OCD

I think I may have written something about this before but I then figured, if I can’t remember, then I suspect you can’t either. So with that in mind…

It wasn’t until I was about 60… 11 years ago now… that I began to develop crazy ass behaviors that I’d not had before. Case in point… when I turned 60, boom. All of a sudden I became spooked by other people’s germs. Seriously. I would NEVER take a grocery cart today without first wiping it down with those fantastic little sterile wipes they offer us at the cart stands. Actually, it could possibly be THE most perfect invention ever. Before I was 60, no problem. I’d touch every cart in the store if I wanted… all without sterilizing the handles. TODAY however?? No way.

At 60, I also began my first entry into the world of OCD. Like… after my housekeeper leaves my house when she is finished cleaning, if there is even one item not placed exactly as I had it on a table for instance, it takes me no time at all to put it back, facing it in it’s original position. Like my Mother’s photograph, let’s say. I need her frame to be facing at a very specific angle and if when cleaning, my housekeeper puts it in a DIFferent direction, then I have to correct it the moment I see it.

Oh man. This type of deal can go and on in my house for all kinds of things. My eye has to have THE  exact spatial relationship and direction in which I originally placed an item. And, if you think this is an easy behavior to maintain, trust me. It’s not. On the other hand…

I’m not really too too crazy with my OCD. I mean… there are people who are WAYYY into all kinds of bullshit compulsions but luckily I’m not one of those. I don’t go check locked doors over and over again before I leave the house or anything like that. Granted… I won’t put up with men who come to my home and leave the toilet seat up but actually, I suspect that that disorder is covered by my germ phobia, so I’m kinda good to go.  Regardless…

My latest OCD problem??? You will never believe this! It began about 2 months ago and frankly, it’s become a major pain in the ass! Yet now, it’s officially and permanently ingrained in my OCD list of crazy ass everyday funtioning. Want to know what it is?? Sitting down???

As of about 8 weeks ago… I now HAVE to set the volume of my TV on even numbers ONLY! Seriously! IT’S NUTS! Watching a progam set on a volume number of 35?? Absolutely not! It now has to be set at either 34 or 36. Can you even IMAGINE?? Where the fuck did this new behavior even COME from?? For my entire life, I was able to set the volume, happily I might add, at 29 with no problem. Two months ago however?? Jesus. It has to be set at 30. Or 28.

I HAVE by the way, TRIED to do odd numbers, but something in me just won’t allow it. I know. I’M READY FOR THE FUNNY FARM and I’m not particularly pleased about it, either. If someone else had told me they just HAD to do this crazy volume control deal, I’d tell them to check into an institution immediately, But since it’s me, I just tell myself: Hey… do what you have to do and deal with it. End of funny farm worries. Oh yeah. And btw... what's with this every channel having a different volume level altogether?? No wonder I'm going nuts.

Which reminds me. Is the whole country having to go without Directv's CBS at the moment?? It's blacked out all over?? I can't believe I'll have to forego CBS Sunday Morning yet anOTHER week! It's maybe the finest show on the airwaves and bingo. It's gone! 

For which maybe I should be happy. At least there is one show for which I don't have to worry about volume numbers. The only problem is: I'm not happy. BRING BACK CBS, please! My addiction to Sunday Morning needs feeding.