Tuesday, January 26, 2021

SHOOT ME UP, PLEASE

Talk about it doesn’t take much to amuse me. But in this case… IT’S A BIG DEAL, IF EVER THERE WAS! I am so psyched about it and well I should be. Guess what happens on Friday.

I GET MY FIRST DOSE OF THE COVID-19 VACCINE!

I can’t even believe it! Especially since soooo many people I know have already gotten theirs. No wonder. They are 75. I’m only 72. BUT… YAY. The Health Dept. here lowered the age requirement and IMMEDIATLY I got on the phone and began calling the listed numbers for an appointment.

And calling. And calling. And calling. Don’t ask. The first day they were taking those under 75, I got on the phone and redialed the number over and over and over again. What a suprise: WE CAN’T TAKE YOUR CALL RIGHT NOW. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER. Oh, I tried alright.

I tried on Thursday. Then Friday. Then Saturday. Then I took Sunday off, thinking it was the Lord’s Day for many in the phone bank and after all, I totally wanted to be respectful. But on Monday morning… since I was already up, awaiting the arrival of Bonnie, my personal assistant… boom. I began calling lickety split at about 10:30 in the morning.

Trying to get through for an appointment btw… is not for the meek or docile personality. Rather, you had BETTER be ready to be tested for: ABILITY TO NOT BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT UNTIL SOMEONE ANSWERS THE PHONE. Luckily I passed such a test, for I called repeatedly for about a half hour and THEN IT HAPPENED. Hallef’inglujah! For…

You should have HEARD me when someone finally answered!!

You’d have thought God himself had picked up my call. The first thing I said to Amy was: WOW! YIPPEE YIPPEE! I AM SO GLAD TO YOUR HEAR A VOICE! I TOTALLY NEED TO GET YOU A PRESENT! I AM SOO THRILLED I’LL NOW BE ABLE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR MY VACCINE! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

Naturally, Amy chuckled a moment but she was just so happy to help me. I still couldn’t believe I got through on the phone lines! So… basically, once this Amy answered, in no time at all, I got my appointment and was smiling from ear to ear. THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS is all I can say. I have GOT to send her a full array of cupcakes or SOMEthing! She so deserves it. Amy was so patient with all my questions, told me exactly what I needed to know, and was just so sweet during the entire call. Plus…

After we locked in MY Friday appointment… I then asked her uh… could I also make one for my sister and brother-in-law, too? WHY OF COURSE YOU CAN! Was she serious? It was that easy?? Man. Was I ever in heaven, dancing all over the place. I told Amy she SO deserved a raise! AND… get this…

Turns out… just as we were about to hang up… a thought occurred to me. Like a light bulb went off in my head. I had apparently asked from where she was working, and when she mentioned the Community Outreach Dept. of our local hospital, I said WAIT. OMG. IS THIS AMY SO AND SO?? To which she said YES! I THOUGHT I RECOGNIZED YOUR NAME!

Boom. This was the exact same Amy who was my very first bank officer when I moved here almost 20 years ago and who is simply the BEST. Adorable and bright and oh, so sweet. After having climbed up the ladder of the banking system for many years, Amy then moved on to our hospital, apparently heading up the community liaison department. What better places to know people? Your bank and your hospital, right?? Money and health are WAY up on my ladder of importance. Anyway…

By the time Bonnie arrived, I felt like I was floating on air, telling her how I gotten an appointment for my vaccine! The bill paying job we had before us suddenly became secondary to all my glee. All I needed to know was: I WASN’T GOING TO DIE, AFTERALL. Instead, I was going to be vaccinated and then pray if I ever DID contract Covid 19, at least I’ll suffer like hell in the hospital, but will probably be able to walk out weeks later to spend the rest of my life recuperating. At least I hope so, anyway.

Interestingly enough… I immediately texted my son, who is the lead Physician Assistant at an urgent care facility. He was so happy for me! And… he then called me that night SO RELIEVED I was getting the vaccine. HE of course, had gotten his a month ago given he is considered an essential front line worker.

But apparently when he learned I was going to finally be able to get MY vaccination, he was as thrilled as I was. In fact, because of his unusual concern and relief, I had to ask him:  ARE YOU HIGH? OR HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?? WHAT'S WITH ALL THE UNEASE? Seriously. I couldn’t help it. For while I know how much he loves me, I had just never HEARD such worry regarding ME in his voice ever before.  

Turns out… while he’s been dealing with Covid patients for 10 months now… he apparently became very affected by the recent spike in patient cases and the severity of said cases. And according to what he was seeing… he did NOT want me to suffer like so many people walking through his door. Awww… talk about a devoted, loving son! He apparently would be absolutely devastated were his Mother to kick the bucket from covid. Which only means: I totally need to send him a present. In the meantime…

He laid down a bunch of rules which he made me promise to follow until I got my vaccine and as it happens, I’ve been following all of them. Well… except the time I had to leave my house to get a haircut and then a manicure and pedicure. Other than that though, I have stayed put, quarantined in my house just like my son told me to, basically sitting on my fat ass, thinking about all things I should be doing while here at home. In any case…

I totally have to make a practice run btw, to be sure I know where the hell I need to go for this shot. Just my luck. I’m driving all over the place, panicking because I have no idea where the hell I am, afraid I’ll lose my time slot if I not in the right place at the right time. I’m way into: BE PREPARED. So doing a drive by is basically mandatory, in my book. 

All I can say is: I AM SO READY FOR THIS SHOT! Granted… shooting up is not normally my favorite activity, but in this case? Oh man. BRING IT ON. And as for the idiots who DON’T want to be vaccinated… don’t even talk to me. Or, read this blog anymore. I have no patience for people who are too dumb to protect themselves and others. More importantly to help protect ME.

The miracle of modern medicine is simply so wondrous that to imagine people would even think of bypassing this vaccine is just mind boggling to me. Not to mention they are total A-holes. Hear me now: GET VACCINATED. WEAR MASKS. AVOID CROWDS. SANITIZE. WASH YOUR HANDS. What? That is so hard to do?? 

And most importantly… Do not wait! GET YOUR VACCINATION AS SOON AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. Our country will thank you. Besides… if it were up to me and you choose not to get your shot… then you absolutely don’t deserve medical help in any way whatsoever, should you God forbid, contract this virus. YAY HEALTH. #listentoanoldwiselady

YTB 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

TATERS


Not that I WANT to… but I think I could probably survive were I to live in Russia. Besides, my body type probably resembles that of the hearty looking Russian peasant women so I would definitely fit in. More importantly however, I could probably be okay living there for one reason and one reason ONLY. Naturally, that reason… what a surprise… is because of their food!

Bear in mind… most Russian international foods I have never seen, let alone eaten. I don’t even know how to pronounce most of the dishes of Russia which totally means I have never ever cooked them. Nor have I ever eaten in a restaurant that features Russian food. There even ARE such places here? I have no clue. Uh… except the Russian Tea Room in NYC.

Now THERE’S a fantastic place to eat! The menu selections make my mouth water just reading the choices of entrees or appetizers or whatever. I’m not too sure about their desserts, though. On the other hand, if they have baked pastries with lots of dark chocolate in it, then I’m totally good to go. In the meantime…

I happen to love borscht. It’s a famous traditional food of Russia and is basically a soup made from red beets which could be served either hot or cold. I remember my Mother making it while I was growing up. I don’t think my brother or sister were too crazy about borscht, but my Dad and I loved it. It was always served cold, with delicious sour cream spooned into it and man, was it ever a delight for your taste buds. Besides… the pinkish color was a big draw for me. You go to Russia? Boom. You’ll eat PLENTY of borscht. Just forego the added sprig of dill if you ask me. 

Another thing you’ll eat plenty of… at least I know I would… is beef stroganoff. It’s a big deal in Russia and while many counties around the world have their own ways to prepare it, the Russian recipe is my favorite. In fact, the dish was apparently named after Count Stroganov who was totally from the upper class and supposedly, his French Chef created this for the Count, with strips of  sliced meat because the poor guy was getting old, thus his teeth were no longer up to snuff. I love eating this Russian dish and man. It's pretty easy to make. So up my alley.

To make beef stroganoff, you simply mix a good cut of meat, all sliced up and then browned, into a couple of cans of mushroom soup, sautéed onions and mushrooms and of course you add sour cream into the mix. Oh yeah… you throw in a bit of white wine and I’m so telling you, you’ll be in Russian heaven. THEN… you serve all this over wide noodles and wow. SO DAMN GOOD! Talk about a hearty meal. The flavors are incredible. I love this dish and in particular, I love the noodles! Thus… so far, my tummy is pretty happy in Russia. 

Of course the politics of the country would be a major draw back for me so I would totally need their food to counter balance my misery of living in the city, in a one bedroom apartment with all kinds of hidden bugs listening to my every conversation with a family of seven. Besides... living under a dictatorship is not my first choice for a fantastic life style. Or... 

I could maybe be living out in the country side, probably not even having indoor bathroom facilities, which could also make think twice about taking up residence in Russia. Not to mention I’d probably have to herd a team of oxen up the lanes and byways all day long. In BELOW FREEZING  TEMPERATURES no less. For six months of the year I might add. Yes, summers are probably about 45 degrees which tells me, now that I think about it: maybe I’d love the weather there, after all! Well… as long as I’m wearing my full length mink coat, that is. But I digress… 

It turns out I also love herring, caviar and vodka. MORE Russian staples. I’d have to cream the herring however, and I would totally need a great appetizer upon which I’d put the caviar. I'd also need a great tasting juice to mix into the vodka so I'm not flat on my ass within minutes. Which makes me wonder if peasants have easy access to these epicurean delights. 

I’m thinking that when you’re living in Siberia let's say, money is pretty tight. Uh oh. I am already beginning to smell complications for my gourmet tastes. But... people DO choose to live in Siberia in spite of the rough and tough life style it offers. It's kind of amazing when you think about it. HI HONEY. I WAS THINKING WE MIGHT CONSIDER MOVING TO HARSHEST PLACE ON EARTH TO BUY A HOUSE AND RAISE THE KIDS. THE BEARS ALWAYS ROAMING THE STREETS CAN'T BE THAT MUCH OF A PROBLEM, RIGHT?? Can you even imagine? The up side, I suspect, is that at least you'll always have nice, rosy cheeks! Probably streaked by bear claws, I bet. But whatever. Anyway…

The REAL reason I think I could gastronomically survive in Russia is… ready for this??… the fact that one of all time favorite foods is POTATOES! The country is a HUGE producer of potatoes and I have yet to meet a potato that I haven’t loved. Just put one over a simple fire pit and cook it plain and bingo. I’m going to enjoy it like no tomorrow. A little butter or sour cream can't hurt, either. Russians boil potatoes. Or they fry them. Or they bake them. Or they even roast them. They do ALL SORTS of preparations for potatoes. Man. Sautee' some in a pan with onions and mushrooms and yowzers. You've got a meal fit for a king. And I would consume any of these preparations HAPPILY! Even if they were the main entrée, too. Which is why you see the picture above.

Turns out, this was my dinner the other night. And frankly… I loved this meal! Apparently I bought a bag of Russet Red potatoes recently and next thing I know… I had WAY too many. Hence my meal of potatoes only. Which I would have also done, if need be, with the Yukon Gold variety as well. These two types are by far the most delicious tasting potatoes ever AND can be used to make anything you want with them. The interiors are soft and fluffy tasting, cook quickly, and make one of the best comfort side dishes ever. Of course my meal this particular time was not a side dish. It was THE dish. And basically, I had no complaints whatsoever.

Which is why I decided I could probably survive pretty well in Russia. Even as a peasant woman although don’t get me wrong. I’d still love to be one of the elite, but if for some reason I wasn’t… I would still find a way to remain a Potato Cuisine Chubbette which only means: I'd fit right in with the other stocky looking women, owning an entire wardrobe of colorful babushkas. I’m just blessed that way, I guess. 

I do have to admit however, there ARE some STUNNING looking women in Russia who often become hot, sexy models. Plus... let's not forget the many mail order brides that probably find then themselves immigrating to developed countries, to men who wind up not being at all what they had bargained for. So not a good move, unfortunately.

In any case…. my meal of potatoes was delicious. I cooked them with a bit of olive oil and spiced them with salt, garlic powder and seasoning and was pretty damn happy with the outcome. I only ate about an eighth of this meal, but it also made for an excellent snack later in the evening. Kind of like: who needs popcorn? You’ve got potato bites, instead! Which I totally assume lots and lots of Russians enjoy daily.

Oh yeah… I almost forgot. Russian blintzes are spectacular, also! Yet with all this said... I am so staying right smack where I am. I'll forget about living in Russia and instead I'll merely cook my favorite Russian dishes right here in my convenient, comfortable kitchen. After all... my grandparents weren't all that crazy about the shtetls and pogroms. 

THAT is a whole other story for another day.

K!

Monday, January 18, 2021

TOMMY BOY


There have been a lot of boys in my life when I was raising my family thus I was in the world of sports way more often than I ever wanted. We had season tickets to all the major sports games and thankfully I was spared from ever having to take my son to pro wrestling when he was a nine or ten year old, and heavy into it. Luckily my husband was in charge of that. 

And by the way… let me state right off the bat - no pun intended - that the biggest scam of them all is Little League. You ever watch 5 and 6 year olds trying to hit a ball way into center field? Totally never going to happen, let alone ever be caught... and it was nothing short of torture when I had to sit at these games because the children had no clue what the hell they were doing thus making each game go on for hours and hours. I’m not even sure the kids themselves enjoyed it. IT WAS HOT out there!

Soccer was certainly more tolerable but again, I hated having to go to my kids’ games for that too. Besides, the games were at 9:00 or 10:00 in the morning and I was SO not up for doing games at that hour of the day on a Saturday. My husband was the coach for my children for years and years and my job was bringing the snacks. Me? I’d have been happy to bring cupcakes or doughnuts but nooooo… it had to be HEALTHY snacks like fruit or something or the other parents would have had my head on a serving platter. Trust me. The kids would have much preferred Pop Tarts.

I also hated going to the big arena every year for our season tickets to basketball games. First of all… there are like 1000 games played per season and at each of them, I felt like I was watching a ping  pong match given my head was turning first left and then right and then left again and of course, right again. Up the court, down the court. Up the court and down the court. Jesus. It was nuts. But of course the concession stands on the other hand, my favorite part of being a fan, were totally delicious. 

I could go on and on about all the sports games I found myself attending and then throw in the many that I needed to host in my own home and whammo. I had to be Mrs. Sportswoman of the Year all of a sudden. This was when Mohammed Ali was big so fight night was a major big deal. Then came Mike Tyson, when boom. The fight was over even before it began because he was knocking out opponents left and right, within seconds. By the time I even brought out the fancy schmancy foodstuffs from the kitchen, I not only missed the first round but basically, I’d miss the entire fight.

Two items of note, btw…. 1.) Howard Cosell was by far my all time favorite announcer! I loved watching this man like no tomorrow. Talk about articulate! Talk about knowing his business! Talk about drawing you right into the game with his blow by blow descriptions of the action! OMG. I could watch and/or listen to the man for EVER. I even enjoyed his ever popular toupee. If you were too young to have seen Howard and Ali together, then you missed something special, alright! Oh yeah. Bob Costas is my second favorite, in case you're interested. 2.) My son even earned a championship ring when Jimmy Johnson coached the Miami Hurricanes, by virtue of his being the ball boy for the team. Bingo. The was part of the team! The ring was HUGE, too. Almost bigger than my kid’s hand. Anyway…

Football was big in my house. I even remember my son playing in high school and as a 9th grader, he was put right smack onto the varsity team, lined up against the BIGGEST 12TH GRADE FOOTBALL PLAYERS I EVER SAW IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!! I immediately had to direct my kid to drop to the ground within SECONDS once the ball was hiked, so as to spare his life from these bulldozers. Of course, he never obeyed. He played defensive end for four years and each and every year, there was ALWAYS a trip to the emergency room for one reason or another. With a stop at poisonous Taco Bell because I felt so badly for him. In any case…

Football is my favorite sport to watch. Night games were my favorite for attending in person. And watching a great quarterback throw a perfect pass, only to be perfectly caught by a receiver thrills me to no end. In my late 20s Don Shula and the Miami Dolphins captured not only the entire city for years and years, but captured my heart as well. It was just so damn exciting and of course I knew all the team members by heart. Uh… just don’t ask me to name them all NOW, of course. My 72 year old brain is way past that. Which brings me to tonight…

Just like I did last week, I watched Tom Brady play again tonight, bringing wins to his team both weeks. Now HERE is a quarterback, if ever there was! Talk about a magnificent athlete! He brings a whole new meaning to poetry in motion. And F all you fanatical fans out there who expect me to know all the team members’ names or their statistics or even their positions. I am old thus I just watch the game. I even have a friend who totally delights in betting each week on all the games which basically means: you never quite know exactly what mood he may be in on Monday morning.

Regardless… I just can’t get over Brady! You know how you just HAVE to marvel at Michael Jordan playing?? Well… the exact same thing goes for Tom Brady. His passing arm is amazing. His athletic ability is a sheer joy to watch as he is looking for a receiver. And when he completes the pass?? Lordy. Talk about job well done! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know all the technicalities of the game but I get the gist of it and it’s rules absolutely perfectly fine. I would be the perfect date to bring to a game. I do have to admit, btw, I think the camera men are out of this world. They all deserve major pay raises given they show us absolutely astounding shots of each play which makes it all the better for idiots like me. In the meantime…

Tom Brady’s statistics are to be envied by any quarterback you can name. No wonder. He has thrown the most passing touchdowns of all time. Boy, would I ever love to see his passing arm. Can you even imagine the strength this guy must have?? I don’t know what to tell you. I just find this guy utterly amazing. Sorry Dan Marino. Or Peyton Manning. Or Fran Tarkenton. Or Joe Namath who, by the way, is SO not attractive in spite of his posing in Playgirl. Tommy Boy outdoes you in every way, if you ask me.

Of course no one would EVER ask me to opine on football quarterbacks. I know nothing about them, but I do know a winning athlete when I see one. And believe me… I’d love nothing better than to see each and every one of them in the locker room in a heartbeat. No matter WHAT sport they’re in. Because I do have admit.. .Tom Brady is damn good looking, alright! His smile alone moves him right up to the top of the list. Don’t believe me? Check THIS out:

The chiseled face doesn’t hurt either. Man. Has he ever got it all. Not bad for being 43!! How he is even playing at this age is incredible. Talk about 40 being the new 25! Which naturally has to make me wonder: WILL HE MAKE TO THE SUPERBOWL THIS YEAR?? Oh God. I so hope so!

I A T


Friday, January 15, 2021

MY LIFE IN PHOTOS

I’ve written often about how I go nowhere without my camera. Even today, I still have my little digital camera in my purse at all times. True, I never use it anymore, but I feel absolutely naked without it. Why don’t I ever use it? Easy. I got my first Pixel 2XL phone a few years ago and boom. Goodbye digital and hello cellphone. So now both cameras are with me everywhere I go. But the Pixel camera is way better.

And it’s a good thing, too for you just never know what the heck you’re going to see while out and about. Like the time I was driving behind a car and for the first time ever, I saw hanging from its back fender, TRUCK NUTZ. Why ANYone would ever want these is beyond me, and I do have to say I was aghast when I saw them. So much so that bingo. I took out my camera while waiting at a stop light and next thing you know, I snapped a picture. And… I posted a whole story about them here on my blog several years ago. It was nothing short of crazy! What is not so crazy… are these pictures I’m going to show you below, a bit of what my life in photos for 2021 has been like so far. Uh… you’re welcome.

Unlike the truck nutz… I am going to  go way to the other end of the spectrum… for I had a MAJOR happy surprise last week. I was sitting at my desktop, happily working away on something and I look up and see from the window in front of me an Amazon truck pulling into my driveway to deliver a package. Yay presents! So I get up, go to the front door and open it so I can grab the present and WHAT DO I SEE  WAITING FOR ME, AT THE DOORSTEP BUT A HUGE BOX OF FLOWERS!! Omg… I couldn’t believe it! They were probably there, unbeknownst to me, for maybe a half hour BUT WHOA was I ever surprised! And totally delighted!

Which naturally meant, to hell with the present from the Amazon delivery guy… I wanted to go check out the flowers I received, instead! Oh man. They were OUTSTANDING! Don’t believe me? Check them out below…

Beautiful, right?? Took me no time at all to open the flower box and my eyes popped out with a huge smile on my face. Plus… I got the most beautiful purple crystal wind chime that was included! A DOUBLE SURPRISE. You have  no idea how much I love wind chimes. In fact, I have one right smack outside my window as we speak. So basically these treats absolutely made my day! And my week too, actually, for they are still stunning and fresh. QUICK! Whip out the camera and remember this day for ever! Which naturally I did. I am beginning to think I need this treat every month btw, but yes, I know. I totally don’t see that happening. It doesn’t matter though because this kind of surprise can last for always. Besides… I’m not into greed. Conspicuous consumption, arguable. But greed, no. Anyway…

Another absolutely amazing day was just a couple of days ago when I woke up. Still half asleep, I moseyed into the kitchen to get a drink, not even fully awake yet and I look out my kitchen windows, Boom. What do I see but THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SCENE EVER. It apparently had snowed all night long and boom. I see this!

Can you believe it? Now THAT’S what I call Mother Nature at her best. How long you think it took me to grab my camera and get THIS shot?? And… not only did I start taking pictures, but I began shooting videos as well. Oh man. It was just so magnificent, I can’t tell you. Coming from South Florida, having lived there for 55 years, I NEVER saw this, I can tell you that. And… this is exactly why I left. 4 ASTOUNDING SEASONS! Winter has totally become my favorite, btw. It has definitely surpassed autumn which had always been my No.1, but since coloration the past few years has been kind of weak, winter has moved right on up a notch. Can you blame me? Seeing snow fall is exciting in your heart and soothing in your mind. And… just so beautiful to watch, no matter your age nor your favorite season.

Okay. So ANOTHER great day was on New Year’s Eve when I went to a spectacular luncheon at a friend’s home. There were many reasons why I loved that day, but the best part was when I helping my friend learn how to use the cartridge of weed for her vaping pen. We followed the instructions, kept trying to get it to work and we were getting nowhere but fast. We Googled instructions and even watched YouTube to see what was going wrong. THEN… ALL OF A SUDDEN… I SEE MY FRIEND COUGHING HER HEAD OFF, SURROUNDED BY CLOUDS AND CLOUDS OF SMOKE which only means… guess what. I got it to work! I BURST out laughing like crazy because we had no clue that I discovered the answer to taking a toke. It was just so great, let alone hilarious. And man, was she smashed. It was like out of the blue, bingo. The pen worked and my friend, by total accident, inhaled the hit of her entire life!  

BUT… my second favorite part of the luncheon was the after-lunch-cocktail we were served. Normally, I NEVER drink liquor and if I did, vodka would be my go to choice if there was no champagne. Never straight up, mind you, but that matters not. However… on THIS day… I had a cocktail not only made with vodka but with bourbon and Irish whiskey, too! WHOA. Maybe the most liquor I’ve had in my entire lifetime. AND, MIXED WITH CHOCOLATE SYRUP, TOO. Don’t even ask. I was buzzed like no tomorrow. Not enough though so that I couldn’t get a shot of this simply DELICIOUS drink! Take a look at it, and if ever I’m at your house, definitely have it ready for me, please. But stop me after five sips. Otherwise you could so have a houseguest on your hands for a good three days.

Looks pretty spiffy, right? And, like I said. Oh, so delicious. No wonder. The chocolate drowned out the taste of liquor perfectly! Oh yeah. I was the one to dip all the cocktail glass edges in syrup, in case you’re interested. Make this drink. Your guests will lap it up!

Now THIS photo needs no explanation. I just wrote about him the other day. He is totally a joy for my eyeballs. And a pleasure to see each time I pass by him. Which is about 50 times a day. The picture is not doing him justice, but I had to take a shot of him anyway for he is just so wonderful.

Alright. So once again, Covid is taking it’s toll on me. Remember many months ago when I wrote about the fact that this pandemic just HAD to end, and soon, given I couldn’t stop cooking? And thereby couldn’t fit another damn thing into my freezer? Uh. Guess what. IT’S HAPPENED AGAIN. And I am not proud about it, either. In fact… it is soooo embarrassing that I’m even unhappy about sharing this photo, but as per usual… anything for my readers! Totally do not judge me, please. Besides… I have completely organized the entire freezer by now… and it looks WAY more acceptable. Not necessarily more accessible mind you, but far more organized. It was feat all onto itself, I don’t mind telling you. Don’t tell anyone you saw this, btw. They’ll call me a sloppy homemaker which I am NOT. There is simply not an INCH of space for one more item. 

Now this last photo for today is a shot I took a few days ago because I looked at this pose and immediately decided it was like WHERE’S WALDO? Instead of course, it was more like: WHERE’S ZEBULON? Bingo. In his bed, which apparently matches his body EXACTLY! I couldn’t believe it! If I had WANTED a bed to perfectly match him, I could never have found one. But one look at this and man, I almost had to say HEY! WHICH PART IS WHICH? WHAT’S GOIN ON HERE? WHERE’S MY DOG? Who as a matter of fact, is THE most perfect dog you’d ever want to meet. Well… other than the fact that for some reason, right out of the blue, lately he apparently now loves to pee right smack on the right hand corner of my bed skirt. What? My decent enough sized backyard is no longer good enough for him? Wow. Talk about spoiled. Regardless… get a load of this pict.

An adorable little dog, right? You could so eat him up! And, just so you know, if  Zebulon decides to keep up with this peeing bit by my bed corner, all applications for finding him a new home will be accepted via this blog. Maybe. I just may have to keep him after all, since you won’t know exactly what he’s trying to tell you the way I do. Nor will you know what he likes and doesn’t like. Most importantly, you won’t know that he would never run away when someone enters the house because he’s way too nosey to not check out the incoming company. BUT if you open the front door when they leave? Uh… he runs like a bat out of hell and the next thing you know… he’s busy roaming the entire neighborhood for a good half hour! With NO WAY WHATSOVER of catching up with him. The closer one gets to him… the faster he runs the other direction. Talk about a pain in the ass. But a great subject for a picture nonetheless. 

So there you have it. My first shots for 2021. There will be zillions more to come as the year passes so stay tuned. More importantly… you too, should be taking pictures! There is a better way to document one’s life? Uh… no. 

Oh wait… I lied. There IS one more picture I want to share once again. I wrote all about him many years ago.This is maybe my ALL TIME FAVORITE EVER. The EXACT reason to always have a camera at hand. Talk about THE funniest shot I’ve ever seen! And sadly, not one I took. But who cares. Although I would LOVE to thank the photographer profusely whoever it was. THEY WERE BLIND TO WHAT THE CAMERA WAS CATCHING?? Think: apparently!


Can you beLIEVE what you're seeing here?? Does this not make you absolutely laugh right smack out loud?? I bet I've had this snapshot for 15 years and I would not part with it EVER. How could I? You're feeling blue one day? No problem. Take one look at this guy, oblivious to everything, and the next thing you know, all your cares fly away in a second. 

Saturday, January 9, 2021

I LOVE HIM

At least I think I do. I haven’t lived with him long enough yet, to know for sure. But I kind of think I really do! And no wonder…. he’s fantastic!

Turns out I needed to find some sort of artwork I could love to hang above my ugly family room couch. The couch about which I’ve often written. So I had to decide first what kind of “subject” I would like this artwork to be. I could have gone with an idea of nature but that was not rocking my boat in the least. I could have also gone with some sort of modern art, which is my preference but again, it wasn’t necessarily giving me a thrill.

What DOES give me a thrill, however are the Laughing Buddhas I have in each room of my house. THOSE make me smile every time I look at one of them. I like the idea of their bringing happiness into my home, not to mention the abundance, good luck and good fortune they represent. Simply put… each Laughing Buddha brings love and joy into my home. Who WOULDN'T like that?? Soooo….

Once I decided what my subject was going to be for above my couch, I went online and Googled Laughing Buddha images. Bingo. Zillions came up and I must have spent about an hour or two going through each shot trying to find the one I loved most. UP COMES THE ONE YOU SEE ABOVE. He struck a chord with me right off the bat. Plus… he was gold in color! While my all time favorite color is white, gold is pretty much the only metal I’ll ever wear in my jewelry, so it was like a match made in heaven. Plus… he was LARGE.

Next thing you know, I downloaded the image, tweaked it some in Paint Shop Pro and then boom. I uploaded it to an online service that creates said image onto a canvas print for a wall hanging. Talk about easy. The pricing is totally reasonable enough, so basically if this doesn’t work out as well as I hope, then no big deal. I can find a replacement lickety split. But I’m not so sure I will need to. Yippee.

It’s kind of interesting about Laughing Buddhas, actually. They all have a different significance depending upon whether they are standing or sitting, for instance. They also mean something different if they are holding a specific item and even in which direction you place him. Like the one above, for instance. See his beads? They represent “pearls of wisdom” which, given you read my blog, you already know… I am FULL of such pearls! Or... full of shit. Take your pick. Anyway… 

You should not ever put Buddha on the floor which is why the one I have in my bedroom, is sitting on a base that I put underneath him, on the floor, facing my bed. I kind of like knowing a Buddha is bringing me happiness for a uh… happy encounter, let’s say. What? Not EVERYbody does that? Well, let me tell you… they should! For he’s proven his worth many a time. In any case…

NEVER put one in a bathroom. Supposedly the best place to sit him is facing a main door, btw. And… his placement should be at least 30 inches high. Which now that I think of it… maybe I better go measure the one in my bedroom again. He and his base may be a bit under. Uh oh. 

Regardless, a Laughing Buddha should definitely be revered. Granted… I can’t say I reVERE my Laughing Buddhas, but I certainly get major joy looking at each of them. I would like to tell you which of mine is my favorite, but I’m not sure I can. Sort of like you can’t say which of your children is your favorite. Well…unless of course, one of them is a constant pain in the ass and always brings major aggravation. In which case, love that child with all your heart, but definitely move that kid to the back of the line.

I do love the Laughing Buddha in my dining room, however. He is kind of elegant maybe, hence why he sits on my side serving table. Which of course I never use for serving. Instead I have other pretty crap I like looking at, so who has room for food?

While the laughing expressions thrill me to no end, their bald heads and pot bellies are a big delight for me, too. Sort of like all men my age are, actually. A 75 year old gentleman with abs like a 35 year old? Please. Get real. And… this is important… if that gentleman can’t make me smile and laugh several times a day? Out he goes! No questions asked. Who needs him then? What you DO need however…

Is a Laughing Buddha in your home! Small or large doesn’t matter. I can almost guarantee he can make you happy each time you see him. As do the bowl of Italian Murano glass cherries I have in my family room. AnOTHER reason to be happy given… life IS but a bowl of cherries! 

Whoa... no wonder I'm rarely depressed.

Thursday, January 7, 2021

THE CHEAPIE ROUTE

 


So I cheaped out this week. Very unlike me btw, but the draw was just too strong this time. And you know what? I totally think it’s going to work out perfectly fine!

Everything started with my sister in law who was telling me that she recently went to Sam’s Club… a Costco type place, here…  and that she decided to try the optical department there for her new glasses. And as it happened, she was tickled pink because when she walked in, lo and behold who should the optician turn out to be?? CARMEN. The exact same Carmen who used to work in South Florida at the very pricey optical office, where she used get her glasses made years ago! For big bucks, too.

It was like a homecoming that thrilled my sister in law to no end. Turns out Carmen told her that buying glasses and lenses at Sam’s Club was totally excellent, they used top of the line best labs and lens cutters that she’d find anywhere and was WAY CHEAPER than any place she could go. So BINGO. She decided it was worth giving Sam’s a try! And she did. And Carmen was right. Her glasses were fantastic for WAY less money! 

Ok. So given I had a new prescription for my glasses that I had had made just about 9 months ago, I decided I would cheap out and head over to Sam’s for MY new lenses. Boom. I made an appointment with Carmen, who as it turns out, has more happy energy than any 12 people I know put together. Right off the bat, she said to me that I’ve obviously got a Manhattan vibe given I was dressed in all black, wearing my red frames and statement jewelry and supposedly had an exceptional personality. Wow. Talk about an astute saleswoman, alright. She even made me twirl all around for Karen, the other optician who I guess was to supposed to soak me all in. Man. It was like Carmen was thrilled to FINALLY see someone who came from a big city as opposed to the mountain folk whom we normally see all the time around here. But in any case… 

Carmen was patient, professional and reassuring that indeed she can have my lenses made so I could then see everything in the world perfectly fine. Lenses for all 4 pairs of glasses, I might add. 2 pairs for everyday wear, 1 for sunglasses and 1 pair for my computer glasses. All of which would normally come to a couple thousand of dollars anywhere else. Carmen’s price however? $700 for the entire kit and caboodle! Wow. I was pretty damn psyched about all this, I do have to say. YAY CARMEN. She obviously knows her business like no tomorrow. 

Or... maybe she merely spotted a sucker for it all the moment I walked in. Which of course is the first lesson in being a great retailer. For believe you me... I fit that description to a T. And to prove it, I wound up falling for the brand new Kate Spade frames that I'll now use for my computer glasses. I tried them on and bingo. Carmen, Karen and I were totally elated. In the meantime…

Other than meeting Carmen and getting her professional help at a great cost, I must admit that my FAVorite part of this whole experience was actually a much better one. My hot dog! For I would NEVER go to Sam’s Club… to which I hadn’t been in almost a year… and not go up to their “café” of sorts to order a hot dog. They have THE best tasting ones I’ve ever had. And I’m kind of a pro at this, if you must know. I don’t know who makes it (I almost want to say Nathan’s) but man, is it ever delicious. Actually, critics say Costo’s hotdog is much better but in my town, I have only one choice of a big box store so I happily roll with the punches.

Anyway… I hadn’t eaten all day long thus I was starved! So while Carmen was busy for about 20 minutes getting my prescriptions all written up for the four glasses, I moseyed on over to Sam’s Cafe, got in line, and placed my order. My problem however was: should I stick to the ever popular hot dog OR… do I want to step out of the box for once and maybe get a slice of pizza instead? Hmmm. It was a major dilemma, let me tell you. What the heck should I order? Because I just have to say… there were loads of people who had apparently pre-ordered a whole pizza and man! Did it ever smell delicious! Talk about Pavlov’s dog at his best.

Ok. So by the time it was my turn… I walked up to the counter and said to the lady UH… YOU KNOW WHAT? I'D LIKE A HOT DOG PLEASE AND NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I’LL EVEN TAKE A SLICE OF PEPPERONI PIZZA TOO, WITH A SMALL DIET COKE! THANKS! Wow. Talk about solving a problem with no second thoughts whatsoever. When in doubt… order it all! And boy am I glad I did! For while I downed the hot dog in sheer delight while waiting for Carmen to finish… later, when I got home and took a bite of the pizza, I was in heaven! Was it the BEST dough I ever tasted? Uh, no. But… was it absolutely, unexpectedly, perfectly and deliciously acceptable? DAMN RIGHT IT WAS. And once it was in my tummy… my insides knew no difference whatsoever. I love when I made the right decision! Oh yeah… get this...

The total cost for me was $3.79! Which btw, was less than the sign said it would be, but I think maybe it was because I didn't get the pizza combo. Of course, were it $13.79, I wouldn’t have given a damn. I STILL would have happily paid for it. And… the slice of pizza could easily have been cut in 4ths. IT WAS HUGE. Exactly the way I like my... uh… portions. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Portions.

In the meantime… I am so counting down the days until my glasses are ready. They are going to be fantastic and I am going to be glowing. That’s IF the prescription is correct to begin with. It usually takes me two times to have my eyes tested, just to be sure they test equally on both days, but I’m going out on a limb this time and I am assuming the doctor and I got it right the first time around. Boy. What an optimist I am.

I am also going to try to hit Sam’s Club way more often from here on in. I forgot about all the kinds of foods they carry that I love. Case in point: Chicken Cordon Bleu and Shrimp Scampi! Which I WOULD have gotten while I was there for my visit with Carmen but I swear… there is NOT ONE INCH of space in my freezer to fit one more bit of food whatsoever. Seriously. It’s so damn embarrassing, it's ridiculous. Thus… I had better eat up a boat load of entrées from my freezer in the next 8 days and FAST.

For in 8 days I am hoping to have the best damn eyeglass lenses one could ever want. YAY EYESIGHT. YAY CHEAPO GLASSES. YAY CARMEN. Most importantly... YAY ME.

Friday, January 1, 2021

SO... IT'S FINALLY HERE

 

I can’t even believe it. I’ve waited 12 months for this day to arrive… a brand new year! And to be sure I was not dreaming that 2020 was over, I stayed up and watched the ball drop in Times Square. Sure enough, I lived long enough to usher in 2021. What a freakin' relief if ever there was.

Every year btw… my all time favorite part of seeing the ball drop is the music afterwards. First is always AULD LANG SYNE. Then comes NEW YORK, NEW YORK. To which I sing each and every word btw. Then usually comes AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL and finally WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD. Man. What a playlist if ever there was. Actually, I sing to ALL the songs and love every minute of it. Oh yeah… I just loved that Times Square was somewhat filled with front line and essential workers. Boy… did THEY ever help NYC this past year.

Of course this year, was the weirdest celebration ever for me. I did go to a fantastic New Year’s Luncheon with 4 other friends. It was soooo delicious I can’t even tell you. But you can see me above, loving every bite of ceviche with shrimp on a flat taco shell. OMG. I could eat this every day. Of course we started with hors d'oeuvres and champagne so right off the bat I was in heaven.

What was weird however, was that I was at home for the rest of the evening. There was no restaurant any of us wanted to go to for indoor dining. There were no celebrations at night given we had all celebrated Christmas Eve so no one was up for doing New Year’s Eve this year. I only heard two fireworks going off. Thus if it weren’t for the ball drop I wouldn’t even had known a celebration was going on.

Well… except for the fabulous phone calls, messages and texts I got. The calls were great, btw. Hearing from my kid was probably the best but the others were excellent because several were from friends miles and miles away. And we all had the same feeling… 2021 WAS FINALLY HERE! And naturally… we are all crossing our fingers that the in the next 20 days THE IDIOT will not destroy our country further. Talk about a holy terror. Hold on to your hats, folks. God only know what’s in store in the next few weeks.

Regardless… I am thrilled I survived this pandemic so far and am looking forward to a MUCH happier year this time around, on so many levels. I hope the same goes for everyone reading this post. Think: VACCINE. May all of us get it and quickly, so we can finally end this nightmare already. I know. I know. I have to be patient but if I am able to have it by spring or summer I’ll be forever grateful. Yay senior citizens. Yay underlying conditions. Yay thin needles. Yay creating a merry little life once again. Trust me… I have high hopes for lots of things. 

Case in point: I WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE THEATER. Yes, it’s open here in my city, but with rising covid cases, who the hell is going to chance being inside, having no clue how safe the other movie goers might be. Just what I need. Sitting there, downing my beloved popcorn only to test positive 10 days later. Many of us have TALKED about going but we came to our senses immediately. Of course I have other high hopes but again, I will just have to be patient and wait it out. Damnit. In the meantime…

May all of you be able to find lots of joy in 2021! I pray your lives are filled with good health, lots of laughter and is shared with someone you love like no tomorrow. You’ve got those three things?? Boom. You’re off to an incredible start! Yay happiness!

And so here we go. Let’s live and create outstanding memories once again. God knows I’m going to try!