Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I FLEW FOR THE FLU


Oh man... remember that idiot guy on the airplane who was sitting next to me and coughing up a storm?? Well... I have two words for him: F YOU. I swear to God... whether or not it was him who made me so damn sick, I'll never know. What I DO know however, is that I've been pretty friggin' sick for the past six days. Don't even ask.

It all began last Friday. I spent the first four days taking double doses of antibiotics given my major bronchial congestion, with last night being my last normal dosage. I've also been doing an inhaler every two hours even though it says to do it four times a day; and I've also been doing some sort of a steroidal nose deal. Factor in the Extra Strength Tylenol and the 17 billion cups of hot tea and boom. I am now pretty much on the other side of all this. Maybe.

Yesterday I finally went to the doctor. I decided it was time to collaborate on my personal diagnosis and subsequent plan for treatment. Up to this point, I had followed the Linda School of Medicine doctrine and sure enough... I was pretty much on target. Believe me... NO one knows my body like I do. Let's say I'm feeling perfect as 8:09. If at 8:10 I feel even so much as an iota of difference I know IMMEDIATELY wtf is going on and where it will lead. I WASTE NO TIME WHATSOEVER.

So now that I had a pretty good jump start on loading myself up with the meds, I figured the time had come to let the REAL doctor put in her two cents as well. Turns out my faux medical degree had it all down pat from the get go. The worst of the congestion and bronchial infection is kinda over although the doctor did tell me it could be another couple of weeks until I am in tip top shape once again. I can live I guess with just the cough and sneezing.

Plus, I told her to beam me up some new scripts to make up for the meds I just used. Bingo. Done. Oh yeah... I also told her to add in one refill just so I'll have plenty when the next bout or two comes along. I mean seriously... why anyone would waste time going to a medical office for just ONE prescription is nuts if you ask me. Like how hard is it to have them add a 1 on the refill line?? At least that way, if you can't get to the office for a couple of days, you're not suffering more than need be. So basically, I can do the refill any time within the next year. 

Anyway, I'm here and I'm alive. Hard as it is to believe. Oh yeah... to help make my stay indoors a little better, I called Direct TV today and told them I need the updated $400 DVR for free please, so I can now record five shows at a time with WAY more storage capacity than before. And, to please throw in the client box which then allows me to view whatever I've recorded in the bedroom, in the family room as well. BOOM. THEY SAID OKAY.

I knew they would. I began the conversation with: HI... YOU HAVE MY FILES IN FRONT OF YOU, RIGHT? GOOD. THEN PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF HOW LONG I'VE BEEN A CUSTOMER. (from the beginning) AND, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY PAYMENT HISTORY. (pristine) THEN... GIVEN ALL THAT... PLEASE ANTE UP THE NEW DVR GENIE FOR FREE, PLEASE. THANKS! Check. Done. 

So yippee. I'm sort of back to the Land of the Living and I'm getting a new DVR set up tomorrow. Which is good given they expect some slight snowfall tomorrow and plenty of sleet. And the high on Monday is only going to be 35 degrees. Which means three things:

1.) THANK GOD I had my flu shot since I swear... it cut my WishedIWereDead time in half. 2.) Thank God I was sick this past week rather than the upcoming week so I won't be contending with weather issues. And 3.) Thank God Direct TV is so cooperative with me so that I can now fall asleep in either of my two favorite rooms.

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