Wednesday, January 30, 2013

DEEP THROAT


I had the craziest morning yesterday. Well actually, it started OUT okay but then it got nuts. And that's just how I feel right now... like cracked nut shells are lining my entire throat. Don't ask.

I got all ready to go meet friends for lunch so was all spiffed up and ready for fun. Just before I left, as always, I took my daily vitamins and meds. About 7 in all I guess. And... rather than take 14 gulps of water let's say... I instead put them all into my right hand, and throw them into my mouth all at once. Then I take my drink and bingo. Down the hatch. They're all swallowed. 

Except yesterday. YESTERDAY for whatever reason, only 6 of my pills wanted to go down. The 7th?? Oh man... I had one hell of a war with it. Seems as if THAT pill only wanted to go down 3/4 of the way and then simply wanted to STAY THERE. I couldn't get it to move at all. Immediately, I started coughing for I felt the pill WAY down my throat and it was causing uncontrolled gagging and coughing and God knows what else. Women may understand this better than men, btw. Just saying.

The next thing I know I was coughing for 25 minutes STRAIGHT. I couldn't help it. My throat was automatically trying to clear itself of this tiny baby obstruction thus my eyes began watering all over the place PLUS my nose began bleeding. ALOT. I'm telling you... I felt like I was being exorcised or something. THIS WAS TOTALLY CRAZY.

All I can say is... that for all this time my body was completely taking over, trying like hell to dislodge this pill. But, it couldn't. Nor could I even compose myself to figure out what the hell to do. You can only iMAGine the palpitations going on, btw. Not to mention the roughness that was being created up and down my throat. Anyway, about a 150K coughs later, I decided, too bad. I was going to be late for lunch and had to high tail it out of here although I must admit... I couldn't even imagine HOW I was going to be able to eat.

But you can be sure... I WAS going to give it the good ole college try. By the time I got in the car, the outta control coughing subsided some but you should have seen me when I walked in the restaurant. I was holding onto tables as I walked by and basically looked like death warmed over, even if, dressed to the nines. I sat down at the table... took a few sips of a drink... coughed again and THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED.

I gagged mildly and next thing I know... a half dissolved baby pill popped right smack out of my mouth and onto my napkin! Thank GOD is all I can say. My throat was FINALLY cleared. Raw as shit, but certainly cleared. For the first time in my life, I now know what a REAL scratchy throat feels like! 12 hours later and I was STILL raw only then it was more on the roof of my mouth.

I am happy to say I naturally went on to eat a simply delicious lunch which goes to show that I can basically overcome almost any odds when need be. And... I had been needing lunch, alright. I WAS STARVED. I felt like the postman who delivers mail whether rain, snow, sleet or whatever. Except with ME... I can down any meal anytime during any crisis. Call it a talent if you wish. I myself call it a blessing.

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