Thursday, September 20, 2012

THE EYES HAVE IT

Yippee. Thank God THAT'S over. I'm back in tip top shape once again. 

For the past couple of weeks or more, I have had to be at my eye doctor's every day and/or every other day. It was becoming a major pain in the ass, but then I finally had no choice and decided: forget about the bitching... which I'm pretty good at actually... and just go with the flow of it all. It's amazing how nicely things can work out once you just say the hell with everything.

Anyway... that's just what I did. Kinda like: if you can't lick 'em, join 'em. Regardless... I have to do all kinds of shit due to dry eyes and one eye lid not having fully closed yet after the surgery. Thankfully that part's over with. So... now with eye lid closing once again, I'm now back to just dealing with the dry eye bit.

Actually, that's a condition all my doctors knew about before going into this face bit so we all figured I'd have to be diligent about the drops, etc. during recovery. However, I also have to use a greasy sort of ointment just before bedtime on one particular eye to be SURE that it is getting enough lubrication. The reason to use it at bedtime only?? Get this...

Once you apply the ointment to the inside of the lower lid... boom, EVERYTHING BECOMES TOTALLY BLURRY. So you're supposed to apply it, hop into bed and boom. Turn off the nightstand light immediately. Well, that's what you're SUPPOSED to do, anyway.

Me? I had to switch things up a bit. As in: once I applied the ointment, I then naturally had to go to the bathroom, then naturally get a drink since I was thirsty again and on yeah... had to watch at least one short show on TV. Which of course I did relying way more of my other eye.

In the meantime, I decided every once in a while to kinda practice for when I become REALLY REALLY old and lose my eyesight altogether. How do I practice, you may ask?? Easy. I VIEW EVERYTHING WITH MY BLURRY EYE ONLY!! OMG... you can't even imagine. I actually now know exactly what it's like to not even come close to passing your Drivers' Test when you turn 90. It's crazy. You can't see shit!

I mean... I can see outlines of things, and can kinda get around my house and I can maybe see people on TV but as for details?? NADA. BLIND AS A BAT. You could never see that sort of thing. As in: DEFINITELY forget about putting on eye makeup or hand sewing or reading anything or probably even cooking. Well, other than MAYBE making a bowl of cereal but even that would have it's challenges. Couple that with the fact I already have macular vascular eye disease, and I'm telling you... I've got to start interviewing chauffeurs in a no time! God forbid.

The good news however is that by morning, the blurriness from the ointment is pretty much gone. Of course I then have to begin my daily regiment of applying liquid eye drops every few hours ALL OVER AGAIN. Geez. Talk about keeping me on my toes.

The other good news is that for now: I can still see! YIPPEE. Thank God for small favors. And thank God for my doctors. Oh yeah... did I tell you I'll need cataract surgery in like five years maybe? I'm so telling you... my freakin' body is aging... right before my very eyes. Literally AND figuratively.

1 comment:

  1. I am legally blind in my left eye due to a condition called keratoconus (which means instead of being rounded my cornea is more pointed..cone-shaped). don't know when I got it but was first diagnosed in my 20's only cause I had to have an eye exam as part of a physical to get the IRS job..failed the eye exam and to get hired had to get a waiver from the national office. no cure (some can get a corneal transplant but of course I didn't qualify). anyway I'm used to it but I don't try to get around using just the left eye or I'd be in big trouble!

    ReplyDelete