Monday, January 30, 2012


It's been 7 years since my Mother passed away and 4 years since my Dad's been gone. I still wave to them however, everytime I drive by the cemetery, telling them I love them and miss them... just in case they're floating around in the atmosphere or something. Besides, why pass up a chance to say hi to them?

I certainly miss my Dad, but I miss my Mother just a tad bit more, I think. It must be a "girlie" thing, although it was Dad that I was supposedly most like. In the meantime, I now have LOTS of important things that belonged to my mother. Yet even more important, I have all the incredible lessons she taught me by way her of example. If ever a daughter wanted perfect training on how to run a home on every level possible, boom. Go to my mother and watch how she did it. Plus, she wasn't lazy like me. She cooked, she baked, she knitted, she sewed, she entertained, she used professional alone stand alone ironers, she dressed with great taste and she took care of her family 24/7. She had integrity and dignity and beauty and refinement. Well, unless she was busy telling you a really filthy joke. No wonder... she also had a fantastic sense of humor.

Anyway, it was Claudia who was closest to Mom probably because they were like two peas in a pod. I was more like my Dad. I'm not as patient as my Mom nor do I abide by every rule as she might have. If I feel telling a little white lie will put me in better stead, then hell. I'm happy to do so without hesitation. Without guilt, too. Talk about survival techniques. Both my parents were very generous and I am too. I had a fantastic childhood and my sister, brother and I always felt loved and secure. I didn't always feel understood mind you, but don't forget... I was the middle child, so therefore cut me a little slack.

In the meantime, last week was the anniversary of my Mother's death. Which seemed as perfect a time as ever for me to take in my Dad's gold watch and have it fitted for MY wrist. As in: remove three links and start wearing it. I also have my Dad's solid gold monogrammed lighter AND my Grandfather's, too. Although I use neither, I have them both displayed in my dining room china cabinet. I love my Dad's best however, since it's way flashier and larger than Grandpa's. So up my alley.

Anyway, I picked up the newly sized watch yesterday and let me tell you...IT'S STUNNING. Solid gold, made by a luxury manufacturer, and apparently is not your run of the mill watch. In fact, when I took it in, I had no idea of whether or not it was REALLY solid gold. Nor did I know the value of it. It didn't matter. It was my Dad's and I love it. Oh yeah... I also love his black and gold Timex watch, too. Regardless... I now know the worth, thanks to Chris, the jeweler.

Thus, am I ever in a major dilemma now. WHO THE HELL CAN EVEN WEAR THIS WATCH?? Yes it's beautiful, but once the jeweler told me the value of it, I TOTALLY FREAKED. Huh?? I was hoping to use this as my everyday timepiece, for God sakes. But uh... now... I don't see how THAT'S going to work. I'M TOO SCARED I'LL LOSE IT. Indeed, there is a double protective type clasp but really... one little moment of being out an about and bingo. If ever it falls off without my knowing it... whoa. Goodbye a hefty bunch of thousands of dollars. What is THAT all about? I can't even imagine how devastated I'd feel if I left the house with it on, only to return home without it. I almost feel like I need to put a tracking device on this piece of jewelry. The hell with my car... WHERE'S MY WATCH??

Which only means that as of yet... I've never worn the watch out of the house. Damnit. I would LOVE to make this my everyday watch but geez... is that even SMART? On the other hand, since when do I let intelligence be my only guide?