JOB WELL DONE

I totally have to give myself credit. As I've mentioned before... ever since the Pantone Color Institute announced that Rose Quartz was their color of the year, I have made it my full time job to be sure I secured every fashion garment known to man and in my size, to create a wardrobe of the the most stunning pale pinks ever. I looked in stores, I looked online, I looked everywhere... and as of today... I have to completely pat myself on the back. Yippee. Mission finally completed!! And I am thrilled to no end.

I now have a fantastic wardrobe of beautiful pink slacks, tops, cardigan dusters, sweaters, crop pants, accessories, skirts, gaucho pants, etc. etc. You name it, I bought it and thus added it to my zillions of other pieces of clothing. In every thing from casual to dressy, from winter weight to summer weight, from cheapie costs to pricey bucks... and everything in between. Some people create art work or music or gardens. I create a major personal wardrobe. And frankly.... I just couldn't be happier.

My extensive search pretty much ended the other day however (I hope) with a delivery from Neiman Marcus where I found in their online Last Call department the most stunning pink cashmere dress/tunic you ever saw. The shade of pink is THE perfect color and I was delighted not only to have received it but also to have worn it the other night to the MOST fantastic two hour show of Elvis' best songs EVER. I swear to God... the guy was almost better than Elvis himself! I didn't even have to die to go to heaven.... I WAS in heaven right smack there in the theater. But.... I digress. 

How much money I may have spent on all these lovely pale pink clothing items, I have no clue. But I couldn't care less because the bottom line is: once this year is kaput, that will totally be it for Rose Quartz selections. A new color of the year will enter in 2017 and boom. My chance to load up on my favorite color... other than white... will gone forever. Oh yeah... I also loaded up on some simply gorgeous pale blues, too.

Which has all come about just in time for Spring. So far the weather this Spring has been outstanding and you can so be sure I'm wearing my pale mints, pale pinks and pale blues like there's no tomorrow. Well except for tonight that is, given I'm headed to a catered barbeque and I wouldn't dare take a chance of spilling only God knows what in the lap of my pretty pastels. I mean I'm pretty good at laundering stains but seriously. Barbeque sauce on pink? Totally can't be a good thing.

What IS a good thing, btw, is the fact that after two weeks on Prednisone for my lower back, my feet are FINALLY coming back to normal size. Oh man. I can't beLIEVE the swelling I was dealing with last week. It was so freaky. I totally love my ankles and yet for  the past week they were triple the size! Let alone the withdrawals I was having from the drug. Jesus. I felt like I was coming down from coke or something. VERY weird. 

On the other hand, I LOVED the speed that must be in the med for I am telling you... like I think I've mentioned in another post... I got more chores done in 2 weeks than in the past 12 months! It was soooo fantastic. Granted, the 4 day crash from it all was not pleasant at all, but hey, was totally worth it given I checked HORDES off items off my To Do list. In the meantime....

I'm going to see Amy Schumer this weekend... yippee!... and I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing pink. Which reminds me of that Pink Moon picture you see up above. Despite the color, the moon doesn't actually turn pink, but regardless, the American Indians... may moons ago... decided to call the April full moon the Pink Moon in honor of the pink flowers that grow during Spring. 

And I can totally vouch for that. You should SEE the stunning magenta pink rhododendron blooms I now have on the plants in my front garden. OMG. Soooo beautiful and totally pink. The exact pink, btw, that I DON'T want in my clothing. Way too intense in the color dept. if you ask me. For outdoors? Fantastic. For my wardrobe? Uh... no thanks. On the other hand if it's good enough for God, maybe it should be good for me. But I'm totally not sold on it yet. Here. Check out the blooms for yourself. Outstanding, right??

OMG. I'M IN TOTAL SHOCK. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Just as I typed that line about not being good for my wardrobe, I happened to look down and lo and behold you won't beLIEVE what color pink is in the top I'm wearing, as we speak!! I have on a great white tunic with lots of pale pink geometric flowers printed on it... ALL OUTLINED IN THE EXACT DEEP MAGENTA PINK THAT MATCH THE RHODODENDRONS THAT ARE IN THE GARDEN. Wow. I had NO clue I had that deep pink color in my closet let alone currently on my body. Man. That's so nuts especially since I love this top and wear it often. Jesus. Yet again... what a jerk I am.


In the meantime I've major binged, listening to Purple Rain a zillion times already. Sooo f'ing great. 

BAPTISTS' GOT TALENT

Oh man... I so can't believe what happened when I woke up a couple of Sundays ago. Well... the second time I woke up, anyway. 

I first got up about 8:30 and puttered around until CBS SUNDAY MORNING came on TV, which btw just possibly COULD be the best show on the airways, but whatever. I then got back into bed to watch it at 9:00, and the next thing I know, I'm back fast asleep until 12:15, with the TV still on. I know. I'm blessed that way. Regardless... as I awakened once again, eyes still closed, I heard on television this incredible singing from an incredible chorus and I couldn't iMAGine what the hell it was all about.

Turns out: I was listening to this AMAZING choir, made up of zillions of people on stage, from the First Baptist Church of Spartanburg... a city about an hour away from me. And lo and behold this choir was singing their pretty little religious hearts out to praise God like all get out. Regular people from the congregation no less. I could not believe my eyes nor my ears. The voices flabbergasted me and I swear to God... no pun intended... they so could be on America's Got Talent. And, they could actually WIN. The soloists were fantastic and together with the orchestra and backup chorus, boom. These people are going straight to heaven for SURE. Some songs were totally rockin' it. Some were were mellow. All were praising God like nothing I've ever seen before. Big overhead screens, major musical and/or speaker set ups, astounding soloists and a really talented choir.

It was crazy because I was totally MESMERIZED by these people. I sat up in bed, not able to move, and watched for at least 25 minutes, thinking any day now I could easily become a Baptist myself. I can't even tell you how huge the sanctuary was! Plus, I almost feel as if one Sunday I've totally got to take a ride to this place and check it out in person. This could even almost certainly become a tourist stop for anyone who comes to visit me. 

GUESS WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY? WE'RE GOING TO CHURCH! TO HEAR AN INCREDIBLE RELIGIOUS CONCERT! DON'T WORRY... GOD WILL BLESS US FOR LISTENING. BESIDES, YOU'LL LOVE THE SERMON. Then of course we'll go have some bagels, lox and cream cheese afterwards. Even some cherry cheesecake. Or maybe some matzah ball soup, for all I know. Anyway...

What struck me even more was the fact 1.) no one on stage was wearing a choral robe 2.) everyone could sway anyway the music moved them and most importantly... 3.) everyone was 40 years or older!! As in: up to the age of 75, for sure. Major blue haired seniors SO rocking it for God! I am so telling you... this church choir, singing all kinds of praises to God, had me but good. I couldn't move. As I said... I was so damn focused on this deal it was almost embarrassing.  

Now I do have to say that in my tiny little city, Baptist churches are a dime a dozen. I don't get it but man... they fill each and every one of these churches every Sunday . Don't even go near one at 11:00 on a Sunday morning for you'll be embroiled in a traffic jam as if you were on an L.A. freeway. It's nuts. Where everyone lives, I have no idea for my town isn't even that big. I also have to say... Baptists are notorious for being some mighty religiously and morally strict people. Dancing, swearing and drinking are pretty much taboo. Add to that a SOUTHERN Baptist and whoa. You totally have squeaky clean and lily white followers. HUH? PORN?? WHAT'S THAT??

Therefore suffice it to say, they'd want ME in their midst for all of about 10 minutes and then bingo. They'd send me on my way but FAST. Trust me... Dr. Don Wilton, the pastor of the Spartanburg church, would totally cringe were we chitchatting it up at some cocktail party, let's say. Oops. I forgot... no liquor allowed, so it'd have to be a coketail party at best. My political views alone, would put the pastor into a frenzy, I am sure. Recreational drugs and premarital sex could make him drop to the floor altogether. Although I do love listening to him speak given he comes from South Africa and I must admit his voice/accent is kinda catchy alright.  

It matters not however since basically while I'd love to see this BLUE HAIR CHOIR OF N.C. in person, I just have to watch it on TV. I could never be up and out in time to make an hour's trip to see this Baptist church in person. Besides... were I to begin attending on a weekly basis  I'll so have to switch up my religious affiliation and I definitely am not into that. I love to dance, swear, drink cocktails, watch racy movies and vote liberal too much. So not what Baptists are into.

An even better reason for not seeing this choir in person... regardless of HOW much singing talent they have... is the fact WHO THE HELL WANTS TO GET UP FOR A 9:00 OR 10:00 SERVICE ON A SUNDAY MORNING, ANYWAY?? What time do these people go to bed on a Saturday night?? 10:00 p.m?? Frankly... I can hardly even be ready for breakfast by 11:00 at a restaurant a mere ten minutes away, even. So much for my becoming a religious zealot in the Southern Baptist Church, I guess. Speaking of which...

Let me just close with this simply delicious tidbit about a REAL religious zealot... Ted Cruz. I so pray (no pun intended) this turns out to be true. It's right smack up my alley alright. Check it out and then hopefully we can give Ted the boot once and for all.
Hello Heidi ?? Sitting down?? 
    



  

OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS

Or better yet... what a relief I HOPE it will be. See how happy and smiley I am in the picture up above? Yeah... well, that was shot taken about a week before all this crapola began. 

Man. What a crazy ass thing this deal is. For those of you who remember... at this time last year I could hardly stand and/or walk due to lower lumbar back problems. I was not only in the worst pain I've ever felt... well, except for the kidney stone I had several years ago maybe... but I also totally wanted to cash things in and just kick the bucket altogether. So get this...

Apparently, right smack out of the blue, the same pain has decided to return. Granted not with the same horrible intensity mind you, but still... enough to make me simply miserable for the past three months. And kinda like last year... I almost want to cash things in and just kick the buck once again. 

Month One I just lived with the pain. Month Two I went to the doctor and got some anti-inflammatory meds which did absolutely nothing for me. Finally, Month Three I went to my bone and joint specialist who ordered an MRI. Don't f'ing ask. I totally don't do well going into tubes allowing my claustrophobia to kick in and scare the livin' shit out of me. Hence if I was going to have to do this procedure, I told the specialist to definitely give me calming meds that would render me just short of being knocked out cold. Which he did, and which worked perfectly well as it turns out.

So last week I had the open MRI and today I went back to the doctor to review the results. Uh... they weren't catastrophic but they weren't so hotsi totsi either. Turns out the imaging showed exactly what was going on which boils down to: a protrusion between my lumbar 4 and lumbar 5 discs with some stenosis (whatever the hell that means) which in turn was pressing against a nerve. Thus accounting for the  pain I was experiencing the past 12 weeks. BTW... this is a watered down description of what I think the doctor was saying but whatever. I zoned out after the next part. Anyway...

I of course, simply wanted narcotic pain killers and call it a day. But the doctor said: not so fast. What you really need is a cortisone shot in between the two discs which would 1.) kill the pain for a long time, hopefully and 2.) maybe even reduce the pain for ever. WHAT?? A SHOT IN MY LOWER BACK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? WITH A LONG ASS NEEDLE? A PROCEDURE THAT COULD IN MY MIND BE AS PAINFUL JUST IN OF ITSELF AS MY LOWER BACK IS RIGHT NOW?? Omg. Don't even ask how long it's going to take for me to wrap my head around THIS new deal. My heart started pounding immediately from the second the doctor told me about all this crap, right smack up to this very exact moment. It's just crazy. In the meantime...

I eventually said to the doctor: Okay. So I have to have this procedure. But up until the day I have it done... uh... what pain meds can I take NOW to give me some relief? He didn't want to go down the narcotic road unfortunately but he did give me a script for 45 Tylenol with Codeine pills. Thank God. Am happy to say I've already taken two and am totally hoping I'll be walking around much happier in no time at all. Otherwise I just may have to resort to my own personal drug store and search for some Vicodin or Oxycodone. All I know is: I'm so not happy about having shots jammed into my spine. It was some bullshit office visit is all I can say. 

On the other hand, I also happened to have an appointment with my internist later in the day, for my quarterly sugar results and yippee. My numbers are good plus I lost yet another 3 pounds. In fact, I haven't been this weight in God knows how many years and if this keeps up I'll be withering away to nothing. Well... until the shot in the back bit, anyway. Which will be in Month Four, btw. I so will be filling my face with every dessert and french fry known to man to help ease my anxiety. Jesus. Talk about being major freaked. Although there were tons of people in the doctor's office who told me they knew plenty of people who have had this shot bit and it was a complete breeze. Yeah, right.    


By the way... Month Five will be my birthday month and I so would love to have all this behind me by that time. Especially so I can then celebrate with a fantastic white sheet cake with white butter cream icing and a side of chocolate rocky road ice cream! For THAT I totally can't wait. Assuming of course that the spine shot doctor doesn't screw up and render me incapable of walking ever again. Should that God forbid happen, you can be sure this will be the last birthday I'll ever see. I don't do well with pain but I certainly don't do well with immobility. 

Which brings me right back to that happy picture. Memorize it given it could well be the last time I'm walking around thrilled to be smiling. In all honesty however... I do have high hopes for this spinal shot to be successful and to actually do the trick. What I'm not thrilled about is what's going on in my head until the deed is actually done. 

Maybe the high faluntin' restaurant I'm going to for dinner tonight will help to ease my worries. If not... a Junior Whopper with fries and a shake certainly will. I so have to consider eating this sometime next week.            

TGIF

Fridays have certainly been one of my alltime favorite days for ever. No wonder... it's the WEEKEND! Although, once I was in college... and from there on after, I totally decided weekends began on Thursday afternoons. Kinda like: time for the pre-weekend festivities to kick in with mighty gusto. Besides... all my favorite Must See TV sitcoms like Cheers, Friends, Seinfeld, etc. were on Thursday nights. Even Taxi, I believe. So boom. There's proof enough that the weekend was well underway. Getting back to Fridays however...

As many of you may know... I simply adore Bill Maher. Who is on television Friday nights. Along with my other favorite btw: Shark Tank. In the meantime, I watch Bill every week, and trust me... the weeks' he's off are major bummers for me. When he's off for the summer months I want to slit my wrists altogether and I totally await with bated breath his return each autumn. It's kinda like a Xmas morning for me. YIPPPEE. BILL'S BACK. LIFE CAN RETURN TO NORMAL ONCE AGAIN! Besides... now that Downton Abbey is kaput I need Bill more than ever.

Therefore you can only imagine how thrilled I was to hear he was coming to my local indoor arena! Oops. I mean US Cellular Center which apparently is what it goes by nowadays. Regardless... talk about being tickled pink. I had seen Bill Maher when he was there a few years ago and was pretty stoked he was now back once again. Even better was the deal whereby we decided only hours before the show to see him and yet we could still get excellent seats (fourth row, right of center) for a totally reasonable price. Well... if $100 a ticket is in your price range that is, but who cares. I always figure: it's WAY less expensive than flying out to California and paying for hotel, food, transportation, etc. Oh yeah. I almost forgot...

I totally thought I would literally keel over btw, given we parked in a lot behind the arena and I am so telling you... the semi long walk around to the front of the building was completely on an upward slant, getting higher and higher with each step. MY CALVES WERE KILLING ME. Also... it was COLD that night so I had on my heavy winter coat, etc. and by the time I got to the front door I was practically in need of a bed for a nice, restful nap. Not to mention possible resuscitation. Jesus. It was so nuts. Actually... up until that evening I was thinking I should make my annual appointment for a stress test at the cardiologist but man. After that walk... I decided I passed the stress test with flying colors save for the fact I was surely about to expire. Anyway...

As you can see from the crappy cell phone picture up above, I did indeed make into the arena alive and was soooo excited to see the show. What really got me was the fact that this place is obviously HUGE and I am basically living right smack in the middle of the Right Wing Bible Belt... yet the place was packed to the gills. Who knew I was living amongst so many other political liberals? Not to mention highly educated. Seriously... this area is loaded with Southern Baptists. Not at this event, however. Were this a holy roller Evangelical tent event, the place would have been standing room only, with overflow all over the downtown streets, trust me. But whatever. Even more surprising btw, was the fact that sitting right smack behind me sat my eye disease specialist whom I figured would be the last person I'd ever expect to see. Yay Dr. L.! Regardless...

Bill Maher had the arena FILLED with people just craving to hear his take on the political state of current affairs. Which was pretty fortuitous btw, given it was also the day of the Republican South Carolina Primary which if you'll recall, was a landslide for Trump. This was SO up Bill's alley. His entire show was nothing less than brilliant. I cannot TELL you how much I laughed nor how spot on he was in each and every observation of the recent political circus. For a news junkie like myself this was major heaven on earth. 

I am trying to remember my favorite bit of his, but I swear to God, each one was even better than the other so I guess it wouldn't be fair to call out just one. Which is also a polite way of saying: who the F can even remember, given I'm old and the show was like what? A month ago maybe? Just take it from me... the entire show was simply fantastic.     

I guess the only other thing I can tell you is... if ever you're in the mood for some highly intelligent discussions and equally intelligent views via Bill Maher, not only watch his show every week, but certainly be sure to see him if ever he comes to your town. You so won't be disappointed. You'll roll on the floor laughing your ass off and you'll be in an arena with like minded people as brilliant as myself. (I know but I just had to throw that in)

Lastly... while I was with Bill right after the polls closed in South Carolina let me just say tonight the polls in North Carolina closed about 15 minutes ago. I am almost afraid to watch the results although I will so be glued to my TV. I Felt the Bern alright, and voted for Sanders in early voting but I am pretty sure Hillary will take the night. Trump on the other hand? 

OH. MY. GOD. This guy should make you SHIVER with fear in the unlikely event he wins! Holy Fuck. If he wins tonight and then goes on to defeat the Democratic candidate PACK YOUR BAGS NOW. In fact... here's a great educational article I can offer up for us in case we DO have a President Trump. Grab Your Suitcase Scroll down and you'll see just what we need to know about moving to Canada. LOL 

I particularly love the last item we need to know which is: learn French. Which is way too bad given I myself am schooled in Spanish only. On the other hand... if I go to Toronto... that city and a slew of others, are heavy into English. Whew.

In closing: while sitting here, I just heard Trump won Florida over Rubio. YIPPEE. I hate Lil Marco. Although I will admit... he made an excellent point whereby I'd LOVE to know what sort of package each of the candidates are sporting. Takes judging a book by it's cover to a whole new level, right?? However... Lyndon B. Johnson wins that prize, hands down, but whatever.

Regardless, we're major screwed no matter who wins the Republican Primary which makes me only want to be sure to hear Bill Maher even MORE this week. I urge you to do the same.           

MY EXCELLENT NEW HOBBY

Stop the presses. THE most fantastic new idea has come to TV and I totally cannot get enough of it. It makes karaoke sooo passé. What can it be, you may ask? Easy: it's the new lip syncing battles all over television and it's FANTASTIC. I so love this. Mainly because any of us can do it and any of us would be great!

I love it so much, that I was up for hours and hours the other night watching hordes of lip syncing clips on YouTube and though I marched into the bedroom barely able to stand up any more, it was so well worth it. Well... okay. I had to also watch a zillion other videos since I always seem to get led from one clip right smack into another but whatever. I think I finally ended with Pink and Nate Ruess singing JUST GIVE ME A REASON, which I adore, btw.

In the meantime, how I even came across this brand new delight I don't even remember. Oh wait... I do. Over a year ago I began watching videos of Jimmy Fallon and guests battle it out with lip syncing and they were way stupendous. In fact... if you so desire and have loads of downtime, definitely check them out at: Jimmy! You won't be disappointed, I promise. I particularly love Kevin Hart singing Katy Perry's Roar... totally great!

Then about a year ago, James Corden from the Late Late Show decided to do an even better deal.

He decided to get top notch great singing stars to ride in a car with him, and just like you and I do, they not only chit chat but also sing to that particular star's music via CD I guess. OUTRAGEOUSLY great viewing. And listening. Each segment is about 10 minutes long, so you get to hear several hit songs being sung by the two of them. Btw... I cannot beLIEVE how well James knows every word to every song but then again I can do the same for every song from about 1950 I bet. Granted, when you begin getting near the year 2000 my personal lip syncing playlist ability goes down like a submarine, but still... there are plenty I do know, believe it or not. In the meantime, you so should head over to James! to watch all of his incredible videos.

Now as if THAT'S not enough....

Along comes Spike TV where LL Cool J hosts a show on which out and out actor celebrities lip sync on a show called LIP SYNC BATTLE so now for SURE I'm in my musical glory. DEFinitely check out: LL Cool! and watch. Soooo up my musical alley! My alltime favorite btw is the battle between Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway. 

Not only does Emily sing Janis Joplin PERFECTLY but when Anne climbs upon the wrecking ball I went nuts with delight. Speaking of which... EVERYone in all these lip syncing battles sings each and every word to a tee!!! Here... check this out and see if you agree about Emily vs. Anne. Not a single mistake in the whole bunch! Spoiler alert btw... you absolutely need to record LL's show because you'll want to see the battle itself only... the other parts suck... so you'll want to fast forward for sure. Or... just watch the YouTube clips. Anyway...  

Some of my alltime favorite car rides were always when I was with whomever and together we would belts out songs aplenty while the CD ... dare I say even with cassette tapes, too... blared out our best loved musical tunes. In fact once, while on a 3 hour car trip from Chicago, Illinois to Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin I sang EVERY song that came on the doo wop rock and roll station, delighting my husband to no end. And best of all... forget about the fun you will have singing with friends, but talk about making the entire drive seem to fly by!! Anyway...


In my next life I always said I wanted to come back as a stunning, famous, wealthy singing star. Being Tina Turner would be ideal save for Ike beating me up. On the other hand, if I returned as a male then the genius of Elton John would good... bypassing my being gay though. I do love dressing up however, so maybe it could work out afterall. In any case, having a voice would definitely help and unfortunately mine is totally flat which I guess accounts for my not being famous in this life. I'm not even stunning nor wealthy so all in all, I'm doomed until I reincarnate. 

I do have a microphone in my kitchen area though so anyone who DOES have great voice is always welcome to put in some music and happily entertain me for an hour or so. Being entertained IS a favorite delight of mine, don't forget. Btw... what is really great about all these battles is the fact that each contestant chooses the song rather than the artist which almost always means: a he is singing a song by a she. And a she is singing a song by a he. No gender barriers at all, in other words. Just great music.

And speaking of music... yippee. Tonight is the Oscars and I'm counting on it be wonderful viewing. I've seen alot of the nominated movies and frankly... would love to see Spotlight win as best film. I also loved Brooklyn. The Big Short is a must see btw just to affirm the fact the entire financial sector of our country is crooked and wicked. Kinda like our Republican congressmen. Just saying.

PINK... THE NEW NEUTRAL

When I was a little girl my Mother always dressed me in pink and my sister in blue. Especially if it was for special occasions. And frankly, I was pretty happy with those color choices. In fact, not until I became blonde and now silver, did I ever wear shades of blue. Thus pink was always a favorite of mine, and so it remains to this very day. Not hideous, garish shades of neon pink... but soft, pale, happy colored pink. Which reminds me...

Have any clue just how many shades of pink there actually are?? Oh man... so unbelievable. Case in point: you want flamingo, salmon, dusty rose, vintage pink, blush, bubblegum, fuchsia, raspberry or even cotton candy maybe?? And if that's not enough, this is a mere short list of the pinks from which you can choose! Seriously. There are hundreds of shades and most of them make me nauseous. I don't want a lavender pink. I don't want a peachy pink. I don't want a major saturated pink. I don't want a frilly, 11 year old girly pink. I just want a stunning soft, pale, sophisticated pink.

I found it in a pair of my shoes. I found it in several of my shirts. I found it in a favorite handbag. I even found it in a soft fur like infinity scarf that I love wearing around my neck to keep it nice and toasty with my winter coat . And then... OMG. I FOUND IT IN A COTTON/QUILTED BEDSPREAD. Don't even ASK. I am so delighted I cannot even tell you! You see it up above in the picture and I just couldn't be happier.

Talk about a total stroke of luck btw, since it was such a fluke that I even walked into the store to begin with. Of course there is a slight glitch I must admit; however I shan't let that stop me from being madly in love. Turns out the only matching shams they have, come in either standard or euro size and no matter how often I search online, I can't find the king sized. Damnit. However I can live with that since apparently I had to sew my own pair of matching shams, but no big deal. I was totally up for the challenge.

This is so going to be a banner year for me btw, given this pale pink is the color of the year. YIPPEE. IT'S ABOUT F'ING TIME is all I can say. Thus my many many thanks to Leatrice Eiseman, from the Pantone Color Institute, who selects the top color each year. Forget about emerald. Forget about orchid. And surely forget about tangerine... all past colors of the year, I might add; let alone 4 million other colors. FINALLY IT'S PALE PINK'S TURN. In fact, the official color is named ROSE QUARTZ but as if that's not enough... 

THIS year they couldn't even decide on just one color... SO THEY WENT WITH TWO!! The other being Serenity Blue but that color sucks in my book. It looks way too much like Wedgewood blue but who's counting. Pair up the pale pink with pale beige or even white sheets and a couple of upscale-y looking throw pillows and bingo. You've got a home run. 

Plus... this pink is also now considered a perfect neutral so as not to comPLETEly freak out men joining you in the bedroom... always a consideration if you ask me. I mean seriously. If Mamie Eisenhower could get Ike to live within HER floral pink bedroom and bathroom, then THIS color will be a breeze for men to live with, trust me. 

Well, as long he's sharing the room with a woman, that is. Otherwise I'd have to think twice about the guy. Just saying. Besides... men should have way more interest in other bedroom concerns than a highly sophisticated pink, if you catch my drift. On the other hand, switching out the pillow color is major easy to help the look more manly if need be. After all, pale pink coupled with a chocolate brown color is considered major stunning.  In the meantime...

I had gone out to dinner tonight and as soon as we were finished I hightailed it right smack over to my local fabric store to see what sort of choices I had for making matching shams and/or pillow cases. I had already ordered some sheets online, and am pretty psyched about them, too. Turns out the pillowcases and the sheets go perfectly with the bedspread am totally sitting pretty in pink. Oops. I mean sleeping.

BTW... don't come over to my house today. All this bedroom linens deal lit a fire under my ass and next thing you know, I went through all my entire linen closet, purging huge amounts of linens. Hence there are old pillow cases and sheets strewn all over my family room as we speak. Case in point: I never use a top sheet... merely my comforter, microfiber blanket, duvet cover or bedspread. 

Consequently I have about 6 or 7 top sheets I need to discard unless I first decide to make extra pillow cases out of them first. I've already cut apart 2 sets so whether or not I do the others will depend on just how lazy I am. Which has a better than good shot at being the end game, believe me. Regardless...

I'm so loving my pink quilted blanket. It makes me smile everytime I enter my bedroom. And yes... I do normally make my bed almost every day. I have to, given I love to get into a well made bed each night. As in: nice shower, nice night gown, nice inviting bed. Boom. I'm ready for lovely dreams. Which is pretty well timed if you ask me given Valentine's Day was just yesterday. Which naturally means: chocolates on the nightstand. It's kind of like a rule, right?


Anyway... just in case you're wondering... here are two pictures of me in pink. The first is at my brother's Bar Mitzvah. I know... don't ask. What totally ass holy little girls Claudia and I looked like. Trust me... we still cringe at what utter dorks we were back then. I was 8 and Claudia was 7. What can I say other than: barf. 

Regardless... the other picture is me as a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. Big difference, right? Talk about thank God for small favors. BTW... how much do I love the gloves!! I still do, to this day.

WHITE HAIR REVISITED

I do have to start off by saying I had a perfectly fine holiday season. I totally love when that happens. I also totally love that... lo and behold... I do pretty much think: mission accomplished! 

I had predicted that by New Year's day I'd have totally white hair. Well... it almost happened, as you can see up above. Case in point: I'm not really white like my Mom. Instead I'm silver. Another case in point... I have about another half inch to go on my longest side, before I can claim absolute victory. I'm not complaining however, given many folks have given the natural color a resounding thumbs up. Not that I necessarily listen to these folks mind you, since I myself know what I like best, I know what looks best and basically I know what best captures my personal fashion sense. Or lack of it, but who's counting.

Okay. So that's the first tidbit I have to say. The next one is that OMG. Winter arrived last weekend and it' f'ing freezing outside! Yesterday I thought I was living in the "Land of Lincoln" state of Illinois with temps like those in the "Green Mountain State" of Vermont. Combine these two places and bingo. IT'S COLD AS SHIT. Not that it's all bad btw, since it totally gives me a chance to wear my alltime favorite mink. 

The third tidbit I have to pass along is: I'm a total idiot. But it's not necessarily my fault since I really blame the keyless entry folks who made my car. For some reason they decided we didn't need actual keys to get into our cars anymore and consequently, we're basically scammed into thinking we turned our car off when in fact we didn't. 

Case in point: last week I went to meet up with a bunch of people for lunch and next thing you know, I find a great parking place, I gathered my coat and purse, got out of the car and then headed on in to the restaurant. I must have been inside for almost a couple of hours and when it was all over, I happily marched back to my car. Even as I approached it I was stymied cause I couldn't figure out why the hell my headlights were on. Huh? WTF?? How'd that happen? Why did it happen? What's going on here, anyway? 

Turns out: MY CAR WAS STILL RUNNING. The entire time I was having lunch no less!!! The keyless entry system in no way let me know that I hadn't turned off the ignintion! I don't think, anyway. Oh man. I can't even believe someone didn't hop right in and totally drive away. Don't even ask. So much for bullshit inventions, if you ask me. In any case...

The fourth tidbit I should mention is kind of interesting. I got out of the shower a couple nights ago and went to grab my beloved white bath robe since I'm always freezing when I step out. Oops. No robe on the hook. Apparently I completely forgot I had washed it and it was still in the dryer which naturally did me no good while hopping out of the shower. So I immediately headed to my closet and grabbed the red, heavy Japanese silk robe that belonged to my Dad and which I just couldn't ditch when he passed away. Talk about warm! I was in my toasty glory. 

Was even MORE in my glory however, when I put it on, tied the sash and then put my hand into one of the pockets. All of a sudden I'm feeling something and was STUNNED when I pulled my hand out only to find I was holding onto... sitting down??... a baggie with at least a half ounce of pot!! OMG. I have no idea where it came from! I laugh even now just thinking about it. Jesus. Can you even imagine?? All I can think of is that I must have hid it there years ago and totally forgot about it ever since. One hell of an after bath body splash is all I can say. Use the splash. Boom. You're mighty trashed.

Which kind of brings me back to my silver hair. Which btw, someone at the vitamin store complimented me on yesterday. Although they used the term platinum to describe it's color. As in: the silver metal. But whatever. My problem now is that while yes, I am almost totally silver... according to my bathroom lights above the sinks... I'm still blonde!! Damnit. The bulbs seem to cast this yellow light upon my hair and after all this time trying to go natural, it pisses me off but plenty. I not only want my silver hair but I also want to SEE my silver hair. Which actually I can do if I take a mere 10 steps to my bedroom's long view mirror. Yippee. No yellow casting light bulbs. 

As a side issue btw, my next project just may be to let my hair grow to chin length so I can once again pull my hair back into a chignon. THAT project however is going to take another freakin' year and I can't imagine my being able to commit to it as of yet.  On the other hand... if I begin now... by NEXT New Years, I will be sporting scrunchies up the kazoo once again. Do they even come in a silver color? Hmmmm. Should I or shouldn't? Anyway...

In closing let me just show you two picts I came across on the internet which turned out to be as good as any to begin my 2016 with a chuckle. Check them out and see if you too, get a kick out them. I just love when my funny bone is tickled and believe you me... these did it a heartbeat. And oh yeah... DEAR GOD: PLEASE LET ME WIN $900 MILLION. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN.

Japanese Sale Signs

Wntd: Women and Beer

HAHAHAHAHA. What a guy, right? Besides... I see that at the last minute, he decided to add in the whip. He does however, get points for excellent handwriting. 

YAY! IT'S CHRISTMAS!

Lucky you. Today you get to see a video of me. I know. No great thrill but several of my newer readers this past year have asked to see what I look and/or sound like. Boom. Here you have it: HOLIDAY MESSAGE  Those viewing via computer btw... should have no problem. Those viewing via mobile device... it's apparently hit or miss. 

Happy Holiday Season to all... I hope it's safe and filled with joy.

I myself have some excellent celebrations lined up and I hope you do as well. Am headed out soon for Part II of fun for today and will enjoy Part III and IV tomorrow. Thank you all for reading along with me of my ranting and raving throughout the past year. I've been pretty much thrilled to have been Living as Linda... life is good. I'm also totally thrilled to be able to document it all via this blog. Well... most of it, anyway. 

2016 is but around the corner! Gulp.

   

WATERCOLORS

Recently I was invited to a most wonderful party. I was only told that it was going to be at one of the local art galleries and that I should wear casual, comfy clothing. What we were going to do there, I had no clue. But... I was pretty psyched about it. Well... other than the time, that is. 

Get this. I had to be there at 10:00 in the morning! Oh man. Talk about a challenge, alright. When RSVPing by the way ... I did ask UH... THERE WILL BE DANISH SERVED?? DOUGHNUTS?? SOMEthing?? I mean seriously. How I'd function at that hour without something sweet to begin my day was a whole other challenge. Sad to say... only coffee was served but on the other hand, several of us did go to the nearby Mexican restaurant for lunch right smack afterwards so not ALL was lost.

Okay... in the meantime...12 of us show up at the gallery which had all kinds wonderful art, I might add. Right smack in the middle of the gallery was a long table, all set up with different painting supplies and bingo. Turns out we were all going to have a lesson in painting with watercolors!! Soooo up my alley. I was so excited. Granted... none of us were artists. Nor had any of us ever done art in this medium ever before but it bothered us not. It was a totally cool activity.

We were each given two pieces of art paper thus we could make two paintings in total. Don't ask. The teacher, Miriam, was fantastic and she quickly told us a few tips for creating our art work. Then whammo. 

We were to begin, creating any sort of painting our little hearts desired. Many of my friends were totally excellent at this. I was not quite as excellent, as you can see in the picture up above. But too bad, for tada.... IT WAS MY FIRST WATER COLOR PAINTING EVER. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It may not be a masterpiece but I don't care. I love this first attempt, regardless. I loved it so much actually, that as soon as this first one was done, I moved right on in to my second attempt. I love that one even more. Here.... see for yourself.

Gladiolas

Not stupendous, but could totally be worse, right?? Anyway...

I have always loved watercolor artwork. I love the movement and smoothness it shows and to me, it's AMAZING what artists can do with this technique. In fact... the huge picture of me hanging in my family room is a somewhat nod to this artistic  approach. Regardless, I just can't tell you what a great morning this was. In fact ALL of us thought it was great. And all of us did some really good painting. Most way better than mine but who's counting.

So after our painting class and after our Mexican luncheon, how long you think it took me to race to my local art supply store to buy all the brushes and paints and paper I would need to paint with water colors AT HOME?? Trust me... no time at all. I zipped into the store, bought my supplies and bingo. I was ready to paint up the kazoo while sitting at my dining room table each evening. 

Talk about beginners luck by the way. No painting that first evening was even close to what I created that morning. I just couldn't figure out what the subject of a painting should even be... let alone which method of coloring I wanted to use. It didn't matter though for I was just practicing and eventually, a few nights later, I came up with something sort of acceptable. Of course I also came up with some that went directly into the garbage, but what the hell. I totally loved playing.

Maybe the reason I loved it so was due to the fact that it's been so long since I've actually painted. Despite the fact that I always have zillions of acrylic paint tubes as a staple in my craft closet. I usually have a few canvas' on hand too, just in case the urge to create comes over me. Kinda like having chocolate somewhere in the house. Just in case you develop a major craving. But whatever. In the meantime, it was totally time for me to play with paints once again and these watercolor tubes were just the ticket.

Actually... this is just the sort of ticket that would be PERfect for keeping me from going crazy while stuck in the house during a big snowfall. Slight glitch however. THERE IS NO F'ING WINTER THIS YEAR! Hence not one single drop of snow yet, whatsoever. Seriously. Ever since Thanksgiving the daytime temps have pretty much averaged in the mid 60s. It's like Spring arrived 6 months early. Totally crazy! 

Plus... as I've mentioned before... any hopes I had for wearing my alltime favorite mink coat is apparently down the drain for sure. Granted... this weekend the highs will be in the mid forties but boom. By Monday it'll be right smack back up to the 50s again. Huh? WTF? Regardless, all I know is that painting with watercolors is major fun. Obviously I can't say my paintings have been major successful, but then again, who the hell cares. 

Besides... were I ever so inclined... which I'm NOT... to create a personal gallery of my watercolors here at home, down below are a bunch of my first attempts. I call them: THE FLORAL COLLECTION. Could also easily be called: THE BULLSHIT COLLECTION. Take your pick. Yeah, they suck but... it's still a great way to kill a couple of hours each day. Let alone allow you to get your creative freak on. Take a look and oh yeah... don't be afraid to start the bidding. 

The Forest 

Red Vase

Hydrangeas

Mums

I NEED A LADDER

I try to rarely climb up a ladder. No need to hit the emergency room when I slip and fall right smack on my ass or something. Besides, I'm afraid of heights. The closest thing I come to being on a ladder is when I need to change the time on the clock each Spring and Autumn. The clock is in my family room, on the wall, up above my TV, so I totally can't reach it without my step stool. And that's about as high as I ever want to be. 

Now however, I'm considering a ladder. Not for the clock. Instead... for my new bed. You see it up there in the picture. Granted, it's not my bedroom, but it's the same bed nevertheless.

Turns out, according to the Laws of Bedroom Mattresses, you should totally buy a new bed/mattress about every 10 years. I won't even go into the reasoning, for it creeps me out totally. Just take my word for it. Anyway... I am soooo embarrassed to admit it, but I've had my bed for wayyyy past 10 years. Sitting down? Have a strong drink in hand? Ready for the admission??

I've had my bed for 30 years!!! I KNOW. IT'S HORRIBLE, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. I love my bed almost more than any other piece of furniture in my entire house. To me... it offers the best night's sleep EVER. It's nice and firm. And it' so damn comfy, you wouldn't believe it. Besides... it affords me my alltime favorite hobby: sleeping. So... given the scary amount of time I've loved my original bed, for the past two years I've kinda been on the lookout for a new bed. And guess what?

I FINALLY FOUND IT.

And I couldn't be happier! Thank God for small favors is all I can say. I decided, btw, this is the bed I hope I'll be in when I kick the bucket, although I totally think it will be creepy when I do see Heaven and my kid will maybe move right in and then HE will be in the bed, instead of me. Trust me... there is no way I'd have EVER slept in the same bed my parents may have been in when they said their final adios. But whatever. In the meantime... 

I am completely stoked over this new bed. Am also stoked over the sale pricing, too. It's a specially made bed, one that can't be found in retail stores and is the same bed used in many five star hotels. Hotels that need to make SURE they supply excellent sleep for all kinds of people and/or sizes, who pay zillions of bucks for their nightly room. The bed is what they call for "commercial" use. Hence, it's top of the line, lasts for years and years, has a fantastic box spring, head to toe coils, won't sink in the middle nor on the sides, and has a mattress that is made with 21st century materials for sheer comfort. It's a total winner. Plus... because it's made to order, it hasn't been sitting is some disgusting showroom or warehouse for months. And best of all... IT'S NOW MINE.

It arrived Tuesday afternoon. And btw... when this delivery company says they'll be there at 3:00, THEY'LL BE THERE AT 3:00. Like on the DOT.

It just so happened that Claudia was here when the men arrived and took out my old bed and brought in the new. Meaning: no sooner had I closed the doors on the delivery guys than I made Claudia run to my bedroom to do a test run with me. Bingo. We stared at the bed, felt all the fabric, checked out the features, etc. and then lickety split, we plopped right smack down upon it. WE ALMOST NEVER GOT UP. It was stupendous, is all I can say. And... I hadn't even put the sheets on it yet, either. As if that wasn't enough...

We then opened the $15 million dollar mattress topper I had gotten from Bed, Bath, Beyond in honor of my new bed's expected arrival. Talk about a racket, but it doesn't matter. It's pretty much worth it. Or so I thought. It also raised the height of the bed to exactly where the my bellybutton is. Meaning... I'd never have to bend over to make my bed ever again. Well... I mean when Teresa makes it, but whatever. 

THE BED WAS SO TALL FROM THIS MATTRESS TOPPER, I PRACTICALLY NEEDED A LADDER TO GET INTO IT. It was crazy. My feet didn't even reach the floor when sitting on the side! As opposed to any guy 6 and a half feet tall who would so be in his glory! I literally had to slide off the bed until my feet hit the ground. Talk about feeling on top of the world. I kept thinking about the Princess and the Pea... she'd NEVER feel the pea at this rate. She'd squish it just trying to get out of the bed. Anyway...

It matters not for after I finally made my bed that evening and yet again did a test run for blissful sleep, I imMEDiately had to take off the multimillion dollar topper given it not only was an additional 4 inches high, but ABSOLUTELY made my bed look five times larger than all the other furniture in the entire room, put together. Talk about easy come, easy go. So back to the store goes the topper deal. However... now with the just the bed as is, things look far better proportioned in the room and I'm so telling you... I expect sheer visions of sugar plums to be dancing all inside my head when I hit the sack tonight. Plus thankfully when I wake up tomorrow, my feet will dangle only five inches from the ground rather than nine.


And speaking of thankful... I hope everyone had a most wonderful Thanksgiving celebration. Not only did I love my feast and festivities but I am totally thankful for my bed which by the way works out pretty well given every morning since it's arrival, I've awoken anywhere between 10:30 and 11:00. Now THAT'S what I call a great night's sleep. Besides this new box spring and mattress deal? Gives a whole new meaning to: climbing into bed. 

WOMEN WHO LUNCH

You know these women? Well neither do I. Well, not completely, anyway. After years of seeing them while enjoying my lunch, I finally learned their names. And that's pretty much about it. Except that they are also sisters. 

Turns out Delores and Mary Ann lunch at the country club just like I do. And while I am often with my own sister when I see them, I am often with alot of different friends of mine, too. Like I was yesterday when Betsy and I were there. Not surprisingly, so were Delores and Mary Ann.

A couple weeks ago, I even stopped by their table to chat a moment and one thing led to another and somehow I mentioned that I had a blog. Naturally I had Delores give me her email address so I could pass the blog site on to her, warning her that there are in fact times I may get a little racy in my speech... so if that's a problem... then for sure she'd have to pass on it. Being brave however, Delores was up for the challenge.

Anyway... I do have to say these women appear to be two of the sweetest ladies you'd ever want to meet. Always smiling. Always talkative. Always polite. And always enjoying their lunch. Kinda like me, actually, but ten to one... they are way sweeter than I. But who's counting, right?

I have no clue what the three of us have in common other than we love dining at the country club but it matters not. For if you get a chance to chit chat a bit with these sisters, you're guaranteed to have a happy, lively conversation. In fact at yesterday's lunch Betsy was telling me about the neighbors who live above her and how EVERY SINGLE Sunday morning, like clockwork, the people have sex. Which normally would be of no interest to Betsy except for the fact that she can hear each and every moan of these two lovebirds, as well as the banging of their headboard. No pun included. 

Needless to say... this sort of conversation was totally up my alley and I was laughing right smack out loud. Picturing Betsy having to endure this every week simply had me in stitches. And, given the age of the couple, we were trying to imagine exactly which med the hubby must be taking to perform so consistently week in and week out. I myself came up with the theory they must be engaging in oral sex, but Betsy shot down that theory, given the headboard banging bit. Whatever. In the meantime...

I was laughing so much, Delores eventually asked from across the room... what's so funny over there? I must have said something like: Betsy is telling me about her neighbors, alluding to the fact they are "noisy", if you catch my drift. Which I think I'll tell Delores and Mary Ann all about when next I see them. Why hold back on such juicy news, is my thought. Unless of course they KNOW these people, in which case I'll be mighty embarrassed. Maybe.

Anyway... as I said, these two women are so very sweet and probably very kind. Which points to the reason I love my little town so much. You can meet wonderful people all over the place. Everyone is just so happy to be living here. Besides... it's autumn, so who WOULDN'T be madly in love with living here? Oh yeah... tomorrow night... low will be 30 degrees. Yet another reason to be tickled pink. 

Regardless... I think I'll have to make it my business to join Delores and her sister at their table one day for lunch, so I can learn more about them. I'm already planning on a great fabrication all about me, so that my life story can match up to theirs. Case in point: I think maybe I'll fictiously become the personal wardrobe advisor to Heidi Klum. Or maybe the pop culture advisor to Bernie Sanders. Then I'll REALLY have a great bio to lay upon the two sisters and they'll think I'm pretty famous, etc. For... were I to tell them my real life story... they'd be totally bored. And who could blame them?

Regardless, when I decided I was going to blog about these two women, I knew I'd need a picture of them. So last week I pulled out my camera and went running over to their table to grab a shot. "Huh? Why in the world do you want to take a picture of us?" I quickly made up some excuse so this entry could be a surprise to them; an excuse I can't even remember now, but am pretty sure it was lame as hell. In the meantime, boom. There you have it, up above. Delores is in white. Mary Ann is in blue. Don't they look like the kindest sort of people you'd ever see? And, they're funny. Bingo. My kind of women.

So here's to sisters. I can't wait for them to read this blog entry and be totally shocked they made the cut. HI MARY ANN AND DELORES. WILL PROBABLY SEE YOU AT LUNCH NEXT THURSDAY. HOPE ALL IS HAPPY AND WILL GRILL YOU ON THIS ENTRY AFTER OF COURSE, I'VE HIT THE BUFFET. BYE FOR NOW.

And speaking of the buffet... totally my alltime favorite place for lunch.   




  

50 YEARS LATER

For those of you who feel a little lonely, adore the good ole days, want to be in touch with zillions of people or just like being inundated with 7000 emails a week, I have the perfect solution for you. Go to the web site for your 50th high school reunion and bingo. You'll never again have to worry about connecting with others. Oh my God. It's crazy!

I graduated high school in 1966. I know. I'm old. But regardless... I was in a graduating class with over 1000 kids. And those were only the seniors. Although at the time, I do have to say: I never felt lost in a crowd of maybe 3000. Obviously I didn't know every student, but somehow I never felt overwhelmed. Back then I probably recognized everyone I passed walking down the school hallways every day, but naturally now, I have no clue who half the people on the class list are. On the other hand.. the other 500 people are names I sort of recognize and then of course... there are the many people who I totally recognize and/or knew personally. That's the best part, btw. Reconnecting with those who were in your particular crowd.

From the pictures many of us have uploaded, I do have to say that the women seem much more recognizable to me than the men. And many of the pictures totally look like people I've never seen before in my entire life. At that point I have to check out the names attached to the shots, and sometimes even then they look like total strangers. No wonder. It's 50 years later! Talk about a total lifetime ago.

The most shocking part is the IN MEMORY section where you see all my classmates who have passed away. In a list of about 100, two were very close to me until the day they died. Several others were merely those with whom I was friendly in school. It's just totally freaky going down the name list, noting they are gone forever. It makes you feel so grateful that you're still around, still feeling pretty decent, still looking relatively damn good given our age and still able to enjoy life regardless of whether or not you're attending the reunion. Anyway...

I do get a kick out of seeing what so many of us look like 50 years later. It totally brings back memories of all the girls for instance, with whom I was friends since I was in first grade. I  played with so many of them, spent the nights with them, bicycled to their houses and even remember their siblings and parents. Whether or not they necessarily remember ME, I have no clue but it matters not for in reality, I had a perfectly wonderful childhood and youth.

To imagine that 50 years have gone by since high school can be somewhat startling. I must have lived two more lives since then. I graduated college. I married twice. I raised children. I taught. I went through the sex, drugs and rock and roll phase. And then... bingo. Next thing you know, I'm a retired old lady. Meaning I'm totally into the last years of my life. I have no major terminal illness, thank God, but trust me. At this point things only go down hill no matter what state of health you're in. Oh. And by the way...

If you think attending a reunion is inexpensive, think again. I believe the all the festivities run at least $200, if not more. And that doesn't even include hotel, transportation, etc. Hmmm... which means do I want to actually lay out a minimum of $600 see all these people? Regardless, as I said in the beginning, what REALLY blows my mind above all else are the zillions of emails you get for this event.

The first week was pretty interesting. It kind of took you back in time and started you thinking all about your high school days. Which were pretty wonderful for me, I'm happy to say. Even week two of all these emails was kinda fun. But NOW?? Six months later?? Oh my God. Don't even ask. Plus... we still have six months yet to go! This constant contact so takes over your entire inbox. Plus, there's a whole Facebook page so basically... if ever you need to relive your high school experiences because the first time around sucked, then you're so in luck.

You have a perfectly fine chance to relive it all over again with the possibility of making it way better. I do have admit however, that I get a real kick out of viewing all the pictures of everyone. There are so many that look almost the same but then again, there are PLENty who look nothing like themselves at the age of 18. Me, for instance. Here you see me at 17. And then you see me at 67. Big difference, right?

When I think back to high school, I pretty much have only happy memories. Of course it didn't hurt that I met the first love of my life with whom I went steady for about a year and half. In high school terms that's like what? 9 years maybe? Man, were we in love. If you could see the love letters, cards, etc. you'd totally flip. Oh yeah... and by the way, I graduated high school a virgin, no less. I had no clue you could even do otherwise. Naturally I perfected all the other aspects of sexual young love, but still... apparently going to college as a virgin was the only choice of which I knew. In any case... 

Not only did I find my first love in high school, but I also found Linda, my very dearest girlfriend for the rest of my life. In fact, we decided to go to college together and bingo. We were roommates. We were at each other's Sweet Sixteen luncheons, weddings, family gatherings, religious celebrations, etc. etc. Until finally.... absolutely brokenhearted... I gave a eulogy at Linda's funeral several years ago. She was the most wonderful friend ever. Anyway...

Believe it or not... I have no clue yet whether or not I'll attend my reunion. One part of me says yes, the other part says who the hell cares? I'll tell you one thing however... if they keep up this daily delivery of hordes of emails, I just may have to shoot myself way before next April in which case problem solved. 

In the meantime, if you were not able to attend my high school I feel major sorry for you. It was a fantastic school in a fantastic city, with fantastic students. Life was happy and easy 50 years ago and the biggest problem was making sure you could find a parking place given so many of us had our own cars. Well, that and being sure you aced your pop quizzes. Which reminds me... my favorite classes in high school were Spanish 2, 3 and 4. Trust me... by the time I graduated I was this far from being totally bi-lingual.