Sunday, November 5, 2017

BEING TALENTED


They say that all of us are born with talents. Some spectacular. Some way, way less so. I totally fall into the second category.

Some people THINK I have talent, but that’s so not true. MAYbe I'm gifted in an area or two, but frankly, what it probably all boils down to is: I just have  chutzpa. I atTEMPT to do great masterpieces, but trust me. Nothing ever comes close. 

Granted... people often tell me that some of my projects are pretty damn outstanding, but in reality, they’re not. It’s just that I at least try. If it works, excellent. If not… no big deal. I throw it out. But even my best results are nothing more than below average.

I will admit however: some of my knitting projects are pretty damn good. Only occasionally, some of my paintings are okay. My photography is probably better than most of my other projects. Even this blog is nothing more than stupid chit chat. Turns out I can create ideas, but executing them isn’t all that remarkable. On the other hand…

I will say I have a DEFinite talent for being able to nap almost anytime, anywhere. This is  probably my favorite accomplishment for there ARE people who say they can NEVer sleep during the day. I so feel sorry for them. An hour’s nap is nature’s best all time luxury, if you ask me.

My other definite talent… are you sitting down??…  is that I can literally eat a 16 ounce steak without even batting an eyelash!  I know, It’s nothing to brag about but, seriously… it’s something I can do that most people can’t and I USUALLY don’t feel all that full afterwards. Talk about being a committed carnivore! And a gifted one at that.

Yet eating a pound of meat is exactly what I did tonight. Not all that long ago, either. And... the kicker is: if you asked me to go take a walk all around the neighborhood moments after I finished, I could probably do it with no problem at all. If I had had a pound of pasta however, I’d be a basket case. If I had even a small amount of ice cream… I’d have to bypass the walk altogether for in no time, I’d have to hit the ladies’ room. Regardless…

I do have to say that I LOVE a good steak. I always have. My sister for instance, served her family chicken 6 nights out of 7. I served mine SOME sort of meat. I never served them fish. Although could I have been able to afford it, I’d have made Florida lobster tails every meal of the day, every day of the week. Case in point…

When my Mother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 83, I distinctly remember bringing her home from the doctor’s, telling my Dad about the office visit and then on the way home… stopping at my local seafood market and buying 3 pounds of lobster tails just to ease my ache. Which naturally, once I got home, I downed EASILY. But whatever.

I guess boasting about my tremendous appetite isn’t neccessarily a good thing. But it IS an amazing talent of mine, so I might as well own it. And oh yeah…

Those fancy schmancy restaurants where they serve you an entree’ that is so small, it really belongs on a mere salad plate?? I totally hate that. The chefs are definitely trying to pass off a child’s portion as haute cuisine and I resent them for doing so. Besides… I love a Whopper with cheese just as much as I love Beef Wellington. Anyway…

Of the many times my friends and/or family may have seen me down a huge portion of steak or even seen me take a nap at the drop of a hat, never once did any of them tell me how tremendously gifted I am. But what do they know? For rest assured… I consider these two items right smack on the top five of my list of true talents. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the other three.

Well... except for the one whereby I can babble on and on and on about absolutely nothing of import. Now THAT'S a talent alright. I could NEVER do a 1000 piece puzzle. Nor could I even create a drop dead fantastic Halloween costume. But... eat three times more than most women? Boom. That I have down pat.



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