Monday, July 29, 2013

BLURRED LINES


Up. My. Alley. That's all I can tell you. I heard this song and totally fell in love with it immediately. I even went to YouTube and was able to log in to view the XXX Rated version which is pretty cool. Sexy to say the LEAST. Including Robin Thicke himself. But the girls?? OMG. Don't ask.

Like how lucky is Robin that the girls are doing this video with him almost totally nude. Talk about hot asses! IT'S CRIMINAL that women have an ass like this. I am sooooooo jealous it's unbelievable. In the meantime however... forget about the girls. Wait til you see Robin's BLUE EYES. To die for.

As for the song... I was pulling into my car dealership to have an oil change this afternoon, listening to Howard Stern on my satellite car radio. Howard had been interviewing Robin Thicke which I was pretty much enjoying but then WHOA. All of a sudden I heard Robin perform this song in Howard's studio and I went nuts. Mainly because I was now entangled in a major dilemma. LISTEN TO THE SONG FINISH OR... GET OUT OF THE CAR FOR THE SERVICE DEPT?? What's a girl to do?

Turns out what I did was: give my keys to the guy and then immediately grab my cell phone so I could get to YouTube to hear/watch the video. I was in sheer heaven practically dancing all over the place as Robin was singing. TALK ABOUT GOOD LOOKING. Plus... as I said, I love the song, too.

Now I don't know whether or not you have a YouTube account. If you do, you'll be able to view the sexed out version. If not, then listen to this version which has the lyrics for you. There is simply no way you can be happy and alive and NOT tap your toes to this tune.


Which is why I'm thinking that there should so be condos just for: Happening Senior Citizen Singles Only so we could all have parties galore and dance all night long while toking or drinking champagne and listening to songs like this. Let alone what could hopefully occur during the After Party if you catch my drift. Talk about FUN, right? On the other hand...

I can so promise you not ONE of the senior citizens, male or female, will ever have bodies like this. But that's okay. That's where mere gratitude comes in.  

Saturday, July 27, 2013

HOLY SMOKES


I totally love this picture. Mainly because I have this crazy ass affinity for Smokey the Bear. And it apparently became heightened once I actually moved here to the Smoky Mountains. Where there are LOTS of forests. And where as you already know: only YOU can prevent forest fires.

One day years ago, I was online, saw this particular picture of Smokey and fell in love with it immediately. His expression just thrills me. Plus... if you've ever checked out other Smokeys throughout the years, you'll see there are zillions of different images of him. THIS image however is by far my favorite. So much so that when I saw it... I copied and pasted it into my imaging software, had it blown up and bingo. Had him framed to hang on my kitchen wall. I wished I could explain it but suffice it to say that for some reason he simply exemplifies everything wonderful about my having moved to Western NC.  

Okay. So Smokey has hung on my kitchen wall for years. Then... when I moved to my new house, naturally once again, I hung him in my new kitchen. I don't know. Maybe it's his eyes. His coloration. Who the hell knows. All I can tell you is that I smile every time I look at him. Anyway...

A few years ago, my kid was at home and together we took this label maker I have and we walked all throughout the house, pasting a label above every switch plate I have in every room. Most have double switches on the plates and some even three. It was kinda like: a little adventure my kid and I went on one afternoon to entertain ourselves. And... I was killing two birds with one stone given: as I walked around in all the rooms, I would say aloud what switch went to what feature, and my son would then print out the description so we could put the label right smack above each switch plate.

This way... I knew exactly what switch to press for what. As in: the ceiling fan vs. the ceiling lights. Or the doorway lights vs. the walkway lights. Or the outside deck lights vs. the outdoor flood lights. Etc. Etc. This entire process took about 45 mins. let's say and we had a pretty good time doing it. So much so that I'm thinking my son wasn't really yet ready to put the label maker away for... get a load of this... one day about three weeks later, I take a look at Smokey and lo and behold, next thing I know, I'm looking at THIS:



OMG. I INSTANTANEOUSLY BURST OUT LAUGHING. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. WHAT?? CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?? WHO THE HELL DID THAT?? Well actually, the culprit was pretty easy to figure out given I knew I didn't do it. Boom. It had to have been my son. I took one look at Smokey and completely thought this was the funniest thing I'd seen in a long time. Can you imagine?? Talk about sacrilegious, right?? Who the hell would ever want to dis such a sweet innocent looking little bear? Uh... apparently my kid does.


In the meantime, I got such a chuckle out of this that I've never changed a thing about the picture and just as you see it now, is the way it hangs in my house to this very day. And I still laugh every time I look at him. Which is crazy since you go into OTHER peoples' homes and find grand pieces of masterpiece artwork only to walk into MY house and find FUCK SMOKEY on my wall. Talk about a total switch up in the Fine Arts department. 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

TONTO


I am far from a film critic. In fact... I often tell you my alltime favorite movies are those made for 17 year old teenage boys. Kinda raunchy. Plenty of nonsense. Major profanity. And usually hilarious. KNOCKED UP comes to mind. In fact ANYthing with Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill is a must see in my book. As is normally Vince Vaughan or Jon Favreau, too. I even liked the first HANGOVER, although the other two sorta sucked. WAY over the edge for an old lady like myself. I also love Melissa McCarthy who btw was outta control uproariously funny in THE HEAT with Sandra Bullock. Uh... as you can see... my standards for movie going are pretty minimal. My friends love the high brow stuff. I go for the crap.

What I don't go for is the high action powered testosterone stuff. Nor grizzly murder mysteries. And certainly not thrillers. So... when I went to see THE LONE RANGER I wasn't really sure what to expect. If fact, we only went as a sort of default movie given there wasn't anything else playing that caught my fancy. Besides... Johnny Depp. Need I say more? Man. Staring at him for a couple of hours is totally up my alley. So bingo... I saw the movie.

AND SO SHOULD YOU. It was simply great. I seriously loved every minute of it. And trust me... it was a LONG movie. When I walked out of the film I had the feeling that anyone growing up in the 50s SO had to see this if for nothing else, nostalgia sake. Speaking of nostalgia...

If you think for one minute this movie mimics what we all watched on Saturday mornings while growing up... get that thought out of your head but fast. Granted the main characters are somewhat reminiscent but that's about where it all ends in the similarity department. The film has way more comedy in it and all KINDS of action and/or special effects and a totally different story line. What DOES make you sit up and take notice however is when... finally... you hear the 1812 Overture and when you do, you want to jump up for joy and clap your hands all over the place. You feel like 10 years old once again. It's actually kinda cool.

I totally fell in love with Tonto's headdress, btw. I read recently that Depp apparently saw a painting by Kirby Sattler of an American Indian wearing something akin to the black crow he wears on screen. The portrait's entire look inspired him to recreate something along those lines and in my mind... it worked. He looks pretty much like the painting and there is no question he looked like a realistic Native American. I'm thinking the makeup artist deserves a raise.


I'm pretty glad I got to spend time with Tonto/Depp and maybe you should too. True... there will be no awards given to this film but as I said... if you grew up in the 50s with Sky King, Circus Boy, Superman, Rin Tin Tin, Andy Devine, etc. then you might want to check out The Lone Ranger. Talk about a great way to begin your Saturday mornings. Heigh Yooooooooooooooo Silver! And yes... the experts do in fact tell me: it's not Heigh Ho. It's YO. And no... not as in: Yo Mama.  

Saturday, July 20, 2013

A REGAL INFANT



I have to admit... not only am I on Baby Watch for the next heir or heiress to the English throne, but also... I'm pretty damn excited about this birth, too. It reminds me of when I myself was past due for delivery of my son... and everyday I got hordes of phone calls inquiring... ANYTHING YET??? Man, I would so love to call the Duchess of Cambridge and say SO?? YOU FEELING ANYTHING?? Granted, I'm not on Kate's A List, so that pretty much is never going to happen but believe you me... I'm pretty close to all types of media lately so I'll be right smack on top of the news when it's released.

As much as I adored Diana's wedding, I must say I adored Kate's just as much. Maybe even more given that HER husband is so much more a gentleman in the purity and integrity department than his father ever was. At least William married a woman he truly loves. Seriously... it is just so damn sad to me that Diana had such high hopes for a loving, joyful marriage only to find out that from the absolute get go... Charles was a fucking liar. He never adored Diana. He never really loved Diana. And he never considered giving up his devotion to a mistress.

Granted, Diana may have been an emotional handful, but geez... what the hell did he EXPECT if he was going to make it a three way marriage? Of COURSE she'd go nuts. Which is why I'm pretty thrilled that it was she who always grabbed all the love and attention and headlines of the world... as opposed to Charlie himself. Who completely sucks btw. Anyway... we all know the tragedy of Diana, so no need to dwell on that crap.

Instead I take total glory in knowing that what in fact, saved the entire future of the monarchy, is without a doubt the marriage of William and Kate. After all the sordid soap operas of the Queen's children, finally... a genuine reason appeared, to ensure that the adoration of the Royals will once again be cherished. A reason that is, by way of: WILLIAM AND KATE. Theirs thank God is a love story that had a huge dose of reality and dignity. Theirs is a marriage that has been created in true modern perspectives. And theirs is a coronation that's killing me since I'll never be able to even see it given I'll be long gone when it actually occurs. Damnit. Which only means: I'M SO PSYCHED ABOUT THIS ROYAL BIRTH.

I can't even IMAGINE what the nursery will look like, but ten to one... I bet it'll be toned down compared to past nurseries. Which is a shame since I'd kill to create the baby's room for a REAL Prince or Princess. I myself would have the designer deck out the place to the elegant nines, but that's just me. In fact... in the pictures up above, you can see a couple of ideas that sorta struck my fancy. Especially since if I were able to have an outrageously stunning nursery for my kid... can you imagine what that would mean in terms of what my OWN bedroom could look like as well?? I'm telling you... I was born to dream of wealth and perks.


So basically this all boils down to the fact that like the rest of the world, I'm dying to hear news of the royal birth. If I were smart, I'd even have a Baby Shower Luncheon much like the Pre Wedding Luncheon I actually had to celebrate the April marriage. THAT luncheon was so incredible and plenty of fun! Regardless... my gut is telling me I bet it's going to be a boy but Kate's gut tells me she's carrying as if it's a girl. On the other hand, the one thing I AM sure of is that there will never be any Royal Bris. Which... in case you care btw... Charles is cut. William and Harry, due to Diana's insistence, are not.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

SEPARATION ANXIETY

Oh man... what a nightmare. Turns out my Internist all of a sudden decided to retire. WHO SAID SHE'S ALLOWED TO DO THIS ANYWAY?? I am sooooo unhappy, you can't imagine. Plus... it's a major pain in the ass to find a new one. As if that's not enough apparently doctors are also allowed to say: THANKS BUT NO THANKS. I'M NOT TAKING ANY MORE NEW PATIENTS. Talk about being oh so high and mighty.

Regardless... lickety split I got on the phone trying to set up consultations with new doctors so I can decide whether or not we'd be a good fit. As in: whether or not they'll give me any script I want... kinda like my departing doctor does. She was the perfect set up for me. Boom. I tell her I need a certain med and bingo. She writes the prescription. A basic match made in heaven.

In the meantime, before you even get to the consultation appointment, you have to fill out intake forms for the new medical office. Keyword here is: forms. As in ZILLIONS of them!! With zillions of questions on each sheet, no less. Jesus... you have NO idea how long I was working on these last night. I thought I'd go nuts. What's really crazy is that for someone who is sorta kinda healthy, I had quite a sh*tload of surgeries to document as well as current vitamins and meds. Oh yeah... and ongoing conditions, too. Seriously... what a person with a list of MAJOR medical problems must have to contend with must be sheer and utter hell.

So bingo. Today was my appoint with Sue. The reason I call her Sue is.... sitting down?? She's not even a doctor!! Instead she's a Family Nurse Practitioner who has her Master's Degree and who takes 50 hours of course updates every year. Plus.. come to find out... she's brilliant!! We spent an hour today talking through all sorts of things and I can tell right off the bat she's STRICT. As in: she's going to make me take my blood sugar reading EVERY damn day. Just like all other diabetics do but what I... uh... never do. It's a pain in the ass and I hate doing it given I'm pretty lazy. Even worse she is going to make me stop eating all the crap I love because it's not really good for me. Damnit.

On the other hand, there is a pretty good chance here that I just may become even healthier which I guess is not such a bad thing afterall. I even asked if in the event she isn't around when I need her, is there a doctor in the practice that she likes better than another. She told me the male doctors are way less on top of how to treat medical issues than she is and of the two female doctors, I should try Dr. ABC as opposed to Dr. XYZ. If I heard Sue correctly, she was like the first licensed Nurse Practitioner in the state of NC. Plus... I decided I needed her most for Family Practice type stuff since I already have all my specialists. Bottom line: I do believe I kinda like her.

Which is good given my other Doctor will be kaput come October. Granted... Sue is lessening my separation anxiety but still... I wished my real doc wasn't retiring. Which sorta brings me to another issue in modern day medicine.

While last night I was dealing with these crazy ass forms, yesterday morning I needed to talk to Blue Cross Blue Shield about my son's coverage. I needed to verify that payment was received and his coverage was in fact, still in place. Not a big deal, right?? WRONG. Wanna guess how long I was waiting on the phone after having pressed button after button to get to the right person? IT WAS AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTE WAIT!! I was fit to be tied. Something about medicine has GOT to be switched up. It is CRAZY to be on the phone so long for just a stupid little question. 


Happily it seems that all was good to go but I'm so serious... I have no clue how in his mid 80s my Dad EVER contended with this new fangled way of doing business. Not to mention Medicine. Trust me... if you have no anxiety BEFORE you begin dealing with doctors, insurance companies, whatever.... you will by the time you get to the bottom of anything. Which only means one thing: always have a great shrink on hand ready to help at a moment's notice. 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

TRUCK NUTZ


Oh man... ever hear of these things?? Well neither had I and let me tell you... I was STUNNED when I not only viewed them for the first time, but also that there even IS such a thing. It's totally gross. Naturally were I a male I'd have heard of them long ago since apparently they've been on the market for a pretty long time. In fact, from what I'm told they're even banned in some cities. Which is good. They're absolutely disgusting and wholly unnecessary.

Never seen any before?? Then guess what. Today's your lucky day. You can view them first hand in the picture up there. I saw them and had to take a picture of it IMMEDIATELY. What?? Are you kidding me?? There are testicles hanging from that lady's car?? OMG. Say it ain't so.

Unfortunately however I have to say: yes, so. It basically went down like this. I was recently a passenger in the car one day and we were stopped at a light. I took one look in front of me and whammo. I say: TIME OUT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? When told, in no time at all I whipped out my camera and started shooting away. I figured now THIS was something I had to document for posterity. Besides, ten to one I bet I never see this ever again.   

Anyway, to say this caught me off guard is an understatement. Like just how long has THIS been going on where people put chrome testicles on their rear fender?? To find out... I went to two sources. 1.) the Internet and 2.) my kid. On the net I found several sites that sell these and get this... they come in a total array of sizes and colors!! On the other hand, when I asked my son if he ever heard of these his reply was twofold: yes, he's certainly heard of them and no, if any mother sees her daughter being picked up for a date by a guy with these on his car... don't let her go! Basically meaning... the date is a major idiot.

Oh yeah... according to the Urban Dictionary... there are two definitions for Truck Nuts. Sitting down??

1. Truck Nuts: A pair of testicles attached to the rear of a car or truck used as an international symbol allowing homosexual men to identify each other. Red or blue colors are used to indicate if the vehicle owner is a "top" or a "bottom" while other colors indicate "no preference" as well as usual, or unusual preferences. Size of the nuts have no direct relationship to the actual size of the owner's penis and are usually misleading. 2. Originally bull balls, and now also human looking scrotum hanging from underneath the back of a truck. Usually to remind followers that the truck is masculine. Different colors indicate subtle meanings added. Usually considered a redneck accoutrement.


After reading this... I've decided there is basically no more I can possibly say about this topic. It's just way too over the edge for me to contemplate further. Seriously. How many times have I mentioned that entire world has totally gone to hell in a handbasket? See?? I AM right. Here's all the damn proof we'll ever friggin' need. Man... thank God I've got less than 20 years left to live. And btw... you're welcome for me teaching you about crazy ass urban life in the 21st century.  

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

PROVE IT

Tonight I'm giving you all a test. And btw... for those of you still in South Florida... and you DON'T pass it... then you've apparently been living inside a freakin' cave all these years. The test??? Easy. YOU'VE LIVED IN MIAMI?? OKAY THEN. PROVE IT.

Name this building:


I'll make it even easier for you:


Buzz. Time's up. Oh man... anyone who can't tell me what this building is or where it is located, gets major demerits. Living in Miami or not. Besides, this building is so famous that up until recently it never even had its name on the front. Demerits can be given regardless since basically... there are HORDES of movies where this building has either been featured or actually even been used as the film's prime location. So bingo. I'm hoping everyone came up with the same answer. As in - the name of this building is:

THE FOUNTAINEBLEAU HOTEL, MIAMI BEACH.

I can't even tell you how many times, while growing up, I've been there. In fact... I'm almost thinking that my Grandfather actually had a cabana there, but I'll have to ask my sister for verification of said memory. I've been there as a hotel guest as well as a mere visitor to the restaurants, entertainment, pool, conventions, etc. It was and still is a glorious building and a MAJOR landmark. And... it was designed by Morris Lapidus, who it turns out, became a hotshot, noted architect. Morris also designed the Eden Roc Hotel, which is right next door to the Fountainebleau. Which by the way, royally pissed Ben Novak off but PLENTY. Why so pissed??

Because Ben Novak owned the Fountainbleau and it was literally his pride and joy. More so in fact than even his son... Ben Novak Jr. Ben lived and breathed for the hotel, much to the chagrin of Benjy Jr. Thus, building the Eden Roc right smack next door was more than Novak could stand. In fact, he was SO pissed that Ben then built a huge addition to the Fountainebleau that would totally cover the sunlight from the Eden Roc's pool. 

Wondering how I know all this??

Easy. I'm reading Novak's biography and I'm telling you... it's mighty spicy to say the least. The book includes stories of huge Hollywood celebrities, the Mob, hordes of monies passing hands, lavish celebrations, zillions of women, and even murder. The book spends half the time talking of Ben Sr. but soon spends the other half of the story talking of Ben Jr. Oh man... now THERE was one f'ed up kid if ever there was.

On the other hand, who can blame him. His father basically ignored all parenting responsibilities other than keeping Benjy's wallet pretty well padded. Benjy grew up living in the family's 17th story Penthouse and had access to any part of the hotel he fancied. He also had a HORRIBLE stuttering problem which totally embarrassed his father. Plus... Ben Jr. had a total addiction to law enforcement and later even became a part of the Miami Beach police reserve force. Lastly... what a surprise... Benjy also had a penchant for strippers and overall poor skills in choosing dignified women with whom to surround himself. All in all, this biography not only intrigues me but also brings back memories of days gone by.

The hotel is impressive to say the least and my memories themselves pretty much take note of such impression. You walked into the lobby? Boom. You just knew you weren't in Kansas anymore. It was elegant. It was filled with people hustling and bustling. It was a happy place to be. The pool was amazing. The restaurants had perfectly fine food. And oh yeah... the entertainment was top notch. 

In the meantime, I'm not yet finished with the biography but just let me tell you: things don't work out so hotsi totsi for Benjy. Nor did they work out so well for his father, either. As in: he went bankrupt and lost the Fountainebleau altogether. Which trust me was a hole in his heart from which I don't think he ever recovered.

Bottom line here? What a great place this hotel and Coral Gables and Miami Beach was back in the 50s and 60s... a totally fabulous place to have grown up. And oh yeah... for those who have a penchant for history HERE is a link that will teach you all you have to know about the Fountainebleau. It's pretty interesting if you ask me. 

One last thing. How many of YOU were in fact able to have a piece of all this history? If, like me, you were... then maybe this will look mighty familiar. I totally love it.


Sunday, July 7, 2013

HAPPY FOURTH


I kinda like the 4th of July, actually. First of all... I love fireworks. Second of all, I really love hot dogs. Third of all, I love cherry and/or blueberry pie. Fourth of all, I love patriotic songs. And of course, I love being with friends to celebrate almost anything. So bingo. This is a holiday that encompasses it all.

Before I headed out today however, I was reading some email from Janet and somehow we were on the topic of weed. And I don't mean the kind that screws up the gardens in the front of my house. I'm talking the kind that says: YIPPEE. LET'S CELEBRATE. In the meantime, talk about Pavlovian theory. Janet mentions weed and boom. I immediately think: Now THERE'S an idea.

Which means I had to check the clock to see exactly how much time I had left before I needed to high tail it outta here. Once I concluded I had plenty of time to get together all the things I was bringing to the party I was attending... I then concluded I DEFintely had time to roll a couple of joints. Turns out Janet came up with an outstanding idea without even meaning to. Ergo: I went for it.

I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've actually rolled. Normally I go the pipe route. I have three favorites, in case you're interested. One a friend made for me years ago... out of tin foil... that is PERfect for doing the job. The other is a beautiful baby glass pipe that another friend gave to me and which also is a winner. The third... and the one I've used most recently... was given to me by yet aNOTHer friend and it's pretty cool. It's made to mimic the look of a cigarette which comes in pretty handy should you want to drive all over the city while taking a toke or two. No one's the wiser that instead of probably killing myself with future lung cancer, I am in fact... putting a happy smile on my face.  


In the meantime, I used none of the above yesterday. As I said... I went the traditional route. A rolled joint. I decided that while all the others would be busy drinking their wine to get a buzz, I'd get mine on by inhaling a time or two. Talk about mission accomplished. I totally loved it. Best of all... it worked. I got an absolutely lovely little buzz that if you ask me works way better than a glass of wine. Without the sugar and calories I might add. In fact... I think I'm going to have to rethink that which I carry in my purse each day. Having a joint handy can really do the trick, if you ask me.

I will say this btw... I could not stop eating ALL NIGHT LONG. It was crazy. An apparent drawback I see to taking a mere two tokes. It may have just been coincidental given I can't imagine the munchies lasting a full six hours but matters not. For whatEVER reason, I went to bed absolutely stuffed. 

Which I consider punishment enough to all you Google Police out there. Thus... don't get your undies all tied up in a knot. You needn't tract me down given I am far from the criminal element for whom you may be searching. Better you should check out rapists, burglars, etc. since basically all I am doing in this pict is reliving a memory from days gone by. My theory is: if anyone is looking to put an old perfectly refined lady like me in jail for inhaling twice... then go ahead. Just please don't put me in jail where I'll get bitch slapped all over the place. I SO couldn't handle that. 

Unless of course I were high.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

MY YEARLY DELIGHT


I was born in May. Thus, my zodiac sign is Taurus. Which means I was born in the Spring. Which also means I am of Mother Earth herself. Which pretty much covers what I'm all about. Actually... according to Tarot.com:

"Earth signs are naturally practical. They are bound to Earth. There is no escaping the reality around them. The Earth is about as real as it gets; it can be felt, weighed and it has substance. Accordingly, the earth signs base their life on what is real, not what is imagined. Sensation is valued over thoughts or feelings. Earth signs live with their feet on the ground. Others seek their advice because of their basic sensibility. For earth signs, seeing is believing.

The earth of Taurus is simple and sensible. It's about getting back to basics. This is about working the earth in a garden or about having the tools that we need in order to build. Taurus isn't necessarily like a Bull in a ring with a toreador. They could be more like peace-loving Ferdinand, seeking the gentle meadows filled with flowers, sunshine and natural beauty."

Of  course it then goes on and on about what an absolute fantastic human being a Taurus is... sensual, jovial, loyal, delights in beauty and oh yeah... my key planet is Venus. About which I'm totally thrilled I might add. So basically, it all boils down to: I am by far, THE best sign ever, if you ask me. Kinda like: whether it be physical love, caring guidance, fun and hilarity, or even sheer intellect, bingo. Hook up with me. You'll never regret it. Okay... so with that said...

I am totally delighted right now. Why?? Because the event I love most is happening right now in my earthy front yard. MY HYDRANGEA BUSHES ARE ALL IN BLOOM!! All seven of them!! PURPLES! PINKS! PALE BLUES! And I'm so telling you... they are simply beautiful! Finally... they've grown to a height where now zillions of these are blossoming at any one time and they are so magnificent its breathtaking. The blossoms are big and round and the bushes are planted on both sides of my lawn. Plus... I'm cutting them right and left to put in vases all over the place. I've even running OUT of vases! Seriously... this is the one event that I look forward to all year long.

No wait. That's not true. It's the second event. The first, without a doubt, is in autumn when my back yard maple leaf trees turn bright orange and yellow. The hydrangeas come in second. The third stunning earthy event I guess is when I have the first snowfall, which I do have to say is breath taking as well. Uh... as long as it melts the next day that is. Anyway...

You just can't beLIEVE my front lawn. It's so gorgeous that it's nuts. I can supply the entire neighborhood with these blooms. Instead however I'm supplying just myself. I mean I get just SO much pleasure when not only do I see hordes of beautiful colors but you can't even IMAGINE the size of these. Take the pink bloom for instance up in the picture there, in the first vase on the left. Would you believe THAT bloom is like 7 inches across!!! Maybe six inches high!! It's AMAZING.

You just need to thank God every damn day you wake up that you get to see these particular plants. In my whole life when I lived in Florida I never saw anything like this at all. Hibiscus, yes. Bougainvillea, yes. Gardenias, yes. But Hydrangeas??? Absolutely not. I never even saw the yellow day lilies that are also in my garden. Nor a snap dragon. Nor a camellia. Nor a poppy. Nor a daffodil. Not even a pansy. That I can even iDENTify these flowers is simply mind boggling.


So basically now that I've had my flower thrill for the year... I totally am counting on Autumn to REALLY ramp up my flora delights. And maybe even a sighting or two of fauna. As in: bears, turkeys and deer. All of which you can easily see in one's yard. NOT MINE of course, but certainly in yards of my friends. Were I to see a bear in MY yard, you can so bet on my having a heart attack right then and there. Which would definitely put a glitch into my absolutely adoring the rest of the Fall season.