Monday, October 19, 2020


Most of my readers know I love food. And usually, it can be anything from the crappiest junk food from a fast food restaurant to a fine dining experience at a high end establishment. I basically enjoy eating almost anything that’s put before me. My stomach is happy with pretty much any kind of food and my taste buds apparently are not all that discriminating. 

Well… wait. Let me clarify. Yes. I’ll eat most any food on the planet but I would never ever eat lima beans, black eyed peas, beef jerky, tongue or sweetbread… or any delicacies with insects, felines, etc. Yech. I get nauseous just thinking about those kind of items. But everything ELSE?? Oh man. I’m pretty much good to go.

Further… I have written often about my ALL TIME FAVORITE food on earth. You should all know it by now.

LOBSTER!

Not only is it delicious, but it is also such a sensual, epicurean delight. A close second btw, would be either a prime rib bone, a hot pastrami sandwich and/or french fries. But lobster always has been and always will be my No.1.

Which brings me to the picture up above. See that entrĂ©e? Guess why I’m so thrilled about it. Easy. I’M EATING LOBSTER. Oh Lordy, was I ever in 7th heaven. An entire pound of just lobster meat! It was a totally memorable evening.

Oh… not because I was able to dine on lobster, although as you can see… I was smiling from ear to ear. More importantly however, what made this such a memorable evening was…

IT WAS THE LAST NIGHT OF INSIDE DINING BEFORE ALL RESTAURANTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO THE PANDEMIC! Who the hell knew restaurants would be closed from then on??? Oh jeez. “Say it ain’t so, Joe”.

But unfortunately… it totally was so. (impressed I even know about Shoeless Joe Jackson, btw??) Anyway… I had no clue whatsoever that this would turn out to be my Last Supper. Believe me… had I known, I would have totally ordered 4 of these entrees and brought them home to eat for the next 2 weeks. Which really means: for the next 48 hours.

Regardless… I have not eaten inside a restaurant since. And that was almost 8 months ago. Have any idea how all his is killing my social life?? Not to mention my adoration of gastric pleasure? Even more… have any idea how much I LOVE HAVING PEOPLE COOK FOR ME? Think: ALOT. Which means: I have had to cook for myself more in the last 7 months than I have in the last 7 years, I’ll bet. And I don't mean just tuna sandwiches or cups of soup. I mean: REAL entrees! 

I hate grocery shopping, and even more, I hate cleaning up afterwards! Having someone serve me and then just letting me walk away with a full belly, is maybe the most self indulgent thing I can imagine. Seriously. I’m heavy into extravagance and I make no apologies for it.

WNTD: COOK. 5:00 pm TO 7:00 pm 4 DAYS A WEEK. WHITE GLOVE SERVICE NOT REQUIRED.

If only. Growing up, our housekeeper was always around for dinner prep and little did I know then what a fantastic concept that entire deal was! And… by the time my sister and I hit our teens, WE were the ones who cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher, etc. What? Child labor??

Which kind of reminds me of the time my mother told us we were to begin making our own beds each morning. Without missing a beat, my sweet, somewhat reserved little sister, with a scowl on her face, said:

UH, NO. Y0U HAVE SOMEONE MAKING YOUR BED! She’s  going to make ours, too. End of discussion.

Hence, I never once made a bed while living in my parents’ home EVER. Nor did I ever do a load of wash, btw. Yay my sister! Kind of a ballsy thing to say to my Mother but guess what? IT WORKED. Yay house help. Okay. So getting back to restaurants…

Finally… about a couple of months ago I began dining outside for lunch. I think the first restaurant I went to was a Japanese establishment. Oh Lordy… it was DELICIOUS and, a bit thrilling that I could once again have someone cook for me without my ever having to lift a finger, let alone without my having to do clean up afterwards. I was like a kid in Disneyland.

YES PLEASE. I’LL HAVE THE SCALLOPS WITH A TEMPURA VEGETABLE PLATTER AND A SIDE OF CHICKEN FRIED RICE. THANK YOU!

Boom. 10 minutes later THE  most delicious meal was set before me. Who could ask for more?? I felt, for about an hour and a half, that things were back to normal! YIPPEE. Since then, I’ve been to a Mexican restaurant, a magnificent cocktail party with finger foods galore, a terrific sandwich shop, etc. and in between, I’ve done a lobster dinner take out from the country club a few times. Oh… and Chinese take out, too. It seems like I might be getting back on track once again. Only one glitch:

Winter’s on its way! Already it’s too cold to eat outdoors in the evening. And pretty soon, daytime dining will be a stretch, also. EEKS. Thus… there goes my dining outside for several months. WHAT? I’M BACK TO COOKING FOR MYSELF ONCE AGAIN? Oh man. I so hate that. WNTD: COOK AND LIVE IN HOUSE HELP.    

Thursday, October 15, 2020

YAY! THEY'RE BACK!

 

Wow. Am I ever happy!! I can’t even believe what a great birthday gift I gave to myself several months ago and am I ever thrilled I did!

I mean it. I’ve been missing this so much and finally, in honor of quarantining, and of course not being able to have a party… I bit the bullet and I did it. Again.

I BOUGHT MYSELF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE RED EYEGLASS FRAMES! For the second time, I might add. Boom. Another $1000 down the drain but I don’t care. I have missed my other pair for YEARS.

As it happened, about 7 years ago, when I bought my first pair, I was headed out to a fancy schmancy party one November evening. I was all dolled up and decided that maybe the red frames were a bit too causal thus I switched out to my tortoise shell pair, which was the exact same frame, but only a tiny bit less casual looking. Maybe.

Uh… only one problem.

That switch out was the last time I ever saw my red frames ever again.  Don’t ask. I was heartsick.

I went through my entire house, every room, every drawer, every coat pocket, every anything. And… I did it hordes of times. Nothing. Gone. Kaput. Goodbye red frames for ever and ever. Plus… I had my housekeeper, my sister and then again a close friend of mine come over and comb my entire house, offering a reward to anyone who found my glasses. A damn nice reward, too. None of us could find a thing. Ever.

The first year I was just plain stymied when I couldn’t find my frames. The second year I was just plain stymied AND sad. By the third year, I just plain stymied, sad then merely in acceptance of it all. WHERE THE HELL DID MY FRAMES GO, ANYWAY??? THEY HAD LEGS?? THEY SIMPLY WALKED OUT OF MY HOME?? Shit. I can’t wait til I kick the bucket so that when my house is ready to be sold THEN, finally, SOMEone is going to find them! The worst part of course, is that I’ll never be able to learn where they were found!

So 7 years later, here I am.. quarantined. FOR MONTHS ALREADY. I still am, kind of. I even missed having my birthday celebration last May and THAT alone was a heartbreaker. Which only meant: TIME FOR RETAIL THERAPY AND BUY MYSELF SOMETHING EXTRA SPECIAL! I’m a total pro at this sort of project, btw.

Bingo. While in the opticians office one day in April, I made a decision. REPLACE THE RED FRAMES, DAMNIT. Cost or no cost. I deserved some thing fantastic that I loved and wanted! Well, that didn’t take long. Next thing you know, I was thrilled with the gift I gave to myself.

You can see them in the picture up above! My glasses and I are finally, a team, once again! YAY ME. Of course the optician was probably even happier than I. No wonder. I had just bought 2 new pairs of lenses and frames a week earlier. How much you want to bet my order on those alone went right smack into his mortgage payments for the next two months. Needless to say… I haven’t taken them off since. Remember when Tom Cruise said to Renee Zwellweger "YOU COMPLETE ME"?? Well guess what? I know how exactly how he felt! Well… sort of. I’m not a total idiot, but then again, not far from it, either.

Plus... you should have HEARD all who know me when they once again saw these frames. YOU FOUND THEM!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! WHERE WERE THEY?? Which only meant: I had to go into a whole song and dance about treating myself to this birthday present. Apparently I wasn't the only one who missed them. And I do have to say... everyone was as happy for me as I was.  

So the lesson here for all us?? If you are over 70, like me (holy shit… 73 next May) GO DO OR BUY WHATEVER YOU LOVE. And do it now! Who the hell knows how many days we have left here on this earth?? At least go out knowing you love what you have and have what you love.

Hopefully we'll all be smiling when we get to heaven. I know now, I will. Especially if they have doughnuts and french fries galore.

Check this out... me, happy again!


 


Saturday, October 10, 2020

A PERSONAL CRISIS



The distress I feel for how our country is suffering right now is incalculable. I can NOT believe the destruction of our cherished government during the Trump administration and how it’s caused such hatred between everyone… including me. You vote for Trump? Uh… guess what. I hate you. I know, I know. I’m not suppose to hate the person; just their vote. That’s all well and good for fair minded folks. Of which I’m apparently not one. Oh, I can be fair, but I’m totally not an idiot. Thus, I consider anyone who votes for Trump, as immoral and indecent as he is. Bottom line: our country is in a major crisis, alright! However…

My PERSONAL crisis is every bit just as distressing. If not more so, since after all, it IS about me. And let’s face it… while I’m as compassionate and loving as anyone you’ll ever meet… when it hits this close to home, then yes. I’m forced to have to say: uh… to hell with you and let’s focus on me, okay???

It all began a couple of months ago whereby I went to three separate grocery stores to stock up on my all time favorite and beloved… Caffeine Free Diet Coke. I may have even written about this before given I am happily addicted to this drink of choice and have been, for 50 years. So much for all those rats that kick the bucket from ingesting too much saccharine or aspartame. If I’m any proof, then apparently you CAN buck the system, for here I am at 72, absolutely cancer free. Well, so far, anyway. Soooo…

You can well imagine my horror when I was recently told that there is an aluminum shortage, thus Caffeine Free Diet Coke in a can is no longer being produced!!

WHAT?? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT??? WHO STOPS CANNING SUCH A MUCH NEEDED STAPLE OF LIFE?? Forget toilet paper. GIVE ME CANS OF CAFFEINE FREE, PLEASE!! Cans being the key word, here, but more about that later.

Okay. So when I saw that grocery stores no longer carried such an item, lickety split I went to Amazon and ordered 4 trays of cans, 35 cans in each tray. Which means I paid $180 for 140 cans. EEEKS. I know. I’m out of my mind. But… I did so with pretty much a huge smile on my face nevertheless, knowing I’d soon receive my poison of choice. THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS.

For afterall… yes, I COULD have bought Caffeine Free in plastic bottles in any store in town, but plastic is nothing I’d EVER normally consider. It doesn’t get cold enough. It doesn’t get cold fast enough. And it certainly doesn’t stay cold long enough. Believe me… there’s a REASON beer doesn’t come in plastic bottles! In the meantime…

This is where my beaming smile becomes a major frown. Yay. My order arrives. The UPS guy had to drag all these cans into my foyer because there is NO way I could have possibly moved 140 cans since they are SO DAMN HEAVY I’d have been in the hospital, in traction, for months! Seriously. I would have needed a fork lift. Anyway, the guy brings everything inside for me and I’m sooo glad to have my drink of choice once again back in my refrigerator. Talk about a Red Letter Day.

Uh… not so fast, however. Sitting down??

THEY F’ING SENT ME THE WRONG ITEMS!!

Turns out, the cans were regular, normal, caffeinated Diet Coke! Not caffeine free!! Can you beLIEVE it? SHIT. It was like being in college and you and he are in the throes of heavy foreplay only to realize you don’t have a condom! A MAJOR let down to say the least. In the meantime…

The cans WITH caffeine, I could have gotten in ANY grocery store in town!! I needed them withOUT caffeine. Oh man. I was so screwed, don’t even ask. Which only then meant: war with Amazon. Well… wait a minute… not necessarily with Amazon. Instead… with its 3rd party fulfillment and shipment company.

THEY were the ones who were nuts, because when I was directed by Amazon to contact the company directly, and spoke to the employee, a woman named Renee, she told me… are you ready for this???… well, yes. We sent you the wrong items and we sort of lied because we don’t actually HAVE the items you ordered, but if you would like to return everything, we will do it BUT… we will charge you $40 for the return.

WHAT??? IS SHE CRAZY?? HER COMPANY FIRST F’s ME OVER BY SENDING THE WRONG ORDER AND THEN MAKES ME PAY $40 TO SHIP IT BACK??? WHAT THE HELL PLANET IS SHE ON, ANYWAY?? Naturally, I’m seething at this point which is not all that difficult to imagine for those who know me. So much for patience being a virtue.

Sooooo…. After a lot of back and forth, I finally told Renee, in not so many words, to hell with you. I’ll settle this with Amazon. Which I totally did although admittedly, it took me four days and five people to accomplish this feat. Turns out that the fifth person I spoke to was FINALLY a lovely lady with brains, located in South Africa. I told her my story and she read through my entire file and bingo. I got my full refund!! Hallelf’inglujah. AND was told: forget having to return the Diet Cokes. Go ahead and keep it and just donate them to someone or some place and we’ll just call it a day. YAY ME. YAY SOUTH AFRICA. YAY AMAZON. Talk about mission accomplished.

Which is why you just gotta love Amazon. Oh. And btw, if don’t have Amazon Prime then YOU’RE nuts. While I always thought Google was the best invention known to man, a close second is definitely A.P. I could give up almost anything I have, but my Prime Membership??? Oh man. NEVER. Oh yeah… the last parting piece of information Ms. South Africa gave me was: be VERY careful about ordering from third party distributors. NOW she tells me.

In the meantime, you have any idea how badly I am ready to try this all over again?? I know. I’m a glutton for punishment for I am dying to try placing yet ANOTHER order for Caffeine Free, in the hopes that MAYBE some company can come through for me. Granted, I can’t help but think: will I never learn but seriously. I’d totally would love to try once again. Remember: there’s a personal crisis going on, here! I HATE THE PLASTIC BOTTLES. I will however, call Amazon first, and let THEM figure out whether or not I’m able to get the correct product.

Besides, I’m nothing if not persistent. Or… a fool.  Trust me. It could go either way.

Monday, October 5, 2020

WHAT? ME WORRY?



I don’t get it… the rest of the world is walking around as if nothing much is going on, basically whistling, happy as a little lark. ME?? Oh man. I’m like a wreck. And no, it’s not from my quarantining for six months, given I’m pretty happy staying at home and entertaining myself with bullshit. Besides, I’m out enough… a couple of times a week with friends, etc. … but I’ve got jussst enough laziness in me to stick around the house for several days at a time, busying myself with absolutely nothing of importance. Anyway… the reason I’m such a wreck, kinda, is:

HOLY SHIT. WHAT IF HE’S ELECTED AGAIN??? 

Am I the only one in the country freaking out because of this possibility?? Is EVERYone on the planet nuts?? Can’t they see that sheer horror can take place if he, who shall not be named, has another 4 years?? I can’t beLIEVE millions aren’t downing anti anxiety pills by the f’ing boatload. Honestly… you should have SEEN me the day of the first debate. I was nervous all day long and by 45 mins. into watching it and I was ready to explode. I had to turn the whole damn thing OFF. Seriously. It totally screwed with my nerves. My personality is such I’m rarely depressed, but man, can I ever be the poster girl for fear and/or anxiety. And who, more than he, can possibly be a bigger cause for a thumping heartbeat??

I also can not believe all the folks in my beloved democratic country are going to very possibly vote this bastard back into office yet again. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?? They are in love with autocracy? They love the destruction of our separation of powers? They love immoral, unlawful behavior? They love personality disorders? Or…

Do we just have a country whereby the voters are just plain fucking stupid? Uh… apparently we do. Don’t even get me started on the reality of OTHER dictatorial leaders meddling in our election. Which of course leads me right smack into…

I’m pretty damn happy, God forgive me, that he’s tested positive! Everyone else is bemoaning the fact the leader of our country is sick, in the hospital, and maybe critically ill. Me?? I’m like tap dancing all OVER the place. I kind of consider his having come down with this horrible illness as a major shot in the arm to possibly bringing us all back to a sense of normalcy. And decency. And btw… talk about total pay back! Did you SEE him traipsing out in the car yesterday, waving at all his supporters while most doctors are flipping out at such a stunt?? That was SO not in his medical orders directive. I’m no doctor, but trust me. Even I know that when a COVID patient is hospitalized, they are to STAY in the hospital. Jesus… is there no end to his egotistical choices of behavior? 

How can ANYone feel sorry for our President when he felt no empathy whatsoever for the citizens of our country... or in leading us to a healthier, smarter path of recovery... when they were dying by the hundreds of thousands?? What the hell is so HARD about directing everyone to simply WEAR A DAMN MASK?? Sure. No one loves wearing one, but shit, we are in the midst of a major pandemic! Consequently…

Here we are, with many governmental leaders testing positive as well! It’s crazy, I tell you. Crazy. Celebrations. Nominations. Congregations. NO MASKS, NO DISTANCING. Were it me, I’d sue the lot of them for compromising my personal health because they chose not to listen to science, let alone to their own scientific health experts! I’m telling you… this man totally thinks he alone "can fix it" and he alone is a sort of God. Man oh man. What a sick individual. No pun intended.

Okay. So I could go on and on with this ranting and raving. It’s sort of in my DNA. However… in this instance, I have REASON to rant and/or rave. I’m totally AFRAID of this election. It could be the turning point for our whole society and I am tired of Republican voters imagining he is deserving of another term. I’m also on pins and needles, which now could be for weeks and weeks, until I know whether or not Biden has won. Which basically means: uh, yes. I’m kinda a wreck. Shouldn't EVERYone be??

I so wished I could be like all the others I know, who are living with their nerves pretty much intact. They are concerned indeed, but they are also pretty grounded during these next several weeks until November. I am so jealous of their ability to be calm and just wait it all out. NOT ME. I like to worry and freak out until I know all will be well once again. Kind of like when your child or loved is sick and you are fraught with distress, but instead, need to be emotionally strong and just get through it. Bottom line:

Yes. I am calm and deliberate and controlled during a crisis. BUT WHEN ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE?? HOLY BA HOLY BATMAN. I can totally border on anxiety, fear and apprehension.

I know. I’m special that way. 


Monday, June 29, 2020

MYSTERY ITEMS


So I do have to say… one thing that maybe has come from this coronavirus deal is that perHAPS I have saved money. I haven’t been out enough to spend what I think would be my normal amount. Yet of course... since I would never consider living with a budget, let alone living within one, I can’t be REALLY sure, but I do have to think I’m ahead of the game moneywise. I kinda like to just buy whatever the hell I want and worry about the cost of it later. And so far, it's worked out pretty well for me, actually. 

Regardless… given I began spending a huge bunch of money in February on Amazon, in preparation for this pandemic, monies during the first three months were no longer high on my American Express card but instead on my Discover card. So maybe it all washed out in the end. Well, maybe not but who cares. Besides… by now, all my pandemic supplies are pretty much accumulated so I hope I’m good to go for a while.

Which means: my spending these past 5 months has basically been online but now it has been for mere pleasure. Like the sandals I bought in black and in white. Or the sheet sets I love because of their fantastic soft bamboo blend for summer. Or loads of downloaded books for my Kindle. The list goes on and on. Naturally, I have a record of everything I bought and receipts showing me from where I bought the item and it’s exact cost. With that in mind...

I can’t even TELL you how often an item reaches my door and I have NO CLUE WHATSOEVER what it could possibly be since I never remember what I’ve even ordered. It’s a major surprise when I open the package and then think to myself YIPPEE. NOW I REMEMBER. I AM SO HAPPY THIS ARRIVED. I'M GOING TO LOVE IT. YAY PACKAGES. It’s totally like having Xmas all year long. In the meantime…

See those two item up above??? TALK ABOUT A MYSTERY BOX. These two items arrived in the same box, but without a price receipt nor any info whatsoever about from what company it came. Nor had I any memory at all that I even ordered it, but almost kinda, sorta, maybe thought I did. But the mystery didn’t stop there.

I also had absolutely no idea what the fuck these items were FOR. I was soooo stymied, it was ridiculous! I looked and looked at them, and could NOT figure out for what or how these were to be used. No wonder it’s never a good idea to shop online at 3:00 in the morning. In the meantime…

One of the items I suddenly sooort of remembered what it could be for, but couldn’t be sure. So I took a guess and Googled what I thought the possibility might be. BINGO. I hit the jackpot and when I saw a picture… IT CAME BACK TO ME. EXACTLY WHY I ORDERED IT AND EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED. Duh. I couldn’t beLIEVE I had forgotten what this was all about. Anyway… one item down. One to go.

The OTHER item was simply beyond my attempting to guess what it was. I couldn’t even Google it given I had no clue what the hell words I could even enter to put in the search bar, SOOOO…

I wound up bringing it to my Breakfast Club of about a dozen women whereby we now have a local place where we can eat outdoors, bring our own food and chairs for distancing, and safely visit for a couple of hours each Saturday. In the old days we dined in a restaurant. Then for a couple of months we all Zoomed. Then eventually, we just got together outdoors. Regardless… I decided to do a show and tell and ask everyone WHAT THE F COULD THIS BE??

Boom!!!! Frieda guessed it’s purpose right off the bat! Seriously… how she came up with this, I have no idea. It was amazing. I still didn’t remember ordering it for that but… as soon as I got home, I Googled once more and SHE WAS RIGHT. More importantly.., I LOVE IT AND IT’S EXACTLY WHY I WANTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Yay!! Second mystery solved. Talk about thank God for small favors. Trying to figure it out would have driven me crazy for the rest of my life, believe me. So now…

You ready for the reveal??? Sitting down?? Here are the two items. YOU guess what they’re for! And no cheating.


Item number one:



Item number two:

Give up???

Well... guess what? The first picture is a fantastic cooking utensil... it makes poached eggs perfectly!! And easily! No fuss. No muss. You simply put your cracked egg into the colored cup, place it in a little bit of boiling water for about 5 minutes maybe, cover the pot and WHAMMO. In no time at all YOU HAVE EXCELLENT POACHED EGGS WHICH SLIDE OUT ONTO YOUR ENGLISH MUFFIN, OR WHATEVER, LIKE A BREEZE... AND BINGO, YOU EAT!! Omg. This was incredible. Okay... so the next item??

The second item is also fantastic... a major help in easily preparing... ready???... minced garlic!! Can you believe it? You just put your cloves onto a surface, move the handle back and forth over the garlic and next thing you know... perfect garlic for adding to your pot or pan. I LOVE THIS TOOL. No chopping. No pressing. No nothing. Just move back and forth. Totally a great cooking tool! Who could ask for more? Well... I guess asking for a decent memory would help, but apparently that's going out the window, but fast. In the meantime...

Oh man. All I can say is: I can't believe 1.) I had no idea what the hell I ordered 2.) I had no idea how to use these kitchen items or 3). that I was actually able to solve the mystery! Seriously... I would NEVER have known what to do with these unless I searched it out. What an idiot I am. On the other hand... I'm not all THAT dumb since in the end... I DID buy two great kitchen tools. 

Which by the way, I think you should, too! 

Friday, June 5, 2020

OWWW. IT TOTALLY HURTS!








Oh man. I am so glad this throat surgery is over. I can't even believe what a nervous wreck I had been leading up to it. Well wait. I wasn't a comPLETE total wreck, but by the time the night before this deal arrived, it then became a bit more scary. Actually... it wasn't so much the surgery itself I was afraid of, given I'd be way knocked out with anesthesia, so I wouldn't really feel any pain at that point. It was AFTER the procedure that scared the hell out of me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The doctor told me I'd have some discomfort, but it wouldn't be too too bad. Which of course I translated into: SHIT. THIS IS SO NOT GOING TO FEEL GOOD AND I SHOULD TOTALLY BE PREPARED FOR MAJOR PAIN. After all, there were stitches involved, an incision involved, some swelling involved, etc. etc. Add all that up and to me... it sounded like way more than mere discomfort. 

However, I must admit that in the end... the doctor wasn't completely off base. Yes, every time I swallow, I feel discomfort and that alone is unnerving. But as for GENUINE, REAL HARD CORE PAIN... no I'm not experiencing that at all. THANK THE LORD. It's like: uh, yeah, okay. This hurts like hell, but I think maybe I can get through this afterall. Keyword: maybe.


Everyday I wake up, hoping my throat will feel way better than the day before which is not exactly the way it’s working out. Damnit. Anyway... so far I'm surviving. Kinda.


I'm also SO DAMN HAPPY that the pathology report came back and YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE. There was no cancer found. Talk about thank God for small favors, right? Believe me… had it come back otherwise, I’d so have to simply say adios to everyone and call it a day for Living As Linda. Forever.

Anyway... 

I came home from the hospital, had my sister stay with me that afternoon and I then had hired help for someone to be here with me that evening. Just in case I kicked the bucket or something. I ate angel hair pasta, jello, pudding, popsicles, etc. etc. And... I took Percocet every few hours. Of course swallowing is no pleasant feat at ALL but at least I wasn't ready to jump off a cliff over it. I won't lie. It still HURTS to swallow but by now, I'm totally hungry enough to endure each swallow so I can get some sort of real food into me. Had I not felt the swallow deal with each bite I take, I'd be in tip top shape... but whatever.


So that was basically day one. Day two went along pretty well uh... up until dinner time. For the first time that day, I took half a Percocet around 6:00 that evening. WITHIN SECONDS I broke out in THE most horrible itching situation EVER. Everywhere from my head to my toes I was an itching mess. I GOT SCARED IMMEDIATELY. I knew it was a reaction from the med, given it happened within 2 seconds after downing the pill, but then on top of it all, an anxiety attack kicked in. I couldn't see this going down a happy path at ALL. In the end however...


I called the doctor, he called me right back, told me to get some antihistamine and take Ibuprofen and Extra Strength Tylenol and within about an hour an a half, I was back to humanity again.THANK YOU, DEAR GOD. Now I'm on day three.


Guess what? SO FAR, SO GOOD. Yay. I even spent some time with some friends, went to the grocery store, and had a normal life. I'm thinking I'll just have to kick back and hope I wake every morning with the healing and swelling going down lickety split and bingo. I'll be good as new. Cross your fingers everyone, for I so need this discomfort to be a thing of the past. Oh yeah…


A crazy, new extra thing has occurred. MY FEET AND TOES ARE SWOLLEN TO TWICE THEIR SIZE. This, I am not happy about at all. I normally have pretty decent looking ankles and toes. NOW? Now I have feet that look like Big Foot. I just now spoke to the doctor, who has no clue why this would be happening but... should this continue... YIKES. I HAVE TO GO THE ER TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON. Holy shit. Are you kidding me??? Just what I need.


All I know for sure is: this had BETTER be the last surgery I ever need in my entire lifetime. I am done with pain!! Which reminds me… I just swallowed. OW. IT TOTALLY HURTS!         

Thursday, May 28, 2020