Thursday, April 28, 2016

THE COVER STORY

Some things just don't need explanations. Kinda like the covers of the New Yorker Magazine... a mag that I've read since my early 20s. It began publication in 1925 and to this very day has had the most fantastic coverage of content. As in: reports, fictional stories, satire, reviews, commentaries, profiles, etc. etc. and best of all... pointed, ingenious cartoons. All of which is about current culture and naturally is centered around life in New York. Although don't be fooled. Zillions of people all over the country read this periodical and have done so since it's inception. Bottom line: this magazine is TOTALLY widely respected.  

In particular... the New Yorker is known for it's covers. FANTASTIC covers, I might add. Hence why I adore these covers given so many times, the depictions are so spot on let alone so damn creative, filled with incredible humor. Not to mention: just plain brilliant. They just don't need explanation. One look at the cover and boom. You get it. 

BTW... up above you see the cover of the very first publication. Sooo New York-ish for way back then. Anyway...

The New Yorker is also know for it's hilariously funny cartoons. In fact, throughout the years, I have often given the hard covered editions of collections of these cartoons for gifts. I think they publish the cartoon albums in 25 year increments and you can spend hours just skimming through these books, laughing your ass off, thinking: how DO these people come up with such great humor? The inherent wit holds up year after year. Regardless...


Today's entry needs very little words; besides I could go on and on about these covers. Instead, I'll just show you some of the magazine's greatest recent ones and hopefully you too, will see how exceptional the creative aspect of them are. I love Kim Jong-un's the best I think. However... they're all totally great! See if you too, get a chuckle. If you don't... then what can I say? It's time to come out of your cave.

DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT


(I of course adore all three)


OBAMA CARE


TOTALLY SCARY


TIME MARCHES ON


COVER SAYS IT ALL


NEVER MEANT TO CAUSE YOU SORROW...


THE FIRST CARTOON COLLECTION









    

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

JOB WELL DONE


I totally have to give myself credit. As I've mentioned before... ever since the Pantone Color Institute announced that Rose Quartz was their color of the year, I have made it my full time job to be sure I secured every fashion garment known to man and in my size, to create a wardrobe of the the most stunning pale pinks ever. I looked in stores, I looked online, I looked everywhere... and as of today... I have to completely pat myself on the back. Yippee. Mission finally completed!! And I am thrilled to no end.

I now have a fantastic wardrobe of beautiful pink slacks, tops, cardigan dusters, sweaters, crop pants, accessories, skirts, gaucho pants, etc. etc. You name it, I bought it and thus added it to my zillions of other pieces of clothing. In every thing from casual to dressy, from winter weight to summer weight, from cheapie costs to pricey bucks... and everything in between. Some people create art work or music or gardens. I create a major personal wardrobe. And frankly.... I just couldn't be happier.

My extensive search pretty much ended the other day however (I hope) with a delivery from Neiman Marcus where I found in their online Last Call department the most stunning pink cashmere dress/tunic you ever saw. The shade of pink is THE perfect color and I was delighted not only to have received it but also to have worn it the other night to the MOST fantastic two hour show of Elvis' best songs EVER. I swear to God... the guy was almost better than Elvis himself! I didn't even have to die to go to heaven.... I WAS in heaven right smack there in the theater. But.... I digress. 

How much money I may have spent on all these lovely pale pink clothing items, I have no clue. But I couldn't care less because the bottom line is: once this year is kaput, that will totally be it for Rose Quartz selections. A new color of the year will enter in 2017 and boom. My chance to load up on my favorite color... other than white... will gone forever. Oh yeah... I also loaded up on some simply gorgeous pale blues, too.

Which has all come about just in time for Spring. So far the weather this Spring has been outstanding and you can so be sure I'm wearing my pale mints, pale pinks and pale blues like there's no tomorrow. Well except for tonight that is, given I'm headed to a catered barbeque and I wouldn't dare take a chance of spilling only God knows what in the lap of my pretty pastels. I mean I'm pretty good at laundering stains but seriously. Barbeque sauce on pink? Totally can't be a good thing.

What IS a good thing, btw, is the fact that after two weeks on Prednisone for my lower back, my feet are FINALLY coming back to normal size. Oh man. I can't beLIEVE the swelling I was dealing with last week. It was so freaky. I totally love my ankles and yet for  the past week they were triple the size! Let alone the withdrawals I was having from the drug. Jesus. I felt like I was coming down from coke or something. VERY weird. 

On the other hand, I LOVED the speed that must be in the med for I am telling you... like I think I've mentioned in another post... I got more chores done in 2 weeks than in the past 12 months! It was soooo fantastic. Granted, the 4 day crash from it all was not pleasant at all, but hey, was totally worth it given I checked HORDES off items off my To Do list. In the meantime....

I'm going to see Amy Schumer this weekend... yippee!... and I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing pink. Which reminds me of that Pink Moon picture you see up above. Despite the color, the moon doesn't actually turn pink, but regardless, the American Indians... may moons ago... decided to call the April full moon the Pink Moon in honor of the pink flowers that grow during Spring. 

And I can totally vouch for that. You should SEE the stunning magenta pink rhododendron blooms I now have on the plants in my front garden. OMG. Soooo beautiful and totally pink. The exact pink, btw, that I DON'T want in my clothing. Way too intense in the color dept. if you ask me. For outdoors? Fantastic. For my wardrobe? Uh... no thanks. On the other hand if it's good enough for God, maybe it should be good for me. But I'm totally not sold on it yet. Here. Check out the blooms for yourself. Outstanding, right??




OMG. I'M IN TOTAL SHOCK. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Just as I typed that line about not being good for my wardrobe, I happened to look down and lo and behold you won't beLIEVE what color pink is in the top I'm wearing, as we speak!! I have on a great white tunic with lots of pale pink geometric flowers printed on it... ALL OUTLINED IN THE EXACT DEEP MAGENTA PINK THAT MATCH THE RHODODENDRONS THAT ARE IN THE GARDEN. Wow. I had NO clue I had that deep pink color in my closet let alone currently on my body. Man. That's so nuts especially since I love this top and wear it often. Jesus. Yet again... what a jerk I am.


In the meantime I've major binged, listening to Purple Rain a zillion times already. Sooo f'ing great. 

BAPTISTS' GOT TALENT


Oh man... I so can't believe what happened when I woke up a couple of Sundays ago. Well... the second time I woke up, anyway. 

I first got up about 8:30 and puttered around until CBS SUNDAY MORNING came on TV, which btw just possibly COULD be the best show on the airways, but whatever. I then got back into bed to watch it at 9:00, and the next thing I know, I'm back fast asleep until 12:15, with the TV still on. I know. I'm blessed that way. Regardless... as I awakened once again, eyes still closed, I heard on television this incredible singing from an incredible chorus and I couldn't iMAGine what the hell it was all about.

Turns out: I was listening to this AMAZING choir, made up of zillions of people on stage, from the First Baptist Church of Spartanburg... a city about an hour away from me. And lo and behold this choir was singing their pretty little religious hearts out to praise God like all get out. Regular people from the congregation no less. I could not believe my eyes nor my ears. The voices flabbergasted me and I swear to God... no pun intended... they so could be on America's Got Talent. And, they could actually WIN. The soloists were fantastic and together with the orchestra and backup chorus, boom. These people are going straight to heaven for SURE. Some songs were totally rockin' it. Some were were mellow. All were praising God like nothing I've ever seen before. Big overhead screens, major musical and/or speaker set ups, astounding soloists and a really talented choir.

It was crazy because I was totally MESMERIZED by these people. I sat up in bed, not able to move, and watched for at least 25 minutes, thinking any day now I could easily become a Baptist myself. I can't even tell you how huge the sanctuary was! Plus, I almost feel as if one Sunday I've totally got to take a ride to this place and check it out in person. This could even almost certainly become a tourist stop for anyone who comes to visit me. 

GUESS WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY? WE'RE GOING TO CHURCH! TO HEAR AN INCREDIBLE RELIGIOUS CONCERT! DON'T WORRY... GOD WILL BLESS US FOR LISTENING. BESIDES, YOU'LL LOVE THE SERMON. Then of course we'll go have some bagels, lox and cream cheese afterwards. Even some cherry cheesecake. Or maybe some matzah ball soup, for all I know. Anyway...

What struck me even more was the fact 1.) no one on stage was wearing a choral robe 2.) everyone could sway anyway the music moved them and most importantly... 3.) everyone was 40 years or older!! As in: up to the age of 75, for sure. Major blue haired seniors SO rocking it for God! I am so telling you... this church choir, singing all kinds of praises to God, had me but good. I couldn't move. As I said... I was so damn focused on this deal it was almost embarrassing.  

Now I do have to say that in my tiny little city, Baptist churches are a dime a dozen. I don't get it but man... they fill each and every one of these churches every Sunday . Don't even go near one at 11:00 on a Sunday morning for you'll be embroiled in a traffic jam as if you were on an L.A. freeway. It's nuts. Where everyone lives, I have no idea for my town isn't even that big. I also have to say... Baptists are notorious for being some mighty religiously and morally strict people. Dancing, swearing and drinking are pretty much taboo. Add to that a SOUTHERN Baptist and whoa. You totally have squeaky clean and lily white followers. HUH? PORN?? WHAT'S THAT??

Therefore suffice it to say, they'd want ME in their midst for all of about 10 minutes and then bingo. They'd send me on my way but FAST. Trust me... Dr. Don Wilton, the pastor of the Spartanburg church, would totally cringe were we chitchatting it up at some cocktail party, let's say. Oops. I forgot... no liquor allowed, so it'd have to be a coketail party at best. My political views alone, would put the pastor into a frenzy, I am sure. Recreational drugs and premarital sex could make him drop to the floor altogether. Although I do love listening to him speak given he comes from South Africa and I must admit his voice/accent is kinda catchy alright.  

It matters not however since basically while I'd love to see this BLUE HAIR CHOIR OF N.C. in person, I just have to watch it on TV. I could never be up and out in time to make an hour's trip to see this Baptist church in person. Besides... were I to begin attending on a weekly basis  I'll so have to switch up my religious affiliation and I definitely am not into that. I love to dance, swear, drink cocktails, watch racy movies and vote liberal too much. So not what Baptists are into.

An even better reason for not seeing this choir in person... regardless of HOW much singing talent they have... is the fact WHO THE HELL WANTS TO GET UP FOR A 9:00 OR 10:00 SERVICE ON A SUNDAY MORNING, ANYWAY?? What time do these people go to bed on a Saturday night?? 10:00 p.m?? Frankly... I can hardly even be ready for breakfast by 11:00 at a restaurant a mere ten minutes away, even. So much for my becoming a religious zealot in the Southern Baptist Church, I guess. Speaking of which...

Let me just close with this simply delicious tidbit about a REAL religious zealot... Ted Cruz. I so pray (no pun intended) this turns out to be true. It's right smack up my alley alright. Check it out and then hopefully we can give Ted the boot once and for all.
Hello Heidi ?? Sitting down??