Monday, June 24, 2019


Dedicated to Laura: who has waited ever so patiently for me get my ass in gear. Finally.

Geez… talk about time flying when having fun. I mean, seriously… it’s been over a year since I’ve last posted and why it’s taken so long, I have no clue. Other than I just didn’t feel like doing it. Or… maybe I was just too busy watching my bustline getting way too close to my waistline. A great gift from the aging process, btw. Or maybe as I age, I'm just getting way too boring, even for myself. In any case…

A year goes by and then I think: Okay. Here I am, having turned 71 just a month ago, so what the hell. I might as well add an entry. I mean really. Just how lazy can one woman be?? Which means… those like Laura, and a whole bunch of my faithful readers, can rest easy. HERE I AM. Hallef'ingluyah.

Which is kinda good news for you, given many folks have written saying: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, ANYWAY?? Actually… Laura called, but it’s nice to be missed, regardless.

Well… wait no more. Yippee, yippee. Am happy to report all is great despite my being another year older. The first thing that comes to mind to tell you about, is the fact my main doctor… my internist… decided to fire me as her patient after about 6 years together. WTF???

F. HER is all I can say.

Who the hell fires a patient, especially one as cooperative as me?? I mean it… I’ve been with that practice for over 18 years and then all of a sudden I get fired?? Jesus. This doctor can rot in hell for all I care.

I should have gotten the gist of things when my original doctor at this practice, and then 3 more doctors after her, eventually left the practice altogether. Jesus. I so hate this last lady, now.

Turns out, unbeknownst to me, last month I had a bad urinary infection. Plus, I could hardly breathe, to boot. I was even admitted to the hospital and naturally, after I was all spiffy again, I was told to then follow up with my primary doctor. My internist. Which I did, about a week later.

That’s when the Witch Doctor basically got really annoyed with me because I had asked that we do a follow up urine test to be sure the infection was indeed gone. Reasonable enough request, right?? Apparently not.

The doctor got all hot and bothered over my suggesting such a test to which I told her… uh, how ELSE will we know I’m completely okay? I didn’t even have symptoms in the first place, alerting me to said infection, so how the hell will we know it is in fact gone if we don’t retest? What an asshole.

It finally got to the point where the doctor literally started walking out of the examining room and I was forced to say: HEY. TIME OUT. I’M STILL SPEAKING TO YOU. To which the medical bitch says:

I’ve DO have OTHER patients to see, you know.

I was pretty shocked, to say the least and all I could think of to say was: OKAY. YOU WIN. And bingo. She walked out, leaving me to find my way out to the check out desk.

GO TO HELL YOU F’ING DOCTOR. I HATE YOUR GUTS AND HOPE YOU DROP DEAD AND GO TO HELL. Come  to find out btw… about 35 other people have also left this office in the past 18 months, let's say. What a surprise, right?

So anyway… the very next day after this bullshit encounter with the damn doctor, I get a call from her office manager. UH… I’M CALLING YOU TO SAY THAT DR. SO AND SO DECIDED YOU’RE NOT A GOOD FIT AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR. Huh??? After years and years?? Is she nuts?? Besides, WHAT other doctor?? The manager suggested I try someone else in the practice and I simply told her: THANKS, BUT NO THANKS. Code for: F you too, office manager. 

I was done. Of course I was also now without an internist and a way to have my scripts written.

Man… I never heard of such a thing!! Seriously… they can all go to hell as far as I am concerned. That’s the good news. The bad news is: you have any idea how hard it is to find a really good internist in this city?? Can’t possibly happen without pulling all sorts of strings. Which luckily, I was able to do. (I love knowing people in high places) So basically it all boils down to: on June 10th I consulted with a new physician, one whom everyone I’ve spoken to, absolutely adores. Granted, she’s about 25 mins. from me, but I can totally see she’s worth the trip.

Getting this new doctor was kinda tricky, btw. She doesn’t normally take on new patients and her desk is FILLED with new patient requests. Yet somehow, yippee. I was able to make the cut and set up an appointment and now, I can happily report the new internist is everything my last one wasn't. Well... unless she takes my Ativan prescription away from me, that is. I will choose to live without blood pressure pills if I have to, or even diabetic pills. But Ativan? Absolutely no way. 

I’m still sort of stunned that I’ve been kicked out of using the old doctor. I swear… I’d been nothing but an exemplary patient. My visits were short and sweet, I was always polite and patient, and once I got all my scripts, I was good to go for the next 3 months. Wow. I guess the lady has this crazy ass attitude about follow up urine tests or something. 

Oh yeah… I forgot to mention: the week before I was hospitalized, I was doing email with this idiot, and she kept telling me she had electronically sent a script to my pharmacist. She said this 3 times and 3 times I told her the pharmacy never got it. That was another argument altogether. Finally I said… I’m not questioning your not having sent the prescription, I’m merely telling you they never got it, despite your 3 attempts. Thus… CALL IT IN ALREADY, DAMNIT. Okay. That last sentence I didn't actually verbalize but doesn't matter. 

You can well imagine how long I dwelt on this latest little experience. And, how often I repeated the story, to make sure everyone I know, learns to hate this witch as much as I do. So far I have to happily admit… I’ve a done pretty damn good job in smearing her name all over the place. Yay me! Now…

On a much happier note let me just say that YIPPEE, I had a wonderful 71st birthday celebration! Friends and I gathered for a delicious brunch, which is totally one of my favorite meals. Especially since it was an upscale buffet which, despite all the germs people probably cough and sneeze all over the fancy food displays, is still my favorite way to down a meal. I totally love looking at a whole bunch of hot and cold entrees and then choosing some of all that I love to eat. I feel like King Henry VIII, feasting on hordes of specialties.

Oh… and by the way… I am pretty much officially now looking like a total old lady. Ugh. I mean it. That youthful glow I had for years and years is SO gone. Don’t believe me?? Here’s the proof:  

Make up and pretty clothing are just not doing their job like they used to, damnit. On the other hand, thanks to Publix FINALLY opening up here in town, I was able to serve a fantastic birthday sheet cake! First time in 16 years! 

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