Sunday, May 3, 2015

SEMI ERECT


Uh... not him. ME!

Granted, not many men love getting to that stage in life where being totally erect is a bit of a challenge, if even feasible anymore. But me??? Uh... I am definitely into proper erect posture and take great pride in doing so. 

Which is too bad given that now, standing only semi erect is pretty much where I am at this point in my recent crisis. Which yes is good, being that at least I'm not bent over like a caveman anymore. But still... I am not completely standing totally erect either, like most other homo sapiens roaming this planet. I detest slouching, in both myself and in others. Unless of course they are suffering from Lumbar Scoliosis, like me. In THEIR case, I empathize with great sincerity.  

In the next couple of days I have full faith I'll be returning to standing straight once again, thank God. Even more importantly however is that... lo and behold... the bone doctor actually knew what the hell he was talking about when he told me that within five days the pain and torture I was experiencing would subside considerably. Oh man... I had so little faith in THAT last Monday. Yet bingo. I'm no longer in major pain... merely constant mild ache. In my thighs, my lower spine and part of my lower back. Last night I figured I was headed into feeling depressed about all this afterall, but frankly I'm now thinking MAYbe I can put that on the back burner for a little while yet. Yippee.

BTW... you should have seen me watching Bill Maher Friday night. So not attractive. It was the end of the day, so naturally the discomfort of my lower back had gradually grown to a not so sweet crescendo. Therefore... I retreated to my 40 year old remedy that I've used many times before, with great relief, actually. I pulled up a dining room chair, faced it towards the TV, laid down on my wooden family room floor, raised my knees so that my calves rested over the seat of the chair, thereby alleviating pressure on my back and laid in that position for an hour. SOOO good in not only numbing the entire lower back area but also in radiating the pain outwards from the central point of discomfort. It's like a miracle procedure if you ask me. Anyway...

Once again I have to thank TV for airing not only Bill Maher, but also Shark Tank AND Beyond Shark TanK. Totally delightful evening for alleviating pain and viewing television. THEN of course... I got the news the Duchess went into labor and I was beyond psyched. Two and a half hours of labor, btw?? Whoever heard of such a thing!! Talk about lucky.


In the meantime, there just may be some light at the end of this tunnel, afterall. Although I still want to make an appointment at the Mayo Clinic to get a REAL diagnosis of this debilitating deal. On the other hand... per usual, I let little stand in the way of my favorite Sunday brunch at the country club, and I definitely headed there today for feast and frolic. Thankfully it was at noon so I totally was able to pull off the walking with some degree of ability to once again become part of the homoerecti species. 

Speaking of which... sorry, fellas... I now feel your pain.

No comments:

Post a Comment