Thursday, October 15, 2020



Wow. Am I ever happy!! I can’t even believe what a great birthday gift I gave to myself several months ago and am I ever thrilled I did!

I mean it. I’ve been missing this so much and finally, in honor of quarantining, and of course not being able to have a party… I bit the bullet and I did it. Again.

I BOUGHT MYSELF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE RED EYEGLASS FRAMES! For the second time, I might add. Boom. Another $1000 down the drain but I don’t care. I have missed my other pair for YEARS.

As it happened, about 7 years ago, when I bought my first pair, I was headed out to a fancy schmancy party one November evening. I was all dolled up and decided that maybe the red frames were a bit too causal thus I switched out to my tortoise shell pair, which was the exact same frame, but only a tiny bit less casual looking. Maybe.

Uh… only one problem.

That switch out was the last time I ever saw my red frames ever again. Don’t ask. I was heartsick.

I went through my entire house, every room, every drawer, every coat pocket, every anything. And… I did it hordes of times. Nothing. Gone. Kaput. Goodbye red frames for ever and ever. Plus… I had my housekeeper, my sister and then again a close friend of mine come over and comb my entire house, offering a reward to anyone who found my glasses. A damn nice reward, too. None of us could find a thing. Ever.

The first year I was just plain stymied when I couldn’t find my frames. The second year I was just plain stymied AND sad. By the third year, I just plain stymied, sad then merely in acceptance of it all. WHERE THE HELL DID MY FRAMES GO, ANYWAY??? THEY HAD LEGS?? THEY SIMPLY WALKED OUT OF MY HOME?? Shit. I can’t wait til I kick the bucket so that when my house is ready to be sold THEN, finally, SOMEone is going to find them! The worst part of course, is that I’ll never be able to learn where they were found!

So 7 years later, here I am.. quarantined. FOR MONTHS ALREADY. I still am, kind of. I even missed having my birthday celebration last May and THAT alone was a heartbreaker. Which only meant: TIME FOR RETAIL THERAPY AND BUY MYSELF SOMETHING EXTRA SPECIAL! I’m a total pro at this sort of project, btw.

Bingo. While in the opticians office one day in April, I made a decision. REPLACE THE RED FRAMES, DAMNIT. Cost or no cost. I deserved some thing fantastic that I loved and wanted! Well, that didn’t take long. Next thing you know, I was thrilled with the gift I gave to myself.

You can see them in the picture up above! My glasses and I are finally, a team, once again! YAY ME. Of course the optician was probably even happier than I. No wonder. I had just bought 2 new pairs of lenses and frames a week earlier. How much you want to bet my order on those alone went right smack into his mortgage payments for the next two months. Needless to say… I haven’t taken them off since. Remember when Tom Cruise said to Renee Zwellweger "YOU COMPLETE ME"?? Well guess what? I know how exactly how he felt! Well… sort of. I’m not a total idiot, but then again, not far from it, either.

Plus... you should have HEARD all who know me when they once again saw these frames. YOU FOUND THEM!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! WHERE WERE THEY?? Which only meant: I had to go into a whole song and dance about treating myself to this birthday present. Apparently I wasn't the only one who missed them. And I do have to say... everyone was as happy for me as I was.  

So the lesson here for all us?? If you are over 70, like me (holy shit… 73 next May) GO DO OR BUY WHATEVER YOU LOVE. And do it now! Who the hell knows how many days we have left here on this earth?? At least go out knowing you love what you have and have what you love.

Hopefully we'll all be smiling when we get to heaven. I know now, I will. Especially if they have doughnuts and french fries galore.

Check this out... me, happy again!


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