Wednesday, January 11, 2012


So when driving home from the dermatologist today, I was listening to the radio. And yes, I was listening to my alltime favorite, Howard Stern. Who by the way, is going to be your newest host on America's Got Talent, in case you didn't already know. AND, I'll bet he'll be great, too. But, all that is irrelevant for now.

While listening to Howard, I had to chuckle because as it happens, he was discussing a new app for your smart phone. The app has been filed for patenting by Microsoft and has been unfortunately dubbed AVOID THE GHETTO by some guy at CBS in Seattle. That name alone, made me laugh right out loud. On the other hand, it IS kind of a great idea, if you ask me.

I searched the app online to find out what it's all about yet I couldn't find what the REAL name of the app is going to be. But I DO love the concept. Apparently it's something that will become a new GPS feature and will help us avoid amongst other things, high crime neighborhoods. Especially as a pedestrian. Which for me is PERfect since I am so not into death or rape. And of course why it is such a major rub, since already, people are freaking at the potential for racism and the like. Which I totally understand.

However, let's say I'm in LA, driving around, having no clue whatsoever what neighborhood I'm in nor where gang members are most likely to be hanging out. If I had this new app it would be fantastic. Yippee. I can avoid a drive by shooting EASILY. While I get it that profiling is obviously not politically correct, I still kinda like knowing before hand what my chances are of being killed. I'd also like knowing where crack houses are most likely to be located. Boom. Thanks to this new app I'll be able to stay away from that location lickety split.

Which is precisely why I love my SEX OFFENDERS app so much. It tells me right off the bat exactly where registered sex offenders live so I can be sure not to take any kiddies around the area. I'm thinking Halloween, here. I know. Again, it's not politically correct, but I love the heads' up, nonetheless. Besides with this app, it also shows me what the offender looks like, his/her name, age, and just what his offense was. Shows you how sick I am btw, since I get a major kick out of checking out all the offenders no matter in what location I am. Doctors offices, restaurants, my friends homes, etc. 

Anyway, in addition to supposedly steering you away from bad neighborhoods, I think AVOID THE GHETTO will also offer up other useful information like bad weather perhaps. Trust me... better minds than mine will be able to create great uses for the app than I ever could. I just know I'll probably be mighty damn grateful for the suggestions.

Granted, AVOID THE GHETTO is a little harsh for naming this new app. Probably so is THE HOOD. Which makes me think I wished Mr. Rogers was still alive. I'll bet he'd come up with a happy, friendly name in no time. As in: IFFY AREA maybe? Yeah, that's the ticket. We'd all get the message, but in a softer, gentler kind of way.