Monday, March 20, 2017


OMG. All I can say is: Zebbie is totally a miracle dog. I can't believe how good he is. How absolutely adorable he is. How amazingly smart he is. And best of all... he's hypoallergenic and does not shed!! That alone is worth a million bucks to me. Wrap that all into one sweet dog and bingo. I now have the most fantastic pet in the whole wide world. I mean seriously... is that the cutest picture you ever saw or what??

About six weeks ago, my college roommate told me she had just gotten a new puppy, with whom she was madly in love. Then she told me how he doesn't cause allergies and will not shed. Boom. I was sold immediately. So about a month ago, I told my son: please Google Havanese Dogs in our area and wouldn't you know it, less than 24 hours later we headed out for a two hour drive to check out our new puppy! Whoa. He was as good as gold from the moment we first saw him and it was like love at first sight. I can't even tell you how special he is. And, as I said... smart!

Havanese dogs come from Cuba, btw. The aristocracy bred them and used them as companion dogs which naturally is right up my alley. If it's good enough for aristocrats, you can be sure it's good enough for a plebe like myself. Zebulon btw is full bred, has registered papers from the AKC, weighs about 5 lbs and will probably get up to about 12 lbs which in my house is easy as hell to do in no time flat. 

He loves his little bedroom which basically is an excellent large red nylon puppy tent with netted windows on the sides that I keep in the family room. Uh... my entire house btw, is now filled with zillions of puppy toys and teething rings... almost more toys than I had in my kid's playpen way back when.  Anyway... 

It took us almost no time at all to set up the house for this new pet of mine and trust me... had my son not done all the ground work, there is no way I would have ever been able to pull this thing off. Zebulon, aka Zebbie, is now three months old and has been a sheer delight. Of course he has the house training bit down pat only about 90% of the time, but other than that, he's a miracle in the obedience department. I have a large back yard, so there is plenty of room for him to romp and eliminate but still... he sometimes likes using my wooden floors just as much. On the other hand... we had a Red Letter Day last week when Zebulon learned to walk down the steps to the back yard all by himself! Coming up was never a problem for him, but going down... major challenge.

One of Zebulon's favorite things is to climb upon my lap every night while I'm watching TV and be massaged for about a half hour. I think he likes my nails, but whatever. His coat is fluffy and soft and this is a total bonding regimen for us both. More importantly... Zebbie is WAY more fantastic than Ollie (my pet of about 2 months a few years back) given Ollie was making me sicker by the day. I was SO allergic to him that once I figured out what was going on, I had to return him so he could make some other family sick as hell, too. Zebulon would never consider such a thing. Thank God.

I always remember my Dad saying that when he kicked the bucket, he totally wanted to come back as Sunshine, our family dog, given Sunshine lived the life of Riley and more. That's pretty much how I'm feeling about this new pet since believe you me, he is living like a total King in his new home. Talk about no cares in the world and further, being fed and loved with no effort whatsoever on his part. Man. Has this dog got it made!

I almost feel like the really old people in a nursing home where they bring in animals for the oldie goldies to pet and enjoy as part of a happy therapy for connecting to someone. I'm so telling you... Zebulon would be the HIT of the place. And with good reason. He's absolutely the cutest, friendliest puppy you ever saw. 

In the meantime, I'm DEFinitely hoping Zebbie will carry me well into the end of my life so bingo. I'll be in tip top shape when I am lying on a gurney in some corridor of an old folks home with no nurses checking on me, yet will have my sweet little dog licking my face and wrapped within my arms, hence imagining I'm being well cared for. Except: this totally better never happen to me for I'd seriously just much prefer kicking the bucket altogether rather than wither away in an assistant living place. Besides... I find it a major waste of money to keep me alive when I have no mobility nor any clue what the fuck is going on in the world.

Regardless... all I can tell you is that I hit the jackpot alright when I found Zebulon. Equally... HE hit the jackpot when he found me. I'm so telling you. You could eat this puppy up in a SECond after having met him.    

Thursday, March 16, 2017


See Linda. See Linda's eyes. Linda can see. Linda can see afar once again. Maybe. Good luck to Linda.

OMG. Talk about miracles. For several weeks now I've been on pins and needles awaiting my first cataract surgery. My second comes in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, yesterday was for my left eye and I am so telling you, I can't believe what an f'ing breeze it was. Granted... I had to be at the hospital at six in the morning when the temperature was uh... a cool 17 degrees but so far it has been pretty much worth it.

Actually, the pre-op deal took way longer than the procedure itself. I am SOO glad it's over and I'm simply amazed at how wonderful all the doctors and nurses were to me. Initially I was pretty freaked about having surgery done on my eye, which had to be opened the entire time I might just add. But just like my doctor had told me... I felt absolutely nothing and could remember very little of the entire operating room. In fact... as soon as I left the hospital... about 8:30... we headed right smack over to the bagel shop where four of us hooked up for an excellent breakfast. So seriously. Just how bad could this cataract bit have been afterall, right?

Supposedly by the time I have the right eye done, I will have much better vision and I'm definitely looking forward to THAT. Also supposedly... I might even be able to get away with just MAYbe needing glasses only for reading, which if that should happen, would TOTally will be a miracle! My distance vision is a MAjor problem and I'm so telling you... if this surgery does in fact correct it, I'll have to kiss Jacques Daviel's feet given he is the inventor of this procedure in the first place. Of course that would be quite an unpleasant feat in and of itself since he basically kicked the bucket hundreds of years ago.

The post surgery instructions were pretty easy. Don't cough or sneeze which naturally I did just a few minutes ago. Don't bend over which naturally I completely forgot about an hour ago, when my cordless phone fell off it's base and landed behind my nightstand. Don't rub my eye which naturally I did immediately when I woke up from my nap a while ago. Don't sleep on my left side which naturally is my totally favored side. Wear what I call horse side blinder dark glasses for a few days which naturally I am doing with perfect ease. I can now wash my hair and perhaps even wear some light make up which is kind of a neccesity since I normally go NOwhere without at least foundation and mascara and blush, etc. In the meantime...

Whether or not my vision improves, the one thing I get a kick out of is how when I look out of my right eye I see everything in the color I'm used to seeing. BUT... when I look out of the left eye, I now see colors in way happier, lighter shades! It's incredible. Kinda like my girlfriend Marcia who told me she always thought her bathroom walls were a very nice pale beige color until she had her cataract surgery only to then find out they were completely white! Man. 

I can't even imagine what I'll be seeing once I have both eyes corrected. I'll freak if I discover that I've been mismatching colors in my wardrobe, home decor, and God only knows what else. Better yet... for all I know... the people I know, whom I figured were perfectly lovely, may in fact look way crappier than I ever imagined. Geesh. It just kills me that my eyes have been so compromised for oh so many years. 

My biggest goal here btw, is to be able to actually pass the eye test in 2021 when I go to renew my driver's license. Why they even checked it the last time, I have no idea but there is no way I'd be able to pass again without having had these surgeries. In fact, when my sister found out I needed correction in both eyes she pretty much wondered how I'm even driving NOW. Good question. Anyway...  

In the end, whether or not I will actually be able to see with more clarity from a distance, I have no clue. And it will almost matter not since what astounds me most right now is that the cataract procedure itself is so damn amazing, I can't even believe it. Of course I HOPE I'll be able to see better but I guess time will tell. I went for my follow-up exam today and so far so good! 

Of course my current eye glasses are now basically kaput since the prescription is now way off but in a couple of months when I go for my new script, yippee. I should be able to actually SEE. For now however... will have to let you know in 3 weeks when the OTHER eye is done. As in: take two.