Friday, February 28, 2014


All I can say is: shoot me now. What a crazy ass bullshit day today was. Oh... it didn't start OUT that way... but man... NOW?? Holy M.F. is all I can say. So get this...

I get up nice and early so I can get to the store to pick up my new iPad Air which the salesman and I were going to set up. Yippee. Mission accomplished. Cesar had things going spiffy has hell for me and I got back home in the early afternoon, naturally having a dandy ole time playing with all sort of items on the new iPad. I was totally loving it. Until about an hour into it, that is. 

It's about then that I got a call from Claudia. UH... I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS... DIANE PASSED AWAY. What??? Diane??? WHEN?? HOW?? JESUS CHRIST. THIS IS CRAZY!! Believe me... I was so startled I could hardly wrap my head around it all.

So it's important to know here that Diane is my first cousin. We were born two days apart. Both our Mothers were in the hospital at the same time and she was born on the 17th and bingo. I was born on the 19th. Which pretty much meant we totally grew up together. All through elementary school Diane and I were best friends forever. In high school we had sorta gone with separate crowds but that really doesn't even matter. What does matter is that as kids we spent zillions and zillions and zillions of hours together. Playing, shopping, sleepovers, shared birthday parties, etc. etc. We were even in several classes together in school. Get the picture?? We were as tight as two cousins could possibly be, with our 60th birthdays being the last time I had spoken to Diane. 

Okay. So anyway... come to find out yet another cousin called Claudia today to say... OMG. I JUST HEARD FROM DIANE'S BROTHER AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS. DIANE PASSED AWAY LAST NOVEMBER!! The fact the brother didn't tell any of us way back THEN is another story altogether but whatever. I was simply in a state of shock. I couldn't believe this entire story. Needless to say I hopped right smack on the phone and found out Diane passed away from kidney/liver cancer and other problems. Apparently she had some surgery that uh... I guess... didn't turn out so great. Besides, what the hell does it even matter anymore. In the meantime...

Just how long you think I've been a total mess since I got this little tidbit of news?? Think: all fucking day long!! I mean seriously... it was one thing to find out about this turn of events, but to also learn Diane died SIX FRIGGIN' MONTHS AGO? Is that a joke? The family couldn't have told any of us THEN?? WTF were they THINKing?? Man. So after a couple more calls back to Claudia, I just had to then call Janet, who knew both Diane and I way back when and was even some of our classes together. Thank God Janet was home when I called since I totally needed to get grounded once again.

As I told Janet, what I also can't get over is JUST HOW MANY OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS are kicking the bucket at age 65 or younger!! What the hell is THAT all about?? Man. I am in total shock. Janet keeps me up to date about all the kids with whom we went to high school and way too many have died, if you ask me. It's just all so freaky. And then... 

Things don't necessarily don't get better given what happened next. In hopes of dealing with this latest shock... about two hours after all this occurred... I go back to my iPad thinking yippee. It would help me relax and process things a bit by taking my mind off everything. Big mistake. Big MAJOR mistake. All I can tell you is I am a total idiot because next thing you know... I head to the computer to transfer pictures from my desktop to my iPad and in doing so... sitting down? I ERASED ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FROM THE iPAD!! I mean: Everything! It's totally back to HELLO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SET UP YOUR NEW DEVICE NOW?? What??? Are you kidding me?? I erased everything that Cesar had done for me six hours earlier??? Everything I have no clue whatsoever how to ever do myself??

Oh. My. God. That's all I can say. I am so f'ed it's ridiculous. I have no idea what button I clicked on in iTunes, but man oh man, it was completely the wrong one. Thus... not only do I have no photos but now I also have NO iPAD. So basically... guess where I'll be at noon tomorrow, all over again.  SITTING DOWN WITH CESAR WHILE HE RE- SETS UP MY ENTIRE iPAD!! AGAIN. 

I so wished I drank hard liquor. I would down three shots but FAST. On the other hand, I was on the phone with Diane's brother tonight for maybe an hour and a half and believe it or not, it did bring me great comfort. Meaning: I now need only two shot of hard liquor. Talk about not being able to wait to get into bed tonight and bringing this entire day to an end.

Thursday, February 27, 2014


This latest shopping spree of mine began last weekend when I was at the big mall. Little did I know when I began my day that any kind of financial restraint was apparently going to go right smack out the window.

It began with a beautiful bed cover that matches the exact Spa Blue color that I needed... oops, I mean I wanted... for my bedroom. I saw it and bingo. I basically said wrap it up, not even taking a look at what the price was. I totally overspent, but who cares. I love it on my bed. Yet another reason btw, why it's always good to have your own separate checking account. 

Next thing you know my five year search for beautiful white flats is finally over! Man... I am so tickled I can't believe it. I always began my search in May, given that's when summer basically kicks in for me. Big mistake. Who KNEW that February was the time white flats come on the scene? Thus another great purchase to add to the bed spread. Which now means three new stunning pairs of white flats are now sitting my closet. All three are a bit different yet all are so pretty and comfortable. One even has the perfect amount of bling. So up my alley.

Then yesterday, after my manicure and pedicure, I headed a few doors down and checked out Pier One since I really needed to replace two side tables on my patio deck. Which is also something I normally waited to do in May. Again... who KNEW that they are actually shown in February?? Finally, I'm getting the hint and finally I found just what I needed. Yippee. The deck is now complete other than next month when I can begin placing pretty flowers in all the planters.

Add to that purchase, my yearly addition of a wonderful Buddha. This one is a cream colored ceramic Buddha-like statue which I totally love. It's very delicate looking compared to the others I own since this one is not as big and bulky. Maybe about 10 inches tall but perfect for my bathtub surround. I'm still deciding on what to name him. THEN... as I'm walking out of the store...

What do I see but PERFECT bar height stools for the kitchen counter overhang! I have waited years to find something I really love and yesterday was apparently the day. I am thrilled with this particular purchase, indeed. Not only can I actually sit upon one and watch TV while downing some crappy meal I made for myself, but now I can actually work in the kitchen while someone is sitting there, entertaining me by chit chatting, staring at me as I move all around. Excellent purchase on my part. You can check them out in the picture above. Better yet... come over and sit your sweet little ass on one. I love company. 

The BIG delight however, is tomorrow when I go to pick up my new iPad Air that is waiting for me at the AT&T store. I finally got the hint that my first generation iPad is ready for a replacement when it began taking weeks to download new app updates. Plus my old one doesn't have any of the great features that the new one will. I must say... I'm pretty psyched. Supposedly it's going to be much faster, too... and I AM into speed. No pun intended.

So I'm kinda thinking that this weekend I totally better stay out of stores. Enough already with my spreading the wealth amongst my local shop owners. Besides, I better save the bucks to deal with this little mass I have in my neck which will be scanned on Monday. Just what I need... a deadly tumor to contend with now that I've happily got every materialistic thing I'll ever need. Dear God... please don't let me die. Thanks. Amen.    

Sunday, February 9, 2014


As we speak, iTunes is playing on my computer. I decided listening to the Beatles as I write might give me some kind of inspiration although to be frank, I really don't need inspiration. Afterall... we're talking The Beatles here. Oh yeah. I probably should tell you right off the bat btw, that I was always the person who put Elvis in the number slot rather than The Fab Four. What can I say? The King is the king.

Don't get me wrong, however. There are zillions of Beatle songs that I absolutely love. Including zillions of their solo songs once the band broke up and branched out. I mean seriously... the minute I hear the opening chords of Paul McCartney's Jet, I get all psyched and as soon as it starts to move into the song itself, the rocking of the rhythm along with all the instruments has me up and dancing all over the place in seconds flat. I totally love it. And, I played the White Album and Sergeant Pepper a million times over while in college. As for Lennon... he's in a class all his own. But even Ringo and George had a few that I also loved. Which reminds me... did you SEE Ringo at the Grammy Awards? Oh man... he looked way too thin to me which then of course made me want to scream into the TV... GO EAT A DOZEN DOUGHNUTS IMMEDIATELY. But whatever.

In the meantime... 50 years ago today the entire country changed. THE BEATLES WERE IN NEW YORK! ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW! And boy did they ever make an impact. THE PEOPLE WERE SIMPLY CRAZED WITH HYSTERICAL DELIGHT. Don't even fucking ask.  I never saw such a thing. Ever. Not even when I mySELF saw them a week later in Miami Beach. February 16, 1964 to be exact. When I was 15 years old. It was THE hottest ticket in town, but I was not even CLOSE to the raving fanatical girls going absolutely crazy in the audience.

Granted... both Claudia and I loved the hottest Number One records of the Beatles at the time, but neither of us remember being so damn stricken with orgasmic delight as was everyone else in the crowd. It was more like: YIPPEE. ISN'T THIS A GREAT DEAL?? WE GET TO SEE THE BEATLES PERFORM LIVE! It was far from: OMG. I THINK I MAY TOTALLY DIE FROM THIS MOST EARTH SHATTERING, LIFE CHANGING EVENT EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. Which I probably felt more of when first I saw Elvis, Elton John or Tina Turner in person. We must have been idiots I guess because we had no clue whatsoever we were basically viewing a MAJOR part of history. A subject which Claudia majored in college, btw.

In the meantime, here we are 50 years later and The Beatles are STILL the most amazing band ever. Their songs are STILL the most beloved of all. Paul and John are considered musical genius's and I can't think of a living human being that can't tell you their alltime favorite Beatles tune. Nor where they were when John was shot.

In fact some of my absolute happiest musical moments were when I was in my mid 20's, at a friends' house, TOTALLY blitzed, head phones on, stereo BLARING and listening to George Harrison and Leon Russell sing BEWARE OF DARKNESS in Bangladesh. I swear... I was so high that this song took me to an entirely different universe EVERY DAMN TIME. Which of course is why I repeated this exact scenario HUNdreds of time back in those days. I couldn't help it. The lyrics and rolling melody carried me away like nothing ever before. Bottom line: don't tell ME that drugs don't help create fantastic artists. Nor that they don't help listening to fantastic artists. It was a total win-win situation. 

Oh yeah... get this. The song for my first dance as Mr. and Mrs. at my wedding?? SOMETHING. Uh... Abbey Road for any of you unknowing Beatles fans out there. And with that... am off to watch the special which naturally I'm recording. No wonder. They are by far... the greatest band of all time. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014


I totally loved Dr. Geltzer. He was great looking, knew his craft and DEFinitely helped me to look a hell of alot better. Uh...the huge gap between my two front teeth wasn't adding any too much to my school girl looks. Anyway, I must have known Dr. Geltzer for what? A good 4 years maybe?? I was nine when I first met him. And it was a big deal, too.

So who WAS Dr. Geltzer?? Why MY ORHTODONTIST, OF COURSE! He helped ALL us wide gapped, crooked and/or buck teethed kids by putting braces on our teeth and trust me... this was WAY before tongue rings and even grillz. Teeth grillz like you see there in the picture above. Had he dealt with kids wanting THIS sort of look... oh man... I am almost SURE he'd have flipped.

Which is too bad, for fast forward 55 years and boom. Here's what the world now looks like. TEETH GRILLZ! Omg... I am so sure that were I young once again, I'd be hightailing it over to Dr. Geltzer in no time flat, telling him: hook me up! Man. I mean seriously... diamonds on my teeth?? That would be the ULTIMATE bling if you ask me. And I'm not talking the sort that those in the hood would be sporting. Instead, I'm talking the sort that the today's celebs are sporting!

Case in point... you happened to have caught Madonna at the Grammys a couple of weeks ago? Oh man... she was grilling alright. As in: gold square grillz on her teeth. And her young kid who was with her wants them, too. I do have to admit however that I didn't like Madonna's choice of grill, but who cares what I think. The ones I DO like are kinda like the one up above. Can you even imagine??

Plus, I'm even thinking these grillz, if made and applied correctly, could probably do double duty as the retainers we used to wear on our teeth after our braces were removed. Retainers which if I remember correctly I lost twice and then had to have replaced. Now THAT would be one hell of a good looking retainer, if I say so myself. Pricey, granted, but who's counting.

In the meantime, you ever even HEARD of grillz before this? Turns out it's jewelry for your teeth that came from.. what else... the Hip Hop culture. You're welcome btw, for that tidbit of pop culture education. And like so much in fashion, the look originates from the baser types of trends seen on inner city streets. Totally opposite of haute couture, let's say. However... the influence of the street teens can easily been seen in high fashion. Uh... think: jeans purposely torn on the ass or knee caps. Started out almost as a ghetto fad and bingo. Next thing you know, someone's paying $200 for the look.

Anyway... I totally love the idea of really great looking grillz on my teeth. Even if only for 30 minutes, I'd still get a kick out of it. Naturally everyone I know would gag the minute they saw me, but who cares. I'm going with the celebs.