Sunday, July 7, 2013

HAPPY FOURTH


I kinda like the 4th of July, actually. First of all... I love fireworks. Second of all, I really love hot dogs. Third of all, I love cherry and/or blueberry pie. Fourth of all, I love patriotic songs. And of course, I love being with friends to celebrate almost anything. So bingo. This is a holiday that encompasses it all.

Before I headed out today however, I was reading some email from Janet and somehow we were on the topic of weed. And I don't mean the kind that screws up the gardens in the front of my house. I'm talking the kind that says: YIPPEE. LET'S CELEBRATE. In the meantime, talk about Pavlovian theory. Janet mentions weed and boom. I immediately think: Now THERE'S an idea.

Which means I had to check the clock to see exactly how much time I had left before I needed to high tail it outta here. Once I concluded I had plenty of time to get together all the things I was bringing to the party I was attending... I then concluded I DEFintely had time to roll a couple of joints. Turns out Janet came up with an outstanding idea without even meaning to. Ergo: I went for it.

I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've actually rolled. Normally I go the pipe route. I have three favorites, in case you're interested. One a friend made for me years ago... out of tin foil... that is PERfect for doing the job. The other is a beautiful baby glass pipe that another friend gave to me and which also is a winner. The third... and the one I've used most recently... was given to me by yet aNOTHer friend and it's pretty cool. It's made to mimic the look of a cigarette which comes in pretty handy should you want to drive all over the city while taking a toke or two. No one's the wiser that instead of probably killing myself with future lung cancer, I am in fact... putting a happy smile on my face.  


In the meantime, I used none of the above yesterday. As I said... I went the traditional route. A rolled joint. I decided that while all the others would be busy drinking their wine to get a buzz, I'd get mine on by inhaling a time or two. Talk about mission accomplished. I totally loved it. Best of all... it worked. I got an absolutely lovely little buzz that if you ask me works way better than a glass of wine. Without the sugar and calories I might add. In fact... I think I'm going to have to rethink that which I carry in my purse each day. Having a joint handy can really do the trick, if you ask me.

I will say this btw... I could not stop eating ALL NIGHT LONG. It was crazy. An apparent drawback I see to taking a mere two tokes. It may have just been coincidental given I can't imagine the munchies lasting a full six hours but matters not. For whatEVER reason, I went to bed absolutely stuffed. 

Which I consider punishment enough to all you Google Police out there. Thus... don't get your undies all tied up in a knot. You needn't tract me down given I am far from the criminal element for whom you may be searching. Better you should check out rapists, burglars, etc. since basically all I am doing in this pict is reliving a memory from days gone by. My theory is: if anyone is looking to put an old perfectly refined lady like me in jail for inhaling twice... then go ahead. Just please don't put me in jail where I'll get bitch slapped all over the place. I SO couldn't handle that. 

Unless of course I were high.

1 comment: