Saturday, August 24, 2013


How much do I love this picture of me? I can't even believe it... especially since SO many pictures of me totally suck. I think my biggest problem is that when I either look in the mirror or at a picture of myself, I am basically expecting and/or hoping to see Nicole Kidman's image staring back at me. Or maybe Gweneth Paltrow, even. Not only do I find these women to be nothing short of stunning but OMG... THOSE BODIES! I would kill for such looks.

In the meantime of course, I will never attain such standards of beauty so when I DO come across a picture of me that kinda resembles SOME sort of decency, I'm tickled pink. As with the picture of me up above. Granted it's nothing to rave about but what I like about it is that to me, it captures what I'm all about when I'm running around living my life. As in: happy to be spending some money. Happy to be wearing something nice and comfortable. Happy to know I didn't just quickly run out of the house looking major crappy, hoping I don't run into anyone.

On this particular day I was running around in Staples. Which is where I also ran into Harry... a friend of mine. He had just gotten a new camera and was thrilled to be able to grab a picture of me which btw, took three times before he had me centered correctly. Don't ask. Anyway, I stood there, smiled, and bingo. He snapped this shot. Then of course, he emailed the finished product to me later that day. I took one look at it and thought... WHOA. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SEE WHEN I LOOK INTO A MIRROR. Granted I'm not saying I'm THRILLED to be seeing this, but regardless... like it or not... I guess this is what I look like. Oh yeah... I suspect I'm smiling because I just found the exact sized Post-It Notes I was looking for.

In the meantime, I never leave the house without my own camera. Something Harry and I have in common, actually. I just never know what I'll see when I'm out and about and it would kill me if I saw something fantastic only to realize... Damnit. My camera's at home. Thus bingo. I always keep it in a side pocket of my purse. How else would I have been able to capture the shot of the horse drawn carriage that you normally only see Downtown, during evenings hours? On that particular night the carriage was traveling ON A RESIDENTIAL STREET THAT I TRAVEL ALL THE TIME! And... there were two love struck people in the carriage, too. I was stunned when I saw it about a month ago and I just HAD to take a picture of the event. Thinking I might even blog about it one day, btw. 

The funny thing is that almost no one uses a real camera anymore. They use their CELL PHONE instead! And it just kills me that some of the phones take pictures that are simply terrific. Not mine of course but whatever. Which is why I adore my digital camera. And basically never leave home without it.

On the other hand, I guess I COULD use my phone camera when in WalMart should I ever come across some of those beauties I happen to get in email. Seriously.... are those people GROSS or what? Frankly if you ask me... those people are just what you DON'T want to capture on film. Ever.  

Sunday, August 18, 2013


Ever wonder why I look so damn fit? So damn trim? So damn muscular? Well while you... and just about everyone else I know... find these questions pretty damn comical, given I am SO not trim, muscular, etc., I do have to say that whatever the hell sort of health I AM in, it's pretty much thanks to Ansley. For she is the one who owns WHOLE BODY FITNESS and for the past couple of years, I've been going to her for my core training classes. Granted, I do have much BETTER core fitness than I ever did before I began, but man oh man. You should SEE some her students. They are FIERCE in their workouts and the more pain they can possibly endure... the happier they are.

I on the other hand am totally the worst student at the gym AND in my particular class but I don't even care. Everyone else feels pain and bingo. They work even harder to push their limits. Me? I feel the pain and merely say: Uh... thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass on major aches and strain. I know. I'm such an asshole. But regardless...

As I was saying... my comical body toning is basically due to Ansley. Man is SHE ever one hell of a stunner. Plus... every muscle in her entire body is stoked to the hilt. It's enough to make you want to slit your wrists altogether. But whatever. In the meantime Ansley moved to a new location last April and we all totally love the new gym. Talk about ROOM. It's filled with all SORTS of training equipment and plenty of space for everyone to happily work out. And notice... I didn't say all sorts of machines. I said equipment. As in: items specifically made to make your BODY do all the work as opposed to steel mechanical contraptions doing the work out FOR you. Big difference for it's no easy feat, you can be sure. One hour of working out and plenty of times I need to come home and spend two hours recuperating.

Okay. So last Thursday I went to class and in this new roomy gym there now happens to be plenty of room for a workout clothing line of sorts. All kinds of stuff. Stuff that naturally I could never wear, but anyone else could.  And they actually do. I'm talking: skimpy! It turns out that over in the clothing section I recently happened to catch a glimpse of some Tshirts that were for sale. I took one look at them and whammo. I knew I had to buy one! WHAT A GREAT TAG LINE they had on the back. As in: 


Is that fantastic for a gym or WHAT? For trust me... many a time I've left sore as hell! In fact, when I first started... I took Advil BEFORE I left the house just so I'd be in minimal pain AFTER I returned. Anyway, I just love when people come up with THE most clever thoughts or sayings and when I saw Live Sore I flipped. Talk about being able to identify. So that's the Tshirt in the picture up above. I know. Grey. Totally UGH and so not what I'd have chosen, which naturally would have been white. But no one asked me, so I rolled with the punches. 

Now mind you... normally I would NEVER wear a Tshirt. ESPECIALLY with some sort of bullshit written on it. It reminds me of what a 10 year old would wear. In fact, according to the Linda School of High Style NO woman with a grey root in her hair should ever don such a shirt style, but that's just me.

Hence my current dilemma: when to ever actually WEAR this Tshirt. I'm thinking maybe bedtime is the only option but even then I would never wear it. I like pretty or silky or at the very least calf length and 3/4 length sleeve. Likewise... I can't wear this shirt out in public given there is no shape whatsoever and besides, as I said... I'm no longer 10. I CAN wear it however with some minor modifications perhaps. Maybe. Thus just to sort of practice, I took the shirt and gave it my own sort of flair in the hopes maybe I can at least wear this to core training class. Once, anyway.

Creating this modification required my getting a scissor. And then... required cutting. As in: cutting out the sleeves and doing away with the crew neck in favor of a V neck. At least NOW maybe I can wear it over my leggings and shirt... kinda like a tunic top type look. Wanna see what I came up with?? Check this out:


Granted... it's not much better looking, I know. And, I still have some fine tuning yet to do on the shoulders but at least maybe I can now walk out my door and not look TOTALLY crappy. The key word here is: maybe. I still haven't worn it yet and don't know if ever I will. On the other hand... were I too ever see this in pale pink, a soft aqua, or even black I'd have a much better chance of wearing this in broad daylight.  

In closing let me just say other tag lines I also love are: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?? Or: BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT, which by the way IS my mantra. And oh yeah: WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS. I must say by the way... one of the funniest tag lines I've ever heard was: Lick Me Til Ice Cream. LOLOL I still get a kick out that, even today.