Sunday, August 31, 2014

EVERYBODY LOVES LINDA


It's totally true that many, many people DO love me... but I'm like a mere drop in the bucket. You wanna know who they REALLY really love?? They apparently love Raymond! Big time, too! 

Including my Mother, btw. It was one of her favorite sitcoms and everytime I was with her while she was watching this show, I used to think: Jesus. Talk about way too much damn noise and commotion in this deal. Trust me... Raymond's entire household is none too quiet, in the least. Sorta like REAL home-lives where there are parents, three kids and especially, major busybody grandparents who just happen to live directly across the street! Don't ask.

In the meantime, I can't believe it for get this: I've yet again turned into my Mother! What the hell is happening to me, anyway?? 

I think it began with the fact I can no longer watch late night talk shows anymore given I am so old, I have no clue who is who. I also realized I could no longer watch even Stewart or Corbert since THEIR shows made me just too damn wired before bedtime. Which is why I had to then begin doing reruns of old sitcoms, most of which I now already know by heart. Which brings me to: 

EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. A sitcom which I began watching a few weeks ago. Which then happened to recently escalate since my back is giving me medical issues which btw, aren't over yet. Hence I was in bed a lot the past 10 days, let's say. The next thing I know, in no time at all, this Raymond show caught my eye and I must say... it was making me chuckle QUITE a bit. It became the perfect bullshit to watch while in bed for hour after hour. So...

Given I rarely watch regular broadcast TV, I decided to stock up by recording all the showings of this particular sitcom so I'd have plenty to view while resting my back. Plenty?? Let me rephrase. I mean HORDES. For within a couple of days of recording this TV show, I looked at my playlist today and WHOA. I NOW HAVE 41 NEW RAYMOND SHOWS YET TO WATCH! How the hell did I accumulate SO DAMN MANY IN SO SHORT A TIME?? It's beyond crazy.

And oh yeah. All I can think of is that the cast from this TV show is making ZILLIONS AND ZILLIONS OF DOLLARS, for I swear to God... I never SAW so many reruns being played in a weeks' time. I'm totally jealous of them too, btw. I wanna make that kind of money, damnit.

Anyway... thanks to these hordes of playbacks, I have now been able to laugh aplenty while being indoors this week. Yes, there is still crazy ass noise and shenanigans going on in the show, but overall I do have to say: I'm totally loving the story lines! Much like my Mother did. This show has been THE perfect company for me. I mean seriously... I'll bet I've watched a good 10 per day and by the next morning... boom. Another five has been recorded. Well, sorta.

I love the dynamics of Ray and his TV wife, Debra. I get a kick out of Ray's totally intrusive Mother who puts her two cents into EVERYthing. Plus... she SO makes it obvious that her favorite kid is Raymond, much to the chagrin of his older brother. I am not into the Father too much but no matter. I am SO getting a real laugh out of these shows is all I can say. I've become addicted in one short week!

Which reminds me: it's a good thing I have this Raymond diversion because I am sorry to say that in spite of my being a complete News and/or Political junkie, I don't think I can watch the nightly 6:30 evening news any longer. It's become THE MOST DEPRESSING SHOW ON TELEVISION, EVER. I mean it.

Have you SEEN the news in the past three years?? NOTHING but horrible disasters, horrible weather reports, horrible terrorism, horrible Congressman, horrible finances, horrible crimes, horrible EVERYthing. It's making me utterly sick to my stomach!! Christ. WTF is going ON in the world lately?? 

Man. Am I ever glad I'll be kicking the bucket in the next 10 years or whatever. I'll be checking out JUST in time, believe you me. Even in his new book coming out next month, all about New World Order, Henry Kissinger basically tells us we're doomed. As in: "The concept of order that has underpinned the modern era is in crisis." Are you kidding me? Just what I need to hear. NO WONDER my f-ing back is all stressed out. It's the fall of the Roman Empire all over again!

Which is why I'm glad I'll have the next decade to simply finish watching all the Raymond reruns. First... it'll take me that long to see all the episodes and second... at least I'll be laughing my sweet little ass off. To hell with the Huffington Post. To hell with the nightly news shows. To hell with political nonsense. I just don't think I have the stomach for ANY of it anymore.


Except: a slight glitch. Without any news organizations, how the hell am I going to find out what's the latest with Joan Rivers? Or with baby Prince George? Ooops. Maybe I need to rethink this, afterall. 

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