Many people think that maybe I'm a talented sort of a gal and they wouldn't be all that wrong. Of course my best talent is one which I could never discuss but never you mind. That's a discussion reserved for a precious few.
I’m often told, shocking as it may seem, that I’ve got artistic talent, writing talent, even comical talent. Even as a teacher for 20 years, my principal thought I had a wonderful talent for instilling confidence in young children. Talk about fooling some of the people some of the time!
The fact is… I’m NOT really all that talented in the least. Instead, what I am, is a very calculated risk taker. I’ll try anything that I’m comfortable with… barring anything dealing with physical danger that is... and if it flops, then so be it. Case in point: would I ever do ziplining?? HELL NO. But… would I paint ceramics? Absolutely. And, I’ve done so. Didn’t EVERYone in the late 90s?? I’ve also sold many knitted scarves for $125 a clip when my cost was a measly $8 for yarn, and trust me. They were BEAUTIFUL. I created designs others found simply outstanding. Fuck macramé. These were far more superior than those hanging baskets crap.
In the meantime, one of my all time very favorite things to do is photography. I took my first class in the early 80s at a local art museum in Miami. Turns out it was taught by someone with whom I went to high school, btw. Now SHE was an artist! My sister and I went each week and learned about taking and developing photographs. I even once won an award in a show sponsored by one of the largest department stores in the city. It was a shot of my 2 step children… about 2 and 5… sitting on a window sill in their pajamas leaning in to give each other a kiss. Man, I loved that picture.
Anyway, I took a couple of 6 week courses at the museum and then naturally decided THAT’S IT. THAT’S ALL THE CLASSES I NEED. I’M NOW PRACTICALLY A PROFESSIONAL SO THANKS FOR THE LESSONS BUT I’M READY TO MOVE ON. BYE! Besides… I totally hate black and white photography, which is a death sentence for anyone wanting to pursue this area of art. Me? I want color and I want bold.
Plus… I had a fancy schmancy camera, way before the days of digital cameras I might add, with all the attachments and lenses. I had to set the aperture, the exposure, the distance, the lighting, God knows what. I had to buy rolls and rolls of film and then run it up to the local camera store to have it all developed. My darkroom days were OVER. Therefore… how much did I love the point and shoot digital cameras of the early 2000s! The all time BEST camera ever, btw, is now… sitting down??… my CELL PHONE CAMERA! Which is why it’s the only model I’ll EVER buy. That bullshit that Annie Leibovitz goes in for is so not my style. Fast, easy, upload is totally my avenue of choice. Take a picture? Boom. Send it to the cloud. Download it to my desktop application. Saved forever. Done, done, done and done.
Actually my greatest joy is editing my pictures. I could spend HOURS and HOURS passing time with my editing software, enhancing photos and languishing in sheer pleasure. I try to do this daily and the longer it takes, the happier I am. You hate the person standing next to you in a picture? Bingo. I can remove them from the shot in no time. I can even replace them with someone else altogether. The color of someone’s shirt is way off? Whammo. All of a sudden you now have a true navy and bright white. Which brings me to…
My other love… painting. And by that I mean: a total kindergarten level of painting. Seriously. I’ll put my work up against ANY five year old any time you want! Even then, I might not even come out ahead. But… that doesn’t detract me in the least. I hate the painting? No problem. DITCH IT. Easy as that. Or, just paint over it. Most of my paintings I actually hate. OTHERS like them, but I know way better that they suck. So, with all this in mind ENTER: my artistic fame.
Turns out that Panama City in Florida had an art show recently and I was asked by a friend to enter my work. When first they asked, I said WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F’ING MIND?? THERE IS NO WAY WHATSOEVER MY WORK SHOULD BE SEEN BY STRANGERS! IT’S TOTALLY MICKEY MOUSE CALLIBER. They disagreed. Besides, it was part of a comeback for the city, given it’s now been 2 years since Hurricane Michael destroyed the entire town. Bottom line: Okay. I relented and agreed to upload my kindergarten level work. Which was a feat all onto itself, I don’t mind telling you. Don’t ask. Here is what WAS so cool about it, though.
The show was the largest projection art in the Southeast, entitled: PUBLIC EYE SOAR. Due to covid, I guess… the 2 day show was at night and all the artwork was projected onto huge walls allowing zillions of cars to drive right smack though the grounds, enjoying all KINDS of artwork! While I was in no way going to travel down to Florida to see the art show in person, I would have loved to, believe me. I had to name my entries, which I did, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, and of course my own name was listed on programs each car was given. The show was a huge success and I was happy to be a part of it. YAY FAME.
So are you ready? Want a clue as to what sort of art work I submitted? And that they displayed on the walls? Okay then. Get comfy and grab a drink. THEN, if you wish, you can totally offer me $100,000 for any piece you desire. Oh man. IF ONLY! Enjoy. And oh yeah... please don't laugh.