Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I'M A MIRACLE CHEF!

I so can't believe this. My mouth is watering as we speak and I am still hours away from taking even my first bite. But ALREADY I know this recipe I just made up is going to be OUTSTANDING.

So get this. I decided I wanted to use my new Crock Pot once again. However, I'm done with heavy meats for now. Like pot roast, beef ribs, etc. Instead, I told Bonnie: THIS week, I want you to please get me A PORK LOIN ROAST. A big fat one, too. OMG. You should see this thing!! IT'LL FEED A FAMILY OF TEN, EASILY. But more importantly, it fit into my crock pot with great ease. This piece of meat weighed about 4.5 pounds and was trimmed beautifully. Even its raw state, it looked scrumptious! Actually, if we want to get technical, I think Bonnie bought me a mere pork roast and not a pork LOIN roast. But, whatever. I don't even know the difference.

Okay. So I decided I didn't want bar-b-que flavoring for this dish. I decided instead, to go with a sort of sweet and sour flavor. Boy am I glad I did. The first thing I did was to line the bottom of the pot with plenty of sauerkraut. I used like a whole jar, given the there was so much meat.

Next, I seasoned the pork on sides and ends with PLENTY of garlic and pepper seasonings. Then... I took about 362 pieces of garlic and diced it up real small. And next, I took the garlic pieces and sort of pressed them onto the meat's surface. Boom. I was to ready roll. I then let all this cook on high for about two hours.

In the meantime, I went into the kitchen a while ago and thought to myself. Hmmmm... I'm not sure this is going to be juicy and/or flavorful enough for my liking. And, certainly not sweet and sour. SOOOOOO.... I went to the pantry, pulled out a jar of Red Currant Jelly and a bottle of Mushroom Beef Gravy. Eureka! I mixed the two bottles together in a bowl, blending the two flavors and then I poured 3/4 of it over the meat, dripping all over the edges onto the sauerkraut. IMMEDIATELY I knew I had what I wanted!

NOW the sauerkraut is going to serve as a kind of fabulous sweetened cabbage side dish. And, is going to be out of this world with the pork roast. I am telling you... I'VE CREATED A DISH OF THE CENTURY. I can hardly believe it.

Nor can I believe that I love this Crock Pot so much! That alone is a sheer miracle. I've been reading on the internet that a pork roast should never be cooked in a slow cooker. Lots of people seem to be of the consensus that there is not enough fat on it. A pork shoulder, maybe. But not a pork roast.

Yet I am fearing not. As long as I don't overcook this meal, I am going to be JUST fine. In fact, as soon as I finish here, I'm going to run to the kitchen and turn the pot on low for the rest of the cooking time. Trust me, once this absolutely fantastic meal is completed... I'm making a date for a wonderful dinner party and then all my friends can ALSO have their mouths water, as well!

Man... I love when miracles happen. So now all I have to do is go out and find an apron embellished with diamonds and pearls. Or of course make one myself. Talk about STUNNING.

(Yea! Hit the showers!)