See that picture up there? It’s what I feed Zebulon… my most adorable Havanese dog who frankly… is good enough to eat , no pun intended. Who knew he’d turn out to be the cutest animal on earth??
Next week he will be a year old and I am so telling you. He is like THE perfect dog. Well.. except on the days he is a bastard dog but that’s only because he’s now old enough to begin“marking” his territory around the house and it will totally be the death of me. But whatever…
Zebulon is so beautiful, so happy, so smart, has such soft fur and is lucky as shit to have such a comfy home in which to live. Let alone to have such a wonderful lady of the house to care for him. Uh… that would be me, btw. What I love best about Zebulon is that he is on a perfect sleep schedule whereby he will sleep in his crate until I wake up… about 10:00 a.m. let’s say. I mean, seriously. This is WAY better than when my own kid was a baby! Plus… whenever I nap, I make the annoucement TIME FOR A NAP and boom. He heads to his crate and naps too.
In the meantime… this dog enjoys THE best meals on the planet. I mean it. He totally eats better than I do. And… he gulps down his meals in seconds flat, given it is as close to gourmet as he’s ever going to get. I’m actually borderline jealous.
For the first 8 months of his life, Zebulon ate some brand or other of really healthy dry dog food. And, he was pretty much thriving. Then about several weeks ago, I happened to pick up a couple of packs of some connoction of wet dog food made by Rachel Rae who by the way… I should only be so lucky as to have her cook for ME rather than for Zebulon. The dog food she makes is like major cuisine and the first time he tasted her food line, Zebulon went nuts with delight! Plus, theres no soy, wheat, corn, etc. etc. thus is supposedly major healthy for him.
It took mere minutes for Zebulon to down his entire food bowl and I was SHOCKED at the excitement this animal felt over his new food. Talk about night and day. He went from really enjoying his meals to: OMG. I’M IN DEFINITE DOG HEAVEN WITH EACH AND EVERY BITE OF THIS NEW DOG FOOD THE LADY OF THE HOUSE IS SERVING ME!
As well he should be! When you open a package of Rachel’s dog food, you can actually SEE that it’s made from real people-like food. Case in point: last night was Rustic Duck night and I was this far from wanting to heat it up for mySELF Seriously… the duck, brown rice and peas looked amazingly scrupmtious. Way better than the stupid salad I was about to down. And oh yeah… I swear… Zebulon has definitely put on some pounds since beginning this cuisine! About 4 pounds I think and now I’m this far from putting him on a diet! Can you even imagine??
So the lineup basically is: chicken pot pie, beef stew, duck, lamb stew, and a couple of other fantastic choices. All have veggies in them, too. In each of the choices you see all real food and very little gravy thus you can tell right off the bat Zebulon is not being scammed by some company trying to put just a mouthful of beef in a boatload of gravy. I’m telling you… it’s real food! So basically… my dog’s life went from blessed to down right out of this world FABULOUS. Never once, btw, has he ever left a drop in his bowl.
I do have to also say… my sweet Zebulon is by far the most wonderful pet and I NEVER leave a pet store without buying him 4 new toys. I can’t help it. I see the displays and just KNOW he’d love chomping away on them. I even bought some cheapie outdoor play equipment for him, his favorite being this LONG nylon tunnel through which he loves to run a hundred mile per hour. It’s hilarious to watch. Anyway…
In closing, I readily admit I am filled with a huge amount of envy that my dog has a personal high profile chef making his meals and I DON’T! A chef is something I’ve always wanted, for sure. Well, that and a Lady in Waiting. I’m way into personal service and apparently so is Zebulon. His plate is always as clean as a whistle and basically so is mine. Except he’s eating gourmet and uh… I’m not.
It was over a year ago that I wrote about my unhappy discovery that I apparently shrunk in height. I was at the doctor’s and much to my chagrin they ALways make me get on the scale, afterwhich they then take my height measurement.
Yes, I had lost weight, but believe me, that did nothing to make me smile about my height being an inch shorter. I remember well how I was TOTally freaked that day. Talk about getting old but FAST. It definitely startled my psyche, proving once again I’m a bona fide senior citizen. EEEKS.
Well guess what. IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
Only this time, it occured while I was in the shoe department of Stein Mart. And… I was as heartsick upon my discovery as I was during the original height discovery. Man. My years are SO so numbered. Regardlless…
There I was, happily browsing Stein Mart, finally making my way to the shoe department. I had to. They were having a sale whereby you could buy one pair of shoes and get 50% off any other pair; an offer I usually don’t fall for, btw. I find it retail offensive given they are basically trying to scam you into spending even more money than you really intended. But whatever.
Turns out this time however, I really DID find two pairs of shoes I wanted so basically, it wound up being a good thing afterall. What wasn’t so good was…
In both cases I selected my normal shoe size. I tried them on and then walked around a moment to test things out. It was then that I thought to myself… hmmm… these are a bit roomy, so I think maybe I should go down a size. Boom I tried on one size smaller and again… a bit too roomy. At this point, I didn’t think too much about it given different manufactures often have different fits. Finally I found a size that fit perfectly. A full size smaller, I might add.
It was when I got to the SECond pair of shoes, and found them ALso too roomy that I began to become very unsettled. Then it hit me.
OMG. IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN. I’M SHRINKING. I’M BECOMING WAY TOO OLD. SIGNALS ARE COMING AT ME FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE! NOW EVEN MY FEET ARE BECOMING OLD LADY-ISH!!
I am just so shocked at all the signs pointing to my being a full fledged senior citizen. Not even that, actually. A full fledged old lady with only mere years left on the planet! OMG. This is just so disheartening.
Okay. So at 40 I needed glasses. At 50 I needed a list for almost everything. At 60 I needed blood pressure medicine. Now at 70??? I’m fucking losing inches!! Not to mention the sagging breasts, bullshit thighs, forgetting what I was looking for… and everything in between. Oh man. This is so not a pretty picture.
I will say however, that in spite of my horror, a good thing did come out of it all. I DID wind up with two pairs of beautiful shoes. Granted... shoes way smaller than I've ever worn since high school. Here… check it out for yourself. I happen to love both and they are way comfortable, too. The second pair are not usually my favorite, with the scallops and all, but as it happens… on the foot, it looks really pretty.
Oh yeah… I think I’ll order these online, too. Totally stunning. Afterall, in my book, no one can ever have too many black shoes. Especially not in my closet.
In closing, I do have to say that a really good thing occurred last week. I had a mammogram and bone density exam and I am thrilled that my bones are pretty much in as good a shape as they were 10 years ago. Apparently, in SPIte of my shrinkage. I guess I can live with all this, certainly because thank GOD my health at large seems to be holding it’s own and is in kinda tip top shape. So far, anyway. BUT….
If too many other things begin to happen as I approach 70, I’ll so not be happy. It’s when I can’t drive anymore, hear anymore or walk any more… THAT’S when I will be closer and closer to considering my planned little end of life cocktail. On the other hand… I’ll have really spiffy looking shoes to wear when headed over to the other side. Which is more important than you might think.
They say that all of us are born with talents. Some spectacular. Some way, way less so. I totally fall into the second category.
Some people THINK I have talent, but that’s so not true. MAYbe I'm gifted in an area or two, but frankly, what it probably all boils down to is: I just have chutzpa. I atTEMPT to do great masterpieces, but trust me. Nothing ever comes close.
Granted... people often tell me that some of my projects are pretty damn outstanding, but in reality, they’re not. It’s just that I at least try. If it works, excellent. If not… no big deal. I throw it out. But even my best results are nothing more than below average.
I will admit however: some of my knitting projects are pretty damn good. Only occasionally, some of my paintings are okay. My photography is probably better than most of my other projects. Even this blog is nothing more than stupid chit chat. Turns out I can create ideas, but executing them isn’t all that remarkable. On the other hand…
I will say I have a DEFinite talent for being able to nap almost anytime, anywhere. This is probably my favorite accomplishment for there ARE people who say they can NEVer sleep during the day. I so feel sorry for them. An hour’s nap is nature’s best all time luxury, if you ask me.
My other definite talent… are you sitting down??… is that I can literally eat a 16 ounce steak without even batting an eyelash! I know, It’s nothing to brag about but, seriously… it’s something I can do that most people can’t and I USUALLY don’t feel all that full afterwards. Talk about being a committed carnivore! And a gifted one at that.
Yet eating a pound of meat is exactly what I did tonight. Not all that long ago, either. And... the kicker is: if you asked me to go take a walk all around the neighborhood moments after I finished, I could probably do it with no problem at all. If I had had a pound of pasta however, I’d be a basket case. If I had even a small amount of ice cream… I’d have to bypass the walk altogether for in no time, I’d have to hit the ladies’ room. Regardless…
I do have to say that I LOVE a good steak. I always have. My sister for instance, served her family chicken 6 nights out of 7. I served mine SOME sort of meat. I never served them fish. Although could I have been able to afford it, I’d have made Florida lobster tails every meal of the day, every day of the week. Case in point…
When my Mother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 83, I distinctly remember bringing her home from the doctor’s, telling my Dad about the office visit and then on the way home… stopping at my local seafood market and buying 3 pounds of lobster tails just to ease my ache. Which naturally, once I got home, I downed EASILY. But whatever.
I guess boasting about my tremendous appetite isn’t neccessarily a good thing. But it IS an amazing talent of mine, so I might as well own it. And oh yeah…
Those fancy schmancy restaurants where they serve you an entree’ that is so small, it really belongs on a mere salad plate?? I totally hate that. The chefs are definitely trying to pass off a child’s portion as haute cuisine and I resent them for doing so. Besides… I love a Whopper with cheese just as much as I love Beef Wellington. Anyway…
Of the many times my friends and/or family may have seen me down a huge portion of steak or even seen me take a nap at the drop of a hat, never once did any of them tell me how tremendously gifted I am. But what do they know? For rest assured… I consider these two items right smack on the top five of my list of true talents. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the other three.
Well... except for the one whereby I can babble on and on and on about absolutely nothing of import. Now THAT'S a talent alright. I could NEVER do a 1000 piece puzzle. Nor could I even create a drop dead fantastic Halloween costume. But... eat three times more than most women? Boom. That I have down pat.