Well… wait. Let me clarify. Yes. I’ll eat most any food on the planet but I would never ever eat lima beans, black eyed peas, beef jerky, tongue or sweetbread… or any delicacies with insects, felines, etc. Yech. I get nauseous just thinking about those kind of items. But everything ELSE?? Oh man. I’m pretty much good to go.
Further… I have written often about my ALL TIME FAVORITE food on earth. You should all know it by now.
LOBSTER!
Not only is it delicious, but it is also such a sensual, epicurean delight. A close second btw, would be either a prime rib bone, a hot pastrami sandwich and/or french fries. But lobster always has been and always will be my No.1.
Which brings me to the picture up above. See that entrée? Guess why I’m so thrilled about it. Easy. I’M EATING LOBSTER. Oh Lordy, was I ever in 7th heaven. An entire pound of just lobster meat! It was a totally memorable evening.
Oh… not because I was able to dine on lobster, although as you can see… I was smiling from ear to ear. More importantly however, what made this such a memorable evening was…
IT WAS THE LAST NIGHT OF INSIDE DINING BEFORE ALL RESTAURANTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO THE PANDEMIC! Who the hell knew restaurants would be closed from then on??? Oh jeez. “Say it ain’t so, Joe”.
But unfortunately… it totally was so. (impressed I even know about Shoeless Joe Jackson, btw??) Anyway… I had no clue whatsoever that this would turn out to be my Last Supper. Believe me… had I known, I would have totally ordered 4 of these entrees and brought them home to eat for the next 2 weeks. Which really means: for the next 48 hours.
Regardless… I have not eaten inside a restaurant since. And that was almost 8 months ago. Have any idea how all this is killing my social life?? Not to mention my adoration of gastric pleasure? Even more… have any idea how much I LOVE HAVING PEOPLE COOK FOR ME? Think: ALOT. Which means: I have had to cook for myself more in the last 7 months than I have in the last 7 years, I’ll bet. And I don't mean just tuna sandwiches or cups of soup. I mean: REAL entrees!
I hate grocery shopping, and even more, I hate cleaning up afterwards! Having someone serve me and then just letting me walk away with a full belly, is maybe the most self indulgent thing I can imagine. Seriously. I’m heavy into extravagance and I make no apologies for it.
WNTD: COOK. 5:00 pm TO 7:00 pm 4 DAYS A WEEK. WHITE GLOVE SERVICE NOT REQUIRED.
If only. Growing up, our housekeeper was always around for dinner prep and little did I know then what a fantastic concept that entire deal was! And… by the time my sister and I hit our teens, WE were the ones who cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher, etc. What? Child labor??
Which kind of reminds me of the time my mother told us we were to begin making our own beds each morning. Without missing a beat, my sweet, somewhat reserved little sister, with a scowl on her face, said:
UH, NO. Y0U HAVE SOMEONE MAKING YOUR BED! She’s going to make ours, too. End of discussion.
Hence, I never once made a bed while living in my parents’ home EVER. Nor did I ever do a load of wash, btw. Yay my sister! Kind of a ballsy thing to say to my Mother but guess what? IT WORKED. Yay house help. Okay. So getting back to restaurants…
Finally… about a couple of months ago I began dining outside for lunch. I think the first restaurant I went to was a Japanese establishment. Oh Lordy… it was DELICIOUS and, a bit thrilling that I could once again have someone cook for me without my ever having to lift a finger, let alone without my having to do clean up afterwards. I was like a kid in Disneyland.
YES PLEASE. I’LL HAVE THE SCALLOPS WITH A TEMPURA VEGETABLE PLATTER AND A SIDE OF CHICKEN FRIED RICE. THANK YOU!
Boom. 10 minutes later THE most delicious meal was set before me. Who could ask for more?? I felt, for about an hour and a half, that things were back to normal! YIPPEE. Since then, I’ve been to a Mexican restaurant, a magnificent cocktail party with finger foods galore, a terrific sandwich shop, etc. and in between, I’ve done a lobster dinner take out from the country club a few times. Oh… and Chinese take out, too. It seems like I might be getting back on track once again. Only one glitch:
Winter’s on its way! Already it’s too cold to eat outdoors in the evening. And pretty soon, daytime dining will be a stretch, also. EEKS. Thus… there goes my dining outside for several months. WHAT? I’M BACK TO COOKING FOR MYSELF ONCE AGAIN? Oh man. I so hate that. WNTD: COOK AND LIVE IN HOUSE HELP.
I think you speak for the masses! You can only have so much sex, but you can never have too much food. After a sexual encounter, what is the first thing you want?- A good meal!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you teasing us like this? A pound of lobster meat? A giant baked potato? Delicious-looking fries? You are a real FT (food teaser)! Things could always be worse. You could be eating outdoors in New York or New Jersey and have the added excitement of getting hit by a car at any second!
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