Tuesday, October 27, 2015

MOTHER NATURE SINGS


Boo Hoo. Too bad for you.
Tee Hee. Yippee for me.

Oh man... how anyone could not want to live near me is simply unimaginable. Can you beLIEVE this is exactly what I see right smack from my bed when wake up each and every morning??? OMG is all I can say. It is just sooooo beautiful right now you almost have to get down on your knees and say a prayer every day, thanking God for living among the most stunning leaf coloration ever. It takes my breath away each and every year. And THIS year is simply magnificent. 

It also ALmost keeps me from staying on the road as I'm driving down the streets, given all I want to do is stare at the trees all over the city. I mean: like how much better can it possibly get that while you're out and about doing really crappy errands or whatever yet all you see is an amazing blue sky and trees of all colors. Brilliant red, orange and yellow. It's mind blowing is all I can say. Nature's paradise, for sure. I feel badly for those of you who have no idea of what I'm speaking. Let alone who cannot enjoy such beauty on a daily basis. Don't even get me STARTED on the fantastic cool temperatures, either.

Throughout the 13 years I've been living up here, I have taken hundreds of pictures of the autumn trees and/or leaves. I can't help it... it just never ceases to amaze me. Nor can I ever get enough. Even the really really cloudy days are stunning. I think I have one more time for my lawn man to come mow my yard before his break until Spring thus it's usually my clue to go get my annual pumpkins. I love having them on my doorstep outside my front door sort of as a homage to this favorite season of mine. Plus... because of the brisk weather... the pumpkins can easily last for a good six weeks.

Which reminds me by the way: for those of you keeping count, I am proud to say that I still have a good amount of pumpkin pie still left in my refrigerator which means I went way beyond my fear of downing it all before three days' time. Whew. I'm not a gluttonous freak afterall. I think I've had the pie for over a week so far, and I bet there is still about a quarter of it left. Thank God for small favors. Besides... pumpkin pie has fewer calories than lots of others, which is just the sort of news I love to hear. Anyway...

Mother Nature is indeed a powerful woman with powerful songs, alright. Uh... just think of the recent rains in Columbia, S.C. which by the way was but 2 hours away from me. Man... that was totally CRAzy. But while indeed, Mother N does do dramatic damage in all sorts of ways, all over the globe, what she provides in Autumn almost makes up for it all, in one fell swoop. What you see in the picture up above is THE exact reason I left South Florida and have never ever looked back. Plus... the temp outside right now is a fantastic 51 degrees. You just can't get better than that. Of course later this week it will go up to 65 for the high and that too, is meteorological magic.

The fact I can have my windows and doors opened all day long, having hard core fresh air dance throughout my house for a good 8 months of the year just makes me soooo very happy. For as you know... every summer I want to slit my wrists, enduring the heat and having the A.C. on 24/7. Which makes me think about all those hotel rooms that have windows which don't even ALLOW for opening, and how it is nothing short of sheer madness. Why anyone would want to block such a treat is beyond me. I totally can't stay at such a site. Gives a whole new meaning to: throwing your money out the window for being cheated except in this case, you literally CAN'T throw it out even if you wanted to. 


In the meantime, tonight was the first night that I wore my heavy winter coat. Not my mink coat, mind you but still... a heavy coat. 51 degrees afterall, is nothing to take lightly. So there you have it. I get to enjoy this stunning beauty and unfortunately many of you can not. And btw... even when it's 18 degrees outside during winter... I still wouldn't change where I live. Not for a million dollars. Well. Wait a minute. Then and only then would I ever reconsider. Afterall, I'm not a comPLETE idiot. But... don't be surprised if I stay put, regardless.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

NEWEST CRAVINGS


So it's goodbye to my addiction to everything beef, seared scallops, tilapia fillets, frozen corn, etc. etc. This past summer was hello to my newer daily obsession of shrimp salad day and night, along with fresh cut up fruit. The kind the store cuts up, not me. Am way too lazy.

Then about late August I began to get a major craving for pie. In particular... pumpkin pie. Which by the way, was absolutely no where to be bought in the entire city.

Apparently the stores consider this a seasonal food thus not even September had pumpkin pies. Not Sam's. Not Fresh Market. Not my regular grocery stores, bakeries and not even WalMart which yes, I did indeed check. Granted, I could have made my OWN pumpkin pie, but why bother. I guess I could have even bought a frozen one, but I wasn't into that either. I wanted a REAL hard core baked pumpkin pie from a store and/or bakery. 

Enter: October.

Thank God for a million reasons, that Autumn is here. The days are stunning and the weather is even more stunning. It was 32 degrees when I woke up this morning, but that was brief and as we speak it's a delicious 65  outside. Then of course, there's the coloration of the leaves, but I will admit it hasn't totally kicked in yet, like it's supposed to. However... who cares given guess what. PUMPKIN PIES HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED.

I am soooo thrilled I can't even tell you! And... when I was in the bakery department of Fresh Market last evening, the lady said: Your lucky day! I just took out a freshly baked pie just 30 minutes ago!! Which is what you see in the picture up above. SOOO DELICIOUS. And HUGE. And oh yeah... as you can see... I just can't stop eating it!! I'm obsessed with it and am simply tickled pink about it, too. My jones'n is finally being quenched! Hallelujah!

The pie got to my house approximately 7:00 last night. 

IMMEDIATELY I took three bites. Then I did my yoga workout and boom. Three more bites. Then midnight. Yep... 3 bites yet again. Woke up this morning... bites for breakfast. And, the tastings have not stopped yet. Frankly, I am in utter FEAR that in a 24 time span I will have eaten more than half the pie ALL BY MYSELF. And trust me... I could easily eat SO much more if I didn't think my Mother would yell at me. Which of course she can't but regardless, I can hear her in my head nonetheless. WHO THE FUCK EATS A WHOLE PIE ALL BY THEMSELVES?? WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? Uh... unfortunately, maybe me. 

DEAR GOD... PLEASE LET IT TAKE ME AT LEAST THREE DAYS TO POLISH OFF THIS PUMPKIN PIE ALL BY MYSELF. I SO DON'T WANT TO BE A BIG FAT PIG, STUFFING THIS INTO MY MOUTH IN RECORD TIME. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN.

And by the way... another craving I've been od-ing on for over a month now is Chicken Pot Pie. A food I haven't eaten in 35 years!! But I went to a restaurant a while back and on it's menu was a picture of this fanTAStic looking item... a pot pie. My mouth began watering immediately! I had originally wanted the huge cobb salad yet the pot pie nagged at me uncontrollably. I caved. I ORDERED BOTH DINNERS. I figured big f'ing deal. I'll eat half of each at the restaurant and take the rest home. Excellent decision on my part, I must say. Plus... I've had Chicken Pot Pie three times since! Calories much??

I don't know why I get on all these rolls where I need to binge eat one particular food at a time, but I must admit, it seems to work out just fine for me. It's like I get the craving, I give into it for a month at a time, let's say and then whammo. I'm ready for the next culinary delight to kick in. I'm heavy into hotdogs now, too. I was at the country club for lunch yesterday and even there, I ordered one for lunch. It totally wasn't a Hebrew National, but it mattered not. I downed it with true gusto.

So all I can say is... how long this pumpkin pie will last, God only knows. But I can tell you one thing for sure... this is so not the last one I'm going to buy. I figured I'll be plenty tired of it so that by Thanksgiving, yippee. I'll eagerly be thrilled to binge on delicious pecan pie in its stead! Another great epicurean delight if ever there was. As opposed to sweet potato pie which btw, would never touch my lips in a million years. A total rip off in the pie category, if you ask me. 

Oh yeah... and in closing... in a little while I'm headed out to dinner with a friend tonight and get this... we're going for what else... a PIZZA pie. Apparently I'm an equal opportunity kind of girl when it comes to food being round and can be cut into pieces. Man, I love food. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

T MINUS TEN

Oh boy. This so can't be good. Especially if anything happens within the next ten days. EEKS. So what's this countdown all about? Oh man. Sitting down? Well... hold on. Let me explain this as it happened. Then you can sit. 

So I'm on the phone with Barbara earlier this evening, chit chatting about all kinds of crap. As I'm speaking to her... I like keep scratching my waist, which I happen to see is pretty red. Almost like the sort of rash I used to get when I'd get hives many years ago. Whenever I got unnerved, it wouldn't be unusual for me to get hives but bingo. I'd then take some medicine and all my skin woes would settle down. However... 

Sometime during the phone conversation tonight, I happened to mention that the right side of my waist was all kinda red and itchy but unlike when I'd get hives, there were no raised welts developing. It was then that Barbara sort of mentioned... Oh yeah. Maybe you've got shingles. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.

WHAT?? SHINGLES?? ME?? TOTALLY NOT AT ALL WHAT I WANT! DON'T EVEN BREATHE THE THOUGHT. LET ALONE SAY THE WORDS OUT LOUD. So then I got to thinking....

My scalp has been very tender to the touch of my hairbrush the past two days. Plus it kind of stung it a few places. Yesterday I was also pretty tender and itchy behind my ears. Then of course was this evening's waist redness. OH. MY. GOD. Say it ain't so!! Shoot me now!

I couldn't think of anything to which I may have been allergic recently, so this shingles thought was still in my head as I showered tonight, trying not to think about it. But SOMEthing was amiss, since I just couldn't figure out why all these little signs were popping up in the past 36 hours. Like: WTF was going on, anyway? THEN of course...

I remembered how everyone always says: the sooner you catch the symptoms of shingles, the way better off you are. Which got me to thinking even more. As in: if I DO have shingles then guess what. I'll be way better off if I head my ass outta here and get a diagnosis lickety split. The sooner you begin treatment, supposedly the less you'll feel the effects. 

Enter: Hello emergency room. Which is exactly where I headed about 9:30 this evening. I totally didn't want to close out my window of opportunity regarding catching this condition before the pain got really bad and I'd want to slit my wrists altogether. Kinda like: nothing lost, plenty to gain. Sooo... bingo.

I got to the ER and God must have looking down upon me or something because I do have to say... things looked pretty quiet there tonight. Plus... I'll bet I wasn't in my examining room more than 15 before the doctor came in, examined the redness around my waist, checked my scalp, etc. etc and then told me: Well.... true we don't see any blistering yet but things do look suspicious enough for me to give you two prescriptions to be filled tomorrow. And btw, I'm giving you 60 mg of Prednisone to take right now. WHOA. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? HOLY MOTHER F-ING SMOKES.

The Prednisone script will act as a corticosteroid and the other script will be an antiviral medicine. All I know is I pray the meds work so that if I DO have shingles, things will be way milder than if I didn't have them. And yes... there is a chance things could become a bit worse pain wise, but frankly... getting this jump start on all this was probably the smartest thing I've done in WEEKS. 

I do have to say btw.... within a half hour of taking the first dose of Prednisone, the itchiness and waist rash is way better than it's been all night long. YIPPEE. Maybe I'll have a  really mild case afterall. If indeed I do have shingles. And yes... I did have the shingles vaccine several years ago, so again, maybe that will help, also. 

DEAR GOD... PLEASE DON'T LET ME HAVE SHINGLES AND IF I DO, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SUFFER WITH THE SORT OF PAIN THAT SO MANY PEOPLE SAY MAKES THEM WANT TO DIE RIGHT SMACK ON THE SPOT. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN. 

Afterall, I know plenty of people who've had this virus and it was absolutely no walk in park, whatsoever. In fact, many have said it was THE worst pain they've ever felt. And trust me... I HATE pain.

So basically... here I am, counting the hours before I can head out to fill the prescriptions tomorrow. AND according to the ER doctor... if pain actually does become really severe, I have to go to my internist and get hard core pain pills. Not that I don't already have some, but what the hell. Can never have too many in your Personal At Home Drug Store. In fact... according to the Linda School of Discomfort, why even wait for pain to kick in? Why not get a jump start on it immediately! This is a perfect case of: being prepared is being spared.

In the meantime, I'll head to bed tonight SO happy I made the decision to get an early start on a possible major problem. I can't wait to see what sort of condition I'll be in when I wake up tomorrow morning. Please keep your fingers crossed I turn out to be okay because I'm so telling you... if this does turn out to be a crappy case of shingles, I will NOT be happy. 

And if I'm not happy... then by all means... feel free to send me plenty of presents please, to naturally cheer me up. Thanks. For God knows I'll need it.    


  

Friday, October 9, 2015

BEN


Don't even get me STARTED on this character, Ben Carson. I so hate him, it's ridiculous. Which is something I alluded to in my last posting. How he ever became second in the Republican polls is beYOND me. Even as a top notch surgeon, I'm not even sure I'd be able to handle him given he speaks as if he's been on downers for YEARS. Add to that the simply ludicrous things he says and boom. You have a total idiot at your finger tips. 

Naturally, I can't get past his creationism, especially since he is a scientist of sorts. Must have been SOME college science course he took, alright. Secondly... really? He thinks we should go ahead and charge towards a mentally disturbed guy holding an assault rifle or semi automatic or God knows what else, pointed right at us and hence stop the massacre?? Is he nuts?? Would not crouching behind or under something that could block his view be a better tactic in such a case? 

On the other hand... were Ben with me when being attacked with gun fire then yippee. I'll GLADLY push him right smack into the aim of fire. As I've noted before... for Carson to imagine the kids at Sandy Hook Elementary should have ran right up to the shooter rather than seek hidden protection is in my mind not only disturbing, but more so, depraved. God almighty. How scary IS this guy, anyway? 

As if that's not enough... what about Ben Carson's latest deal? The Holocaust could have had much lesser evils had the German citizens only had lots more personal weapons. No need to really have done away with Hitler himself. Instead... its gun control that was the problem! I shudder to think: so then, exactly just how many Gestapo police you think would invade a Jewish home in the middle of the night and say... I'm here to steal your art, gold, jewelry, children and lives but oh yeah. You can keep all your guns. Oh man... I am totally this far from wanting to throw up. 

And oh yeah... Carson had the NERVE to compare Obamacare with slavery!! Plus as way of bolstering his point about homosexuality being a choice, he said: going to prison as a heterosexual will totally make you gay by the time you're out. I am telling you... if ONE person in this country votes this man into ANY office they should be shot on the spot. Though be careful. Ben will come right smack at you. Besides I would SO love to see who it is that casts a vote his way. I pray it's only two people. Ben himself and then his wife.

Anyway, I could go on and on about this lunatic. The frightening thing of course is that Carson is SECOND IN THE POLLS. Oh my God. The world HAS gone crazy. Way quicker than I originally thought. Which reminds me.... HOW MUCH AM I LOVING ALL THE CHAOS IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES?? The Republicans are in a complete frenzy and I'm tickled pink. Which I really shouldn't be, given this is all going to prove just how dysfunctional our entire government has become. 

Which can't possibly be a good thing. Remember the days when the House actually got things done to better our lives? Actually passed laws that helped the citizens of the U.S.? Actually understood the concept of working for the people. Let alone understood the concept of compromise?

Given all this Ben bullshit btw, Donald Trump almost looks like Winston Churchill. Or FDR. Even JFK. Granted... each of those men had their flaws but still... they were statesmen, nevertheless. Seriously... you have to go to Google, search crazy Ben quotes and bingo. You won't believe what stupidity this man voices. Case in point: dead bodies are better than gun control. Can you beLIEVE it??    

My only saving grace about Ben is that if you ask me... there is NO way the Republicans would want 2 black men in a row as President. So there. I've ranted and raved all I can for the moment. Besides... in just the time it took me to write this entry, I've been to the bathroom THREE TIMES since my stomach is totally all in knots over this man. Should he ever become the nominee... I can only pray Kim is his running mate and then for SURE I'm packing my bags. And in closing...


Indeed... I took the month of September off from posting any entries. Not intentionally, mind you, but whatever. I totally thank all those who've written to me, asking when the hell am I getting back to my blog. In that vein... bingo. Here you are... 3 new postings! The first two were sitting on the sidelines until I did some proofing, etc. thus I figured I'd wait for the third. 

I'm almost thinking I'll write next about the upcoming Democratic debate but am already pretty bored about it all since not one of the candidates thrill me in the least. In fact... given my huge issue on gun control, unless any of the candidates declare they're for outlawing guns altogether, I just may sit out the 2016 election. They're all fucking nuts.

WHITE CHRISTMAS


So today I figured I'd give you a heads up... no pun intended... about how my journey with my white hair is faring. In case I hadn't mentioned it sooner, I stopped coloring my hair last April. I'm pretty psyched about it, too. I totally decided I wanted to see what my natural hair color would be, way in the hopes I'd have white hair as beautiful as my Mother's.

I do not want salt and pepper and I certainly don't want dull grey. I want WHITE. Or pretty close to it, anyway. And according the Linda School of Probability, I'm thinking that by Christmas, I just may pretty be much there. And this is with SHORT hair, mind you. Had I still had my longer hair... it'd have been 4 years before it'd all be grown out! I cannot beLIEVE how long this project is taking!

In the beginning of this journey I checked ever 10 minutes to see if I yet had white hair. Now, it's only daily; particularly every time I walk past a mirror. Plus... I poll every person I've ever spoken to each time I see them, to ask what color they think my hair is. Many say: it's almost there! Almost all white. Others say I think it's kinda all silver. Which btw, I think might be the correct color. A light silver, I guess. And get this. For just as many who say white/silver, are just as many others who tell me my hair is still blonde!! Which pisses me off completely. I don't want blonde! I want white! Beautiful, stunning white!

Regardless... I have decided it all depends upon what sort of light under which I'm standing while questioning these people. In outdoor sunlight?? White! Indoor yellowish light bulbs? Blonde! Actually it's a mix of both at this point. As you can see in the picture up above, the longer side of my haircut is still blonde, but almost looks washed out by now. Getting this blonde all grown out in the front btw, will take forEVER, I see. What people with really dark roots do, I can't even imagine. At least with me, it blends in SOMEwhat when you see me in person.

So basically, I'm soooo looking forward to Christmas, by which time I'm praying that the blonde will totally be gone. But then again, I may have to make that New Year's at the rate I'm going. Hell. For all I know... it could be all the way to April before I'm all white and/or silver, which is exactly when I beGAN this journey in the first place. Man. Talk about having to be patient. I could have had a baby in this time period!! Well, wait. Time out. I could NOT have actually had a baby given I do believe you need to have a uterus to do so, right? Oops. But regardless, you get my point. I will say this however... whenever I wear black clothing, the light silver hair does sort of look fantastic, if you ask me. Add some incredible diamond earrings and bingo. I'm off to the races.  

In the meantime, you can tell by the picture up above sort of what I'm talking about here. See how f'ing long it's taking me to be rid of the blonde? And... trust me... I'm not a particularly patient woman, so this is a test, indeed. I mean seriously... I need to wait more than six months?? And... I've STILL got a long way to go. My beautician even got me some special kind of shampoo to cut the blonde a bit and bring out the white. It helps, but minimally, if you ask me. Believe me. If I DIDN'T want white... I bet it'd have been down to my shoulders by now. It's totally crazy.

Then of course, once it IS white... or whatever color... I then have decide whether or not I even like it. I'm thinking I will, but never say never. I will admit btw... the back is in fact already all white. I've gotten rave reviews but then again... these are probably the very same people who told me how perfectly fine I looked before I had my nip and tuck. Shows what they know. What I know... is that if this entire process takes this long for me, especially with such short hair, I can't even imagine how people with shoulder length hair even attempt such a journey. It borders on: can't be done! 


In closing let me just say: Ben Carson is a COMPLETE idiot. He expects kindergarteners to charge the assailant? Is he fucking nuts??? I hate you, Ben. And with that... only 80 more days until Christmas! 

@gmail.com


I've decided recently that I am sort of becoming anti-email. I can't help it. My inbox is like WAY over loaded with daily incoming mail, and I don't mean with spam, either. I mean with email from wonderful people who have perfectly wonderful things to say to me but still... my problem is that the amount in my inbox often becomes soooo overwhelming. At which point, most people just go through their mailbox every day, delete what they don't want, and probably even reply right smack on the spot. Boom. Done.

Me however? I get absolutely freaked. I don't even know where to begin in terms of reading the mail thus a lot of times I merely look in my mailbox, see the listings of incoming mail and go HOLY SHIT. I am totally being overtaken by this damn inbox! So F. Y. Gmail. I'm not opening even one email, so there! And then of course I immediately log right smack out of Gmail, wishing I had some sort of anti anxiety med to help me handle it all. 

Well... wait a minute. Of COURSE I have anti anxiety meds... what woman in their right mind doesn't??? ... but to take one due to inbox woes?? So not the purpose for downing an Ativan. I'd rather save it for way more important moments; like when Bonnie or Teresa God forbid can't make it to work one day. Or when I go for a piece of chocolate only to find I already ate the last one two days ago. But whatever.

In the meantime... I totally love that my cell phone gives me a heads up as to incoming mail. At least that way I can prepare myself for sitting down at the computer to open my mailbox. I NEVER do email via phone nor iPad btw, simply because it is sooo much easier to read/write on a 19" inch screen. Both my phone and my iPad are used simply for ease of notifications.

As a side note, btw, it's now at a point where whenever a group of my friends and I are dining together we ALWAYS put an iPad down as part of the table setting for the exact purpose of searching questions we always have during some discussion at the table. Case in point: the other day the big question was: exactly how old IS Meryl Streep, anyway?? Obviously if we're dining out, we totally use our cell phones to immediately Google whatever info it is we need, lickety split. So basically, how we ever socialized withOUT our devices is beyond me. Besides... now we get to say: HEY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT and hence we have the corrected info at our finger tips within seconds. 

Anyway... back to email. In Gmail, they love to store Spam in a separate folder altogether and every so often I remember to check the folder. In fact, I remembered to do it one day just last week and sitting down?? 339 spammed emails!! Is that a joke???? Btw... I could have had my penis enlarged a hundred thousand times by now were I 1). ever so inclined and 2.) I even had a penis to begin with. Plus... I have more than one email account so don't even ASK how this adds to my woes. One of those accounts I don't even check but twice a year maybe since anybody who really wants to contact me would never send email to that account anyway. And even that collects hundreds of incoming mail. 

All I know is: I'm beginning to become major anti-email.

Well... except for love letters, of course. Or sale alerts from Nordstrom's. But seriously... who can keep up with it all?? I can't possibly be the only person in the world with this problem, right? On the other hand... what to do about the people you really DO want to hear from. As in: let's say you send mail, you're totally awaiting a reply and like me, they take their pretty little time about it. Given one can't hock the shit out of them saying WTF is taking so long to hear from you, it sort of gives me a bit of a problem that not even Gmail can resolve.

But I figure I can. As in: those kind of people immediately go onto my S**t List and I probably will never again bother having them in my life anymore. Boom. Problem solved. Nothing lost, nothing gained. Granted, I rarely have had to take such measures but I must admit... in the 2-3 times I've had to, turns out such a measure works out pretty well for me in the end. And yes, I realize this is hypocritical on my part, but as for me... I'm not stalling due to disinterest. Rather, it's due to being overwhelmed. Big difference.   

In the meantime my best advice for sending email to me is: DO IT NOW. Why? Because just today I cleared all my accounts of bullshit mail thus my mailbox is pretty much all caught up to date. I should be able to easily read, reply and do so within a totally acceptable time frame. As in: mere hours. Yippee. I feel like a new woman again. 

And oh yeah... if I DO find I'm overwhelmed all over again... please be patient. I WILL get back to you. Unless of course you're on that S List.