Saturday, September 14, 2013
PARTY OF ONE
Oh my God. Here I go again and I can not believe it. IT JUST GOT WORSE.
First I bitched about having my next door neighbor's disgusting van parked in his driveway every damn day of the year and NOW I'm ready to slit my wrists altogether. As if the van wasn't enough I JUST ABOUT FREAKED last Sunday when I saw THIS. I mean THAT. That up there in the picture up above. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Now he's added A TAILGATE TENT?? Shit... this is getting major ridiculous.
I can't TELL you what an eye sore this is! I HATE IT. And I hate the guy who's doing this, too. I like the wife though, but whatever. In the meantime...
Turns out the guy's son has just begun college. Care to guess which one?? Time's up. CLEMSON, OF COURSE. Although I must tell you all this adulation to Clemson began decades ago when the first of three generations began attending the school. Apparently celebrating this school is first on their list of reasons to party hearty. Man... talk about obsessing on the mundane. Trust me... the van is this guy's dearest possession of all time. And now... so is the tent.
I just WISHED I could walk up the the neighbor and tell him... GET RID OF THIS PIECE OF CRAP. It's totally unattractive. It's juvenile. And it's ruining my view of what happens to be an otherwise stunning neighborhood. In fact... the people on the OTHER side of his house are in the midst of selling their home. Were it me.... I'd tell my neighbor: YOUR BULLSHIT VAN IS KEEPING ME FROM MAKING A SALE. MOVE THIS EYESORE IMMEDIATELY! Of course I have no clue whatsoever what effect the van being parked in the driveway actually has had in sales, but it can't possibly be GOOD.
You know how people hire hit men to do in folks they no longer want them around? I would HAPPILY pay someone in a minute to come and either key the entire van, blow out the entire engine or even shoot holes all through this monstrosity. Well... okay. Bullet holes are a bit much, but if someone ELSE ordered it, I'd be tap dancing all around the block but good. As for the tailgating tent... WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?? And btw... don't think for one minute that I didn't notice the tent is set up with just one chair. Gives a whole new meaning to: PARTY OF ONE alright.
In the meantime, I guess I'd be pretty damn happy with Clemson just having a total losing season this year. That ought to freak the neighbor out, for sure. Except already... they're two for two. Damnit.