Thank God Almighty! 2020 is FINALLY coming to an end!
And not a minute too soon, if you ask me! Even if you are not the type to celebrate and paint the town red for New Year’s, you damn well should THIS year! Holy mackerel. If THIS year isn’t one for you to jump for joy at it’s end, then man. You have no celebratory blood running through your body at ALL.
Because I am so telling you. To see this year over is something that has ME dancing all over town. Of course it would nice IF I could go all over town, but obviously this pandemic is having me dance all over the house, instead. But it matters not. Just be sure you celebrate SOMEhow. Kind of like that picture above. See? I'm smiling already!
In fact… I just may need to have a WHOLE glass of champagne this year. I’m a major cheap date however because 4 sips and boom. I’m ready to take a snooze with a smile on my face. But not THIS year. Man. I just may have a toke AND a glass. Never say never. Remember: I’m from the generation of burning bras and making love not war. So… I basically need no lessons in partying hard. Throw in a Quaalude and God only KNOWS what sort of fantastic sex is on the agenda. Or… mushrooms, hashish, etc. I would NEVER have considered coke, btw. I mean seriously. How disgusting is it for a woman to have her face on the tabletop, snorting white powder up her nose. The visual of it just always grossed me out. Plus... it had to cost SOMEbody a boat load of money. In any case…
To have lived through this year AND the coronavirus has been sheer hell. Oh… not necessarily just because our President is amoral or I couldn’t dine in restaurants or could go nowhere without a mask or a whole slew of other reasons, but frankly… my most hellish reason was actually due to my fear of being without toilet paper, paper towel and of course those 6 weeks whereby I could not buy Caffeine Free Diet Coke in a can.
Granted, I abided by all the health restrictions I was supposed to, as everyone under the age of 52 paraded all over town, while rest of the world was on a respirator. THOSE people cared less about millions of folks who were fighting for their fucking lives. Sadly, for those patients, THAT’S what I call things being OVER, alright. What a shame is all I can say. Literally, a crying shame. This was THE deadliest year in HISTORY! Which reminds me…
I needn’t mention how thrilling it will be to see the end of 2020 if for nothing else than…THE bigly-ist reason of them all… TO SEE HIM GO!! Omg. What a vile man and a wicked leader. Look up DANCING ON ONE’S GRAVE in a dictionary and boom. You’ll see his face plastered right smack on the page. With absolutely no explanation ever needed. HE’S DEAD AND BURIED?? YIPPEE. BRING ON BRUCE AND THE E STREET BAND AND LET’S DO IT! TALK ABOUT TIME FOR DANCING IN THE DARK!
Another reason I’ll be celebrating the end of 2020 is the fact that soon enough… I’ll be able to actually celebrate IN PERSON once again! I mean Skype, Zoom and Facetime are nice enough but for family holidays? Major milestone birthdays? Graduations? Births? Weddings? Now THOSE should definitely be able to be done whereby you can actually hug and kiss rather than giving elbow bumps donning a mask. There are some folks I can’t WAIT to kiss and hold in person and you know what? As this year ends, I might even be able to do it in the next one! I mean seriously. I miss my kid like no tomorrow, for example. QUICK! GIVE ME MY VACCINE AND LET ME LIVE OUT THE REST OF MY LIFE IN THE PLEASURES OF HUMAN TOUCH ONCE AGAIN. Wow. Talk about joy. Anyway… I did get SOME gratification this year.
Granted, it was kind of a selfish indulgence on my part yet actually THAT is something I’ve totally perfected. Case in point: in the last month I upgraded three of my all time favorite items. Here… take a look at them, all in the correct order of adoration, I might add.
Oh yeah. I now know who else will also be thrilled to see this year end… EVERYONE OF THOSE FUCKING CRIMINALS TRUMP JUST PARDONED!! Actually, I am still confused how Trump can pardon himself or his kids if they haven’t even been charged or convicted of anything. Well, yet anyway. And… the fact that Trump is about the pardon the kiddies, sort of tells me that he probably won’t resign whereby giving Pence the ability to do the pardoning for his children and himself. But… never say never.
Besides… I really don’t see it in Trump’s DNA to give up and just hand the reins over to that slimy, ass kissing Veep. MOTHER… UH… IS IT OKAY IF I HAVE LUNCH ALONE WITH A FEMALE GOVERNMENTAL OFFICIAL SO WE CAN WORK UP A GAME PLAN TO LET ME BE PRESIDENT FOR A WEEK? Jesus. What a hen pecked pussy HE is.
Okay. Okay. I get it. I’m ranting way too much and way too often. But I just can’t help it. It’s just that I can not TELL you how thrilled I am to soon be welcoming in 2021. And btw… I promise that should there be one more last post of the year… it will be chipper and hopeful to make up for all the bitching I’ve done recently. In any case… at least there was one good thing I guess I should consider.
Thank GOD I was able to have my hairdresser come to my house to give me haircuts despite our serious lockdown in spring. THAT was a huge deal for me. And actually… I was able to even weather the couple of months I had to forego my manicures and pedicures until the salons were opened once again. For remember: personal grooming is WAY high on my list of necessities. Now THAT is something I don’t EVER want to end.
Even when I’m in the Oldie Goldie Home, I want these services rendered to me. Even before I’m put in the pine box, too. Raise your hand if you’d like to volunteer to be sure that actually occurs. And thanks to anyone for offering to step up! I’ll be eternally grateful. Literally.
In the meantime, I totally have high hopes for 2021. Like being able to at long last GO TO A MOVIE THEATER ONCE AGAIN! Oh man. How I’ve missed that. And the popcorn, too. I also want to see plays again. And travel again… although I just want the possiBILity to travel. Not necessarily go anywhere given I’m pretty much a lazy homebody. I want to dine inside a restaurant again, hopefully with an upscale buffet. I want to be able to entertain in my home without having to restrict the number of people I can invite. I want to be able to go to a grocery store without seeing empty shelves and/or price gouging.
I particularly have pretty high hopes for a normal Presidency in 2021, praying Republicans will allow Biden to govern with compassion, fairness and legality. Of course, that could be just a fantasy on my part, but I’m hoping for it nonetheless. I also have high hopes that we can once again SEE EACH OTHER’S FACES. I mean eyebrows and eyeballs are nice but who knows what the hell is beneath that mask, anyway?
All I can say is: Hallef’ingluyah 2020 is over! I wish you and everyone you love a most wonderful New Year… filled with laughter, good health and love. Most of all… be thankful for every happy thing that comes your way!
Lastly... and maybe this is the most important thought of this entire post... my heart breaks for anyone who lost someone they loved due to Covid 19. It is a tragedy at best and an agony at worst. In spite of the heroic efforts of every health care worker, this pandemic has taken far too many loved ones and if you have suffered from such a loss... I pray you find peace in your heart... eventually being able to hold dear their memory without ache.
May 2021 be a relief for us all.