2020

Thank GOD 2019 is over and done. Yes, in many ways it’s been a wonderful year for me personally, but still…  several friends of mine passed away. Others had major health struggles. And naturally, I had to see fucking Trump 24/7 on every communication platform known to man.

So with that in mind, you can well imagine my eagerness to usher in the new year. I actually had a great celebration to welcome in 2020 but I must admit... for the first time in 60 years, I absolutely could NOT stay up to watch the ball drop in Times Square!! I was just soooo damn tired, thus I wound up recording it… although believe me. It is totally not the same as viewing it live. Man. What a loser I am. Anyway…

We had plans to see my alltime favorite… LITTLE WOMEN and then go grab dinner. Needless to say, I LOVED the movie, including my beloved Diet Coke and popcorn. But when it was time for dinner, we kinda decided to forgo the trendy restaurants, where we knew it would be busy, the food probably not up to par, and the service on the crappy side. Instead we decided on a bullshit restaurant… O’Charley’s which is decent enough for lunch, but for dinner, who knows. Well, it turns out the entire city knows. We pulled into the parking lot and the place was SLAMMED. Seriously. I was in shock. We then took one look at the hordes of people waiting for tables and boom. Hightailed it out there but FAST. Wanna know where we wound up?? Sitting down??

DENNY’S!

Omg. Can you even imagine?? Our NYE dinner was in the largest breakfast franchise known to man! Although I will tell you right off the bat… the chocolate milkshake and fries were EXCELLENT. Some crazy ass fancy meal, let me tell you. On the other hand…

I wasn’t all that shook up because the next day, New Year’s Day, I was going to a fantastic buffet brunch at a local hotel/restaurant so I knew my thirst for fine dining was sure to be satisfied. And, indeed it was. But THE best part of the meal was when I was leaving the table. You will never believe this.

So it turns out all of us were having a wonderful, happy time, eating and talking about a zillion of things. And, while we certainly were not LOUD, the tables were close enough so that if you wanted to hear our discussion, I guess you certainly could. Apparently that’s what the couple next to us did. Especially the husband. Turns out he was listening to us with gusto, including our conversation about our hatred for Trump and McConnel. (hopefully there was even some talk of blow jobs during the meal, but I can’t even remember) If only. Anyway…

The man listening totally was not into a Democratic state of mind. How do I know this?? Listen up.

I was the last to actually leave the table when the meal was over. Everyone else was already in the lobby but I was still at the table, putting on my coat and grabbing my purse. Then, as I began to step away, the man, I mean geezer,  says loudly to his wife…

I HOPE THEY GET REALLY HORRIBLE YEAST INFECTIONS!!!!

Do you fucking beLIEVE this??? I could do nothing but begin to laugh RIGHT OUT LOUD for I NEVER before heard ANYone ever come up with this kind of a curse on people!! EVER. Okay. So if you want to call us assholes, go ahead. You want to tell us to go fuck ourselves, sure. BUT TO WANT TO CURSE PEOPLE WITH YEAST INFECTIONS?? Are you kidding me??? I was floored and at the same time laughing so hard at him, I couldn’t believe it. I mean, really. Is he nuts?? Naturally… the wife immediately said: HAROLD STOP THAT! To which he replied…

I WONDER WHAT COLLEGE THEY WENT TO! To which I answered, as I turned around while walking away: HARVARD! And then I just kept on walking. When I reached my friends and relayed the story to them in between my laughter… THEY WERE STUNNED. I was still laughing so hard, I could hardly get the story out, but when I did, THEY WERE SIMPY AGHAST to say the least. I mean… who DOES that?? WHO??


Needless to say, I have retold this story a zillion times already and when I told it to my breakfast club yesterday of about 10 women, they too either laughed right smack out loud or showed the same shock my friends from brunch showed. Actually, they all did both. Can you believe this is how my first encounter of the New Year beGAN?? So typical for living in the Land of Linda. It all makes me chuckle up a storm everytime I think of it. I just can't get OVER this idiot! If ever there was a story I could retell over and over and over, this would surely be IT.  

And with that… HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. And of course, am crossing my fingers everyone I know and love is totally infection free this year!