Wednesday, May 18, 2016


Total yippee. This is my birthday week. Am pretty stoked about it, too. Here I am 68 years old and life has been pretty damn good, if I say so myself. Am thrilled I'm apparently not kicking the bucket any time soon by having some horrible disease. I'm also thrilled I can pretty much buy myself any damn present I want. Well... within reason, that is. And I'm certainly thrilled that my life is filled with wonderful family and friends. And to top it off, I'm thrilled with my birthday plans tomorrow!

To kick off the celebration, I got a box of DEEElious chocolate covered strawberries from my kid today along with an ecard they also sent. These strawberries are my alltime favorite and they are HUGE, as Donald likes to say. I've already downed two of them and have only had them for about 2 hours. What I loved best about the ecard btw, is that my son included a picture of us on the front, each wearing red framed glasses. His he probably ditched a long time ago by now but mine have fallen off the face of the earth as of a year and a half ago. I'm still heartsick over it but whatever.

I've invited 17 of my favorite girlfriends for a Girl's Night Out party. We will first start off with a simple dinner at Claudia's house where I will totally love my birthday cake for dessert. You have no idea how much I look forward to birthday cake each and every year! We'll have a fabulous time chit chatting, eating, maybe even getting soused for all I know. Then afterwards we'll mozey on over to the playhouse, which is not far, for THE best evening of rock 'n roll. You see that picture up above?

That's the play we're all going to see... a musical tribute of these 4 men. Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash and Carl Perkins. The reviews have been fanTAStic and I'm SO looking forward to seeing this production! I can tell already I'll be singing every word to every song right smack out loud, meaning I'll probably ruin the music for everyone around me but I don't give a shit. I'm going to have FUN... much like Cyndi Lauper wants me to. Besides... I'm pretty much already a material girl, kinda like Madonna so perfectly depicted in her excellent song. Boom. Put the two together and next thing you know I'll be in my Birthday Glory. Anyway...

I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned this years ago but on every birthday I always wear an outfit of my favorite color... white... and this year will be no different. Believe me... I am dying to wear pale pink, but on the day of my birthday it totally has to be white. I already know which outfit I'll be too, and I'm going to love wearing it. Thank GOD the temps will be in the mid 60s which reminds me... the entire month of May so far has been so damn delightful it's more than I could have ever asked for. Three nights ago I even had the heat on for an hour! DEAR GOD: PLEASE LET THE WEATHER STAY THIS COOL RIGHT SMACK UP TO SEPTEMBER. THANK YOU GOD. AMEN. Regardless...

All I know is that who the hell can even imagine what next May could bring me, so it's pretty important that I celebrate every birthday like there's no tomorrow. God forbid. Which brings me to my last point: OMG. I'M GOING TO BE 68 F'ING YEARS OLD. I am STUNNED. Besides neither Bob nor Linda ever REACHED their 60s so every year is pretty important to celebrate, if you ask me. And... if you're in good health. And btw... when I turn 70?? Holy shit... I'll freak but PLENTY. Unless of course I look utterly fantastic in which case then yippee.

I never freaked out when I turned 40, 50 or 60. But 70?? Jesus. Now THAT'S moving on in years, for sure. That'll give me what? Another 10 years before I'm gone from the face of the earth forever?? Maybe even less for all I know?? Holy Mother F. 

What I do know is that whenever I'm sitting in some wheelchair, dribbling from my mouth, needing someone to feed me my birthday cake then THAT my friend is totally the time to call Dr. Kevorkian. If I can't feed myself french fries, cake and lobster then who even needs to celebrate anymore? Besides... even Cyndi and Madonna are looking older nowadays which is way too bad. I'd love to stay this age forever. If only.   

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