Monday, November 24, 2014

WINDOWS F U


Oh man... this new operating system on my computer is strictly for the birds. I can't do HALF the things I used to do on my old one. And if it CAN be done, it's not only hard as hell but it also makes you jump through all kinds of hoops to make it even happen. You have no CLUE how many times I've Googled Windows 7 in the past three days. I needed answers to ZILlions of questions of how to perform zillion of functions. Easy ones, too. I'm beginning to imagine Windows 7 totally blows.


Speaking of bitching... which in case you hadn't noticed, I am doing... this new keyboard ALso blows. The keys on it are DEFinitely more compact and for the first time in 20 years, I'm backspacing up the kazoo to correct typographical errors. Lest you forget, I am not only totally a touch typist... and a fast one, too... yet I'm now looking at the keys over and over again, like a major idiot. What the hell is going ON anyway? This is crazy!


But my REAL beef is with the bullshit I now need to go through to even find what I'm looking for. Case in point: I have played FreeCell for YEARS. And, I'm damned good at it, too. Yes, I sometimes loose, but I've had winning streaks like there was no tomorrow. MANY, MANY TIMES I might add. Which naturally is why I love the game so much. I even play it while on the phone, given usually lots of conversations can often times be borderline boring. And for SURE I'm playing it while waiting for customer service or tech support, etc. In the meantime... have any idea how long it took me to even FIND the damn game on this new computer? Don't ask. Totally had to Google it.


Anyway... so okay. I find FreeCell. I play the game. I even played 10 more since that first one. Sitting down?? I HAVEN'T WON A GAME YET!!! I'm like outta my mind, here. WTF is going on? I'm beginning to wonder if... when I first opened the program, I didn't set the play level at DIFFICULT. Which naturally I would have done, given I'm such a champ at it. DIFFICULT??? This new FreeCell is simply UN-WINNABLE. I mean it. It's nuts!! I even went back OFTEN to see if I can get back to MEDIUM or ANYthing regarding play levels, but there IS no level option. Which then means... Windows 7 decided on the level for us and IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN. Because trust me. If anyone could win, it SO would be me.


Yesterday I spent over an hour trying to find where all my photos from Picasa were stored and FINALLY I retrieved them. Thank God, btw! Which reminds me... I'm also plenty pissed that I now have to contact the  game companies from which I've downloaded a whole slew of games so they can please re-send my Play Codes so I can actually play the games once again. Don't ask. Jesus. What a crappy pain in the ass this new computer has been ever since I began using it.


On a brighter note... last night I didn't get to bed til maybe two in the morning. Why? Because I got so hooked into listening to music on my iTunes playlist and THEN on YouTube. I guess I've felt music deprived the past six months or something, because I was having the time of my life listening to a whole BUNCH of great songs. So basically... that sorta took my mind off learning this baloney operational system on this baloney keyboard. 

However I have no doubt I'll soon be right smack back to bitching yet again since just today I bought a new web cam and an external back up device. I shutter to even iMAGine what sort of funk THAT'LL put me in while trying to install it. Let alone use it. One saving grace though... YIPPEE. My kid will be here tomorrow! He totally should be able to lessen my techie woes. Man... thank God for small favors. And speaking of thanks...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE. I love that I have so many blog readers... I adore your email comments!... and I love that you get a kick out of reading this crap as much as I love writing it. Enjoy your holiday!


    

Saturday, November 22, 2014

AQUISITIONS

OH MY GAWWWD. I can't believe how God damn WHIPped my head is at the moment! It's spinning but plenty given I am presently holding more new information in my brain today, than I have held in maybe the past six months put together. And let me just tell you... it is NO easy feat by ANY stretch of the imagination! I have hordes of new data going on inside and it's wearing upon me but PLENTY. And further... it's totally taken over my entire life for the past three days. 

Now that's the bad news. The good news is: I am now the proud new owner of three of the most incredible items ever. Two of which require I re-learn and store ZILLIONS of new information. Hence the brain overload.

1. Okay. Let's start with this: Last Monday... just days after it's release... I hightailed my sweet little ass over to my local Verizon store to  buy a new Samsung Galaxy Note 4 phone. OMG. IT'S SO INCREDIBLE, YOU WON'T EVEN BELIEVE IT. First of all, the screen is HUGE so naturally it helps my poor little eyeballs to view the screen with no trouble whatsoever. HALLEF'INGLUJAH. Plus it gives me WAY more customization ability than the iPhone 6. Sorry, Apple; you lose. In the meantime I've been simply thrilled with this purchase and seriously everyone... I suggest you too, consider getting one. You won't be sorry. So check. I have the new phone. On the other hand...

HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY HOURS I'VE PUT INTO LEARNING ALL THE FANTASTIC FEATURES ON THIS NEW TECHIE TOY?? LET ALONE DOWNLOADING A BUNCH OF NEW APPS? Don't even ASK. Talk about being crazy ass. Uh... thank GOD for the Verizon Cloud. Regardless, all I know is that I spent three hours at the store purchasing the phone, came home, played with the features, wrote down about 20 questions, headed right smack BACK to the store the very next day and spent yet anOTHER two hours getting all my answers. I totally needed 56 hour days. The bottom line? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS NEW PHONE. Okay. Acquisition number one.




2. So next: Last weekend was THE coldest night of the year thus far. I mean COLD. And... I had to attend a birthday party at one of the hotels in Asheville so NATURALLY all of the guests had to wear their alltime warmest coat ever. As we were all leaving, grabbing our coats from the rack, I noticed Marshall's coat and went nuts. It wasn't the first time I've seen it but IMMEDIATLELY I told him and his wife: I, WITHOUT A DOUBT, AM CALLING DIBS ON THIS COAT! I ADORE IT! No wonder. Marshall was originally from Chicago and lo and behold what kind of coat does he have?  A FULL LENGTH MINK COAT FOR MEN THAT IS BY FAR THE MOST STUNNING THING I'VE EVER SEEN. Apparently my raving paid off because get this.

Two days later I got a phone call from Marshall's wife and what does she tell me?? Oh man... you better sit down for this. She tells me that she and Marshall spoke and decided that: given his previous wife, who passed away and had an equally stunning full length mink coat that has been sitting in the closet for seven years... maybe I'd like to come over, try it on and if it fits... take it!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I'd LOVE to have this BEAUTIFUL MINK COAT IN A HEARTBEAT! Lordy Lordy. WHAT AN INVITE is all I can say. I raced over the very next day... tried on the mink... FIT LIKE A GLOVE. Sooooo luxurious you can't even imagine! Which basically means: I AM a queen afterall!! It's so warm and so beautiful it takes my breath away. It also weighs about 15 pounds but who's counting. I am sooo praying that everyday until March is about 32 degrees. Bingo. I'M WEARING THE COAT. Uh... I mean... acquisition number two.

3. Turns out my desktop computer was way old... in fact there's no longer any support for Windows XP and it was totally time to upgrade. Which I did when Mitch came over last week and helped me to order a new one. YIPPEE. IT ARRIVED YESTERDAY. Which meant that today, Mitch came over, spent four hours setting up the new computer, migrating all my files to it, and then showing me how to actually use Windows 7. (he told me I would HATE Windows 8, so I'll just upgrade when 10 comes out next year or whenever) Uh... btw... I have NO clue  what the hell I am doing with this operating system. Everything is so different than what I'm used to on XP and for the life of me, I can't figure out zillions of things I need to know. Care to guess just how long my list of questions is NOW? Forget the new phone questions. THESE questions are doubled in length, for sure. I feel as if I'm back in DOS trying to learn Windows all over again and IT'S HARD. 

My poor brain is so f'ing taxed and I see no end in sight for at least the next month. As for my new keyboard, btw... I HATE IT. I think it's smaller than my other one and is also set up a little differently, so that alone is driving me nuts. I have never actually LOOKED at the keyboard as much as I'm doing today. As we speak, even. WTF? Where IS Print Screen, anyway?? But... maybe I'll get the hang of it in time. So basically... whammo. Acquisition number three!




I have to say however: since my Friday nights will never be the same for the next six weeks... Bill Maher is taking a holiday break... I guess I'll be devoting THAT time to practicing on my phone and on my computer. Of course then, for a cool down of sorts, I'll be heading to my iPad for a bunch of games on Words With Friends. After which, I'll be listening to my Kindle so I can peacefully fall asleep hearing a bunch of wonderful stories.  

All in hopes of course, of re-energizing my currently fried brain. DEAR GOD, PLEASE LET THIS PHONE AND COMPUTER LAST ME FOR EVER. EDUCATING ME ALL OVER YET AGAIN IS SOMETHING I SERIOUSLY DOUBT I CAN HANDLE EVER AGAIN. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

THE CATALYTIC WHAT??


I have no clue what a catalytic converter is... and I have no plans of learning about it, either. I DO know that it has something to do with my car engine and I DO know that an icon of sorts showed up on the dash display screen of my car. Which, come to find out, had to do with my engine emission system. Totally can't be a good thing.

And uh... it wasn't. I made an appointment with my car dealer, who I ALways use for my maintenance problems, and was told about the catalytic converter deal. Boom. It would need to be replaced. It was at that point that I told Steven... "Look... I don't care what the hell lie you have to tell the warranty people, just make sure it gets covered. Got it?" Got it. And then I left the car and headed out to lunch.

Except uh... Steven didn't get it. Turns out there is a little baby clause that states this particular part is no longer covered by the extended warranty. It WAS covered at one point, but  get this... on August 17th, the coverage for THIS part had expired. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SEVEN WEEKS AFTER THE EXPIRATION I HAVE TO COUGH UP $1100 FOR THE REPLACEMENT?? This so has to be a joke.

Except uh... it wasn't. I had to replace it, warranty or not. Which is why as soon as I returned from lunch I searched out Walter, my ever popular salesman, and told him my story. He then sat me down, gave me a pencil and paper and told me to write down exactly what he said to do. Which uh... turned out to be fantastic info.

First I should put the charges on my credit card. Then I should call the home office for the owner's service department. Then... when someone from India answered my call, I had to be sure I asked to be switched over to a representative here in America, who apparently has a much better understanding of what customer loyalty is all about. Okay. Check, check, check.

Then, I was to tell the American, Cheryl as it turned out, that I have been a loyal customer for 50 years, which I have been, that my dealer alone, has taken care of all the maintenance on my car, which they have and then see if Cheryl can in any way please help me by offsetting the cost somehow, given the warranty expiration bit of just a few weeks ago. Which they might. Check, check. Check, check.

So yesterday morning, I did exactly what Walter told me to do. Naturally, I first tried sweet talking Cheryl as much as I could and the next thing you know, bingo. She took down my VIN number, gave me a case number, said she would contact the powers that be, and while she could promise nothing, she was going to try to get me something called "customer consideration".  Walter had even prepped me to then ask who would contact me with the decision and when I might hear back from said contact. Boom. Cheryl and I have a phone date set for Wednesday at 4:00.

DEAR GOD: PLEASE LET CUSTOMER CONSIDERATION LISTEN TO CHERYL AND THEN KICK IN TO HELP DEFRAY SOME OF MY REPAIR COSTS. I WOULD TOTALLY LOVE THAT. AND OH YEAH... I PROMISE TO NEVER SPEED, WHICH AS YOU KNOW, I NEVER DO ANYWAY. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN.

Okay... so the bottom line is: until Wednesday I won't know whether or not I'm totally screwed for the entire $1100. I will say this however: if I am screwed, I am completely convinced that I did pretty much everything I could, especially given that Walter even called the warranty company for me. Which is when, btw, we found out about the Aug. 17th expiration. Anyway...

I am totally keeping my fingers crossed that I do get some financial consideration because this money layout is definitely cutting into my want of two other things: 1.) a new desktop and 2.) a new smartphone. Now I'm not saying it will comPLETEly cancel out my two other wants, but man... I would so like to save a few bucks SOMEwhere. On the other hand... my car has never caused me any problems whatsoever in the seven years I've had it. Thus, it's therefore cost me almost nothing in repairs.

So maybe I can't complain TOO much. Although I'm pretty good at bitching, I will admit. I seem to have the finesse of that... and worrying... pretty much down pat. I know. Yet two more of my very best talents.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

YESTERDAY VS. TODAY

Wow... what a surprise when I woke up today! And... just YESTERDAY I posted about autumn. Man... what a difference a day makes.