Sunday, April 26, 2020


For about 10 years I guess, I’ve been joining about 10 of my girlfriends for breakfast each Saturday morning. It’s something I love to do, in spite of the fact I am supposed to be at the restaurant at 10:30 which for me, is a feat onto itself. 10:30??? Up and dressed and on the road?? Oh man. Talk about a timetable challenge.

Needless to say, I am never on time. Besides, I have to set my alarm clock to be up in time and I refuse to wake up earlier than 9:20 on a Saturday morning. Hence, while everyone else is there right smack on time, I usually mosey on in about 20 minutes late. Not that anyone necessarily cares, given there has yet to be a gathering whereby all the others are not enjoying the festivities because I haven’t yet shown up. Believe me… everyone has a totally wonderful time whether I’m there or not. WHAT?? LINDA CAN’T BE THERE?? OH, OKAY THEN. CANCEL THE EVENT ALTOGETHER! Yeah. Like that’s ever going to happen. In any case…

For all these years, everything has worked like a charm. We show up, we eat breakfast, we talk about everything known to man, and basically have a delightful time. A lot of laughter, some bitching (that would be me), discussions ranging anywhere from current events to blow jobs and everything in between. Movies. Fashion. Dilemmas. Joys. Sorrows. Grandkids. Books. Whatever. You name it, we discuss it. Kinda like what every group of girlfriends talk about when together. All in all… it’s a pretty great way to spend a Saturday morning. Throw in an order of eggs and blueberry pancakes and bingo. Your weekend is off to a great start.

And then boom. The coronavirus kicked in. Next thing you know, good-bye breakfast time.

Until that is, we began to Zoom with each other. Yippee. Breakfast Club was back on! Minus the pancakes of course.

And btw… we totally deserve a medal given all of us senior citizens figured out how to use Zoom lickety split. SO THERE, YOU MILLENAILS! Who said you can’t teach old dames new tricks??

Oh yeah… and naturally, the best part for me is that now I get to tell Alexa to wake me up at 10:00… a whole extra 40 minutes of beauty sleep! Plus, I get to wear my  nightgown to each Zoom meeting. Could it GET any better than that?? I’m in total heaven, to say the least.

The first time we Zoomed, I loved it immediately. It was sooo great seeing everyone again; especially Sue, given she left last September I think, and is still in Florida where she lives each winter. That’s not to say I don’t love Zooming with everyone else too, for believe you me, I DO. Especially since I get to sit at my computer, drink my Diet Coke and have a smoke. All in all… a perfectly excellent set up for me.

Yesterday was an another Breakfast Club fun day for me. We began with talking about what’s doing the past week… and moved right on in to movies and books, then talking about some of the implications of current events, what to watch on TV, etc. etc. By the time we ended, we were on the topic of uncircumcised men. Now THAT discussion alone was something to behold, alright. Anyway...

At some point, I had to add  the story about my having to make a delivery of bagels to my girlfriend the other night, only to realize after I was already in the car and on the road, that not only had I left my phone on the kitchen counter, but I also forgot to put on slacks before I left the house!  Don’t ask. I was traipsing around the city basically in a sweater, slippers, panties no bra. Not a great look for a woman in her 70s, let me tell you, but whatever. In the meantime…

I adore spending Saturday mornings with this group of friends. For while each of us have pretty much different personalities, different interests, different tastes, different life stories, etc., there is always something for all of us to discuss. Which is why I love women as a whole, actually. No matter who it may be, I could so easily be on a cross country car trip, and still never run out of things to talk about with another woman or two. Of course I am by far the last person anyone would want on a car trip, given I have major digestive trouble hence any trip expected to take 12 hours, let’s say… could very well take up to 16 after we factor in my bathroom stops. But that’s another story altogether. 

Anyway, I have a theory about enjoying a group of women: no matter how many men you may have in your life, you absolutely need your girlfriends! And, plenty of them too, if you can swing it. Granted, not every of them have to always be your all time BEST friend forever, but having access to several happy girlfriends is pretty much essential to aging with a smile on your face.

Thus… if it turns out that you’re a real hardcore bitch for instance, you may want to switch that up immediately. NO one will want to become friends with you and bingo. You’re on your own. Not having ANY of the fun we in the Breakfast Club have. For btw… while all of us are pretty accepting of each other’s flaws and strengths, the one thing I don’t think any of us would put up with is a mean spirited, back stabbing egotistical idiot. Well, I won’t anyway. HEAD’S UP: You get on my Shit List and whammo. I don’t see it becoming particularly pleasant for either of us.

So it kinda makes me just so happy to have all these friends in my life, especially while being on lock down. It’s so comforting to know that my girlfriends give a damn about me, check up on me, and totally care about me. What will make it all the better for me of course, is when we can finally get together in person again and ordering a major Hungry Man Meal! Which is pretty much the way my order normally goes.

Everyone else likes 2 poached eggs with a side of whole wheat toast, let’s say. Maybe even some hash brown potatoes thrown in. Me?? Oh man. I love to begin with a lightly warmed muffin of some sort. Then 2 scrambled eggs, dry toast, a couple of pancakes with a side of grits and an order of sausage or bacon. I might even end it all with a tasty slice of cherry cheesecake. Now THAT’S what I call a great breakfast!

Couple that with my girlfriends sitting all around me, and next thing you know…  it turns out to be a perfect way to laugh and get a real kick out of life. Yay friends. Yay Breakfast Club. Yay Zoom. And yay me for being able to be a part of this.

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