Wednesday, January 4, 2012


So this was an interesting day. A pretty happy day too. For the second time in a couple of weeks, I think I may have crashed a party. As in: I lunched with what is normally a MEN'S CLUB of sorts. Well, not really a club of course, but I happen to know three men with whom I'm friendly and today we all had lunch together once again. I figured since I had a hysterectomy so many years ago, I should fit in pretty damn well, given my lack of estrogen. I'm now way closer to the side of those with testosterone. Besides, I can swear up a storm with the best of them.

Anyway, all these friends are really nice men, especially since they put up with all my jabbering without a single complaint. Not to my face anyway. Okay... so while we were there downing our food, we were talking about a zillion things. One topic was COMPUTING and as it turns out, in his previous life one of the guys was a computer teacher/expert. So up my alley. We were talking about ADOBE PHOTOSHOP ELEMENTS and I had mentioned that I'll bet it's been 25 years since I actually walked into a store and BOUGHT software. Of course NOW, as I'm sitting here, I remember buying software that burns movies onto a DVD just a couple of years ago. But who's counting.

Regardless... we decided that after lunch we'd all take a ride over to Staple's and hook me up with a REAL imaging program. This computer teacher said it was fantastic and knew just which version of Photoshop I should buy. Yippee. Just what I love... inside information about software and/or computing! As you can imagine, I was pretty psyched to see what this program could do, that my Paint Shop Pro can't, given I could spend HOURS playing around with images. Next thing you know, the men were all trying to decide whose car we should take and out of nowhere, boom. My testosterone kicked in as I blurted out... no problem boys. I'LL DRIVE. Besides, I told them that this could be my initiation into the male only club. Omg... I AM becoming one of the men, afterall. EEKS.

So bingo. We all headed over to Staples. We got what I needed and we were on our way. THEN... one of the other men, said: Whoa. I can't believe you're not going into Pier One, which happened to be in the same shopping strip as Staples. To which I said... WHAT? SHOP IN PIER ONE WITH THREE MEN?? NO WAY I'D EVER SUBJECT ALL OF YOU TO THAT. I mean... seriously... I do know just how far to push my luck. However, as said luck would have it, the computer specialist said... I WONDER IF THEY HAVE INCENSE THERE.

Are you kidding me?? In Pier One?? OF COURSE THEY DO. All kinds, too!

Uh... care to guess what we did NEXT? You're damn right... the four of us all drove right smack over Pier One, with the guys now telling me, as we're walking in... You now have an ENTOURAGE! OMG. Trust me... I could SO get into entourages. Anyway, they all headed to the incense department and I headed over to the seat pillow department. In no time flat, we had what we needed, we checked out and we returned to the car.

Which is exactly why: Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND BUYS EXACTLY WHAT THEY CAME FOR AND JUST LEAVES PIER ONE WITHOUT EVEN CHECKING OUT EVERYTHING ELSE IN SIGHT?? Are you kidding me?? God only KNOWS what other must-haves may have been in the store! No roaming the aisles? No picking up every item just to see and feel? No racking up your original bill ten fold? Man, is THIS ever a new experience for me.

On the other hand, shopping with this group is but young. Give me a few more chances... and I'm sure I'll have them trained as impulse buyers in NO TIME. Trust me... they don't call me female for nothing! Even better though... tomorrow, when the men all head out to the shooting range, I'M GOING WITH FIVE GIRLFRIENDS TO LUNCH AND TO THE ALL TIME BEST ACCESSORY STORE KNOWN TO MAN... CHARMING CHARLIES!

Ahhh... talk about being back in familiar territory. That my friends, will be a REAL shopping experience!