Thursday, December 19, 2013

THANKS BUT NO THANKS



I'm a pretty spiritual kinda gal. But George W. Bush would totally hate me. Although I hate him more, but who cares. Anyway... my sort of spirituality is that where I feel tremendous gratitude for the life I've been given and the hopes that I approach mankind with graciousness and compassion. George's on the other hand, is the kind of spirituality where he was supposedly in church one Sunday morning, grappling with the decision of whether or not to run for President... and boom. God magically, specifically, directly speaks to him and supposedly says: YEAH, GEORGE. YOU KNOW WHAT? THE COUNTRY ABSOLUTELY NEEDS YOU TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT. Boom. Done deal. He's gonna run. Well, God said SOMEthing along those lines anyway. Can you f'ing believe it??

Which to me is a perfect definition of who exactly should NEVER run for the highest office in the land. Really, George? God's voice came into church and sent a message just to you, telling you to go for it? Oh man. I can't even stomach the thought. You don't believe me? Here... read a couple of paragraphs of this article and figure it out for yourself. I'm telling you... it's true. Bush really does think God was speaking to him as if in a vision or something. Frankly, I myself say it must have been an after effect of LSD from years past. But whatever. Anyway... check out this link:

God Speaks to Georgie

I take prayer pretty seriously. And very personally. I have no clue whether or not there really IS a God-like figure up there listening to my prayers, but I sorta hope so given I say two personal prayers everytime I do my yoga session. I begin with a prayer to God, and then about half way through I say yet another. Which is exactly why I almost freaked when I saw this license plate a couple of months ago. The one up above there, in the picture I captured a couple of months ago.

Talk about my never doubting whether or not I live in the Bible Belt. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? SOME GUY IS ACTUALLY DIRECTING ME TO PRAY FOR HIM?? AND THEN PRAY FOR MYSELF, TOO?? Jesus. Since when do we go around telling strangers like me, to pray for them when I have no clue who the hell the guy is nor if he even deserves my blessing. Plus... HE PUTS THIS ON HIS LICENSE PLATE?? Whoa. The prisoner who made THIS plate must have felt some sort of redemption 1-2-3. I was totally shocked when I saw this. I still am, actually.

So shocked in fact that you have no idea what I had to go through to get a picture of this deal. Don't even ask. It was crazy. First I had to keep driving my car while reaching over, digging deep into my purse, feeling all around to grab my camera, all the while trying to keep up with the guy in traffic and then, only due to a stroke of luck.. or God's will maybe??... did we finally come to a stop light. And bingo. My chance to begin snapping away occurred! I must admit however, I probably said THANK GOD at that moment, but in truth I wasn't really thanking THE God. If anything... at the very least... I decided THAT ALONE was probably my prayer for the guy who's telling me to pray. THANK YOU GOD FOR LETTING ME GET A PICTURE OF THIS STUPID ASS LICENSE PLATE.

To my way of thinking... this kind of directive on a car is like me walking into the DMV and asking for a specialized plate (which I did do, btw but that's a whole other story altogether) and telling them to please make it say: SND $$ BOX 240. Can you imagine?? Man, would I ever love to do that. YIPPEE. I'D BECOME RICH!

In the meantime, I definitely take offense at people on the roads that I don't even know telling me I should pray for them. Uh... thanks but no thanks. WHO NEEDS YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?? I'LL PRAY FOR THE FOLKS WHOM I SPECIFICALLY WANT TO PRAY FOR! More importantly... I'd like to know exactly what this guy ever did to need so many damn prayers, in the first place. For all I know he could be sporting a freakin' stolen car!

So the bottom line here is: I guess this guy is living the life of Riley. No wonder. THE ENTIRE CITY IS PRAYING FOR HIM. Now granted... something really horrible could be happening in his life and he needs support but STILL. On a license plate?? Besides that... I'm supposed to pray for myself too?? As if I'm in need of some sort of forgiveness? Lordy Lordy. The Messiah better show up real soon because I'm beginning to think the entire Evangelicals are totally turning loony and are headed way off the deep end but FAST. And don't think for one minute this guy ISN'T an Evangelical. Remember: I'm in the Bible Belt.


Oh yeah... don't even get me started on this car being a Jaguar. I was behind Billy Graham?? Franklin Graham?? Any of the Grahams?? They DO live in Western NC, you know.

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