Sunday, November 25, 2012


I used to be so smart. About lots of things. But especially about romantic love which for some reason I've been thinking about a lot today. And, all about falling in love, too. I'm pretty much a sucker for every angle of it. 

I've had plenty of practice with all this for indeed I've truly been happily in love a several times in my day. And for that I feel really blessed. But only once... did I REALLY ever fall deeply, madly, crazy ass in love.

Which is why it strikes me as so odd that even to this very day, and apparently not being as smart as I once was... I ache still for the loss the of that one genuine deep love that apparently was never meant to be. What's even odder is I sometimes forget all about the two absolute truths I discovered several years ago regarding love.

One: You'll never have to guess whether or not he's way interested in you. You'll always know it. Because basically... he'll make SURE you know it. 

Two: You'll never have to wonder whether or not he's fallen out of love with you. You'll always know that as well. Because THAT he'll make even plainer than truth number One.  

So it's pretty strange that while intellectually I accept that the single true love of my life will of course never be lived out, emotionally I have never yet been able to totally shake the feeling of disappointment he and I are kaput. That's nuts, right? In fact, they say that time supposedly time heals all wounds, yet I'm kinda thinking... bulls%$^. Especially now since at my age, my days are pretty much numbered. Thus, the countdown to time healing me is, as I see it, becoming shorter and shorter. That SO can't be good.

On the other hand... any love story, any movie about love and/or any love song... trust me... I'm already way into it. It completely knocks my socks off. I've read them all, seen them all and sung them all. Which is why I'm still very much a romantic at heart. I believe in love. I trust in love. I'd even lie for love.

I can't really tell you which book, song or movie is my all time favorite since to be honest, I adore so damn many of them, you wouldn't believe it. I've even cried over some too. And... of course laughed. 

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY was sheer genius in the hilarity department, but oh man... did Harry ever love Sally when he went to chase her down at the New Year's Eve party. Totally up my alley. And seriously... my eyes still well up everytime I see the last scene of YOU'VE GOT MAIL only because both Tom Hanks and I just KNEW ShopGirl was the authentic love of his life. And, those aren't even the classics, either. Oh yeah... go listen to Roberta Flack one day sing FIRST TIME EVER I SAW YOUR FACE and boom. You'll know what loving means to HER, alright. 

I have a theory btw. In my book... if you pass up on your one genuine love, you then probably pass up on life, too. For, to me... that's exactly WHY God gave us emotions in the first place: TO FALL MAD PASSIONATELY IN LOVE. Which btw, IS the strongest emotion in the human species. Second probably being the painful loss you feel when your said love slips away. Which naturally is why Valentine's Day is such a success. A MAJOR success I might add. Besides, you're SUPPOSED to live happily ever after. 

I sort of have to smile when I think about my own personal zest for life and love. Cause when you have zest, you always have a chance for falling in love all over again. Living on memories is great when let's say your parents pass away. When it comes to romance and passion however, it's all about moving forward and being guided by the truest joy known to man. And to woman. 

Which only means maybe it IS time for me to stop pining away for all that which has since passed. Afterall, truth can only set me free. As in: One and Two. 

Yippee. Maybe I'm not so dumb afterall.

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