Sunday, April 26, 2020

BREAKFAST CLUB




For about 10 years I guess, I’ve been joining about 10 of my girlfriends for breakfast each Saturday morning. It’s something I love to do, in spite of the fact I am supposed to be at the restaurant at 10:30 which for me, is a feat onto itself. 10:30??? Up and dressed and on the road?? Oh man. Talk about a timetable challenge.

Needless to say, I am never on time. Besides, I have to set my alarm clock to be up in time and I refuse to wake up earlier than 9:20 on a Saturday morning. Hence, while everyone else is there right smack on time, I usually mosey on in about 20 minutes late. Not that anyone necessarily cares, given there has yet to be a gathering whereby all the others are not enjoying the festivities because I haven’t yet shown up. Believe me… everyone has a totally wonderful time whether I’m there or not. WHAT?? LINDA CAN’T BE THERE?? OH, OKAY THEN. CANCEL THE EVENT ALTOGETHER! Yeah. Like that’s ever going to happen. In any case…

For all these years, everything has worked like a charm. We show up, we eat breakfast, we talk about everything known to man, and basically have a delightful time. A lot of laughter, some bitching (that would be me), discussions ranging anywhere from current events to blow jobs and everything in between. Movies. Fashion. Dilemmas. Joys. Sorrows. Grandkids. Books. Whatever. You name it, we discuss it. Kinda like what every group of girlfriends talk about when together. All in all… it’s a pretty great way to spend a Saturday morning. Throw in an order of eggs and blueberry pancakes and bingo. Your weekend is off to a great start.

And then boom. The coronavirus kicked in. Next thing you know, good-bye breakfast time.

Until that is, we began to Zoom with each other. Yippee. Breakfast Club was back on! Minus the pancakes of course.

And btw… we totally deserve a medal given all of us senior citizens figured out how to use Zoom lickety split. SO THERE, YOU MILLENAILS! Who said you can’t teach old dames new tricks??

Oh yeah… and naturally, the best part for me is that now I get to tell Alexa to wake me up at 10:00… a whole extra 40 minutes of beauty sleep! Plus, I get to wear my  nightgown to each Zoom meeting. Could it GET any better than that?? I’m in total heaven, to say the least.

The first time we Zoomed, I loved it immediately. It was sooo great seeing everyone again; especially Sue, given she left last September I think, and is still in Florida where she lives each winter. That’s not to say I don’t love Zooming with everyone else too, for believe you me, I DO. Especially since I get to sit at my computer, drink my Diet Coke and have a smoke. All in all… a perfectly excellent set up for me.

Yesterday was an another Breakfast Club fun day for me. We began with talking about what’s doing the past week… and moved right on in to movies and books, then talking about some of the implications of current events, what to watch on TV, etc. etc. By the time we ended, we were on the topic of uncircumcised men. That discussion alone was something to behold, alright.

I think it might have started with the story I told about my having to make a delivery of bagels to my girlfriend the other night, only to realize after I was in the car and on the road, that not only had I left my phone on the kitchen counter, but I also forgot to put on slacks before I left the house. Don’t ask. I was traipsing around the city basically in a sweater, slippers and panties. Not a great look for a woman in her 70s but whatever. In the meantime…

I adore spending Saturday mornings with this group of friends. For while each of us have pretty much different personalities, different interests, different tastes, different life stories, etc., there is always something for all of us to discuss. Which is why I love women as a whole, actually. No matter who it may be, I could so easily be on a cross country car trip, and still never run out of things to talk about with another woman or two. Of course I am by far the last person anyone would want on a car trip, given I have major digestive trouble hence any trip expected to take 12 hours, let’s say… could very well take up to 16 after we factor in my bathroom stops. But that’s another story altogether. 

Anyway, I have a theory about enjoying a group of women: no matter how many men you may have in your life, you absolutely need your girlfriends! And, plenty of them too, if you can swing it. Granted, not every of them have to always be your all time BEST friend forever, but having access to several happy girlfriends is pretty much essential to aging with a smile on your face.

Thus… if it turns out that you’re a real hardcore bitch for instance, you may want to switch that up immediately. NO one will want to become friends with you and bingo. You’re on your own. Not having ANY of the fun we in the Breakfast Club have. For btw… while all of us are pretty accepting of each other’s flaws and strengths, the one thing I don’t think any of us would put up with is a mean spirited, back stabbing egotistical idiot. Well, I won’t anyway. HEAD’S UP: You get on my Shit List and whammo. I don’t see it becoming particularly pleasant for either of us.

So it kinda makes me just so happy to have all these friends in my life, especially while being on lock down. It’s so comforting to know that my girlfriends give a damn about me, check up on me, and totally care about me. What will make it all the better for me of course, is when we can finally get together in person again and ordering a major Hungry Man Meal! Which is pretty much the way my order normally goes.

Everyone else likes 2 poached eggs with a side of whole wheat toast, let’s say. Maybe even some hash brown potatoes thrown in. Me?? Oh man. I love to begin with a lightly warmed muffin of some sort. Then 2 scrambled eggs, dry toast, a couple of pancakes with a side of grits and an order of sausage or bacon. I might even end it all with a tasty slice of cherry cheesecake. Now THAT’S what I call a great breakfast!

Couple that with my girlfriends sitting all around me, and next thing you know…  it turns out to be a perfect way to laugh and get a real kick out of life. Yay friends. Yay Breakfast Club. Yay Zoom. And yay me for being able to be a part of this.




Wednesday, April 8, 2020

DAY 45


WARNING: I HATE TRUMP THUS FOUL LANGUAGE USED

Oh man. This is SOME deal we have going on here with the STAY AT HOME directive. I cannot beLIEVE we are living through what will be THE most momentous time in history for this current century. Are you kidding me?? I am living during a world wide pandemic?? What the hell??

Holy shit. I feel as if we are all living back in the 1800s when there was the cholera pandemic in England. It was the most horrible living condition you can imagine. Starving people. Death all over the place. No safe housing. People unable to work. Sickness on every street. Pain and disease in every single home. And yet today... with all the miracles of modern medicine, we are witnessing world wide death all OVER the place! Just today we in the United States have 435,000 cases of the coronavirus and 14,000 deaths. Which supposedly will go up to 60,000 by July.

It's crazy. But yessiree. Here we are in 2020 with a world wide plague presenting itself, killing hundreds of thousands of people on the planet. What the hell is GOING ON?? And better yet… who is our leader during this most critical, historical moment?? Don’t even fucking ask.

WE HAVE A BRAINLESS, EVIL, LYING, ANTI-SCIENCE CLOWN LEADING OUR COUNTRY DURING A PANDEMIC WHEN INTELLIGENT, TRUTHFUL DIRECTION IS MOST NEEDED  AS DEATH AND SUFFERING IS EVERYWHERE… YET WE HAVE A LEADER WHO IS MORE CONSUMED WITH LEADING OUR COUNTRY ONLY IN WAYS THAT WILL HELP HIS RE-ELECTION. This is immorality to the core! 

For of all the governmental presidents all over the world, I wind up with the egotistical one who cares little about listening to science and medical experts. One who makes false claims every damn day when we need nothing but facts and proven health directions. One who stands before my country’s microphones every damn day for two hours, touting himself as the savior of the United States of America. One who refuses to follow the recommended directives of the medical communities. And one who is more concerned with the economy first rather than saving lives of his citizens. FUCK TRUMP. 

And fuck all the asshole governors too, who believe in Trump more than the decency of saving lives. Shit. If Andrew Cuomo isn’t an example of brilliant leadership, then I don’t know who is. Besides... you have any idea how many of our Secretaries are merely Acting ones?? They too, have no idea which way to turn and btw... almost all of them are like a revolving door: in the government one day, then boom... replaced and out the next. When we now have Jared Kushner as the coronavirus team development guy, you just know we are in big trouble! EEEKS. Anyway…

Here I am in the midst of an unfathomable worldwide health crisis that so sadly is taking lives of people all around us. It is heartbreaking to one’s soul. With all that said…

I am listening. I am obeying. I’m distancing. And I’ve been hunkered in my home for 45 days so far.

I figured out very early in February something pivotal was occurring so boom. I went to Amazon and ordered every necessary item for protection needed in a world full of disease. You name it. I ordered it. I bought every variety of masks. I bought a zillion rolls of toilet paper. I bought a huge amount of paper towels. I bought gloves, sanitizers. disinfectants, etc. etc. just so I could be safe and supplied for the next 5 months. Because trust me… this deal is not going away anytime soon.

When the hell I’ll be able to enjoy being with friends and family again, I have no clue. I’ve Googled. I’ve phoned. I’ve Facebooked. I’ve Zoomed. I’ve FaceTimed. I’ve emailed. I’ve basically done everything technology will allow me. Wow. Thank YOU Vinton Cerf and Bob Kahn for inventing the Internet! You’ve definitely saved my sanity!

Of course I’ve also stocked my freezer and pantry with enough food to feed a family of 17 for a pretty damn long time. I’ve also worn a bra for maybe only 9 days out of the past 45. YAY COMFORT. And yes… I’ve had to cancel two happy, big deal, out of town celebrations. But… the bottom line is…

I’m surviving. I’m healthy. And, I’m acclimating to all this pretty well, considering. As I told many friends… I’ve now learned that I’m pretty sure I’m going to be okay living in a bullshit nursing home, staying in a nightgown all day and watching TV without ever having anyone visit me. Talk about a dry run.

And I hope that so many others are doing okay during all this, too. Too many people have lost their struggle to stay alive during this vicious virus and my heart aches for all their families. For all I know these 45 days will turn into 85 days but if that's what it takes to keep our fellow citizens safe, boom. I'll do it. Can you imagine what is happening to our economy, btw??

Nothing is going to be the same ever again. The financial recovery from Wall Street to Main Street is going to take years to get where we were before this pandemic. I feel just so badly for business men and women and their employees, for regardless of what economic bills are passed by Congress, these people are going to sweat it out but plenty by the time monies are actually in their pockets once again. I can't even imagine what kind of chaos to expect as everyone who lost their income tries to find new employment. Jesus. Am I ever glad I'm old and retired and getting Social Security. Have you any idea what it's like for the unemployed to get medical insurance? What it's like to have all your savings wiped out in 6 months just so your family can live through all this? It's just mind boggling to me. 

Which brings me back to FUCK TRUMP. If ever there was a time we needed REAL leadership to bring our country to some sort of normalcy on all fronts, it is now! He is SO loving the fact he gets to face the American people, spouting lies day in and day out, for hours no less, in lieu of his disturbing rallies. DON'T WORRY EVERYONE. THIS VIRUS WILL BE GONE IN DAYS AND LIKE A MIRACLE, WE WILL ALL BE WELL AND HAPPY AGAIN. Is this a joke?? It's not the virus that's making me sick. IT'S LISTENING TO MY PRESIDENT! 

All I know is we are all indebted to the hospitals, doctors, nurses, and EVERYone in the medical profession, for their tireless devotion and work ethic. They are working in horrifying conditions during a horrifying time, risking their own lives to save ours. Thank God for such people. Personally, I would have probably thrown in the towel long ago since I take to fear like a fish takes to water. Regardless..

I pray everyone you love comes out well on the other side of all this. I also pray Trump is ousted in November, which by the way, reminds me... how much you want to bet he totally switches up the Presidential election timetable? If you think Nixon was full of dirty tricks, you ain't see NOTHING yet.