Thursday, August 14, 2014


So this is what it's like to live in the big city. You don't have to worry about public transportation. You don't have to worry about hitching a ride with someone. You don't have to worry about car payments. Plus you don't even have to worry about parking. THAT'S what I call smart.

While in Miami I was noticing all over the place cars like the one in the picture up above. Some were in traffic and some were parked on the street. Naturally at first glance, I decided that these cars were THE most definite way to make sure you get killed while driving on I-95, but then my kid told me all about it's REAL purpose. You totally won't believe it.

Turns out.. these cars, called CAR2GO... are at the disposal of anyone who has a driver's license but no car with which to use it. So... instead of your having to actually buy a car, all you have to do is walk down plenty of streets in Miami, agree to a payment of 41 cents per mile via your cellphone I think, find yourself one of these parked cars and bingo. Transportation problem solved. You now have an actual car to use for getting yourself anywhere you damn well please! It's totally easy as pie. Plus... a fantastic idea.

AND... even better... no insurance is needed. No reservation is needed. No late fees are needed. No cash is needed and best of all... gas is included!! IT'S CRAZY. Who ever HEARD of such a thing?? What you DO need however, is to find a place where you see one of these cars parked on the street and boom. You hop right in it and drive it to wherever your little heart desires. Well... after you tell the company what your preferred method of payment will be, that is.

Once you get to the place you want... you have two options. Park it so it'll be there when you finish whatever you're doing or... find a designated CAR2G0 spot on the street and park it there so the NEXT person who wants a car in the area will have access it. WHOA. What a concept! Apparently LOTS of big cities have this going on and I'm so telling you... it's ingenious.

It's also... as I said before... a sure fire way to scare the shit out of you while on the Interstate, given the car is LITTLE. Of course I would never consider driving a vehicle like this in traffic unless I was merely going to around the block or... looking for a reliable way to commit hari kari. I myself drive a full sized luxury automobile and even then I'd still never do the Interstate. So given that this CAR2GO is way more along the lines of being in a bumper car at a carnival, I'd ALMOST feel safer riding a bike. But whatever. Apparently there are plenty of people willing to chance it, thus this car lending deal is pretty popular. 

What is an even BETTER idea however is that you never again have to have find change for a parking meter in Miami! WHOA. TOTALLY EXCELLENT IDEA. All my kid ever does is hold his cell phone up to a meter, let it scan something and boom. You're all paid up. Talk about the way of the future! At first I gave up saving quarters for washing machines, then I gave up saving quarters for pay phones, and NOW I can give up saving quarters for parking! Well, in big cities, anyway.

Besides... I'll bet parking meters in major metropolis' probably now only take dollar bills in today's market. IF you even need to use cash for meters anymore. Man... I'm getting old.

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