Friday, November 24, 2017


See that picture up there? It’s what I feed Zebulon… my most adorable Havanese dog who frankly…  is good enough to eat , no pun intended. Who knew he’d turn out to be the cutest animal on earth??

Next week he will be a year old and I am so telling you. He is like THE perfect dog. Well.. except on the days he is a bastard dog but that’s only because he’s now old enough to begin“marking” his territory around the house and it will totally be the death of me. But whatever…

Zebulon is so beautiful, so happy, so smart, has such soft fur and is lucky as shit to have such a comfy home in which to live. Let alone to have such a wonderful lady of the house to care for him. Uh… that would be me, btw. What I love best about Zebulon is that he is on a perfect sleep schedule whereby he will sleep in his crate until I wake up… about 10:00 a.m. let’s say. I mean, seriously. This is WAY better than when my own kid was a baby! Plus… whenever I nap, I make the annoucement TIME FOR A NAP and boom. He heads to his crate and naps too.

In the meantime… this dog enjoys THE best meals on the planet. I mean it. He totally eats better than I do. And… he gulps down his meals in seconds flat, given it is as close to gourmet as he’s ever going to get. I’m actually borderline jealous.

For the first 8 months of his life, Zebulon ate some brand or other of really healthy dry dog food. And, he was pretty much thriving. Then about several weeks ago, I happened to pick up a couple of packs of some connoction of wet dog food made by Rachel Rae who by the way… I should only be so lucky as to have her cook for ME rather than for Zebulon. The dog food she makes is like major cuisine and the first time he tasted her food line, Zebulon went nuts with delight! Plus, theres no soy, wheat, corn, etc. etc. thus is supposedly major healthy for him.

It took mere minutes for Zebulon to down his entire food bowl and I was SHOCKED at the excitement this animal felt over his new food. Talk about night and day. He went from really enjoying his meals to: OMG. I’M IN DEFINITE DOG HEAVEN WITH EACH AND EVERY BITE OF THIS NEW DOG FOOD THE LADY OF THE HOUSE IS SERVING ME!

As well he should be! When you open a package of Rachel’s dog food, you can actually SEE that it’s made from real people-like food. Case in point: last night was Rustic Duck night and I was this far from wanting to heat it up for mySELF Seriously… the duck, brown rice and peas looked amazingly scrupmtious.  Way better than the stupid salad I was about to down. And oh yeah… I swear… Zebulon has definitely put on some pounds since beginning this cuisine! About 4 pounds I think and now I’m this far from putting him on a diet! Can you even imagine??

So the lineup basically is: chicken pot pie, beef stew, duck, lamb stew, and a couple of other fantastic choices. All have veggies in them, too. In each of the choices you see all real food and very little gravy thus you can tell right off the bat Zebulon is not being scammed by some company trying to put just a mouthful of beef in a boatload of gravy. I’m telling you… it’s real food! So basically… my dog’s life went from blessed to down right out of this world FABULOUS. Never once, btw, has he ever left a drop in his bowl.

I do have to also say… my sweet Zebulon is by far the most wonderful pet and I NEVER leave a pet store without buying him 4 new toys. I can’t help it. I see the displays and just KNOW he’d love chomping away on them. I even bought some cheapie outdoor play equipment for him, his favorite being this LONG nylon tunnel through which he loves to run a hundred mile per hour. It’s hilarious to watch. Anyway…

In closing, I readily admit I am filled with a huge amount of envy that my dog has a personal high profile chef making his meals and I DON’T! A chef is something I’ve always wanted, for sure. Well, that and a Lady in Waiting. I’m way into personal service and apparently so is Zebulon. His plate is always as clean as a whistle and basically so is mine. Except he’s eating gourmet and uh… I’m not.

Monday, November 6, 2017


It was over a year ago that I wrote about my unhappy discovery that I apparently shrunk in height. I was at the doctor’s and much to my chagrin they ALways make me get on the scale, afterwhich they then take my height measurement.

Yes, I had lost weight, but believe me, that did nothing to make me smile about my height being an inch shorter. I remember well how I was TOTally freaked that day. Talk about getting old but FAST. It definitely startled my psyche, proving once again I’m a bona fide senior citizen. EEEKS.

Well guess what. IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

Only this time, it occured while I was in the shoe department of Stein Mart. And… I was as heartsick upon my discovery as I was during the original height discovery. Man. My years are SO so numbered. Regardlless…

There I was, happily browsing Stein Mart, finally making my way to the shoe department. I had to. They were having a sale whereby you could buy one pair of shoes and get 50% off any other pair; an offer I usually don’t fall for, btw. I find it retail offensive given they are basically trying to scam you into spending even more money than you really intended. But whatever.

Turns out this time however, I really DID find two pairs of shoes I wanted so basically, it wound up being a good thing afterall. What wasn’t so good was…

In both cases I selected my normal shoe size. I tried them on and then walked around a moment to test things out. It was then that I thought to myself… hmmm… these are a bit roomy, so I think maybe I should go down a size. Boom I tried on one size smaller and again… a bit too roomy. At this point, I didn’t think too much about it given different manufactures often have different fits. Finally I found a size that fit perfectly. A full size smaller, I might add.

It was when I got to the SECond pair of shoes, and found them ALso too roomy that I began to  become very unsettled. Then it hit me.


I am just so shocked at all the signs pointing to my being a full fledged senior citizen. Not even that, actually. A full fledged old lady with only mere years left on the planet! OMG. This is just so disheartening.

Okay. So at 40 I needed glasses. At 50 I needed a list for almost everything. At 60 I needed blood pressure medicine. Now at 70??? I’m fucking losing inches!!  Not to mention the sagging breasts, bullshit thighs, forgetting what I was looking for… and everything in between. Oh man. This is so not a pretty picture.

I will say however, that in spite of my horror, a good thing did come out of it all. I DID wind up with two pairs of beautiful shoes. Granted... shoes way smaller than I've ever worn since high school. Here… check it out for yourself. I happen to love both and they are way comfortable, too. The second pair are not usually my favorite, with the scallops and all, but as it happens… on the foot, it looks really pretty.

Oh yeah… I think I’ll order these online, too. Totally stunning. Afterall, in my book, no one can ever have too many black shoes. Especially not in my closet. 

In closing, I do have to say that a really good thing occurred last week. I had a mammogram and bone density exam and I am thrilled that my bones are pretty much in as good a shape as they were 10 years ago. Apparently, in SPIte of my shrinkage. I guess I can live with all this, certainly because thank GOD my health at large seems to be holding it’s own and is in kinda tip top shape. So far, anyway. BUT….

If too many other things begin to happen as I approach 70, I’ll so not be happy. It’s when I can’t drive anymore, hear anymore or walk any more… THAT’S when I will be closer and closer to considering my planned little end of life cocktail. On the other hand… I’ll have really spiffy looking shoes to wear when headed over to the other side. Which is more important than you might think.

Sunday, November 5, 2017


They say that all of us are born with talents. Some spectacular. Some way, way less so. I totally fall into the second category.

Some people THINK I have talent, but that’s so not true. MAYbe I'm gifted in an area or two, but frankly, what it probably all boils down to is: I just have  chutzpa. I atTEMPT to do great masterpieces, but trust me. Nothing ever comes close. 

Granted... people often tell me that some of my projects are pretty damn outstanding, but in reality, they’re not. It’s just that I at least try. If it works, excellent. If not… no big deal. I throw it out. But even my best results are nothing more than below average.

I will admit however: some of my knitting projects are pretty damn good. Only occasionally, some of my paintings are okay. My photography is probably better than most of my other projects. Even this blog is nothing more than stupid chit chat. Turns out I can create ideas, but executing them isn’t all that remarkable. On the other hand…

I will say I have a DEFinite talent for being able to nap almost anytime, anywhere. This is  probably my favorite accomplishment for there ARE people who say they can NEVer sleep during the day. I so feel sorry for them. An hour’s nap is nature’s best all time luxury, if you ask me.

My other definite talent… are you sitting down??…  is that I can literally eat a 16 ounce steak without even batting an eyelash!  I know, It’s nothing to brag about but, seriously… it’s something I can do that most people can’t and I USUALLY don’t feel all that full afterwards. Talk about being a committed carnivore! And a gifted one at that.

Yet eating a pound of meat is exactly what I did tonight. Not all that long ago, either. And... the kicker is: if you asked me to go take a walk all around the neighborhood moments after I finished, I could probably do it with no problem at all. If I had had a pound of pasta however, I’d be a basket case. If I had even a small amount of ice cream… I’d have to bypass the walk altogether for in no time, I’d have to hit the ladies’ room. Regardless…

I do have to say that I LOVE a good steak. I always have. My sister for instance, served her family chicken 6 nights out of 7. I served mine SOME sort of meat. I never served them fish. Although could I have been able to afford it, I’d have made Florida lobster tails every meal of the day, every day of the week. Case in point…

When my Mother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 83, I distinctly remember bringing her home from the doctor’s, telling my Dad about the office visit and then on the way home… stopping at my local seafood market and buying 3 pounds of lobster tails just to ease my ache. Which naturally, once I got home, I downed EASILY. But whatever.

I guess boasting about my tremendous appetite isn’t neccessarily a good thing. But it IS an amazing talent of mine, so I might as well own it. And oh yeah…

Those fancy schmancy restaurants where they serve you an entree’ that is so small, it really belongs on a mere salad plate?? I totally hate that. The chefs are definitely trying to pass off a child’s portion as haute cuisine and I resent them for doing so. Besides… I love a Whopper with cheese just as much as I love Beef Wellington. Anyway…

Of the many times my friends and/or family may have seen me down a huge portion of steak or even seen me take a nap at the drop of a hat, never once did any of them tell me how tremendously gifted I am. But what do they know? For rest assured… I consider these two items right smack on the top five of my list of true talents. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the other three.

Well... except for the one whereby I can babble on and on and on about absolutely nothing of import. Now THAT'S a talent alright. I could NEVER do a 1000 piece puzzle. Nor could I even create a drop dead fantastic Halloween costume. But... eat three times more than most women? Boom. That I have down pat.

Monday, October 23, 2017


Given I’ll be 70 years old in about 7 months, I figured it would behoove me to do SOMEthing in the name of health and fitness. Boom. To help me stay alive, I broke down and joined Planet Fitness about 6 months ago.

It’s acually a pretty popular place.  A kinda cool place, too. Naturally I would never consider getting up early in the morning when the hordes of other people go, given I’m still in bed, snoozing and probably in the throes of some sort of a dream. Instead…

I like going anywhere between 5 and 7 in the evening let’s say, when yes, there are lots of people, but it’s not overwhelming at all. Which works out pretty well because this place is HUGE.

With zillions of all kinds of work out machines, I might add. I mean ZILLIONS. Plus… there are alot of different work out areas depending on what type of workout you want.  Weights, muscle building circuits, ellipicals, treadmills, etc. etc.

Me… I take the lazy way out. I find a perfect little spot tucked away in one of the side areas and lay my yoga mat down for about a 40 minute stretching session. Then I go on the treadmill for about 20 more minutes. Plus… I love never having to miss out on my addiction to political news shows since there are hordes of TVs at most workout stations. I pop on my earphones… catch the latest updates and discussions and bingo. I’m excercising up the kazoo while also feeding my need to know.

It’s also kinda neat because after your workout, if you fell for the higher priced membership, which naturally I did, you can go to the special relaxation rooms. As in: a water massage bed, a tanning room, a massage chair, etc. Plus… it’s open 24 hours a day which is a major bonus for me. Of course I totally miss  out on the Pizza Mondays and Bagel Tuesdays since that is served pretty much before noon but whatever. In the meantime…

For a couple of weeks this past summer I went with my out of town guest to Planet Fitness, who by the way, gets to accompany me for free use of the gym as often as we’d like. It’s a pretty good set up, actually. Totally like 2 for the price of 1. In the meantime… of all the excellent features this gym offers what REALLY stunned my friend most of all was: uh… the picture up above. THE KEY BOARD. Not for the computer but rather… car keys. Locker keys. House keys. ANY kind of keys.

The bottom of this board is about 3 1/2 feet up from the floor and is huge. It probably goes up another 2 feet to the top. Which means: it’s also a definite haven for anyone wanting to steal your car. Or enter your house. Or whatever. 

Except for one thing:  NO ONE EVER EVER EVER DOES.

In fact my set of keys are right up there… right at the inner bend of the middle finger. I don’t know… I guess I have about 4 keys and 3 grocery store scanning cards on my ring. ANYone could have access to my entire life. Except: they apparently could care less about me or my keys.

Talk about trusting your neighbors!!! Granted… it’s a major gamble, sort of like a theft just waiting to happen, but in my little town? Man… if I can’t trust my fellow workout folks here, then I can’t trust them anywhere. My friend was aMAZed at my trust. And eveyone else’s trust, too! They were simply astonished that every car in the gigantic parking lot wasn’t being driven away, one by one, by the minute!

And yes. I do have to admit it’s pretty stunning to me too, that crime at this place is basically non-existent. Well… I don’t know for SURE, but it’s definitely pretty safe compared to large ass cities. But to my friend?? Whoa. They thought this trust in each others’ key rings was by far the most astounding occurrence since Americans landed on the moon! For this sort of decency would NEVer occur in their home city.

Which of course why I so love where I live. Drop a wallet somewhere? Boom. You’ve got an 89% chance that you’ll get a call from someone saying HEY. GUESS WHAT? I FOUND YOUR WALLET IN A PARKING LOT! I should know… it totally happened to me. In the meantime… working out at a gym is always a good thing. Working out in a gym where you can trust strangers? That’s a BETter thing.  

Thursday, October 19, 2017


Oh man. I’m such a sucker for events like this and I was totally into all of it. Naturally… I’m speaking about viewing the recent eclipse.

Granted... I am writing about this a few months later but whatever. I just have had one of the busiest few months this past summer thus finding time to write was a major challenge. Which makes it a good thing that I'm not being paid by some boss for my output, for I would have been fired years ago, believe me. In any case...

As luck would have it… I live in a city that was able to see the eclipse at 99.79% totality and okay, it didn’t get comPLETEly pitch black, but whoa, the sky did get reallllly kinda eerie looking. Kinda like a hurricane was going to make landfall right smack on top of me within mere minutes. It was pretty mind blowing and had I seen this in my 20s or 30s, when I was hard core stoned, whoa. It would have been all out freaky! I had several friends btw, who traveled a couple of hours away to see 100% totality and frankly, they sort of wasted their time if you ask me. Plus… they had to leave really early and the traffic coming home was often a jam packed problem. Regardless….

I stayed here in my beloved city and decided I had a great bird’s eye view of everything. At 1 o’clock 3 of went to the country club for lunch where the huge windows look down upon the golf course. At about 2 o’clock the wait staff pretty much began getting excited because they’d run out every few minutes to see what was doing up in the sky and would come back in totally psyched. Which of course was our cue to get up and go check it out for ourselves.


It was amazing to say the least! What shocked me even more was the fact the moon was so black and the sun was so ORANGE. I will never forget my first glimpse of it, is all I can say. It gave me a huge sense of sheer awe.

After the initial sighting we came back in to finish more of lunch and then we’d hop back up every few minutes. Finally…. at about 2:20 we went outside for good, given the totality of the eclipse was but minutes away. Several more people began congregating together and all of us were in the same state of amazement. I even shared my sun blocking glasses with a couple of dweebs who never bought any to begin with. I mean seriously... 

Who lives in a city where 99% of the sun was going to be covered at 2:40 in the afternoon and doesn’t even buy eclipse glasses? Losers, that's who. Jeez. In fact, up above you can see the exact glasses I wore, which for now seems to have worked pretty well given a.) so far, I'm not blind and b.) I got from mine optometrist, in the first place. Anyway…

It was totally one of the most exciting days of my life, no pun intended. Man… Mother Nature is a miracle, indeed. For those of you who missed this event btw, I feel badly for you which means you have to now wait until 2024 for the next eclipse to come across the U.S. And then, you'll have to plant yourself somewhere between Maine and Texas. But trust me... it will oh so worth it! 

Monday, August 7, 2017


So before I even get started let me just say I am THRILLED my dreaded summer of heat has been passing along pretty quickly. I couldn’t be happier. I totally think that having had company for two weeks in July definitely helped and bingo. Here I am with only about 5 weeks left before I move right on into the beginnings of autumn. My most beloved season of them all.

Just what I’ve been doing since I last posted I really can’t say but I have indeed been busy, happy and feeling excellent. Besides… like I’ve mentioned before… this Life Calculator deal that I saw online tells me I supposedly have only 6 more summers to go before I kick the bucket so I guess I better suck up as much joy as I possibly can no matter what the season or festivity. I only pray I live long enough to see that Trump doesn’t bring our country to ruins altogether but that’s a story for another day. In the meantime…

I had a pretty startling experience today. It all began with my having taken some cooked ribs out of the freezer this morning imagining they would make a perfectly fine dinner for tonight. Then I went about my lovely day, naturally coming home and eventually taking my alltime favorite… a nap.

For some reason when I woke up however, I totally had a hankering for Garlic Chicken from my local Chinese takeout which I like to frequent at least once a week. I know. Somehow I’ve developed a taste for this bullshit place but regardless 1.) I don’t have to cook and 2.) I’ve become addicted to it. Whatever.

The problem began when I went to go pick up the order. I still had on the clothes I wore all day, minus my bra which absolutely comes off within minutes of my ever coming home. I pretty much stay dressed all day long, until I take my evening shower, but my bra? THAT comes off imMEDiately. And usually stays off unless I ever have to go out once again.

Which was my major dilemma tonight. Did I REALLY have to put it back on just to run out to this Chinese dump where I’ll probably see no one I know? Could I sort of fake it… kinda like run right in, pick up the food and run right back out again? I chose the latter. I figured WTF. I’d forget about the bra.

Until I looked in the mirror, that is. 

Oh man. So freakin’ disgusting. I had on an opaque white cotton tunic t-shirt, one you definitely could not see through. Thus that wasn’t the problem. Rather the problem was that see through or not…. you could SO see that my breasts were just this shy of touching my knees. Saggy would not even beGIN to describe this horrifying fashion look. Even I was aghast at viewing myself.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME, ANYWAY?? I so don’t think this is normal aging. MAJOR wardrobe malfunction going on! Okay… pert and perky days are well behind me but seriously. THIS saggy?? I don’t think even one friend of mine is looking like I do at this age. Probably not even my Mother when she was 84!

Which basically made me turn right smack around, walk into my bedroom, put my bra back on, and then check out the difference. OMG. Talk about night and day. Within moments my breasts went from looking like 110 years old to oh... about 50, I guess. No WONDER bra manufacturers charge so much. They SO deserve the big bucks.

Which basically makes me feel as if I am completely pulling a scam on the entire world. With bra on? You’d almost think my breasts were decent enough. With bra off? You’d want to throw up altogether. 

Which is why up above, I’m including a pict of my actual bra but certainly not on my actual body. I wear only black unless I’m wearing a sheer white shirt and I only wear this plunge style. Gives nice cleavage, btw, don’t you think. Anyway…

I’m thinking the public at large should pretty much thank me for coming to my senses and donning this upper body shapeware everyday. Of… it’s the LOWer body shapeware that needs a major workover. One which I suspect only a plastic surgeon can correct. If only.

In closing, I absoultely have to thank Mary Phelps Jacob, who in 1914 apparently had the first patent on today's modern bras in the United States. Without her I'd be scaring anyone who ever looked my way. I'm only so sad she couldn't be around today to see just how far her idea for uplifting women has come. On the other hand... I bet she'd flip fucking out at how far women's panties have come! Who knew G string undies would soar in everyday popularity? And oh yeah. Don't even get me started on waxing.    

Wednesday, July 19, 2017


Okay... first of all, I can not beLIEVE how long it's been since I've had chance to write. Man, have I been busy. I actually have about five entries started, but never had time to finish any one of them before boom. Something ELSE of note popped into my head and next thing you know... days and days go by before I in fact, upload an actual, completed entry. Talk about time flying when having fun.

Second of all, today however.... something happened that I decided I needed to write about and actually finish! Turns out I learned that apparently I'm... sitting down??... A NO GOOD UNPAID WHORE. Whoa. Shocking right?? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO. I WAS SIMPLY FLABBERGASTED to say the least. But...

According to Dr. Laura that's exactly what I am. WTF?? 

So let's start at the beginning. Many years ago, while driving in the car, I used to listen to this conceited, judgmental, sick thinking lady until one day I had finally had ENOUGH of her bullshit advice. I mean geez... she was soooo cruel, so inflexible, so arrogant and just so full of herself. 

Which means you can only IMAGINE how totally thrilled I was in 1998 when naked pictures of her were splashed all over the Internet. I was in my total glory. Here... in case you happened to miss the entire event... check this out although I warn you now: 1. They are explicit and 2. MAYbe they're picts of someone else although the word on the street is that it's truly her. Graphic Nude Dr. Laura  

Besides... her degree in psychoanalysis, psychiatry, counseling, etc. is totally non existent. Get this... she has instead a Ph.D in physiology and btw, claims to have grown up in the most dysfunctional, unloving home known to man.

So with credentials like this, you can imagine my shock over a caller she was speaking with today. Oh yeah... indeed, I did flip over to her station during some commercial on another station... after YEARS of not listening to her. But whatever. Turns out the caller today was about 25 years old, not in school, not working, was jilted by her boyfriend and bingo. Is also pregnant.

I won't get into the details of the caller's problem but suffice it to say there was a family battle over what do do about this predicament. As in: abortion vs. adoption vs. keeping the kid. The caller wants to keep it. The family wants her to abort it and Dr. Laura insists the absolute only acceptable option is adoption. Unless of course you want to be considered an immoral murderer for the rest of your life and live in purgatory for ever and ever. Which is totally Dr. Laura's stance.

It was basically at this point that the good doctor claimed the girl and ANYone who ever had sex outside of marriage is nothing more than a filthy, rotten, "unpaid whore" who absolutely cheapens the sexual experience let alone the sanctity of marriage. 

NO WONDER I HATE THIS WOMAN. She's not only turned the Roe vs. Wade victory back 40 years, but her thinking has also totally removed any advances ever made in a woman's ability to made her own decision about her own body. Jesus... the whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.

But not as sick as making ME feel like an unpaid whore. WHO THE F IS THIS BITCH TO HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LABEL ME AS A WHORE?? I am stunned, to say the least.  For truth be told... NEWS FLASH... I myself have indeed had sexual encounters... more than once in my life I might add... as a single woman with no interest whatsoever in marrying the guy. Thus I am telling you right now: despite Dr. Asshole, I AM NO WHORE IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. In fact, I've never regretted any of my encounters and get this... even married two. Plus... any sexual experience I've had with ANY gentleman has been happy, warm, consenting and thankfully, pretty damn pleasurable.

To imagine that Dr. Bullshit can get on public airwaves and spew such judgment upon all women no matter what the circumstance, including wanting to enjoy a sexual relationship with someone you may never marry, is way more indecent in my book than actually having said relationship. Granted being an out and out slut is nothing to which one should aspire. Nor is sleeping around with people about whom you don't give a shit. 

But seriously. You're in love with someone? You're even really really really in like with someone? Then hell... why NOT enjoy a wonderful sexual relationship that holds joy and meaning? If you're adult and feel sex is something you want to share with someone important and you use dependable protection then geez... give me a break. GO AHEAD. GET LAID.

And... if you DO elect to enjoy sexual relationships mark my words: you are NOT necessarily "an unpaid whore." Rather... you're probably way in love with someone with whom you want to share fantastic intimacy. Which only begs my response to Dr. Laura's horrible labeling of many many women: UH... GO F YOURSELF, LAURA. 

Sunday, June 18, 2017


A crazy thing is going on. It happened when about a month ago… maybe less… some guy came to my front door telling me he is from my Homeowners Ass. and is looking for a few people willing to place their name on the ballot for the Board of Directors to replace those whose terms are expiring.

He asked me if I was willing to be a part of this and I must say he was pretty persuasive. So I thought a moment and realized I AM the laziest person in the world but maybe I COULD offer up some time to be a participant on this Board. Afer all… what else do I do, anyway? Apparently they only meet once every 3 months, I think, so decided what the hell. Okay. Put me down to run for Secretary. With the caveat being:

KEEP LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHO WOULD DO THIS INSTEAD OF ME. If absolutely no one else would, then okay. I’ll help out. BUT… KEEP LOOKING!!

Ballots were mailed out to all the residents about two weeks later and sure enough my name was listed to possibly vote me into some office. Bear in mind, btw, I know almost NO ONE in my development. If I had to guess… I know about 18 people MAYBE of about let’s say 125. It may be higher but I totally don’t know.

In the meantime… last week I got an email CONGRATULATING ME ON GETTING THE MOST VOTES OF ANYONE. What?? Who the hell even KNOWS me?? Which got me to thinking: Am I now f’ing President of this assocition by virture of the most votes?? EEEKS. SAY IT AIN’T SO. I DEFintely am not going to be President!! I am NOT going to be answering calls and emails from everyone who has a complaint or wants me do something on their behalf! Because I’ll tell you right now… I will totally tell them… DO WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT. I BASCIALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Just don’t call me again.

I know… nice way of leading this group, right?

All I know is that I had better be Secretary rather than President! Which might be hard to know given the annual meeting is next Saturday morning at get this… 9:00 in the morning!! At the local library no less. Are you kidding me? I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN BE UP THAT EARLY!! I am supposed to be turning over for my last hour of sleep at that time! Up, dressed, in attendance by 9?? I’m sooo not feeling it. 

Thus I absolutely do NOT want to go. Which is pretty funny because can you even imagine? If by some stroke of unhappy luck, it turns out I AM President, I am not sure at all that the folks will be thrilled with my absence. My way I guess of protesting this stupid election. Who would even vote for me, anyway? Granted… I can be a pretty unforgettable woman but seriously. Why even vote for me in the first place?? Oh man. This is so not good.

Besides… even if I do get to be Secretary, I wil immediately tell the board I don’t do meetings before 11:30, anyway. Actually 7:00 p.m. would be even better. I am NOT doing early morning get togethers for bullshit. Regardless…

I guess the suspense ends next Saturday. Gulp. I just may be the very first Board member to resign almost imMEDiately after being elected. Man. I must have been out of my mind the day that guy rang my doorbell. Much like I’ll be WAY out of my mind if I find out I’m President. Besides… I can only handle one idiot Commander in Chief at a time. 


Sunday: Woke up feeling pretty hungry so decided to make breakfast. Went to refrigerator and found just enough eggs for a delicious omelet. Added cheese, onions, tomatoes and mushrooms. Looked incredibly mouth watering. Came time to flip omelet… which I’ve done a zillion times before. Did the flip and boom. Entire omelet landed on the floor! Next time I’m totally going to Denny’s.

Monday: So after rainy day after rainy day it was time for the lawn man to finally arrive. He did so. I asked him about the several circular brown spots on my backyard lawn. Turns out it’s caused by Zebulon’s urine!! OMG. Am I eventually not going to have any green lawn left at ALL?? Actually it doesn’t much matter. The dog loves making on my floors as much as he does on the grass. It’s totally 50/50… he could care less where he goes. Bottom line: I’m so screwed.

Tuesday: Had to go to the bone and joint doctor because hard core of pain. Turns out... from having to literally climb up into my bed, my right knee cap is kinda compromised. IT HURTS. ALOT. Don’t need any procedure YET but already I’m smelling: SOMEthing having to be done somewhere down the road. Dear God… PLEASE don’t ever let me have to have a knee replacement. Shoot me now. I am so not a candidate for physical therapy which is mandatory for recovery. Am way too lazy.

Wednesday: Went to the skilled nursing home place to visit Bonnie who hasn’t been here in over 3 months. She had foot surgery caused from a staph infection and her recovery is still a far way off. Am barely hanging on in doing all my chores alone. Which reminds me… if ever I DO have to have a knee replacement I will NEVER go to a skilled therapy nursing place. Feeble old people in wheel chairs all over the corridors who have no clue which way is up.  Depressing as shit. Even the lovely dining room and ice cream shoppe offer no draw. 

Thursday: Yay. Went to the last of my birthday celebrations at my favorite Japanese resturant. Ordered a fantastic meal which I downed with sheer pleasure. Finished half of it then and brought the rest home. Finished the leftovers by 1:00 a.m. There simply are times when leftovers can be totally as mouth watering delicious as the first time around.

Friday: Woke up and sadly, found that Trump was still President. WTF is WITH this man? Does NO Republican care about his constant lying? Have ALL ethics and integrity left the Congressmen? Apparently. F these people. I hate them. Was devastated to hear about the baseball practice. For about 6 hours there was total unity in Congress. Talk about easy come easy go. Oh yeah... went to see WONDER WOMAN and loved every second of it. Who knew?? Also loved the popcorn.

Saturday: Woke up with horrible urinary infection. Won’t go into details, for which you should thank me. Started meds immediately since I didn’t want to miss a luncheon I had planned to attend. Made it to the luncheon although I felt totally crappy. But not so crappy that I’d miss my manicure appointment afterwards. Decided if I was going to kick the bucket, might as well have fine looking nails.

Sunday: Made reservations for brunch at the country club. No need to repeat last Sunday’s omelet fiasco. Excellent call on my part.    

Friday, May 26, 2017


Oh my God. I can’t even tell you how utterly disGUSTed I was earlier today. I totally wanted to throw up and believe you me… were I all alone in the house I certainly would have.

I had just awoken from a very long nap… didn’t sleep well last night but whatever… and I immediately walked into the kitchen to naturally grab a Diet Coke and begin marinating some chicken breasts. Thereupon I sorta noticed a huge something on my kitchen counter but really didn’t give it all that much notice given I was REALLY looking at the defrosted chicken next to my sink. And right then… in walks my kid.

VERY nonchalantly, with my back to him and to this humongous “thing” I happened to basically say… HEY. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THAT THING ON THE COUNTER. Bingo. I went crazy. His reply to me?? Sitting down??



IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL! I’M JUST DEFROSTING IT. AND BESIDES… THERE’S ALSO ONE IN THE REFRIGERATOR. At that little tidbit, I wanted to puke on him, on me, on the bone, and on my kitchen floor. Holy shit. Turns out… I don’t do well with dead body parts the size of Montana. Or Rhode Island. I don’t care WHAT the size. Soooo disgusting!

Next question from me of course was: WHY? My kid had a pretty good answer, I must admit, but still. I was totally SICKENED by all this! And oh yeah… I made him cover it all up with aluminum foil IMMEDIATELY so I didn’t have to view any part of this crapola. Turns out… given his job of assisting in orthopedic surgies, he wanted to “practice” his skill at doing sutures and apparently… practicing on bones of dead pigs is an excellent way of doing it. F’ING KILL ME NOW. Seriously… I can’t even TELL you how nauseated I was by this entire incident.

Who the hell brings this kind of thing home anyway?? To MY home no less! I am telling you… I was this shy from running to grab an Ativan so my heart would stop pounding. I mean it… I don’t even look at my own X-ray’s when at the doctor’s. It’s HIS job to view them. Not mine. Anyway...

Tomorrow my next question to my kid has GOT to be: WAIT. ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU’RE GOING TO BE CUTTING THIS LEG BONE IN HALF SO YOU CAN THEN PRACTICE DOING THE SUTURES??? IN MY KITCHEN??  Oh man… how much you want to bet THAT is never going to happen??

Just reliving this little story is making me sick all over again. I’d LIKE to say I’ve seen my last time of ever eating steak bones or even pork ribs, but sad to say… I doubt that will ever happen. Unless of course I just stick with the steak bone but frankly… THIS bone I had on my counter? Was totally close to being the size of a cow’s leg.

Monday, May 15, 2017


So last night I was playing around with some face apps on my phone. Or maybe it was with my iPad. I can't remember. In any case, I downloaded an app and then lo and behold you could do a bunch of things to make your face look like someone else's. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?? I am now Melania Trump!!! I am telling you... I can not stop LAUGHING!! I think this is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Can you even imagine??? 

Apparently the app takes your face and after you do some playing around with sizing and placement, I guess it transposes it onto another face you have in your photos and bingo. You look like that picture! Case in point: these are basically my ears, my earrings, my chin, my teeth, my cheeks, etc. etc. but then after some aligning, they added Melania on top of me. The app even finagled with my glasses. SO GREAT.

Frankly I never found Melania to be so damn beautiful as Donald seems to think. I hate her pasty expression... it never seems to change no matter how many photos you see of her. I guess I would opt for her figure for sure but to imagine that her husband might have to touch my body makes my skin crawl. On the other hand... I bet they're not having all that much sex anymore anyway so okay. I'll force myself to live in opulence if need be. Or not. Even that trade off could be a total turn off now that I think of it.

I still love this app, however.

In the meantime... EEEKS. THIS IS THE WEEK. Once again I have a birthday (thank God) and while I am thrilled to have been on this earth for 69 years what REALLY freaks me out is that NEXT year I will be 70!! Uh... God willing. Yet willing or not... 70 IS OLD AS SHIT and for the first time in my life I can see already that I will have a pretty difficult time with an age number. For in the end, it only points to one thing... my days here on Earth are shrinking by the minute.

Yes, I've been pretty lucky to have had a really wonderful life on every level you can think of. I don't even have anything on my Bucket List that I simply COULDn't live without. Instead what REALLY upsets me is... get this... all the fantastic food I will never again get to eat!! THAT I will miss almost more than anything. I know. It's totally sick of me to think this way but I can't help it. No more lobster?? No more chocolate?? No more prime rib?? NO MORE FRENCH FRIES?? Oh God... say it ain't so. Man... no doughnuts. No pasta. No hot dogs. No Greek salad with a gyro? Who the hell wants to do away with THAT? Unless of course a major feast awaits all of us once we get to Heaven. If only. In the meantime...

Here is a picture of what I actually look like at 69. 

I know. Far from Melania but as I say each year... things could be worse, I guess. Yeah, I'm not 16 anymore nor 29 and not even 45. But other than my damaged belly and droopy breasts I guess I can learn to live with my appearance. Uh... what choice do I have anyway? Trust me... I've seen plenty of other 69 year olds and I wouldn't trade places with them in a million years. The best part about being my age however is the fact I got here with no major freaky health problems at all!! Hallefuckingluyah. For that I am tremendously grateful!!

Perhaps as a birthday present, Trump is pretty much getting closer to being ousted. Now THAT would be a gift like none other. As I listened to MSNBC all night tonight it appears this man is definitely fucked and I can not tell you how much I am enjoying watching him and his White House spiral out of control. Granted... Melania may not be getting off on it but you so can be SURE I am. 

In closing here a picture of me in what I imagine I would look like Victorian days. I love this shot! Especially since I would have loved to have known Queen Victoria. She's by far my favorite queen. Man. How much fun am I having with this deal! Can keep me busy for days. 

Freaky... right??

Tuesday, May 9, 2017


Man... am I ever happy I can flee this crazy ass country any damn time the Republicans drive me out of my ever lovin' mind. Which could totally be any day now. Just what enables me to flee so easily?? YIPPEE. MY NEW PASSPORT!! I can't TELL you how thrilled I am to have it.

I've had a current passport ever since I was 16 years old. Well... except for the last couple of years, anyway. I kinda let time slip away from me and boom. Next thing you know, mine expired. I think they are good for 10 years and you should only SEE what my picture looked like 10 years ago. Talk about wanting to throw up. Besides.... nowadays they won't even let you wear glasses in your photo.

When I was 16... wait... maybe 17 but whatever, I went to Europe for the very first time. It was 2 month trip for about 25 high school girls from all over the country, whose parents were kind enough to ante up the monies for a major first class vacation. I was naturally too old by then to go to summer camp so all I know is my sister came home one day, told my parents she wanted to go on this tour with her close friend Sue and next thing you know, my bags were packed as well. Could totally have been one of THE most fabulous trips I ever took. Luxury all the way and you know how I love being treated like royalty!

Oh yeah... my other favorite trip was when I went to Mexico for 2 months via my university's partnership with Universidad de las America in a city called Puebla. The total opposite of luxury but equally fantastic nevertheless. No wonder. My two best friends... Mike and Tom... and I were stoned the entire time on Mexico's amazing pot. But that's another story altogether.

Suffice it to say that most people have their passport ready at all times given you just never know when you want to take off for some foreign vacation spot. Or... to escape brutal dicators, even. In my current situation I'm beginning to think I may someday need to not only get the hell out of Trump's regime but now... even more importantly... need to get out just to find decent medical coverage! I mean... really? 

Pregnancy is now a pre-existing condition?? Are you f'ing kidding me? I don't care WHAT friends have told me... our country is now officially becoming the total piece of s*** I always said it would be, the day Trump was elected. Even France butched up and voted in favor of decency. My God. I still can't believe Donald refused to shake Angela Merkel's hand. Anyway...

As you can tell from the picture above, I am enjoying the freeing possibility that if I decide to leave the U.S. until we elect someone who actually believes in decency and honor rather than corruption and out and out lying to me, I totally can. Leaving the country for a mere vacation btw, is pretty much out of the question given I am so not into airport/airplane terrorism. Mandatory bolting on the other hand, is pretty much my reason of choice.

And speaking of travel... the next item on my list is to hit the TSA Pre Check agency so that I can become amongst the lucky fliers who can then bypass the horrible lines at airport security boarding checkpoints. It's really kinda cool. You go to the agency, enroll in the program and bingo. You can then fly right smack past the hundreds of other passengers waiting in VERY LONG LINES to get through security. I SO HATE those lines! In the meantime....

This is all pretty ironic given I love nothing better than staying put right here in my sweet little home town for ever and ever. Which is the total dilemma I have regarding my fleeing The Donald. I'm thinking maybe I'll hold out for impeachment, but that is so never going to happen. The congressional Republicans would NEVER consider doing this, trust me. As for those who voted for him btw... go to hell is my mantra to them. Anyway...

EVERYone should have a valid passport, flee or no flee. Besides... even if you are on a pleasure cruise departing from an American port, you so could find yourself unable to disembark on daytime stopovers in Canada, Jamaica, Mexico, etc. etc. Not to mention that should you ever find yourself at an American Embassy for help, the first thing they'll ask to see is your passport. In any case... renewing my passport has been on list of THINGS TO DO for a loooong time and yippee, yippee. I can now check this off my list. Meaning:

Anyone who might invite me to their destination wedding is someone to whom I can now say: I'll be there!! Well... as long as it's within a 30 mile radius of my house, that is. All other destinations are totally up for grabs nowadays. Ahhh... if only I were still young and foolish. And of course... unafraid of being brutally killed.   

Monday, May 8, 2017


Celllll -a-brate good times... come on! Thank you Kool and the Gang, btw, for that happy little tune. Which actually is a wonderful way to begin a fun party with friends and family. Which is exactly what I did a few weeks ago in honor of my kid.

As you may know, I am over the moon that my son left Miami last August and decided to live in a place where life is soooo much better for one's soul, ease of life and yes, even your pocketbook. I should know. I've been living here for 15 years now and believe you me, I've never looked back. But to have imagined my kid too, would one day be here, puts me way over the moon. The delight I have in knowing I can see him any damn time I want is totally fantastic. Not to mention my no longer having to hop an airplane, go through security and visit the warmest city on the planet to visit him.

What is even more fantastic however is: a couple of months ago,he has passed his NC Board Exam for Physician Assistant and yippee, yippee. He's now about to begin working for a major sports medicine/orthopedic surgical office about 20 minutes away from my house! OMG. How lucky could I possibly be for such a happy turn of events! Who knew he'd kiss my much hated Florida goodbye and wind up in my beloved Smokey Mountains? Talk about making a great decision! Besides... his having hospital privileges and the ability to write scripts is totally excellent music to my ears. 

In the meantime... we recently decided to celebrate this new job with fun and feast by hosting a Sunday brunch. My alltime favorite brunch, btw. It's almost like: which am I more excited about? My son's new position or enjoying an exceptional buffet of scrumptious food. There was 22 of us in total and I do have to say we all had a fabulous time. We had a private room which was pretty interesting since the night before, when my kid and I went to set up the place cards and party favors, we could see right off the bat the table arrangement had to be switched up lickety split. The original arrangement was not working for us at all, but soon enough we had it straightened out and bingo. We got to work on placing the favors at each table setting.

Speaking of which I so loved what I did for the favors. It was nothing fancy at all and so something a second grader could easily do but what the gave one a clue as to what the celebration was kinda all about. Uh... in case a guest was an idiot and didn't know already. Besides, I was way too lazy to go all out do some remarkable tablescaping but I totally think that's just a result of my old age. Further... the country club had flowers, etc. to spruce up the table so things looked perfectly festive enough. That being said... 

First of all, I bought these baby little plastic cup holders with covers which I filled with orange Reece's Pieces and printed out a great small card to attach to each one saying: Take two and call me in the morning. I even put an Rx logo on it and frankly, if I say so myself... it put us all in the mood to have fun. 

The next thing I did was take plastic syringe shooters like the ones up above in the picture, and instead of filling it with liquor, like you're supposed to, I filled them with red licorice. Boom. You got the feeling of blood being drawn. I also made place cards and all of it was totally neat. Wait. Stop the clock. Who needs to tell you about it? I actually have a picture of all this! Duh. What an idiot I am. Here... check this out to get an idea.

In the meantime.... I have to say that all of us had quite a lovely time. My kid gave a short little speech thanking some people who were of significance, I gave a short little speech and all in all, we basically honored the happy P.A. to our excellent little city. What could be bad, right? Besides... I love enjoying happy times with happy people that I care about. Even more, I'm happy my kid got an excellent position with an surprisingly excellent salary! Who says money can't buy happiness??

I'm guessing btw, that my next celebration will be for ME... my birthday! I totally love my birthday and I do know that I want to keep it sweet and simple. Which should be easy given a friend of mine said they want to do a dinner party for me to which I naturally said: COUNT ME IN! Talk about no muss no fuss. 

Yippee. May is here!!

Monday, March 20, 2017


OMG. All I can say is: Zebbie is totally a miracle dog. I can't believe how good he is. How absolutely adorable he is. How amazingly smart he is. And best of all... he's hypoallergenic and does not shed!! That alone is worth a million bucks to me. Wrap that all into one sweet dog and bingo. I now have the most fantastic pet in the whole wide world. I mean seriously... is that the cutest picture you ever saw or what??

About six weeks ago, my college roommate told me she had just gotten a new puppy, with whom she was madly in love. Then she told me how he doesn't cause allergies and will not shed. Boom. I was sold immediately. So about a month ago, I told my son: please Google Havanese Dogs in our area and wouldn't you know it, less than 24 hours later we headed out for a two hour drive to check out our new puppy! Whoa. He was as good as gold from the moment we first saw him and it was like love at first sight. I can't even tell you how special he is. And, as I said... smart!

Havanese dogs come from Cuba, btw. The aristocracy bred them and used them as companion dogs which naturally is right up my alley. If it's good enough for aristocrats, you can be sure it's good enough for a plebe like myself. Zebulon btw is full bred, has registered papers from the AKC, weighs about 5 lbs and will probably get up to about 12 lbs which in my house is easy as hell to do in no time flat. 

He loves his little bedroom which basically is an excellent large red nylon puppy tent with netted windows on the sides that I keep in the family room. Uh... my entire house btw, is now filled with zillions of puppy toys and teething rings... almost more toys than I had in my kid's playpen way back when.  Anyway... 

It took us almost no time at all to set up the house for this new pet of mine and trust me... had my son not done all the ground work, there is no way I would have ever been able to pull this thing off. Zebulon, aka Zebbie, is now three months old and has been a sheer delight. Of course he has the house training bit down pat only about 90% of the time, but other than that, he's a miracle in the obedience department. I have a large back yard, so there is plenty of room for him to romp and eliminate but still... he sometimes likes using my wooden floors just as much. On the other hand... we had a Red Letter Day last week when Zebulon learned to walk down the steps to the back yard all by himself! Coming up was never a problem for him, but going down... major challenge.

One of Zebulon's favorite things is to climb upon my lap every night while I'm watching TV and be massaged for about a half hour. I think he likes my nails, but whatever. His coat is fluffy and soft and this is a total bonding regimen for us both. More importantly... Zebbie is WAY more fantastic than Ollie (my pet of about 2 months a few years back) given Ollie was making me sicker by the day. I was SO allergic to him that once I figured out what was going on, I had to return him so he could make some other family sick as hell, too. Zebulon would never consider such a thing. Thank God.

I always remember my Dad saying that when he kicked the bucket, he totally wanted to come back as Sunshine, our family dog, given Sunshine lived the life of Riley and more. That's pretty much how I'm feeling about this new pet since believe you me, he is living like a total King in his new home. Talk about no cares in the world and further, being fed and loved with no effort whatsoever on his part. Man. Has this dog got it made!

I almost feel like the really old people in a nursing home where they bring in animals for the oldie goldies to pet and enjoy as part of a happy therapy for connecting to someone. I'm so telling you... Zebulon would be the HIT of the place. And with good reason. He's absolutely the cutest, friendliest puppy you ever saw. 

In the meantime, I'm DEFinitely hoping Zebbie will carry me well into the end of my life so bingo. I'll be in tip top shape when I am lying on a gurney in some corridor of an old folks home with no nurses checking on me, yet will have my sweet little dog licking my face and wrapped within my arms, hence imagining I'm being well cared for. Except: this totally better never happen to me for I'd seriously just much prefer kicking the bucket altogether rather than wither away in an assistant living place. Besides... I find it a major waste of money to keep me alive when I have no mobility nor any clue what the fuck is going on in the world.

Regardless... all I can tell you is that I hit the jackpot alright when I found Zebulon. Equally... HE hit the jackpot when he found me. I'm so telling you. You could eat this puppy up in a SECond after having met him.    

Thursday, March 16, 2017


See Linda. See Linda's eyes. Linda can see. Linda can see afar once again. Maybe. Good luck to Linda.

OMG. Talk about miracles. For several weeks now I've been on pins and needles awaiting my first cataract surgery. My second comes in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, yesterday was for my left eye and I am so telling you, I can't believe what an f'ing breeze it was. Granted... I had to be at the hospital at six in the morning when the temperature was uh... a cool 17 degrees but so far it has been pretty much worth it.

Actually, the pre-op deal took way longer than the procedure itself. I am SOO glad it's over and I'm simply amazed at how wonderful all the doctors and nurses were to me. Initially I was pretty freaked about having surgery done on my eye, which had to be opened the entire time I might just add. But just like my doctor had told me... I felt absolutely nothing and could remember very little of the entire operating room. In fact... as soon as I left the hospital... about 8:30... we headed right smack over to the bagel shop where four of us hooked up for an excellent breakfast. So seriously. Just how bad could this cataract bit have been afterall, right?

Supposedly by the time I have the right eye done, I will have much better vision and I'm definitely looking forward to THAT. Also supposedly... I might even be able to get away with just MAYbe needing glasses only for reading, which if that should happen, would TOTally will be a miracle! My distance vision is a MAjor problem and I'm so telling you... if this surgery does in fact correct it, I'll have to kiss Jacques Daviel's feet given he is the inventor of this procedure in the first place. Of course that would be quite an unpleasant feat in and of itself since he basically kicked the bucket hundreds of years ago.

The post surgery instructions were pretty easy. Don't cough or sneeze which naturally I did just a few minutes ago. Don't bend over which naturally I completely forgot about an hour ago, when my cordless phone fell off it's base and landed behind my nightstand. Don't rub my eye which naturally I did immediately when I woke up from my nap a while ago. Don't sleep on my left side which naturally is my totally favored side. Wear what I call horse side blinder dark glasses for a few days which naturally I am doing with perfect ease. I can now wash my hair and perhaps even wear some light make up which is kind of a neccesity since I normally go NOwhere without at least foundation and mascara and blush, etc. In the meantime...

Whether or not my vision improves, the one thing I get a kick out of is how when I look out of my right eye I see everything in the color I'm used to seeing. BUT... when I look out of the left eye, I now see colors in way happier, lighter shades! It's incredible. Kinda like my girlfriend Marcia who told me she always thought her bathroom walls were a very nice pale beige color until she had her cataract surgery only to then find out they were completely white! Man. 

I can't even imagine what I'll be seeing once I have both eyes corrected. I'll freak if I discover that I've been mismatching colors in my wardrobe, home decor, and God only knows what else. Better yet... for all I know... the people I know, whom I figured were perfectly lovely, may in fact look way crappier than I ever imagined. Geesh. It just kills me that my eyes have been so compromised for oh so many years. 

My biggest goal here btw, is to be able to actually pass the eye test in 2021 when I go to renew my driver's license. Why they even checked it the last time, I have no idea but there is no way I'd be able to pass again without having had these surgeries. In fact, when my sister found out I needed correction in both eyes she pretty much wondered how I'm even driving NOW. Good question. Anyway...  

In the end, whether or not I will actually be able to see with more clarity from a distance, I have no clue. And it will almost matter not since what astounds me most right now is that the cataract procedure itself is so damn amazing, I can't even believe it. Of course I HOPE I'll be able to see better but I guess time will tell. I went for my follow-up exam today and so far so good! 

Of course my current eye glasses are now basically kaput since the prescription is now way off but in a couple of months when I go for my new script, yippee. I should be able to actually SEE. For now however... will have to let you know in 3 weeks when the OTHER eye is done. As in: take two.