Friday, July 1, 2016

WHAT 68 LOOKS LIKE



So all I can tell you is: my birthday celebration was a major success. Let alone maybe one of my alltime favorite birthdays ever. Claudia totally did a magnificent job in dinner decor and dinner menu, which by the way, I had told her exactly what to serve. I know... kinda ballsy of me but I totally didn't want to head to the playhouse with too full a stomach. Turns out the sandwich fixings, mac and cheese, coleslaw, etc. was simply outSTANDING. T'was an easy menu alright but wow. Talk about elevating the feast. Oh yeah... the cake was beyond delicious.

Therefore I had an excellent evening even before we saw the play but man o man... after we all headed out to the playhouse, found our seats and settled into the play... rock and roll fire works began almost immediately. PHENOMENAL is all I can say. THEN... to make the evening even more spectacular, I walked outside after the show and lo and behold who should I see standing in front of me but... MY NIECE LAURA AND HER SON, ALEX... WITH A DOZEN YELLOW ROSES FOR ME!

I was beyond thrilled and comPLETEly surprised! I wished I had a picture of what my amazingly delighted face must have looked like. They had spent the day driving up from Boca to come visit for my birthday weekend and I can't even TELL you how happy their visit made me. Want to spend every moment laughing and having the best f'ing fun of your life?? Boom. Totally hook up with these two. You'll adore them. Anyway....

Up above you see what 68 looks like in the Land of Linda. Granted... I may look way worse compared to some others my age but then again... I could maybe also look way better than some of them too, so basically... the choice is yours. Being 68 is no picnic, btw. Yes. I'm pretty healthy and surrounded with lots of love, family and friends. BUT just you wait. 

For you too, will see that all those commercials on TV for all kinds of  medical and/or body issues and realize eeks... they are pretty much pointed right smack in your direction. I don't want to get graphic here so suffice it to say: everything from dry eyes to viagra, and everything in between, so will become part of your 68 year old radar, for sure. Your ears will immediately perk up, believe me, as TV kindly mentions every medicine you should probably be discussing with your doctor. Don't ask. But... that's the bad news.

The good news is: 68 is also a fantastic time in life to sleep late, stay up late, eat whenever/whatever the fuck you want, take happy lazy walks not worrying about "working out", play with friends anytime or all the time, relish every nap you want and basically just kinda figure out how you want to kill time each and every day. You also get to collect money from Social Security... best invention known to man, btw... you get to enjoy whatever hobby/exercise you love best, you get to enjoy your kids without having to "raise" them anymore and best of all you now have way more knowledge/wisdom than more than half the people in the entire country.

Of course there still are 68 year old idiots, but at this age you now never really have to deal with them, thank God. Kinda like: you simply get to say right smack into their face... you're totally out of your mind, so F.Y. In fact, I love that I now allow myself to actually hate assholie people with no remorse whatsoever. It's a rite of passage if you ask me and a rite I've happily embraced.

Ooops. Wait. There is one thing that totally sucks: having no clue what the hell to do regarding all the electronic devices now cramming our lives. THAT part of being old is a MAJOR pain in the ass. Were I under 40 for instance, I would understand everything my tv remote, smart phone and tablet can do. And how to fix it whenever it fucks up. Case in point: When my WiFi was recently updated, the guy synced it to all my wireless devices. Including my iPad. Only one problem however. The iPad now wants to recognize the Wifi only sporadically and I have no clue whatsoever how to correct this. Call AT&T? Call Apple? Call the kid down the street? WHAT?? I even went into Wifi settings but believe you me... it was a total mystery thus I don't even want to get inVOLVED with that crap. I'm too damn old.

In the meantime, I do have to say that everyone who knows me apparently has me pegged, alright. MY GIFTS WERE GREAT. Some years they've been so-so but I do have to say... THIS year everyone put excellent thought into what I am all about hence I got everything from a Google Play gift card to a stunning oversized rose colored gold watch. But again... the best present I received was the visit from Laura and Alex. I'm kinda pissed I don't have any pictures of the three of us btw, but yippee... I do have a couple from my celebration which you can see down below. In closing... I have to confess: turning 68 has pretty much been very good to me, thank God. Afterall... for all I know things can totally go all down hill from here on in. DEAR GOD: PLEASE LET MY MANY MORE BIRTHDAYS YET TO COME... NOT SUCK. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN.

And yes... every year I totally take my birthday wish VERY seriously. I don't care how long it takes me to complete it; the others simply have to wait until I finish it to my complete satisfaction. Only THEN can we chow down on delicious cake and ice cream. Which afterall, if you really want to know... is naturally the REAL reason I love my birthdays.









             

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