Monday, February 18, 2013


Actually, I should only BE so lucky. As we speak, I am awaiting Adam, the 24 hour plumber guy to head on over here. Bear in mind, it's just after one in the morning. Don't ask. All I know is that 1.) I tried getting into the shower a half hour ago only to find I have no hot water and 2.) when I went to the garage to check out the hot water heater, pretending I have a clue as to what it's all about... boom. I see water leaking from it all over the floor. Jesus... SO not what I want to see.   

The funny thing is... I swear... my next blog was going to be all about the shower, too! In which case I'll just go ahead and tell the story now. So listen to THIS.

My take is that unless you're five years old, you never ever forget to shower for two days. Unless of course.... sitting down???... YOU'RE ME. OMG. I can't believe that four days ago... I went two whole days without showering. At all! I'VE LOST MY MIND COMPLETELY??? I BELONG LIVING IN THE WILD?? Apparently so.

Turns out that due to Claudia's edict 15 years ago, I began showering at night rather than in the morning. I wasn't totally crazy about it, but on the other hand, her command has really worked out much more to my liking, given it EASILY takes off 25 minutes of prep time when I brush my teeth, put on makeup, do my hair and dress for the day. It was like an ingenious switch up... and one that I've followed ever since Claudia made me do it. Her take was that not only does it cut dressing time in half but more importantly... who would get into bed each night withOUT being freshly showered?? Point taken.

However... come to find out.. about four days ago, I got just so busy that night that I was totally exhausted and eventually hopped right smack into bed... and slept like a baby, I might add. In the meantime when I woke up the next morning I literally said to myself: OMG. I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SHOWER LAST NIGHT!! Which I figured was no earth shattering deal, since I would do so in about an hour. Okay. That should work. That was also day one without bathing.

BUT... said shower never even came to pass in that hour since I had gotten a phone call, was told I was to meet with someone lickety split, so had to hurry up to do my teeth, makeup, hair, etc and head right smack out the door. Again, I figured it was no earth shattering deal since once I got home a couple hours later, I would just shower THEN. Seemed do-able enough.

HOWEVER... as the day rolled on by I then began to think: HEY... HALF THE DAY IS ALREADY GONE SO WHY NOT JUST WAIT TIL TONIGHT, WHICH IS MY REGULAR SHOWER TIME ANYWAY, AND SIMPLY GET BACK ON SCHEDULE, THEN?? Which is exactly what I did. Lived my entire day and night, doing all the things I normally do and eventually get to my shower bit.

Just one glitch though. I got done with my yoga really late that night and I was starved afterwards so had a really late dinner and then watched some late night TV, etc. etc. until boom. Before I knew it... I just HAD to get some sleep. I was completely bushed. Which only meant: Sitting down? EEKS. DAY TWO WITH AGAIN, NO SHOWER.  

Holy crapoly. I AM a good for nothing wild beast of a woman afterall!! TWO WHOLE DAYS AND NO BATHING WHATSOEVER. I was totally embarrassed for myself. AND praying that I didn't have to run to the ER or somewhere that night where I'd be humiliated that someone would find out what my personal hygiene practices REALLY are. Oh man... I can't even believe this happened.

The good news however is that FINALLY... on day three, as soon as I woke up... YIPPEE. I HOPPED RIGHT IN THE SHOWER AND FELT LIKE A NEW WOMAN IMMEDIATELY. And best of all, I got back on schedule. Thank GOD for small favors.

The bad news is... uh oh... I'm apparently going to bed without a hot shower yet AGAIN tonight. Totally screwing up my entire bathing practices all over again. So much for cleanliness being next to Godliness. Which believe it or not IS my normal guiding principle in life.

Now... off to go greet Adam. Whom I'm sure is freshly bathed. For which I'm way jealous, too. 

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