Thursday, September 26, 2013


Care to guess what Marlene Dietrich, Doris Day, Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett... just to name a few.. have in common? Basically it all boils down to: at some point in their lives they decided to do their photos in SOFT FOCUS. To sorta hide the fact they were aging, had imperfections or whatever. 

These women never considered a soft lens when they were young. They didn't need to. But when they became MY age? Oh man... they so turned soft. So to speak.

In the meantime... get this. MY TIME TOO, HAS COME. Seriously. Soft focus is definitely the way to go with this recent photo of me! Check it out up there and see for yourself. I'm telling you... I do believe it makes a major difference. EEEKS. Yet another reason proving I'm no longer a spring chicken. On the other hand... I totally love this concept.

First of all... I am ALWAYS on a perpetual quest to have a really pretty picture taken of myself. And the reason the quest is always ongoing is quite simple: I have yet to ever actually have had one taken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There are plenty of so called decent enough snapshots of me to be found but not necessarily a fantastically beautiful one. Second of all however... until I do, I am now so sticking with this soft focusing bit for SURE. It's definitely a fanTAStic temporary solution to the aging process. Third of all, I always say... until the day comes that I begin to look like Nicole Kidman... I'll simply have to continue on my personal photo journey. And believe me. I have no visions of grandeur here. I totally know I'll never be a Nicole lookalike. Ever. Damnit.

No wonder. I'm getting old. Don't even ask. Granted... the pretty photo search of myself is WAY down on my list of items that prove I'm now 65. There apparently is far more weighty proof at hand. For instance... I basically remember nothing anymore. HUH? WHAT DID I COME IN HERE FOR?? Better yet... WAIT. WHAT WAS I JUST TELLING YOU?? Worst of all... REALLY?? WHEN DID I SAY THAT?? Or even NOW WTF DID THEY JUST TELL ME AGAIN?? I'm telling you... my mind is either filled with such garbage or I'm headed to the looney bin but fast.

Another way in which I know I'm 65 is that I accomplish way less in a day than I did in my 30s and 40s lets say. Back in those days, I could wake up at eight in the morning and go all day long filling the time with hordes of activities. NOW however? Geez. It's crazy. Three or four tasks and bingo. I'm ready for a time out. Let alone a nap. In the meantime however... it's becoming more and more clear. I'M GETTING OLD.

Although the good news is: I now see I think I can maybe fake my aging a bit thanks to the soft focusing feature in so much software. I don't even need a soft lens anymore in a camera! I want to look younger? Boom. I'll just import the picture and yippee. I'll simply soften it myself and suddenly 1-2-3. I'm years younger! Well, kinda. 

Oh yeah. Here's another pict of me from the other night also done in soft focus. Something tells me however that everyone I was with that evening had a pretty good idea I was definitely in my mid sixties. No wonder. They were looking at me BEFORE I became artifically focused. Which is too bad since try as I may... I can only fool some of the people some of the time.

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