Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS!


Oh man... I can't even believe this. FINALLY. My 15 minutes of fame is apparently on the horizon! Well, okay. More like 15 seconds, but who's counting. Matters not for it's going to be great, regardless.

So last night, out of the blue I got an email from my plastic surgeon. Whom I love dearly and for whom I would do almost anything. So when he described his proposition to me, I WAS ON BOARD WITHIN A HEART BEAT. Get this...

Dr. Harley is going to do a couple of very brief interviews on our local TV station. I of course already told him they need to be way longer, but whatever. In the meantime, the first interview will be all about his Biltmore Lift procedure which basically takes crappy looking people like me and then recreates them into the most shockingly improved, almost very pretty faces you ever saw. I'm living proof, as you well know.

So... the proposition Dr. Harley had for me was: if he does the first interview by himself, would I be interested in doing the second interview WITH him?? OMG. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE MY REPLY?? SIGN ME UP. IMMEDIATELY!! This is soooo up my alley.

Apparently I must be the most DRASTICALLY improved face in his practice, for believe me... there are zillions of other people he could have considered. However, Dr. Harley felt I would fit the bill just fine since he finds my personality just the right fit for TV. Let alone for promoting his genius like work. Which believe me, I shall do with sheer PLEASURE. I've raved about this guy ever since my very first consultation.

Anyway... all I know is that a week from Friday, I shall join him at the TV station, sit down and give a three minute interview reiterating all my accolades of the doctor and his procedure... from the patient's point of view. Which I figure should be pretty easy. I'll merely look into the camera, put on a smile and simply say:

HEY... YOU'VE GOT A CRAPOLA LOOKING FACE?? NO PROBLEM. CALL DR. HARLEY IMMEDIATELY AND LET HIM MAKE YOU STUNNING. I DID AND I'VE BEEN ON CLOUD NINE EVER SINCE. NO PAIN. NO PROBLEMS. NO REASON TO WAIT. Boom. Done. That just about covers all the bases, don't you think?

I'm pretty psyched about all this, I must say. I'll probably need heavy meds to calm my nerves, but who cares. I'm with a doctor! Who by the way, I can only pray doesn't hog my air time. HE can be on TV any damn time he wants. I on the other hand, get only a one shot deal.

Besides, I have yet to see my face plastered on every billboard in the city, so I can't really count on THAT venue for my becoming famous. Instead, I'll have to depend upon my local TV station to do the trick. And, yes... I've notified every human being I've ever spoken to, to be on the lookout for this infamous interview. What a life, huh??

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