Friday, October 9, 2015

@gmail.com


I've decided recently that I am sort of becoming anti-email. I can't help it. My inbox is like WAY over loaded with daily incoming mail, and I don't mean with spam, either. I mean with email from wonderful people who have perfectly wonderful things to say to me but still... my problem is that the amount in my inbox often becomes soooo overwhelming. At which point, most people just go through their mailbox every day, delete what they don't want, and probably even reply right smack on the spot. Boom. Done.

Me however? I get absolutely freaked. I don't even know where to begin in terms of reading the mail thus a lot of times I merely look in my mailbox, see the listings of incoming mail and go HOLY SHIT. I am totally being overtaken by this damn inbox! So F. Y. Gmail. I'm not opening even one email, so there! And then of course I immediately log right smack out of Gmail, wishing I had some sort of anti anxiety med to help me handle it all. 

Well... wait a minute. Of COURSE I have anti anxiety meds... what woman in their right mind doesn't??? ... but to take one due to inbox woes?? So not the purpose for downing an Ativan. I'd rather save it for way more important moments; like when Bonnie or Teresa God forbid can't make it to work one day. Or when I go for a piece of chocolate only to find I already ate the last one two days ago. But whatever.

In the meantime... I totally love that my cell phone gives me a heads up as to incoming mail. At least that way I can prepare myself for sitting down at the computer to open my mailbox. I NEVER do email via phone nor iPad btw, simply because it is sooo much easier to read/write on a 19" inch screen. Both my phone and my iPad are used simply for ease of notifications.

As a side note, btw, it's now at a point where whenever a group of my friends and I are dining together we ALWAYS put an iPad down as part of the table setting for the exact purpose of searching questions we always have during some discussion at the table. Case in point: the other day the big question was: exactly how old IS Meryl Streep, anyway?? Obviously if we're dining out, we totally use our cell phones to immediately Google whatever info it is we need, lickety split. So basically, how we ever socialized withOUT our devices is beyond me. Besides... now we get to say: HEY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT and hence we have the corrected info at our finger tips within seconds. 

Anyway... back to email. In Gmail, they love to store Spam in a separate folder altogether and every so often I remember to check the folder. In fact, I remembered to do it one day just last week and sitting down?? 339 spammed emails!! Is that a joke???? Btw... I could have had my penis enlarged a hundred thousand times by now were I 1). ever so inclined and 2.) I even had a penis to begin with. Plus... I have more than one email account so don't even ASK how this adds to my woes. One of those accounts I don't even check but twice a year maybe since anybody who really wants to contact me would never send email to that account anyway. And even that collects hundreds of incoming mail. 

All I know is: I'm beginning to become major anti-email.

Well... except for love letters, of course. Or sale alerts from Nordstrom's. But seriously... who can keep up with it all?? I can't possibly be the only person in the world with this problem, right? On the other hand... what to do about the people you really DO want to hear from. As in: let's say you send mail, you're totally awaiting a reply and like me, they take their pretty little time about it. Given one can't hock the shit out of them saying WTF is taking so long to hear from you, it sort of gives me a bit of a problem that not even Gmail can resolve.

But I figure I can. As in: those kind of people immediately go onto my S**t List and I probably will never again bother having them in my life anymore. Boom. Problem solved. Nothing lost, nothing gained. Granted, I rarely have had to take such measures but I must admit... in the 2-3 times I've had to, turns out such a measure works out pretty well for me in the end. And yes, I realize this is hypocritical on my part, but as for me... I'm not stalling due to disinterest. Rather, it's due to being overwhelmed. Big difference.   

In the meantime my best advice for sending email to me is: DO IT NOW. Why? Because just today I cleared all my accounts of bullshit mail thus my mailbox is pretty much all caught up to date. I should be able to easily read, reply and do so within a totally acceptable time frame. As in: mere hours. Yippee. I feel like a new woman again. 

And oh yeah... if I DO find I'm overwhelmed all over again... please be patient. I WILL get back to you. Unless of course you're on that S List.       

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