Tuesday, October 18, 2016

CODE RED


And no. I'm not talking about how depressed and freaked I am at the possibility Trump may be our next President. His poll numbers are still way too high for anything close to my comfort zone but whatever. I'm not even talking about a hospital emergency or NASA giving a major alert to astronauts in outer space, either. Instead, I'm talking about last night when my kid said to me: UH OH MOM. THIS ISN'T GOOD. WE HAVE A CODE RED SITUATION GOING ON HERE.

And boy, was he ever correct.

The minute I saw him, I knew immediately what he was talking about thus I immediately put my hand upon my mouth, gasped right out loud and felt my eyes become as huge as saucers. For me personally... he was totally correct about his Code Red announcement. And it all happened so innocently.

I had asked him to go to the garage and please bring in two 12 pack boxes of Diet Coke cans. Which naturally I ALways have in my refrigerator to assure I can happily feed my well known addiction to the horribly non nutritious drink. I was standing in the kitchen... he was standing at the kitchen door leading to the garage. OMG. PLEASE TELL ME IT AIN'T SO.

Except... it was so. I WAS OUT OF DIET COKE. 

You have NO idea how this can so be described as an emergency in my house. WHAT? NO DIET COKE?? HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT IT??  Which could also be described as WHAT?? MAKE ME DRINK SOMETHING CRAPPY... LIKE NICE COLD, FILTERED WATER, INSTEAD??? Jesus. I can't ever reMEMber that last time I was ever without a Diet Coke backup. It's totally more important than any med I may take. Seriously.

I know. I'm not bragging about this addiction, but it is what it is. Thankfully, I had enough to carry me through today, but you can bet your sweet ass, later this evening I'm totally making an emergency run to the grocery store to get my stock back up to snuff. Which reminds me.... I am not too pleased either, to say that I have now been in the grocery store more times in the past two months than I have been in the past two years. And... I now even know which items are on which aisles! Don't even ASK.

Cooking every night once again is so not what I thought I'd be doing ever again. Although I will say... last night I made an excellent dinner by first sautéing finely diced broccoli flowers and onion, adding some fresh salsa, cooking up some chicken breasts which I sliced through 3/4 of the way and stuffing all the veggies into the middle the breasts. After I plated it... my kid looked and said: OMG. RESTAURANT QUALITY FOR SURE! And trust me... it WAS delicious. Anyway, who cares.

What I DO care about is the other Code Red problem. Donald J. Trump. I can't even TELL you how depressed and unsettled I am that the more bullshit this man spouts, the more entrenched his supporters become. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH OUR COUNTRY, ANYWAY??? This is just so horrible and it is definitely affecting my psyche. 

Which is another way of saying: should you want to cheer me up by sending me a fabulous present, please feel free to do so. I could totally use it. And... to add fire to the flame, just today I read that McCain claims he and the Republican party will block ANY nominee Hillary puts forth for the Supreme Court, no questions asked. Tragic, coming the party that said they will not have any hearing on a nominee until the next President is elected. F. Y. REPUBLICAN PARTY. I HATE YOUR GUTS. With that...

Let me first get through the Diet Coke crisis. Then I can worry about President Trump, second. In which case... forget about the Diet Coke. I will just have to learn how to drink Spirytus Rektyfikowany, which is like number ONE in the strongest liquor ever department, so f'ing fast it will make your head spin.    


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