TISSUE PAPER

And, I'm not talking the wrapping paper kind of tissue either. Nor Kleenex tissues for blowing your nose. I'm talking about the only kind that REALLY counts... toilet tissue!

To me, this could easily be THE most important discovery since caveman days. Yes, I live per the inventions of paper towels, Diet Coke and the computer, but bathroom tissue??? Probably this surpasses them all in the "must must have" department, if you ask me.

No wonder. I have been blessed, damnit, with a crazy ass digestive system, thus I get major stomach aches all the time. Plus, I apparently have a fine tuned bladder, so what can I say. I've pretty much been FORCED into analyzing this particular product like a retail marketing pro.

Over the years, I have obviously tried all the leading brands and have definitely come up with the only toilet tissue allowed in my master bathroom. CHARMIN STRONG AND SOFT. I think that's the name of it, anyway.

So with this in mind... today was Sunday, which btw, I've recently designated as the day to head to the grocery store. (yes, I'm still feeling the pain of Bonnie still recuperating) In the meantime, after all these years, not only have I become reacquainted with the supermarket, BUT ALSO I made a major discovery today! Get this...

While in the paper goods aisle, I went to buy toilet tissue and.. who knew??... there are actually three different sizes of toilet paper rolls!!! I WAS STUNNED. After examining all the Charmin products, so I could figure out which is the one I'm supposed to buy, lo and behold... I find that the rolls themselves come in either: REGULAR, DOUBLE SIZE OR MEGAROLL SIZES!! Omg... I had no clue. I DID know that I'm very particular about what size I want, but only Bonnie would know which to buy. Today however, I had to figure it all out myself.

Need I even tell you which size roll I always use?? Is there like even a question?? OF COURSE NOT... NATURALLY... THE MEGAROLL SIZE, ONLY. And, I get the huge one with about 12 rolls per package. Which is why today was such a discovery for me. I had to REALLY examine all the choices and only then did I realize for the first time ever... I had a choice of three different roll sizes. Man... where have I BEEN all this time, anyway?? 

On the other hand, at least I knew that I didn't want the blue package... that's the ULTRA SOFT. Which in case you care, is what I need for my kid's bathroom. Apparently he's as particular as I am. The color I want is the red packaging. So basically all this just goes to prove: you DO learn something new everyday, afterall.

Man, am I ever beginning to feel like such an educated consumer. Finally. I know... I know... better late than never, right? My mother would be so proud of me. I think, anyway.