brutality, too. I am sick and tired of the mentality of the police force where it appears to be so okay to shoot black men... armed or unarmed. My kid on the other hand often feels that: Hey... you fuck with the police, don't be surprised if you run into major trouble with their treatment of you. To me... treatment is one thing. DEATH IS TOTALLY ANOTHER. 

And in this vein... this crap of suspension with pay makes me want to throw up. You fucking killed a guy with mere bullshit cause?? GET THE HELL OUT OF THE POLICE FORCE THIS MINUTE. I don't care WHAT the reasoning was. And... I don't believe the policemen for one minute whereby they were scared for their lives. THEY'RE SIMPLY LYING. My take is: in the past few years they've got this killer instinct no matter what, and they're going to let it play out with ease. I submit... killer instincts are pretty much for the Navy Seals only. Not for your neighborhood policemen.

I know, I know. Many will totally tell me I'm off my rocker, but the fact is: I'm not. I'm merely so disheartened that today's society is filled with such anger and hostility and lack of judgment, honesty and values. Our country is going down the tubes but fast as is, but decent behavior and sensible calm appear to have gotten down there decades ago. I mean seriously... STILL we're dealing with rampant racism?? Has NO progress been made since the days of George Wallace? Okay. Granted... SOME progress has surely been made but man. Talk about a mere tip of the iceberg. 

I have always been anti gun and I still am. I have always been for the death penalty, too. I also hate that Congress has long ago decided representing the interests of the lobbyists were more important than the interests of their constituents. Oh yeah... and about this separation of church and state business? WTF is with that?? Who cares what our Congressmen think about rape and abortion unless it's in their own personal lives? Keep religion out our laws! Same goes for gay marriages, too. Let consenting adults live and love legally, already. And as a byline: Congress should TOTALLY be thrown out on their asses! Why? Simple reason: they have no interest nor any clue in compromising whatsoever.

Yeah. Yeah. I know. I'm just an old lady writing a blog about getting even older. On the other hand, I've had the pleasure to grow up during the most prosperous age of our nation. I've seen so many wonderful things occur during my lifetime but as I look around NOW... holy ba holy. It's all gone to hell in a hand basket with no turning back, if you ask me. And... stop breaking wholly reasonable laws regardless of what your position, how you earn your money or where you pray. Most of all... stop lying and stop cheating and stop resorting to violence. Oh yeah... and stop hating. So let me close with: 

I admit... I'm no lily white. I've made plenty of decisions in my life with which you may not be thrilled. But then again... they never affected YOU. Thus... don't judge me and don't worry about me. I've lived a perfectly fine, decent  life so far and as for those maybe iffy decisions? Sorry... but I'm thrilled I made each and every one of them, afterall.  

Tuesday, May 5, 2015


Ever see those ladies getting makeovers at the cosmetic counters? Or women who have the make up artist arrive two hours early for a bride and her entire entourage? Or even the hostess of a snazzy event have the makeup done at her own house before a fabulous party? Trust me... these artists can take sadly plain women and turn them into MAJOR makeovers. Well... okay. Not always necessarily starlet like makeovers, but still...  totally improved. Which is probably why Glamour Shots was such a fantastic craze back in the 80s. It was way up my alley, btw.

In the meantime, I so loved the other day, when I came across a bunch of pictures about makeUNDERS. As in: some guy who decided to take movie stars and re-create them as normal looking people. It was simply amazing!! I couldn't stop laughing because I see people all the time, walking around everywhere, begging the question: Jesus. Don't these people... women in particular... ever look in the friggin mirror?  Would it kill them to take five minutes and apply some mascara, blush and lipstick? Or how about... get to a hairdresser and figure out a style that's even HALF way becoming?? All I'm saying is okay... we can't all be movie stars. I get that. But at least make SOME effort.

Anyway, who cares. People can either make themselves as attractive as possible or they can't. It's up to them. But regardless... you totally have to check out the samples of makeunders, down below. They make me chuckle but plenty! I think my favorite is Madonna and Paris Hilton. I could name each of the stars for you, but 1.) I'm too lazy and 2.) you should definitely be able to figure them for yourselves. Oh yeah... Scarlett Johansen is pretty good, too. 

Sunday, May 3, 2015


Uh... not him. ME!

Granted, not many men love getting to that stage in life where being totally erect is a bit of a challenge, if even feasible anymore. But me??? Uh... I am definitely into proper erect posture and take great pride in doing so. 

Which is too bad given that now, standing only semi erect is pretty much where I am at this point in my recent crisis. Which yes is good, being that at least I'm not bent over like a caveman anymore. But still... I am not completely standing totally erect either, like most other homo sapiens roaming this planet. I detest slouching, in both myself and in others. Unless of course they are suffering from Lumbar Scoliosis, like me. In THEIR case, I empathize with great sincerity.  

In the next couple of days I have full faith I'll be returning to standing straight once again, thank God. Even more importantly however is that... lo and behold... the bone doctor actually knew what the hell he was talking about when he told me that within five days the pain and torture I was experiencing would subside considerably. Oh man... I had so little faith in THAT last Monday. Yet bingo. I'm no longer in major pain... merely constant mild ache. In my thighs, my lower spine and part of my lower back. Last night I figured I was headed into feeling depressed about all this afterall, but frankly I'm now thinking MAYbe I can put that on the back burner for a little while yet. Yippee.

BTW... you should have seen me watching Bill Maher Friday night. So not attractive. It was the end of the day, so naturally the discomfort of my lower back had gradually grown to a not so sweet crescendo. Therefore... I retreated to my 40 year old remedy that I've used many times before, with great relief, actually. I pulled up a dining room chair, faced it towards the TV, laid down on my wooden family room floor, raised my knees so that my calves rested over the seat of the chair, thereby alleviating pressure on my back and laid in that position for an hour. SOOO good in not only numbing the entire lower back area but also in radiating the pain outwards from the central point of discomfort. It's like a miracle procedure if you ask me. Anyway...

Once again I have to thank TV for airing not only Bill Maher, but also Shark Tank AND Beyond Shark TanK. Totally delightful evening for alleviating pain and viewing television. THEN of course... I got the news the Duchess went into labor and I was beyond psyched. Two and a half hours of labor, btw?? Whoever heard of such a thing!! Talk about lucky.

In the meantime, there just may be some light at the end of this tunnel, afterall. Although I still want to make an appointment at the Mayo Clinic to get a REAL diagnosis of this debilitating deal. On the other hand... per usual, I let little stand in the way of my favorite Sunday brunch at the country club, and I definitely headed there today for feast and frolic. Thankfully it was at noon so I totally was able to pull off the walking with some degree of ability to once again become part of the homoerecti species. 

Speaking of which... sorry, fellas... I now feel your pain.