Tuesday, October 1, 2013

QUICK. CALL JACKIE!


I'm pretty horrified. Have you SEEN Caroline Kennedy lately?? Granted... Cher has her plate filled but plenty what with Chaz becoming a HE and all. But if you ask me... Jackie would also have a full plate in the Caroline department. As in: WHAT?? WTF IS WITH ALL THE WRINKLES TOTALLY FILLING CAROLINE'S FACE?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This is nuts especially since this is one the milder shots of her. I'm telling you... in eight more years she'll be Eunice Shriver all over again. So not a pretty picture.

First of all... when the hell did Caroline Kennedy get old enough to even HAVE wrinkles?? I'm utterly stunned. Second of all... since she DOES have these all these completely unattractive wrinkles... OMG. GET RID OF THEM IMMEDIATELY. Jackie would never have allowed this look were she still alive to see them. She'd never have allowed them on herself thus she'd never allow them on Caroline either. Which of course is where I come in. A johnny-on-spot substitute mother who needs to give Caroline a heads' up on: OOPS. TIME FOR DR. FIXIT, MY SWEET. I mean seriously. Why would Caroline even opt for such a look?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. She's famous and wealthy and brilliant and all that. But still... does she not own a mirror? I mean I'm sure if Jackie were around I could almost guarantee you that she'd be hauling Caroline off to a plastic surgeon in a New York minute. Especially since Caroline's body is still so great looking. The poor thing is 10 years younger than I am and my face is not even CLOSE to having these sort of wrinkles. My ass and thighs? Absolutely. They both look pretty much like a Chinese Shar-Pei but my face is basically wrinkle free. And it was even BEFORE Dr. Harley.

Anyway, I'm thinking that especially now, since Caroline is our new Ambassador to Japan, this would be a great time to rid herself of looking so damn OLD. God knows... given her reported worth of over $250 million dollars... she could well afford such a nip and tuck. Not even her husband Ed Schlossberg can guide her in this matter either, since they've supposedly pretty much lived apart for years now. But whatever.

All I know is that I was shocked when I saw this and other picts. For obviously.... if Caroline is looking so old you can only imagine what that means for my own particular look. And age. Jesus... this so can't be good news. I really do wish Maria Shriver would just call Caroline and give her some good 'ole cousin-ly advice.


Oh. By the way... I'm tickled pink that Caroline will be our liaison to Japan. My Mother would have been too, given Mom's Japanese heritage. Although I can tell you right now... Mom's best advice for our new ambassador would definitely be: QUICK. GET TO A DOCTOR.      

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