Saturday, March 14, 2020

AN IMPOSSIBILITY


I happen to love hot dogs which is crazy since I would NEVER have chosen hot dogs over hamburgers until I was about 65 years old. Maybe a little sooner. In fact what I REALLY adored was a Burger King Whopper. Apparently my tastes run the gamut from crappy to gourmet. I love a Whopper with Cheese as much as I love eating a filet mignon, prime rib with a bone, or of course lobster. Seriously. I always threaten my friends that my next birthday party is going to be at Burger King.

Don’t get me wrong, however. If you suggest we go for a Big Mac or a Wendy’s Double with Cheese (and of course, a Frosty) I will dance with delight. I am a target audience for these fast food hamburger poisons. Don’t even get me started on the french fries. EXCELLENT.

In the meantime, this evening was the first time ever I tried something different at Burger King. No… I’d never get a salad with chicken or something. Or any other salad they offer. Instead… tonight I was at BK specifically for their IMPOSSIBLE WHOPPER that everyone has talked about for so long. I was told you could never tell that the burger part was not meat.

Guess what? The Impossible Whopper test result? THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I’VE EVER TASTED! Sooo good and true to it’s claim, you’d never know you were eating a plant based burger. I was thrilled with every bite. Especially since I figured I was eating something way less poisonous to your body than a regular Whopper. Uh… not so fast, however.

There ARE fewer calories, granted. But only 30 less. There are NOT fewer carbs, unfortunately. In fact, there are more, which means the Whopper has millions of carbs and the Impossible Whopper has millions plus 11. WHAT A SCAM. Unless of course you’re vegan and just don’t want to eat meat. I was sooo hoping I was going to be eating a Whopper with WAY less carbs so I could enjoy it guilt free. Turns out it's impossible, alright. 

Looking at the nutritional information of the two burgers and boom, you are screwed with both. Man, what a disappointment. I was so hoping I could eat this Impossible Whopper for a meal everyday, like Jared did with his subs from Subway, and yippee. I’d be healthy and skinny in no time. Totally never going to happen. While the meat and the meatless burger may be okay on it’s own, add the bread, mayo, etc. etc., and bingo. The calories will kill you with either one… 660 calories vs. 630. I guess if that’s the ONLY thing you eat each day, you’d be okay. But… what about the fries and milk shake? Oops. Factor that in and calories probably go WAY, WAY up. 

Which basically means: either choice is like pouring poison down your throat. Yes, DELICIOUS poison, but still. Poison, nevertheless. Thus in the end, I think I’m much better off with having a hot dog. Damnit. The funny thing is…

For the past six months I’ve been very careful about how many carbs are in the foods I eat. Hence, my sugar levels have come way down (my doctor is tickled pink) plus I’ve lost maybe 8 or 9 pounds. So I basically still don’t see Burger King on my list of places to eat. Total bummer. For according to my calculations, that is one restaurant one can only visit about once a year. Although.. I will say the Imp. Whop. is huuge so  one can easily make this a two meal kind of deal. On the other hand…

If like Jared, I eat only two Impossible Whoppers a day I’m thinking that brings my calorie count up to just over 1200 calories. That’s pretty good, right? Hmmm… maybe this could work, after all. Of course by the 3rd day you’d probably want to hurl, in need of a fresh salad or fresh fruit or a fresh fish fillet or SOMEthing. Besides, regardless of the calories, both burger choices have more carbs in one, than we’re supposed to have in an entire day. Whammo. The underlying flaw in this impossible diet. 

BTW… Do they even still give out those stupid little crown hats?? I guess I should have asked for one tonight when I was there. Especially since I won’t be able to go back there for almost another 12 months. But believe you me... I SO am looking forward to this time next year for this is DEFintely the most delicious tasting burger EVER.




From Memory!
 (from the 60s) There's a Burger King close to you, try a Whopper order two, best burger buy for miles around... broiled, not fried... how does that sound?? Burger Kinnng...

(1974) Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders won't upset us, all we ask is that you let us serve it yourrrr way. Have it your way....Have it your way... at Burger King!

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