INCREDIBLY OVERSIZED

I am totally one of those people who believe bigger is better. As in a car, for example. Or a diamond ring. Or even in a slice of chocolate cake. Little bitty entree’ portions that are made for an adult but which really would serve a 4 year old is complete lunacy.

Which is why I love Oreos. Yes… you can eat the really really thin ones, which I have done before, and which have made me perfectly happy. But… Oreos come in all SORTS of sizes and for that, I whole heartedly thank Nabisco for giving me the choice. Besides… there is no cookie on earth that comes in as many flavors as an Oreo… ESPECIALLY the Limited  Edition  ones. You’ve seem them before? The gingerbread flavor. The key lime flavor. The cotton candy flavor. I have one word for those, btw. UGH.

Believe me… I myself am absolutely loyal to the one and only original flavor… the chocolate ones! Red Velvet Oreos? Uh… total loser in the taste department, if you ask me. Granted I have fallen for the golden flavor a couple of times I think, but seriously…. chocolate Oreos are sheer perfection. Here… take a look at some of your choices. Can you even believe it?? Now THIS taste kitchen is definitely where you want to be!

And... as I’ve mentioned, not only do you get zillions of flavor choices but you ALSO get an astounding array of crazy ass size choices. Including the mini bag size which you can basically eat while merely strolling through the grocery store looking for OTHER foods. Check this out.

Given I am a self proclaimed expert on Oreos, I have happily come to the conclusion that the Mega Stuf is the only package to keep in your pantry; I have it in mine as we speak. And btw… you’re welcome for my taking the time to test all the sizes for you, since yes… size matters!

Which brings me to the most unbelievable one yet.

THERE’S NOW AN EVEN BIGGER SIZED OREO  ON THE MARKET! IT’S WAY AMAZING!

Seriously. My eyes nearly popped right smack out of my ever loving head when I saw them! I mean it! It looked like a freakin’ birthday cake sized Oreo! Here. LOOK! Can you fucking believe it?? Man. Hats off to the guy who invented THIS.

Which of course only means… just how long you think it took for me to log into Amazon and buy a bag? Think: SECONDS. It is called the MOST STUF and it’s HUGE. It’s also $30.00 a bag, but who the hell cares. When you see something this astounding you just HAVE to try it. And trust me… I will. On or about Wednesday, I think. I also think I should have some sort of ceremony for the unveiling of this tasty treat. The creation of other dessert possibilities with these are simply limitless, if you ask me. Although I am pretty lazy, so I’ll probably just stick to the cookie as is.

Oh yeah. If you REALLY want to learn about the origins of this cookie and a HOST of other foods… you so have to head on over to the History Channel and set your DVR to FOODS THAT BUILT AMERICA. It’s an oasis of great programming all about the beginnings of true American food. In this particular case, search out COOKIE WARS and boom… you’ll learn all about Oreos. 

Once you’ve seen that episode, totally go check out the shows on candy bars, cereals, fast food hamburger chains, pizza chains, fried chicken, etc. etc. These are perfect shows to watch while folding laundry, btw. Just saying. Talk about a plethora of interesting but useless information, which is so up my alley. It is just ASTOUNDING how all these people persevered in developing these food stuffs when others… like me for example… would have definitely given up in the first 5 days.

What I find interesting about myself is that while I adore fine dining and delicious delicacies of all sorts, I ALso adore pure crap junk food. Hence my love of Oreos. Indeed… French pastries for example are an unbelievably epicurean delight and I down them with pleasure anytime night or day. But… should you invite me to dinner and say we’re going to McDonald’s my first reply would be: GREAT! I LOVE BIG MACS! Which btw, you can totally learn all about in the Foods That Built America series. 

In any case… in the next few days I should be getting my first package of THE most expensive Oreos I’ve ever eaten. Not that I won’t order more mind you, given it IS afterall, a Limited Edition. I’ll hate to be enticed by this amazing cookie only to find out OOPS. THEY NO LONGER MAKE THIS SIZE. Of course why they would ever stop production of the MOST STUF is wayyy beyond me. 

All I can tell you is... stay tuned folks for the actual review. Which I can almost guarantee will be absolutely quite excellent! You can keep your Ginger Snaps or Pumpkin or Cinnamon cookies. Although you can certainly share your chocolate chip ones with me, if you'd like. BUT... make no mistake about it... Oreos are definitely No. 1 on my list. And, should be on yours too!